How To Stop Worrying - The Fundamentals of Eliminating Worry
Summary
TLDRIn this video by Leo from Actualised.org, he addresses the common issue of worrying and its impact on our lives. He explains that worry is a natural human tendency but often serves as a self-sabotaging behavior. Leo suggests adopting the belief that worry is useless and offers practical tips to manage it, such as focusing on controllable aspects and shifting to 'positive worry'. He emphasizes the importance of awareness and changing one's mindset to prevent worry from creating a negative reality.
Takeaways
- 🧠 Worry is a natural part of the human mind, stemming from our lower self and reptilian brain which constantly look for potential problems.
- 🔄 Worry can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, where negative thinking can lead to negative outcomes, creating a cycle of self-sabotage.
- 🚫 The speaker suggests adopting the belief that worry is entirely useless, as it does not serve any productive purpose and can be detrimental to personal and professional success.
- 🔑 Awareness is key to managing worry; recognizing when you're worrying and understanding that it's a mind game can help in reducing its power over you.
- 🛑 Catching yourself in the act of worrying and consciously choosing to shift your focus to positive outcomes can break the cycle of negative thinking.
- 🌟 Positive worrying involves considering the best-case scenarios instead of the worst, which can lead to a more optimistic and productive mindset.
- 🤔 Reflecting on past worries and realizing that many never materialize can help in recognizing the pattern of unnecessary worry.
- 💭 Thoughts create feelings, so changing your thoughts from negative to positive can significantly impact your emotional state.
- 🌱 Practicing 'positive worrying' for a week can help in developing a new habit of focusing on positive hypotheticals rather than negative ones.
- 📈 The speaker emphasizes the importance of personal development and offers more advanced techniques on actualized.org for managing worry and achieving a positive state of mind.
Q & A
What is the main topic of the video by Leo from Actualised.org?
-The main topic of the video is about how to stop worrying and understand the causes of worrying.
Why does the human mind tend to worry according to the script?
-The human mind tends to worry because the lower self and reptilian brain are always on the lookout for problems, fearing the worst-case scenarios and catastrophizing situations.
What does Leo refer to as the 'gremlin' in our minds?
-The 'gremlin' is a metaphor for the negative, critical voice in our minds that is always judging, criticizing, and casting blame, causing worry and chaos.
How does worry potentially create a self-fulfilling prophecy?
-Worry can create a self-fulfilling prophecy by focusing so much on negative outcomes that one's actions and behaviors inadvertently lead to the feared result.
What is the belief that Leo suggests adopting to combat worry?
-Leo suggests adopting the belief that worry is entirely useless and serves no positive function in one's life.
How does worry affect one's ability to achieve results in life?
-Worry can drain energy, mental resources, willpower, and focus, leading to a lack of resourcefulness, creativity, and perseverance, which are necessary for achieving results.
What is the term used for the practice of thinking positively about hypothetical outcomes instead of negatively?
-The term used for this practice is 'positive worrying' or 'positive hypotheticals'.
Why is positive motivation considered more effective than motivation derived from worry?
-Positive motivation is more effective because it is based on pleasure, ambition, and desire, which are more powerful and sustainable drivers than the pain and fear associated with worry.
What is the first step Leo recommends to start reducing worry?
-The first step Leo recommends is to become more aware of when you are worrying and to be honest with yourself about the nature of your thoughts.
What exercise does Leo propose to help shift from negative to positive thinking?
-Leo proposes an exercise of 'positive worrying' for a week, where one considers only the positive hypothetical outcomes of a situation instead of the negative ones.
Where can viewers find more advanced personal development tips like the ones discussed in the video?
-Viewers can find more advanced personal development tips on Actualised.org and by signing up for Leo's free newsletter.
Outlines
🤔 Understanding the Nature of Worry
Leo from Actualised.org introduces the topic of worry, emphasizing its ubiquity and the role of the human mind in constantly seeking out problems. He explains that the lower self and reptilian brain are always on the lookout for potential issues, leading to a tendency to catastrophize situations. Leo suggests that worry is a mental trap and likens it to a 'gremlin' in one's mind that causes chaos and prevents achieving desired life outcomes. He argues that worry is a self-fulfilling prophecy that can sabotage personal success in various areas, including relationships and business endeavors, by focusing on negative outcomes and attracting them into reality.
