要怎麼活在當下?社群媒體助長憂鬱症?哈佛教授回答「快樂」相關問題|名人專業問答|GQ Taiwan

GQ Taiwan
22 Mar 202313:20

Summary

TLDR亚瑟·布鲁克斯教授在视频中探讨了幸福的本质,强调了良好的睡眠、感恩、目的感和满足感对幸福感的重要性。他解释了幸福感和不幸福感是大脑不同区域处理的,提出了通过降低不幸福感来提升幸福感的方法。此外,他还讨论了实现目标后的空虚感、如何通过感恩练习提高幸福感、以及社会媒体对情绪的潜在负面影响。最后,他提到了智慧、年龄对幸福感的影响以及如何通过培养智慧来获得更长久的幸福感。

Takeaways

  • 😴 良好的睡眠习惯并不是幸福的秘密,但它可以减少不快乐。
  • 🏆 达成目标后可能会经历抑郁或不确定性,这是所谓的“满足困境”。
  • 🧠 幸福与不快乐在大脑的不同半球处理,不快乐是基本的负面情绪。
  • 💊 多巴胺是一种神经调节剂,它与我们追求和实现目标时的满足感有关。
  • 🙏 感恩可以通过决定感到感激来实践,这涉及到元认知,即意识到自己的情绪和思考。
  • 📈 幸福是一个组合,包括享受、满足和目的感,这些是幸福的三大“宏观营养素”。
  • 🤔 目的感是幸福的一部分,可以通过回答“我为什么活着”和“我愿意为什么而死”这两个问题来找到。
  • 📱 社交媒体可能引起抑郁,因为它像社交生活中的垃圾食品,高热量但营养价值低。
  • 📊 随着年龄的增长,人们的幸福感受会先略有下降,然后在50岁左右开始回升。
  • 🌳 随着年龄的增长,人们的期望会变得更现实,这有助于情绪的稳定。
  • 🧘‍♂️ 正念或当下的存在意味着完全专注于当前时刻,这有助于我们不错过生活的每一刻。
  • 👵 智慧是随着年龄增长而增长的一种能力,它涉及教学、指导和理解事物的真正意义。

Q & A

  • 为什么良好的睡眠习惯并不是幸福的关键?

    -良好的睡眠习惯并不是幸福的关键,因为它们实际上并不会带来幸福感,而是减少不幸福感。睡眠、饮食和运动这些因素更多地是降低不幸福感,而不是直接增加幸福感。

  • 为什么说不幸福感和幸福感是大脑不同半球处理的?

    -不幸福感和幸福感是大脑不同半球处理的,因为它们是不同的基本情绪。左脸由右脑控制,当人们感受到负面情绪时,左脸的活动更为活跃,这表明负面情绪和幸福感是由大脑的不同部分处理的。

  • 实现目标后感到抑郁或不确定是怎么回事?

    -实现目标后感到抑郁或不确定是“满足困境”的体现。人们常常错误地认为获得某个东西会永远带来满足感,但实际上这种满足感是短暂的。这背后的神经生理学机制涉及到大脑中的多巴胺,当人们获得他们渴望的东西时,多巴胺的水平会上升,但随后又会下降,导致重新寻找新的目标。

  • 如何通过减少欲望来提高满足感?

    -提高满足感的方法不是通过增加所拥有的东西,而是通过减少欲望。满足感可以通过公式“所拥有的东西除以想要的东西”来理解。减少欲望可以提高这个比率,从而增加满足感。

  • 为什么说感恩是一种决定?

    -感恩是一种决定,因为人们可以通过决定感到感恩来管理自己的情绪。大脑的前额叶皮层可以帮助人们决定他们对情绪的反应,而不是被情绪所控制。通过练习感恩,比如每周日晚上列出五件感激的事情,并在接下来的一周内每天花时间回顾这个清单,可以显著提高幸福感。

  • 幸福是由哪些因素组成的?

    -幸福是由享受、满足和目的这三个可识别的因素组成的。享受不仅仅是快乐,而是有意识的快乐;满足来自于完成工作的喜悦;目的则是在生活中找到意义和目标。

  • 目的如何与幸福相关联?

