Do Women Really Want a Masculine Man?

Summary

The video script discusses the importance of recognizing accountability in relationships, suggesting that those who always portray themselves as victims and blame others may not be reliable partners. It emphasizes the need for personal growth and responsibility, advocating for a balance of masculine and feminine traits in a partner. The speaker also touches on the negative aspects of jealousy, control, and oversharing, suggesting that trust and mutual respect are key to a healthy relationship.

Takeaways

• 😐 It's important to be aware that if someone always portrays themselves as a victim and their ex as a villain, it could be a red flag for future relationships.
• 🤔 Accountability is crucial in a relationship; if someone doesn't take responsibility for their actions, it might indicate an inability to be a reliable partner.
• 🌱 Encouraging personal growth and learning from past experiences can help individuals find the positive aspects of a relationship, even if it was not ideal.
• 🧍‍♂️ A balanced man should exhibit both masculine and feminine qualities, such as strength and kindness, rather than being overly passive or androgynous.
• 👗 The feminine aspect in a masculine man should not be confused with external appearances like wearing skirts or pink shirts, but rather with internal qualities like warmth and kindness.
• 👀 Trust is fundamental in a relationship; jealousy and controlling behavior often stem from insecurity and can be detrimental to the partnership.
• 💪 Women may desire a man who is powerful and can take control, but not one who is overpowering and controlling, as this can indicate deeper issues.
• 😶 Oversharing in a relationship can be problematic, as it may signal unresolved childhood trauma or a need for attention, which can overshadow the other person's needs.
• 🤝 In a relationship, both partners should have the opportunity to share and listen to each other; one person dominating the conversation can lead to feelings of being uncared for.
• 📝 The goal of a date should be to get to know the other person, not to reveal everything about oneself, as this can diminish the mystery and excitement of future interactions.

Q & A

What does the speaker suggest about people who always see themselves as victims?

The speaker suggests that if someone always sees themselves as a victim and others as villains, they may project this narrative onto others, including potential partners, which can be detrimental to building a healthy relationship.

Why might someone be considered a 'villain' in a person's story according to the transcript?

Someone might be considered a 'villain' if they don't treat the person the way they want to be treated, or if they don't meet their expectations, even if they are treated well.

What is the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions in a relationship according to the speaker?

Taking responsibility for one's actions is crucial for personal growth and for being a reliable partner. Without accountability, a person may not be able to grow and could potentially become a burden in the relationship.

What does the speaker advise regarding finding positivity in past relationships?

The speaker advises looking for the positive aspects or lessons learned from past relationships, even if they were not good, to frame experiences positively rather than negatively.

What kind of man does the speaker believe a woman typically wants to date?

The speaker believes that a woman typically wants a masculine man who also possesses feminine qualities such as kindness, warmth, and emotional availability, rather than someone who is overly feminine or androgynous.

Why might a woman seek a masculine man instead of a feminine one?

A woman might seek a masculine man to fulfill her need for feminine polarity, as she can get her feminine fulfillment from other sources like her female friends.

What does the speaker mean by 'feminine kindness' in a masculine man?

By 'feminine kindness,' the speaker refers to a masculine man who is emotionally available, kind, and supportive, making others feel safe, seen, and heard.

What is the speaker's view on jealousy in relationships?

The speaker differentiates between healthy concern and controlling jealousy. They suggest that while it's normal to show interest in a partner's whereabouts, being overly controlling or possessive is a sign of insecurity and can be harmful to the relationship.

Why might oversharing in a relationship be problematic?

Oversharing can be problematic because it may prevent the other person from having opportunities to share themselves, making them feel unimportant or as if the conversation is only about the oversharer.

What is the speaker's opinion on the balance between masculine and feminine traits in a relationship?

The speaker believes there should be a balance between masculine and feminine traits, but it should not result in a lack of initiative or emotional depth. A masculine man should have feminine qualities like kindness and warmth, but not to the point of being passive or overly emotional.

What advice does the speaker give about sharing on a date?

The speaker advises that while it's important to share about oneself, the goal of a date should be to get to know the other person. Oversharing can detract from the mystery and excitement of getting to know someone new.

