Can Happiness Really Be Learned? • The Habits of Happiness • Ep. 10
Summary
TLDRThis script explores the concept that happiness is a skill that can be cultivated through four key qualities: shifting focus from self to others, building trustworthiness, learning to work well with others, and living for something meaningful enough to risk one's life for. It emphasizes the importance of cooperation, consideration, and consistency in relationships, and suggests that true happiness is found in serving others and following God's commands, as illustrated through the story of Epaphroditus and his dedication to serving Paul.
Takeaways
- 😃 Happiness is a skill that can be learned and developed through certain qualities.
- 🔑 The starting point for happiness is shifting the focus away from oneself and caring for the needs of others.
- 💼 Trustworthiness is crucial for happiness; being reliable, consistent, and dependable fosters trust among people.
- 🤝 Learning to work well with others is essential for happiness, including the ability to cooperate and collaborate as part of a team.
- 👪 The importance of family and fellowship is highlighted as a foundation for happiness, suggesting a return to using familial terms in church communities.
- 🛡 Life is described as a battle, and having fellow 'soldiers' to support and encourage each other is vital for happiness.
- 📈 The script emphasizes that happiness increases exponentially with cooperation and consideration of others' needs.
- 🌱 Cultivating a life in common with others, such as in a marriage, requires work and consideration, much like tending to a garden.
- 🎯 To achieve ultimate happiness, one must live for something worth dying for, indicating a deep commitment to a cause greater than oneself.
- 🙏 The 'most dangerous prayer' of 'use me' is presented as the secret to happiness, as it signifies a willingness to serve God in any capacity, even at personal risk.
- 📚 The 'Habits of Happiness Bible Study' is promoted as a tool to help individuals experience biblical habits that lead to true and lasting happiness.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the transcript?
-The main theme of the transcript is learning to be happy by developing certain qualities such as caring for others, being trustworthy, working well with others, and living for something worth dying for.
What is the first quality mentioned for increasing happiness?
-The first quality mentioned is to shift the focus away from oneself and to care about the needs of those around us.
Why is it important to become someone that people trust?
-Becoming someone that people trust is important because it directly correlates with happiness; the more people trust you, the happier you are likely to be.
What is the third quality discussed for achieving happiness?
-The third quality is learning how to work well with others, which includes the skills of being a team member, collaborating, and working together.
What are the two key skills one needs to learn in order to work with others effectively?
-The two key skills are learning to cooperate and being considerate of others, which involves being thoughtful, kind, sympathetic, and understanding.
What does the speaker suggest as a metaphor for life and ministry?
-The speaker suggests three relational metaphors for life and ministry: a family, a fellowship, and a fight.
What is the fourth quality necessary for true happiness according to the transcript?
-The fourth quality is to live for something worth dying for, which means having a purpose greater than oneself.
Why is it said that happiness comes from putting service before security?
-Happiness comes from putting service before security because it involves taking risks in faith, serving others, and doing what is right even when it is inconvenient or uncomfortable.
What is the significance of the story of Epaphroditus in the transcript?
-The story of Epaphroditus illustrates the qualities of being trustworthy, cooperative, and living for something greater than oneself, as he risked his life to deliver an offering to Paul in prison.
What is the 'most dangerous prayer' mentioned in the transcript and why is it considered dangerous?
-The 'most dangerous prayer' is 'Use me,' and it is considered dangerous because it opens oneself up to God's calling, which may involve taking risks and stepping out of one's comfort zone.
What is the final summary of the qualities of the happiest people according to the transcript?
-The happiest people are described as caring, consistent, cooperative, considerate, and courageous.
Outlines
😀 Building Happiness Through Key Qualities
The speaker emphasizes that happiness is a skill that can be acquired by developing certain qualities. They introduce the idea that focusing on oneself is the antithesis of happiness and suggest that caring for others is the starting point. Trustworthiness is highlighted as a critical quality that enhances happiness, with reliability and consistency being its components. The speaker also stresses the importance of learning to work well with others, including the ability to cooperate and collaborate, using the Bible as a reference to illustrate these points. They conclude by urging parents to instill these qualities in their children for a happy life.
👫 The Power of Teamwork and Consideration
This paragraph delves into the importance of teamwork and consideration in fostering happiness. The speaker uses biblical metaphors to describe life as a family, fellowship, and battle, emphasizing the need for small groups where these skills can be learned and practiced. They discuss the significance of cooperation and being considerate of others' needs, using examples from the Bible to illustrate these points. The speaker also connects consideration to marriage, suggesting that a considerate approach can lead to a happier relationship. They conclude by stating that learning to be considerate is not natural and must be cultivated, likening it to gardening, which requires ongoing work and attention.