    -目的是幸福的一个重要组成部分。如果人们感觉生活缺乏目的或意义,他们可能会经历存在危机。通过回答“我为什么活着”和“我愿意为什么而死”这两个问题,可以帮助人们找到他们生活的目的。

  • 社交媒体是否会导致抑郁?

    -是的,社交媒体可能会导致抑郁。它类似于社交生活中的垃圾食品,高热量但营养价值低。人们渴望的是一种叫做催产素的神经肽,它有助于人与人之间的联系,但在社交媒体上几乎得不到,这会导致人们过度使用社交媒体,从而降低幸福感。

  • 年龄如何影响幸福感?

    -大多数人在20多岁到40多岁期间幸福感会略有下降,但这种变化很小。然而,到了50多岁,幸福感会开始上升,并且几乎每个人都会经历这种上升趋势,直到大约70岁,除非他们有未治疗的精神疾病或物质使用障碍。

  • 如何随着年龄增长调整我们的期望?

    -随着年龄的增长,人们对未来的期望会逐渐变得更好。人们会逐渐理解事物的运作方式,认识到没有什么是永恒的,无论是好情绪还是坏情绪都不会持续太久。这种认识可以帮助人们更好地调整他们的期望,并使他们的生活更加幸福。

  • 智慧是如何定义的?

    -智慧被定义为一种随着年龄增长而增加的智力形式,称为晶体智力。它涉及到教学、指导、领导团队、识别模式和理解事物的真正意义,并利用这些信息为他人服务。如果选择培养它,智慧可以使你的生活随着年龄的增长而变得更加幸福。

Outlines

00:00

😴 睡眠质量与幸福感

Arthur Brooks教授在哈佛和大西洋月刊上讨论了睡眠与幸福感的关系。他指出,良好的睡眠习惯并不是幸福感的秘诀,但它可以减少不快乐。他解释说,幸福感和不快乐在大脑中由不同的半球处理,因此降低不快乐可以间接提升幸福感。此外,他提到了满足困境,即人们在实现目标后可能会感到抑郁或不确定,这是幸福感的一个谜题。

05:01

🎯 目标实现与幸福感的矛盾

Arthur Brooks讨论了人们在实现目标后可能会经历的抑郁或不确定感,这种现象被称为满足困境。他解释了大脑中的神经递质多巴胺如何影响我们对目标的渴望和实现后的短暂满足感。为了解决这个问题,他建议人们应该通过减少欲望来提高满意度,而不是仅仅增加所拥有的东西。他还强调了感恩的重要性,并建议通过元认知来管理情绪,而不是让情绪控制我们。

10:02

🤔 感恩的实践与情绪管理

Arthur Brooks教授强调了感恩的实践对于提升幸福感的重要性。他解释说,感恩是一种决定,需要通过元认知来实现。他建议学生在每周日晚上列出他们感激的五件事,并在接下来的一周内每天花五分钟回顾这个列表。通过这种方式,人们可以更好地管理自己的情绪,不被情绪所左右,从而在十周内提升15%到25%的幸福感。

🥗 幸福感的三大要素

Arthur Brooks教授定义了幸福感的三大要素:享受、满足和目标。享受不仅仅是快乐,而是有意识的愉悦;满足来自于完成工作后的成就感;目标则是生活中的意义和目标。他强调,如果人们在生活中找到这三个要素的平衡和丰富,他们就会感到幸福。此外,他还讨论了目的感对幸福感的影响,并建议通过回答两个关键问题来找到个人的生活目的。

📉 社交媒体与幸福感的关系

Arthur Brooks教授探讨了社交媒体可能对幸福感产生的负面影响。他比喻社交媒体为社交生活中的垃圾食品,高热量但营养价值低。社交媒体可能导致人们对社交联系的渴望,但缺乏真正的人际接触和情感联系。他建议限制社交媒体的使用时间,并确保它不会替代面对面的友谊。

📈 年龄与幸福感的关系

Arthur Brooks教授分析了年龄对幸福感的影响,并讨论了一个关于不同年龄段平均幸福感的图表。他指出,大多数人在20多岁到50岁之间可能会经历幸福感的轻微下降,但之后幸福感会逐渐上升。他还提到,接受治疗的心理健康问题和物质使用障碍不会影响这一趋势。