🛠️ Tools for Reducing Worry
The script discusses practical strategies for managing worry. Leo suggests that while it's not possible to eliminate worry entirely, one can reduce its frequency and intensity by adopting the belief that worry is useless. He proposes that recognizing the self-sabotaging effects of worry and shifting focus to what can be controlled are key steps. Leo encourages viewers to catch themselves in the act of worrying and to consciously redirect their thoughts to positive outcomes and actions. He highlights the importance of awareness and the need to challenge negative thought patterns, advocating for a shift from negative to positive 'worrying' as a method to harness positive motivation.
🌟 Embracing Positive Worry
In the final paragraph, Leo introduces the concept of 'positive worry,' which involves envisioning positive outcomes instead of negative ones. He recommends a week-long exercise where individuals consciously think about the best possible outcomes in various situations, such as a successful presentation leading to a raise or inspired team members. Leo emphasizes the importance of this mental shift for creating a more positive and productive mindset. He concludes by inviting viewers to engage with Actualised.org for more advanced personal development tips and to sign up for his free newsletter.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Worrying
💡Human Mind
💡Catastrophizing
💡Self-Help
💡Gremlin
💡Self-Sabotage
💡Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
💡Resourcefulness
💡Positive Worrying
💡Awareness
💡Personal Development
Highlights
Introduction to the topic of stopping worrying and its significance.
Explanation of the human mind's natural tendency to worry due to the reptilian brain's problem-seeking behavior.
The idea that worry is a mind game and a trap, often leading to negative outcomes.
The concept of the 'gremlin' in one's mind as a symbol for the constant critic and judge causing worry.
How worry can sabotage life outcomes in areas such as fitness, business, and relationships.
The self-fulfilling prophecy effect of worry and its potential to create negative realities.
The belief that worry is entirely useless and the rationale behind this belief.
The importance of reducing worry episodes and their severity for better mental health.
The argument that worry does not lead to better outcomes and can actually hinder performance.
The strategy of catching oneself in the act of worrying and consciously deciding to stop.
Shifting focus from negative to positive outcomes as a method to combat worry.
The difference between negative worry and 'positive worry' as a technique for changing one's mindset.
A week-long exercise in positive worrying to raise awareness and change habitual thought patterns.
The value of awareness in recognizing and addressing negative thought patterns.
The suggestion to periodically check in with one's feelings and thoughts to identify worry.
The conclusion emphasizing the importance of personal development and further resources available at Actualized.org.
Transcripts
hey this is Leo for actualised org and
in this video we're talking going to
talk about how to stop worrying okay
this is a big one this is a deep topic
that I can barely cover in the this
little quick self-help segment but let's
crack into it I'm going to give you some
practical tips and also how you
understand what is it the cause of your
worrying why are you worrying so much
first thing to understand we all worry
this is just how the human mind works
where natural warriors we're worrying
all the time why because your lower self
and your reptilian brain is always on
the lookout for problems it's always
looking for something that is going to
be on the horizon that you gotta watch
out for there's always a fear lurking
somewhere there's always a worst-case
scenario it's really good at
catastrophizing situations so that is
why you're worrying and you probably
think that this is a good thing if you
are like me and you had a problem with
where I had a problem with wearing so I
still do but at least I understand now
after doing years of personal
development work that the worry is a big
mind game and it's a trap it's like a
sand bit and if you do not understand
this idea that worry is useless then you
are really sucked in to the worry here's
the problem is that your mind is always
going to worry about something it's
always going to five fears and those
fears always going to be projected so
what you got to do is you got to start
to tame that and what that is called is
actually taming your gremlin you
literally have like a gremlin in your
mind
this little devil's advocate that is
criticizing all the time it's judging
all the time it's always casting blame
at you all the time and so this gremlin
is in your mind it's running around in
there and it's causing havoc chaos and
when you're worrying this much you're
not able to get good results in your
life not to mention feel good you
definitely don't feel good because
you're always frantic and anxious but
you're you're probably not getting the
results you want in your life from
fitness to business to to relationships
because this worry is creating
sabotage for you quite simply right you
keep telling yourself that something is
going to happen you focus on it so much
that you actually end up attracting it
to you maybe you're so worried that the
relationship you're in is going to break
up and that you're going to end up alone
that you become so needy in that
relationship that you actually end up
alienating the person that really loved