🛡️ Commitment and Risk for True Happiness
The speaker discusses the necessity of living for something greater than oneself to achieve ultimate happiness. They use the story of Epaphroditus, who risked his life to deliver an offering to Paul in prison, as an example of commitment and sacrifice. The paragraph explores the idea that most people commit to causes that are not enduring, and challenges the audience to consider the longevity and significance of their commitments. The speaker encourages the audience to live for something worth dying for, suggesting that until one has such a purpose, they are merely existing, not truly living. They conclude by asking the audience to reflect on their commitments and whether they are willing to risk their lives for their faith.
🙏 Embracing the Call to Serve
In this paragraph, the speaker continues the discussion on commitment and risk, focusing on the idea of serving God and others, even when it is inconvenient or uncomfortable. They suggest that happiness comes from prioritizing service over personal security and comfort. The speaker invites the audience to pray a 'dangerous prayer,' asking God to use them for His purposes, even if it means stepping out of their comfort zones. They conclude by summarizing the key points of the talk, emphasizing that the happiest people are those who are caring, consistent, cooperative, considerate, and courageous, and they encourage the audience to pray for these qualities.
🕊️ Holiness and the Pursuit of Happiness
The speaker concludes the talk by reiterating that true happiness is found in holiness and living a life that is pleasing to God. They pray for blessings on the audience, asking that they may fulfill their commitments and live a life that reflects God's love. The speaker also mentions a Bible study tool created by Pastor Rick, called 'Habits of Happiness,' which is designed to help individuals experience biblical habits that lead to lasting happiness. They encourage the audience to support the daily hope initiative, which shares the gospel globally, and in return, receive the 'Habits of Happiness' Bible study as a token of gratitude.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Happiness
💡Qualities
💡Shift the focus
💡Trustworthiness
💡Cooperation
💡Consideration
💡Courage
💡Service
💡Commitment
💡Faith
💡Holiness
Highlights
Happiness can be learned and is a quality that can be developed.
Certain qualities can significantly impact one's happiness or unhappiness.
Four important qualities for building happiness in life are discussed.
Shifting focus away from oneself is the starting point for happiness.
Becoming a person others trust is crucial for happiness.
Trustworthiness leads to reliability, consistency, and dependability.
Learning to work well with others is essential for happiness.
Cooperation and collaboration are key skills for working with others.
The importance of teaching children to switch focus, be trustworthy, and work well with others.
Paul uses relational metaphors to describe teamwork in life and ministry.
Life is described as a family, fellowship, and fight, emphasizing the need for support and encouragement.
Small groups are identified as a place to learn familial, fellowship, and fighting spirit.
Being considerate of others is linked to increased happiness.
The importance of cultivating a life in common through consideration.
Commitment to Christ may require risking one's life for a higher cause.
The rarity of individuals who are willing to risk their lives for their faith.
The call to honor those who take risks for the gospel.
Happiness is found by living for something worth dying for.
Jesus' secret of happiness involves giving away one's life for a greater purpose.
The happiest people are caring, consistent, cooperative, considerate, and courageous.
A call to prayer for becoming more like Christ to achieve happiness.