🧘‍♂️ 正念与生活体验

Arthur Brooks教授讨论了正念的概念,即活在当下。他指出,人们常常在思考过去或未来,错过了现在的生活。他引用了越南佛教僧侣Thich Nhat Hanh的观点,强调了在日常生活中保持正念的重要性,无论是通过冥想、祈祷还是简单的意识到自己正在做什么。

🧓 智慧与年龄的关系

Arthur Brooks教授讨论了智慧与年龄的关系,指出智慧是随着年龄增长而提高的一种能力,包括教学、指导、领导团队和识别模式。他提到,智慧的培养可以使人们的生活随着年龄的增长而变得更加幸福。

🤝 分享与幸福感的持久

视频的最后,Arthur Brooks教授强调了分享的重要性。他认为,通过思考和采纳新的习惯,人们可以锁定幸福感,而分享则是保持幸福感的关键。他鼓励观众将所学的知识分享出去,这样他们就永远不会失去它。

Mindmap

Keywords

💡幸福感

幸福感是指个体对生活的满意度和积极情绪的体验。在视频中,Arthur Brooks教授提到幸福感并非来自大量的睡眠或良好的睡眠习惯,而是通过减少不快乐来实现。幸福感与不快乐在大脑中由不同的半球处理,这表明它们是独立的情感状态。

💡不快乐

不快乐是指个体经历的负面情绪或状态。视频中提到,不快乐与幸福感在大脑中由不同的区域处理,不快乐是由右脑控制,通常与基本情绪相关。降低不快乐可以提升个体的幸福感。

💡多巴胺

多巴胺是一种神经递质,与奖赏、快感和成瘾有关。在讨论目标实现后的抑郁或不确定性时,Brooks教授提到多巴胺在追求目标时的上升和实现后可能的下降,这可能解释了为什么人们在达到目标后可能会感到空虚。

💡感恩

感恩是一种积极的心理状态,指对生活中好事的感激之情。视频中提到,通过决定感恩,人们可以管理自己的情绪,而不是让情绪控制自己。感恩可以通过元认知实践,如每周日晚上列出感激之事来培养。

💡元认知

元认知是指对自己认知过程的认识和理解。视频中提到,通过元认知,人们可以在前额叶皮层处理情绪,从而决定情绪的意义和应对方式,而不是被动地接受情绪。

💡满意度

满意度是指个体对其生活或特定成就的满足感。Brooks教授在视频中提到,满意度可以通过拥有更多或减少欲望来提高,这是幸福感的一个重要组成部分。

💡目的

目的是个体生活中的意义和方向。视频中提到,目的是幸福感的三个主要成分之一,通过回答“我为什么活着”和“我愿意为什么而死”这两个问题,个体可以找到生活的目的。

💡社交媒体

社交媒体是指通过互联网进行社交互动的平台。视频中提到,社交媒体可能像垃圾食品一样,提供低营养的社交体验,可能导致抑郁和不满足感。建议限制社交媒体的使用,以避免其负面影响。

💡年龄与幸福感

年龄与幸福感的关系在视频中被探讨,指出大多数人在20岁到50岁之间幸福感略有下降,但在50岁之后幸福感会上升。这表明随着年龄的增长,人们对生活的理解和期望可能会改变,从而影响幸福感。

💡智慧

智慧是指个体对生活经验的深刻理解和应用能力。在视频中,智慧与结晶智慧相关,这种智慧随着年龄的增长而提高,包括教导、指导、领导团队和识别模式等能力,有助于提升老年时的幸福感。