you and then you actually do end up
alone and it creates a self-fulfilling
prophecy effect and then you say well
look I should have been worrying about
that because it actually happened it was
a real problem when in fact that was
created by your negative thinking how
about business let's say you're starting
a business and you're worried that the
economy is bad and that starting a new
business nowadays is not really possible
it's too hard it's going to require a
lot of work and it's probably going to
fail if you have that kind of thought
and you go in and start a business what
you think is going to happen well your
mind is going to start to focus on all
the challenges that before you and it's
going to start to point fingers and say
look that technique for starting a
business didn't work because like I said
the economy is bad and nobody wants to
buy anything and this this process here
doesn't work either because that it uh
whatever and you just go through and you
keep saying no no no no no look at this
look at that I told you so I know it's
going to fail I just know it's going to
fail and what do you think happens to
your motivation what do you think
happens to your resourcefulness and your
perseverance in making that business
work and creating a business is
something that requires a lot of
resourcefulness a lot of creativity and
a lot of perseverance and if you're
lacking those well you can get a pretty
good idea of what's going to happen but
your mind in its infinite trickiness
will say but that's how it is that's how
reality is that's how the market is it
just is that way businesses are hard to
start and I knew that that was going to
happen so this worry was completely
justified and the fact that it failed
now is not because of the worry it's
because of the reality of the situation
so those are two examples of how you
could be creating self-sabotage with
your worry so what do we do about this
you know is it always the case that
worry has a purpose or it doesn't have a
purpose well I don't know how it really
is but I think for practical purposes to
run your life as effectively as possible
from everything that I researched and
everything that I've experimented with
out myself then here's what you want to
believe you want to hold the belief that
worry is entirely useless there is no
point
nothing empowering about the process of
worrying ever ever ever ever ever you
never worry you never want to worry now
of course it doesn't mean that you're
going to not worry anymore because it's
deeply ingrained in you you cannot beat
that out of yourself even if you tried
what you can do is you can reduce that
and then you could also reduce the
amount of episodes of worrying that you
have so just a simple fact that you
start - from now on believe that worry
is useless is already going to eliminate
some episodes of worry and it's going to
reduce the severity of them so maybe
you're gonna let's say go to work next
week and you've got a big presentation
in front of the boss and you need to
really impress the boss and then the
boss's boss is there you got to really
make a good presentation otherwise well
your mind fills in the blank something
bad is going to happen maybe you can get
fired right you might think well it's
good to think about the fact that I'm
gonna get fired because that motivates
me that charges me up I'm worried but
that worry is creating some sort of
action in me which is actually going to
get me to overcome my procrastination to
work on that project get it done and
that's how done in the past
in the past when I worried about
something that's gotten me to action
that was like a fire under my ass okay I
hear what you're saying I've had that
experience myself but if you didn't
worry if that worry wasn't there I would
argue that you would do equally better
I mean equally as good as if you did
worry or better and in many many cases
you're gonna do better and better by a
lot because what's happening is that
that worry is is creating
self-fulfillment it's creating a it's
creating like a self sabotaging effect
on yourself because the drain
your energy literally your psychic
energy your mental resources your
willpower and your focus is being
drained on this worry and that worry is
not productive in and of itself it might
light a fire under your ass for a short
bit of time but in and of itself it's
not going to actually take the action
that's not going to create the
presentation for yourself it's not so
what you got to say is you got to say
wait a minute okay catch yourself in the
middle of the worrying process because
you're probably gonna be some or in the
middle of it then you gotta say wait a
minute
from now on I thought I believed that
worry is no longer is no longer powering
it doesn't serve any function so I'm
gonna try to just cut it out this
weren't even though I think that it's
going to help it's actually not helping
it would be better if what I did was I
just focused my attention on the things
that I could control things that I could
do how about I just focus on what I
could do for this presentation rather
than worrying on all the worst case
scenarios that will happen if I don't do
what I need to do why don't I just do
them why don't I just start to think
about all the cool stuff that's going to
happen if I do it well right how about
that for change for you pessimists out
there that's probably you probably your
jaw dropped I know for me sometimes that
is that is the case is I'm so caught up
in the worrying and just sometimes I'll
just stop myself and I'll realize what's
happening I'll be in that worry spiral