Transcripts
happiness can be learned it is a quality
that you can learn there are certain
qualities that if you learn them your
happiness in life is going to go up
exponentially if you don't have these
qualities in your life your unhappiness
will go up exponentially now you
probably have never thought about this
but if I mention it to you you
automatically know what I'm talking
about because you could instinctively
pick out qualities that cause you to be
happy and qualities that cause you to be
unhappy so what we're going to do this
weekend is look at four very important
qualities you need to build in your life
now happiness is a serious business and
if you really want to be happy then you
need to build these
qualities in your life and the first
thing that you have to learn is this
you're going to have to learn write this
down to shift the focus away from
myself that is the starting point for
all happiness I must shift the
focus away from myself I have to care
about more than just me I've got to care
about the needs of those around me
everything in culture teaches you to
think about you you you you you me me me
me me I I I I I and so I have to
intentionally shift the focus away if I
want to be happy number two the second
thing you're going to need to learn to
be happy is this if you want to be happy
you're going to have to become someone
that people
trust you're going to have to become
someone that people trust now it's
really obvious that the more people
trust you the happier you're going to be
and if people don't trust you you're not
going to be happy if PE if nobody trusts
you you're living a pretty miserable
life so here's another quality you can
learn if you learn to be trustworthy you
learn to be reliable you learn to be
consistent you learn to be dependable
and you develop that quality in your
life you're going to be a whole lot
happier than people who aren't worthy of
trust if you want to be happy you've got
to um become somebody that people trust
here's the third skill that you got to
learn in order to be happy in life and
that is this number three learn how to
work well with
others
and you know what they don't teach you
that
anymore and if parents don't teach their
kids this they may not learn it in
school you must learn how to work well
by the way parents these are four things
you need to teach your kids if you want
your kids to be happy they've got to
learn to switch the focus away from
themselves they've got to learn to
become someone that is trustworthy and
they've got to learn how to work well
with others what am I talking about here
I'm talking about the the skill of being
a team member the skill of
collaboration the skill of working
together if you don't know how to work
with other people you're going to be
unhappy uh much in your life well what
do I need to learn in order to work with
other people you need to learn two
things the Bible says write these down
first learn to
cooperate I need to learn how to
cooperate and that's not something you
automatically do that's one of the goals
of parenting is teaching your children
how to share their toys teaching your
children how to put away the toys
together teaching your children how to
cooperate often with people who are very
different in
personality learn to cooperate and Paul
gives the second guy apatis as an
example of this quality in verse 25 he
says this I send back to you
apatis my brother my fellow worker and
my fellow Soldier Circle those three
terms we're going to come back to it
brother fellow worker and fellow soldier
who is also your messenger whom you sent
to take care of my needs remember this
is the guy that that uh the church in
Philippi sent with an offering a gift of
money financial support to help Paul
while he was in prison in Rome Paul says
he's my brother my fellow worker my
fellow s Soldier he's worked and fought
by my side what is Paul saying here this
guy knows how to be a team member
this guy knows how to work in a group
he's not a Lone Ranger he's not a
primadana he's not a he's not a a uh a
you know uh a Maverick this is a guy who
knows how to work with other people now
I just want to tell you real sinly the
better you learn this skill the happier
you're going to be in life if you don't
know how to work with people different
from you you're in you're in deep deep
guacamole because let me tell you
something most of the world is different
from you and if you don't know how to
work with people who are different from
you then you don't you just shut
yourself off to most of the world now
Paul uses here in this passage three
relational metaphors they they're
teamwork terms and he says my brother my
fellow worker and my fellow Soldier what
is he saying he's saying that
life and Ministry life is a family it's
a fellowship it's a fight it's a family
it's a fellowship and it's a fight it's
family he says he calls him my
brother the church is the family of God
that means every one of you are related
to each other if you know the Lord the
people you're sitting next to are your
brothers and sisters in fact for
thousands of years when people went to
church they used to call each other
brother and sister brother so and so
brother Bob sister Sue brother Tom
sister Sister Janice and and you know
maybe we ought to bring that back cuz
we've kind of lost the attitude of We
Are Family
133 times in the Bible God uses family
terms to refer to the church so we're a
family he says my brother then he says a
fellow we're a fellowship a fellow
worker we're to work together we to
serve together we've been given the same
tasks we we have the same Great
Commission we have the same common goal
we're a family we're a fellowship and
we're fight he says my fellow Soldier
would you agree that life's a
battle would you agree that sometimes
you feel like you're at War yeah and
that forces are against you yeah well he
says you know what it's a battle we all
have the same enemy Satan and we need to
support each other we need to defend
each other we need to encourage each
other and there's a word for that it's
called small
groups where do I learn to be a family a
fellowship and to fight for each other
in a small group you don't learn it in a
big meeting like this you learn it in a
small group we support we defend and we
encourage each other I love what Jesus
said I love this message paraphrase of