💡正念

正念是一种意识到当前时刻并专注于当前活动的心理状态。视频中提到,通过正念,人们可以减少对过去或未来的思考,更多地享受和体验现在,从而提高生活的质量。

Highlights

睡眠规律并非幸福的关键,而是减少不幸福感。

幸福和不幸福在大脑的不同半球处理。

满足感来自于拥有的除以想要的。

感恩可以通过决定感恩来实践,这需要元认知。

感恩可以通过每周日晚上列出感激之事来练习。

幸福是享受、满足和目的的结合。

目的感是幸福的一个重要组成部分。

社交媒体可能引起抑郁,应限制使用时间。

年龄对幸福感的影响呈现U形曲线。

随着年龄增长,人们的期望会逐渐调整。

智慧是随着年龄增长而增加的结晶智慧。

智慧的本质是教导、指导和领导团队。

通过元认知,人们可以管理自己的情绪而不是被情绪管理。

达到目标后可能会经历抑郁或不确定感,这是满足感的困境。

幸福感可以通过减少不幸福感来提升,而不仅仅是增加幸福感。

幸福感的提升需要培养新的习惯和分享幸福。

智慧可以通过培养和分享来使生活更加幸福。

Transcripts

play00:00

I'm Arthur Brooks a professor at Harvard

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University and the happiness columnist

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at the Atlantic I'm here today to answer

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your questions on Twitter this is

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happiness support

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[Music]

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first up at simpi Samantha who just

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found out that the key to happiness is a

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good sleep schedule who knew well the

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secret to happiness is not lots of sleep

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or even a good sleep schedule one of the

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funny things about diet nutrition

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exercise sleep they don't actually bring

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happiness but they do lower unhappiness

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which can be your problem now it sounds

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like I'm splitting hairs right most

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people think that unhappiness is the

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opposite of Happiness it's not they're

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actually processed in different

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hemispheres of the brain happiness on

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one side unhappiness on the other the

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right side is negative basic emotions

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and the way that we know this is because

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the left side of the face which is

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controlled by the right side of the

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brain is more active when we're feeling

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negative emotions so simply Samantha my

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guess is that you know you've got

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someone happiness in your life and look

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we all do some of us have higher

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negative feeling levels than others if

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you've got that and you want some relief

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that's what's going to bring it so it

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won't make you happier it's not the

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secret of happening this but it sure is

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good for having less unhappiness have a

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good night's sleep

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queen of fire

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85. does anyone ever experience

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depression or uncertainty after

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achieving a goal oh yes yes they do this

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is the the real riddle of Happiness this

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is the satisfaction dilemma in a

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nutshell yeah if I get that watch I'm

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gonna love it forever I get that car I

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get that house I get that relationship I

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get that job that money that fill in the

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blank it's gonna be so great and it is

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for a minute now there's neurophysiology

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behind this too there's a neuromodulator

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in the brain called dopamine and you

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want it you work for it you're gonna get

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it dopamine dopamine dopamine you got it

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oh oh

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I guess I need to start again

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here's a it's just a little tiny way to

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think about how to solve that problem

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you I everybody mother nature teaches us

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that to get satisfaction and keep it you

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need to have more that's the wrong model

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your real satisfaction is all the things

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you have divided by all the things that

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you want now you can try to increase

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your satisfaction permanently by having

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more or you can work on the denominator

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of halves divided by once you can work

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on on wanting less that turns out to be

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the right formula Kitt off or Shake It

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Off shake it off I got it Shake It Off

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masks how do I practice gratitude when

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all I feel is sadness frustration and

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confusion back to your question how do I

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feel gratitude you decide to be grateful

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is the bottom line the brain kind of is

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in three parts it's not exactly this way

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but but just for reference there's the

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ancient part that has all your motor

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functions and breathing and brain stem

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and spinal column then you got the

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middle part your limbic system that

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takes signals from the outside world and

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takes a kind of machine language and

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turns it into feelings that happen to

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you and then from there it delivers

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those signals into the neocortex of the

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brain the wrinkly part on the outside of

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your brain the most evolved and

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amazingly human of which is the

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prefrontal cortex a bumper of brain

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tissue right behind your forehead and it

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gets these emotions and you decide what

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they mean and what you're supposed to do

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now a lot of people go through life and

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just kind of a limbic State being

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delivered emotions and if you're a sort

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of a limbic person feeling like you're

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managed by these things kind of hoping

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for the best then your limbic system is

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in charge but that's not your only

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option you can and be in charge yourself

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but what you have to do is to experience

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your emotions in the prefrontal cortex

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of your brain and it's a very simple

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process if you put your mind to it it's

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called metacognition metacognition means

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being aware of your emotions and your

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thinking this is what humans are

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uniquely available to do my dog Chucho