and I realize what's happening and I'm
like whoa what if I just was thinking
about the flip side of all that instead
of thinking about how my business is
going to fail and nothing's going to
work out what if I think about the fact
that it's going to succeed and things
are going to work out better than I
thought they did
it's like 180 degree shift and it's like
whoa when I start thinking about that
then all the sudden it's like okay
that's really cool well if that's the
case what if I then do this and then
what if I use that strategy that maybe
this other strategy will work and then
maybe I'll get some more money and then
maybe I can do some more advertising and
then maybe I can get some more clients
and then I can make it when I get more
clients I'll get more money and then I
can use that money to create a better
product and then we'll just build on
itself and now you get excited now you
get a vision now you want to go out
there you take
so this is positive motivation versus
the negative motivation that you get
with worry so even though we can create
motivation it's not a really good high
quality type of motivation and besides
you're going to feel awful why would you
want to want why would you want to
motivate yourself with with pain when
you can motivate yourself with pleasure
and ambition and desire much more
powerful right so other ways of stopping
worrying I think the biggest one is to
start to get more awareness around the
fact that you are worrying and be honest
with yourself if you're a constant
worrier and all you do is you think
negative thoughts all the time and you
are always catastrophizing situations
and especially if you worry about stuff
that is out of your control that you
have nothing that you can do about and
especially if you worry about things and
then if you look back in your past you
see that most of stuff that you worry
about doesn't actually pan out for you
it never becomes an issue in the first
place then you really got to admit that
you've got a negative thinking problem
your pessimist and your a constant
worrying I'll constant worrier and if
that's the case then you know that's
where you're at that's a valuable
insight to have now what you got to do
is you got to start a gradual process of
bringing more awareness to your worry
start noticing when you're thinking
negatively stop periodically throughout
your day for just a few minutes and just
notice how are you feeling are you
feeling anxious frustrated anything
negative and then notice what are you
thinking because your thoughts are
creating the feelings if you're always
anxious there's only one reason why you
are only anxious because you are
visualizing very vividly negative things
to yourself that means you're
visualizing yourself bombing the
presentation you're visualizing yourself
bombing the final exam you're
visualizing yourself wanting a poor
destitute on the street in rags you're
visualizing yourself being rejected by
your boyfriend or girlfriend you're
visualizing your marriage crumbling
you're visualizing your kids dying
you're visualizing these very
catastrophic things and that is of
course
creating frustration and negative
feelings inside you how could it not you
got to start to shift out of that and
start to basically do the flip of it
right the opposite and what's the
opposite of worry it's what I call
positive worry other books talk about it
too it's positive worry why don't you
adopt a habit for the next seven days of
positive worrying that means what you do
is you do the same thing as you would if
you were worrying about the situation
but everything you worry about is the
positive of it so that means you're
going to think about that presentation
and your think about it a lot but you
can think about all the amazing stuff
you can think about that you're going to
do better than expected you're gonna
you're gonna think about how maybe
you're going to get a raise what if you
get a raise you're going to consider
hypotheticals and that's kind of how
what worrying is is a consideration of
hypotheticals but improper worrying it's
negative hypotheticals and here you're
going to consider positive hypotheticals
like what if I really a stat
presentation and then I get a raise from
that we know what if what if what if the
people on my team get really inspired by
that presentation what if I actually
learn something about myself in the
process what if what if what if what if
all this positive stuff so start doing
that do that for a week and see how you
feel I think you'll start to notice just
how much worrying you do and that will
create the inner shift you need just to
start to get a handle on it it's going
to take you a while to really get a
solid handle on it but you got to start
somewhere so that's a good place to
start it even if you've got a decent
handle on your worrying you can still
start with this exercise it's still a
really really powerful exercise to do
all right
this is Leo I'm going to be signing off
go ahead leave me your comments please
share this in like this that's why I
release this does these videos for free
and then check out actualized org for
more advanced personal development tips
like this where we talk about how to get
yourself into a positive state of mind
get yourself out of a negative on
resourceful state of mind and other
advanced techniques and I really there's
a lot of different techniques in my
repertoire for how to deal with worry I
can only share one or two of them here
so check out actualize that org and sign
up for my free newsletter there
you
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