one of the Beatitudes Jesus said you're
blessed when you can show people how to
cooperate instead of compete or fight
why if you learn to cooperate with
others your happiness is going to go up
exponentially now not only do I need to
learn to cooperate here's the second one
I need to learn to be consistent
considerate the more considerate you are
of other people in life the happier
you're going to be the more
inconsiderate you are of people in your
life including clerks and people who
serve at fast food place the more
inconsiderate you are of waiters and
waitresses and people who serve you the
more unhappy you're going to be when you
see somebody in a restaurant being
inconsiderate to a waiter or waitress at
that point are they being happy no they
are not they are
unhappy it's because those two things
don't go
together and and he's saying Paul's
saying you got to learn to be thoughtful
you got to learn to be kind sympathetic
and understanding of others and again he
gives epaphroditus as an example verse
26 there in your outline he says now I
must send him that's epaphroditus I'm
must send him back to you because he
longs to see all of you and he's been
worried
about your distress that's called
consideration he's worried about not his
distress worried about your distress
since you heard that he was sick now
notice in this verse we see two examples
of consideration Paul is
considerate of his co-worker concern he
said aaas really is he's he's homesick
he wants to come back home he longs to
see you Paul is considered of his
co-workers concern and apatis is
consider it of the Philippians concern
they had heard that epaphroditus on the
way to Rome had gotten sick and nearly
died and they were afraid their friend
had
died and and the Bible says in the
message he he wants to get back and
reassure you that he's
fine this is a key to happiness the more
considerate you learn to be of other
people's needs other people's doubts
their fears the more considerate you
learn to be as a
husband as a
wife the happier your marriage is going
to be if you are inconsiderate you're
going to have an unhappy marriage Now 1
Corinthians 1:10 says this you must this
is not an option you must get along with
each other you must learn to be
considerate circle the word learn you
must learn to be considerate of one
another cultivating a life in common I
think every marriage ought to learn that
verse we all ought to memorize that one
you must learn to be considerate because
you are about nature not not naturally
considerate and you have to cultivate
Circle that word cultivate a life in
common he's saying it takes work you
know I grow a garden of vegetables every
year and it takes
cultivation they don't just grow on
their own I have to go out and prepare
the soil you know break up the dirt
clots I have to add in the nutrients I
have to water I have to weed read I
cultivate and he's saying it takes work
to cultivate a life in common you know
what the problem with most marriages
today they' stopped
working they've stopped working on the
marriage so the marriage stops
working when you don't work on the
marriage then the marriage doesn't work
that's obvious and a lot of people would
rather give up on a marriage than work
on a marriage he says you got to
cultivate a common life together and
what is it he says it's through
consideration we have to be thoughtful
of the effect of our
words and the effect of our
actions that does not come natural to Me
Maybe it comes natural to you it doesn't
come natural to be I don't naturally
think about how my words are going to
affect you or how my actions are going
to affect
you Paul is an example 1 Corinthians
10:33 he says I don't just do I
like I don't just do what I like or
what's best for me but I do what's best
for everyone so that they may be saved
Paul says I put the conversion of others
before my comfort I put the conversion
their conversion before my
comfort
most people look for happiness in all
the wrong
places you won't find it through money
fame or
power you'll only find real lasting
Happiness by following God's
commands that's why Pastor Rick created
the habits of Happiness Bible
study you'll discover how happiness runs
deeper than any circumstance feeling or
relationship it's a comprehensive study
tool that will help you experience the
biblical habits that lead to true and
Lasting happiness because of God's
unconditional love for
you this Bible study is available only
on daily hope and quantities are limited
when you give a gift to help daily hope
share the gospel with people around the
world we'll send you the habits of
Happiness Bible study to say
[Music]
thanks
now there's the fourth quality if I want
to be happy I've got to learn these
things I've got to learn how to shift
the focus away from me to others I've
got to learn to become the person a
person that people
trust by doing what I say I do keeping
my promises then I got to learn how to
work well with others learning to
cooperate learning to be consider it at
work at home in the neighborhood
whatever and that'll increase my
happiness there's one one and this is a
really big one if I genuinely want to be
happy in life the fourth choice you need
to make to be happy in life is to live
for something worth dying
for until you have that you will not
have ultimate happiness in your life I
must learn to live for something worth
dying for most people are giving first
class allegiance to second class causes
and those causes are betraying them
them I talked to one time to a guy he
said I climbed the ladder of success
when I got to the top I found it was
leaning against the wrong
wall and a lot of times we give big-time
commitment to smalltime
causes that aren't going to last the
question you need to ask yourself that
you're giv all your time all your energy
all your all your thoughts whatever you
think about most you're giv all your
time and energy and money to these
things ask how much is this going to
matter 5 years from today how much is it
going to matter 10 years how much matter
is it going to matter in a thousand
years the best use of your life is to
invest it in that which outlasts
it you need to live for something worth
dying for and you are not ready to live
you're not ready to live to really live
until you know what's worth dying for if
you've never figured that out you're