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he's not metacognitive he can't be he

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feels it he does it he sees the cookie

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he eats the cookie but I can actually

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deliver that information to my

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prefrontal cortex and make an executive

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decision about what I'm going to do not

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withstanding my feelings here's what I

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ask my students to do at Harvard I asked

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them to make a gratitude list on Sunday

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nights and make that they make a list of

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the five things they're most grateful

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for that every night during the rest of

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the week take five minutes and look at

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your gratitude list Sundays update your

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list in 10 weeks you're going to be

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between 15 and 25 percent happier

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because you decided to be grateful you

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manage your emotions so they didn't

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manage you and if you do that Game

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Changer being in charge you're never

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going to be the same

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Haze 1136 pretty rabbit as I lay here I

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wonder what is the true meaning of

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happiness happiness is actually a

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combination of three identifiable things

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that we all need and we all want in both

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balance and abundance these are the

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macronutrients of Happiness your

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Thanksgiving dinner is protein

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carbohydrates and fat well your

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happiness is enjoyment satisfaction and

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purpose enjoyment is is not just

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pleasure it's it's pleasure with

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Consciousness it's using your prefrontal

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cortex satisfaction is the joy that you

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get from a job well done it's your

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reward for striving for working for even

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suffering purpose what's that well

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that's really a question of finding

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coherence in your life finding goals in

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your life finding significance in your

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life if you have those three things you

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have happiness George styles

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asks is happiness connected to having a

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purpose purpose is literally one of the

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macronutrients of happiness but it's a

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weird one it's actually hard to figure

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out even what it is if you're feeling

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like life doesn't have enough purpose

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that life doesn't have enough meaning

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answer the following two questions why

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am I alive

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and for what would I be willing to die

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if you don't have an answer to one or

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both of those questions you're going to

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have an existential crisis and you need

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to go in search with your life of an

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answer to those two questions I'm not

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going to tell you what those answers are

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they're different for different people

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so yes does purpose lead to happiness oh

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yeah how do you find your purpose answer

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those two questions find the answer to

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those two questions that's your

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assignment

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can social media cause depression yes so

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it seems here's the basic bottom line

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social media is like the junk food of

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social life if High calories low

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nutrition you're starving for this

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neuropeptide called oxytocin it bonds

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people together you get almost none of

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it when you don't have touch and eye

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contact but you crave more and more

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social contact when you've been on

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social media for so long so you binge it

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it's basically like binging french fries

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and then wondering why you feel crummy

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and you're gaining weight but you're not

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getting your nutrition here's the deal

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if you're going to use social media make

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sure it only ever comes implements your

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in-person relationships and you use it

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very sparingly I'm talking about a total

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of 30 minutes a day across all platforms

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and never ever ever substituting for an

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in-person friendship if it's substitutes

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for any friendship or goes outside of

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those bounds it's going to lower your

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happiness Puja escal got to get the

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middle initial I know how does age

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affect happiness and she encloses a

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graph and what it does is it looks at

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different ages the average happiness

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level in a particular country at a

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particular time and it looks the same

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every place what do you think is going

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to happen let's just say you're in your

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late 20s are you going to be happier

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unhappier in 10 years now most people

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watching me are optimists most people

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think they're going to be happier at

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38th and there were 28th and the reason

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is because they all these have these

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goals and they think that they're going

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to meet their goals most people think

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they're going to get happier as they get

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older and it's going to reach a Max

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point and then it's going to head back

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down again the truth is exactly the

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opposite most people on average they get

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a slight diminution of their happiness

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from their early 20s until they're late

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40s early 50s but it's like eight to

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seven on a one to ten scale this is not

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a huge problem noticeable but not

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horrible then in your early 50s it turns

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around and you start back up again and

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almost everybody actually gets

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increasing happiness from their early

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50s until about 70 except two groups

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people who have unremediated mental

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illness and people have untreated

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substance use disorders so if this is

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you get treated for anxiety and

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depression and mood disorders and get

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treated for addiction all right next

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question comes from

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at laughing all the way

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how do we adjust our expectations as we

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age that's a good one one of the things

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that actually gets better and better and

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better is you age is your expectations

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about the future because you understand

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how things work there's this tyranny