Outlines

00:00

😔 The Perils of Victim Mentality in Relationships

This paragraph discusses the negative impact of always viewing oneself as a victim and one's ex as a villain. It warns that this mindset can lead to new partners being unfairly labeled as villains as well. The speaker advises listening to how individuals talk about their past relationships to gauge their level of accountability. If they fail to take responsibility for their actions, they may not be reliable partners. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of framing past relationships positively, even if they were not good, to learn valuable lessons.

💪 Balancing Masculinity and Femininity in Relationships

The speaker talks about the ideal balance between masculinity and femininity in a partner. They argue against the idea of a partner who is overly feminine or androgynous, suggesting that a balance is key. The desired masculine traits include kindness and warmth, making one feel safe and seen. The speaker clarifies that this does not mean the partner should be overly feminine in terms of appearance or behavior, but rather should exhibit a balance of strength and emotional intelligence. The paragraph also touches on the importance of masculine polarity in a relationship, suggesting that women typically seek a partner who is powerful but not overpowering.

👀 Trust Issues and Jealousy in Relationships

This paragraph addresses the issues of trust and jealousy in relationships. The speaker warns against partners who are overly controlling or jealous, indicating that such behavior stems from insecurity. They emphasize that trust is crucial for a healthy relationship and that a partner who constantly needs to know your whereabouts or what you are doing may be exhibiting signs of insecurity. The speaker also suggests that a relationship built on trust is essential for future stability and family building.

🤔 Oversharing and Attention Seeking in Relationships

The speaker discusses the potential problems associated with oversharing in a relationship. They note that oversharing can indicate unresolved childhood trauma or a need for attention, which can lead to issues in the relationship. The speaker also points out that oversharing by one partner can limit the opportunities for the other partner to share themselves, potentially making the relationship feel one-sided. They advise that while it's important to share about oneself, the goal of a date should be to get to know the other person, not to reveal everything about oneself.

Keywords

💡Victim

A 'victim' is an individual who has suffered from an unfair or unfortunate event or action. In the context of the video, the term is used to describe someone who constantly sees themselves as the subject of mistreatment or wrongdoing by others, which can be indicative of a pattern of behavior that affects their relationships negatively.

💡Accountability

Accountability refers to the responsibility one has for their actions and the consequences of those actions. The script emphasizes the importance of a person taking accountability for their behavior in relationships, suggesting that without it, they are unlikely to grow or be a reliable partner.

💡Responsibility

Similar to 'accountability,' 'responsibility' denotes the duty to act or behave in a particular way. The script uses this term to highlight the need for individuals to own up to their actions, which is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships.

💡Support

'Support' in the video refers to the act of helping someone, either emotionally or practically. It is mentioned as a positive aspect of a relationship where partners can grow together, but only if the person being supported also takes responsibility for their personal development.

💡Communication

Communication is the process of sharing information, feelings, or ideas. The script suggests that while communication is vital in a relationship, it must be coupled with personal responsibility for growth to be effective.

💡Masculine

In the video, 'masculine' refers to traditional male characteristics, such as strength and assertiveness. It is discussed in the context of relationship dynamics, where a balance of masculine and feminine traits is preferred for a healthy partnership.

💡Feminine

'Feminine' denotes qualities typically associated with women, such as gentleness and empathy. The script contrasts this with 'masculine' traits, suggesting that a balance of both is desirable in a man, not just physical appearances or stereotypically feminine behaviors.

💡Trust

Trust is the reliance on the integrity, strength, or ability of a person or thing. The video discusses trust as a fundamental aspect of a relationship, noting that jealousy and controlling behavior can be signs of a lack of trust and insecurity.

💡Insecurity

Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty or anxiety about oneself. In the script, it is mentioned in the context of controlling behavior in relationships, where a person's insecurities may lead them to act possessively or overly concerned with their partner's actions.

💡Oversharing

Oversharing refers to the act of revealing too much personal information, often too soon. The script warns against this behavior, as it can prevent the natural progression of getting to know someone and may indicate deeper issues like attention-seeking.

💡Balance

Balance in the context of the video refers to the equilibrium between different aspects of a relationship or personality traits. It is used to describe the ideal state where masculine and feminine qualities coexist harmoniously, contributing to a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

Highlights

Being consistently a victim and having an ex always portrayed as a villain can lead to you becoming the next villain in their story.

Treating someone well does not guarantee you won't be seen as a villain if they don't take responsibility for their actions.

Accountability and responsibility are crucial early on in determining if someone can be a reliable partner.

Supporting and growing with someone is possible, but it requires them to take responsibility for their personal growth.