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that people don't understand until

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they're usually a little after 50 years

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old they think that if they get that

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thing that they want they're going to

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get it and they're going to enjoy it and

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and it's never going to go away and then

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it does they also think that if

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something bad happens to them that

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they're going to stay in a bad mood or

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sad or angry or afraid forever here's

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what you learn after 50. nothing lasts

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and it doesn't matter there's a thing in

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that all biologists talk about which is

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homeostasis the tendency of every

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biological process to go back to its

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equilibrium well it works emotionally as

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well your anger your sadness your

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disgust your fear your joy your interest

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those things don't last for good and for

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bad your heart is broken it won't last

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when you figure that out this is power

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and if you harness that every years

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better than the last or it can be next

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up this runs from father poster and I'm

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just going to take a wild guess that

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this is actually not a priest how do I

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transcend

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from my mortal anguish sounds to me like

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Father poster is a little afraid of

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dying but we're all afraid of our own

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version of dying there's a meditation

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that the theravada Buddhists do if you

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go to a monastery a Buddhist Monastery

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in the Southern Tier of Asia especially

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East Asia and Thailand or Vietnam or

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Myanmar you'll find pictures of corpses

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in various states of Decay and that the

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monks have to ponder and they have to

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say that is me and that is me what are

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they doing they're doing what's called

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the Marana Sati death meditation walk

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yourself through that why because you're

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going to accustom yourself to that sort

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of surreal experience of your own death

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as you see it how do I transcend my

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mortal anguish by leaning into my mortal

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anguish you beat fear by by experiencing

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the fear and making it ordinary and it

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will no longer be a ghost and it will no

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longer be a problem

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at third eye pryan because I've been

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working on being present

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to be present means to be here now

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that's the words that Ram Das used to

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talk about we have a special kind of

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language that we put on that now it's

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called being mindful mindfulness is hard

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because we're Time Travelers you're

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thinking about the past you're thinking

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about the future the average person by

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the way spends 30 to 50 of their time

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thinking about the future that's

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unbelievable you're not here now think

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about how much you do that by the way

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you go on vacation you're like I'm gonna

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I'm gonna make some memories so I'm

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gonna take a picture picture picture

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you're thinking about now as if it were

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the past in the future when you're

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looking back on the present that's

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unbelievable time travel we do it all

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the time here's the problem

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you missed your life you missed it you

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know the great Vietnamese Buddhist monk

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tick not Han y'all have to read the

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miracle of mindfulness because it starts

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off with him describing what it's like

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to wash the dishes I'm washing the

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dishes and I'm conscious of washing the

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dishes because if I don't think about

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washing the dishes I will not be present

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in the act of washing the dishes that

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means working on being a mindful person

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maybe it's with meditation maybe it's

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with prayer maybe it's with therapy and

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sitting with your hands folded on your

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lap looking out the window of the train

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saying I am sitting on the train right

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now

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because I don't want to miss my life

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finally shimeri underscore AAA wants to

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know the definition of wisdom

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psychometricians those who study

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different forms of intelligence find

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that we have a thing called fluid

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intelligence early on in our 20s and 30s

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the ability to focus to innovate to to

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solve problems to think quickly people

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tend to Peak in knowledge professions at

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their their ability to solve problems to

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innovate to focus working memory in

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their late 30s but there's another curve

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behind it called crystallized

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intelligence which increases through

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your 40s and 50s and 60s and stays high

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in your 70s and 80s it's the wisdom

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curve the essence of wisdom is teaching

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is mentoring it's leading teams it's

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recognizing patterns it's understanding

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what things really mean in using that

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information in service of other people

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and it gets better and if you choose to

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cultivate it it can make your life as

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happy as it could possibly be as you get

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older that's not only the consolation of

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age that's the promise of wisdom well it

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looks like that's all we've got for

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today those are your questions I hope

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you've learned a lot from this time I

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hope you've enjoyed it I hope you're a

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little bit happier but here's the key

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thing if you really want to lock it in

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here's the secret you got to think about

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it and you gotta adopt new habits in

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your life and most of all here's the

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most important part you got to share it

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go share it then you'll never lose it

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thanks for taking some time with me

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today

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[Music]

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