Finding positivity in negative experiences, such as a bad relationship, can lead to valuable life lessons.

Balancing masculine and feminine qualities is important, but not in the stereotypical way society might expect.

A masculine man should embody feminine kindness and warmth, making others feel safe and seen.

A feminine woman seeks a masculine man for a sense of fulfillment that she might not get from her female friends.

Jealousy, when misinterpreted as possessiveness, can be a sign of insecurity rather than genuine concern.

Trust is fundamental in a relationship, and controlling behavior stems from insecurity and a lack of trust.

Overpowering and controlling behavior is typically undesirable, except perhaps for those with significant emotional damage.

Oversharing in a woman can indicate deep-seated issues or a need for attention, which can be problematic.

Attention-seeking behavior can be self-serving and may not be conducive to a healthy relationship dynamic.

Oversharing by a man can dominate the conversation, leaving less space for the woman to express herself.

The goal of a first date should be to get to know the other person, not to reveal everything about oneself.

Maintaining a sense of mystery can enhance the appeal of getting to know someone on subsequent dates.

Transcripts

if they're always the victim and their

ex is always the villain everyone's

always out to get them you are going to

be the next villain it does not matter

how wonderful you treat them you are

going to be a villain in their story if

you don't treat them the way they want

to be treated listen to how they talk if

they don't have accountability they

don't take responsibility for their

actions early on this is not someone you

can rely on to be a good

partner yes you can support them and

grow with them them and maybe

communicate but unless they actually

take that responsibility to grow

themselves you're going to be

babysitting for the rest of your life

with this person look man even if your

ex did something horrible to you like

she cheated on you or she stole your

money and disappeared whatever it is

think of the positive that came out of

that situation or that relationship it

may not have been a good relationship

but you can still find the good in it

maybe you learned a valuable lesson the

point is frame it in the positive not in

the negative like I would assume it's

demand that you know everyone is equal

and D cool support your beliefs whatever

but I feel like those are the men that

are more feminine than a lot of women

nowadays and I don't want that I don't

need that not here for it so you don't

want a balanced man who's 50% masculine

and 50% feminine and and

androgynous and doesn't make any moves

on you you don't want that kind of man

no I think there has to be of course a a

feminine and a masculine balance but

it's not the kind of feminine that

people would probably think these days a

masculine man who has that feminine

umin kindness feminine kindness I guess

yeah yeah warmth you know he's not just

an and like has no emotions

exactly he you feel safe with him you

feel like you can be honest with him and

you can I don't know if you need to

break down you can break down with him

around him and he will make you feel

safe and seen and hold that space for

you that's the feminine um the feminine

part I look for in a masculine man

not wearing skirts and wearing pink

shirts I don't know look if she's a

feminine woman then she wants to date a

masculine man she gets that feminine

fulfillment from hanging out with her

female friends from you the guy she's

dating she wants that masculine polarity

jealousy first of all when it's jealous

so you're making other guy it's totally

fine no no no no no no not making up

with another guy like a jealousy meaning

like um more of like where you going

what are you doing why you're there like

you know up your ass yeah and and

control freak

on you he has to know everything where

you are what do you do that's a trust

issue like with the man that's an

insecurity he's insecure he thinks he's

not good enough so he thinks somebody

else is going to snag you yeah you you I

mean if you're in a relationship you

have to trust each other in order to

continue and to have a good relationship

in future and maybe build up family and

Stu women do want a man who's powerful

who can take control but they typically

do not want man that is overpowering and

controlling only a very damaged woman

would want a man like that oversharing

in a woman can sometimes be kind of bad

because that either means extreme

childhood trauma that usually leads to

other

issues

or attention

ponging and I'm an oversharer so I can

say that which one of you uh attention

Hing I I like attention quite a lot it

feeds my ego um but also it's like a

craving feel like I I almost like feel

like I need it

sometimes so that's the oversharing part

as I'm oversharing on

camera first of all if a guy overshares

it usually means the woman doesn't have

as many opportunities to share herself

he's essentially hogging the

conversation which makes her feel like

the guy doesn't care about her that he

just wants to talk about himself plus it

makes the m hisory of finding out more

about him out the window what's the

point of going on a second date she

already knows everything about him so

definitely share about yourself but your

mission going into a date should not be

to reveal everything about yourself it

should be to get to know her

[Music]