Coast you're not really living you're
existing you're not ready to live till
you know what's worth dying for now Paul
ends with these words about apatis verse
27 and verse 30 he says indeed talking
about apodus he was very ill and he
almost
died he risked his life that's live for
something worth dying for risked his
life for the work of Christ and he was
at the point of death while trying to do
for me the things you you you my friends
back in in Philippi couldn't do because
you were far
away now let me give you the background
again in this Paul is in prison in
Rome the Philippian church is in Greece
it's 800 miles away okay the Philippian
Church decides to send a care package to
to Paul in prison there are no planes
there are no trains there are no
Automobiles and it's 800 miles and
there's only one way you can get to Rome
walk it's going to be an 800 mile walk
to deliver this offering that the
Philippians have decided to take patis a
member of that church raises his head
I'll do
it I'll do it I'll walk 800 miles
through thick and thin through robbers
thieves battling armies and all kind of
I'll walk 800 miles just to take a gift
from our church to a guy who's in prison
800 miles
away it says he risked his life the
Greek there literally says he Hazard his
life it's a gambling
term epaphroditus is God's Godly
Gambler he gambled his life for the for
Jesus Christ
now on this 800 mile walk to take this
offering to
Rome it doesn't tell us what he got what
kind of disease or what Happ but he got
so sick he nearly
died and that's what everybody was
worried about he he nearly died but in
spite of persistent pain he completes
his mission and he finishes what he
starts now let me ask you two very
personal questions for you this year
2,000 years later later here are my two
questions for you what commitment have
you started that you haven't yet
finished what if edtis in the middle got
sick and just I give up I'm going back
to
Philippi he wouldn't have completed his
mission what commitment have you made
that you need to
keep maybe it's a commitment to your
spouse a commitment you made to your
husband
a commitment you made to your wife that
I'm going to do this I'm going to work
on
this but you
haven't maybe a commitment you made to
one of your children or to a
friend maybe it's I don't know a
commitment you made to
god what have you started that you need
to complete what have you begun you made
a commitment to God and you need to keep
that commitment
you need to finish it you need to be
consistent and you need to be
reliable let me ask a second question is
your commitment to Christ deep
enough to cause you to risk your
life this is why these people Timothy
and apatis are so rare there aren't many
people like this I mean if your church
if Saddleback Church asked you to walk
800 miles to deliver a gift would you do
it
would you do it there are many people
like this guy sure I'll do it I'll go
walk any under miles to take a gift to a
guy in need would you do
that there aren't many people like this
it's rare that's why the Bible says
honor them he says you're to honor
Timothy you're to honor men like this
see most people say well I'll live for
Christ as long as it's convenient but
right now there's a good game on it
excuse
me most people be happy to live for
Christ as long as it's convenient and
it's
comfortable are you willing to live for
Christ at work when it's inconvenient
and it's
uncomfortable well no then you're not
much of a
Christian this is why God says honor
people like
this God says honor those who who take
risks sharing the
gospel God is not finished testing your
faith so get ready you think God's going
to let you just Coast the rest of your
life really you think God's going to say
oh all of the big risks in your life are
behind you now are you kidding
me as long as you're alive God's going
to keep testing you with risky decisions
for his sake to test your
faith God is going to call you to be a
part in some way to play some role of
what he wants to do through this church
I I'm absolutely certain of it or he
wouldn't have called you here and all
I'm asking you to do is to pray this
week say
God the most dangerous prayer in the
world remember it's two words use
me I dare you to pray the most dangerous
prayer in the world use
me I'm afraid to pray that pray it use
me because it is the secret of happiness
happiness you don't know really how to
live until you know what's worth dying
for I want you to write this down the
last thing you write down happiness
comes from putting service before
security happiness comes from putting
service before security God blesses
those who serve him even when it's
inconvenient and
uncomfortable happiness comes from
putting service before security not
doing the safe
thing but doing the thing that stretches
your
faith and if you say God use me he'll
figure out what that is for you and
he'll let you know now we'll end with
Jesus Secret Of Happiness which sums up
what we've looked at this weekend Mark
8:35 Jesus said
this only those who give away their
lives for my sake and for the sake of
the good news will ever know what it
means to really
live only those who give away their
lives live for something worth dying
for for my sake and for the sake of the
good news will ever know what it means
to really live you're just existing
until you have a purpose greater than
yourself to get out of bed for in the
morning now let me summarize the
happiest people in Earth are caring
consistent Cooperative considerate and
courageous it's what we just looked at
they're caring they get the focus off
themselves they're consistent they learn
to be trustworthy they're cooperative
and considerate they know how to work
with other people on a team and they're
courageous they're willing to take risks
in faith let's bow our
heads if you want to be happy I invite
you to pray this prayer with me dear God
I want to be like these
guys I want to learn to be happy I
realize that happiness isn't a matter of
luck it's a matter of
learning that I can
choose to be happy I can make decisions
to be happy I can develop character that
will make me
happy so help me to get the focus off
myself Lord I'm really sick and tired of
looking at
me
help me to become somebody that people
can
trust reliable dependable trustworthy
help me to do what I say I do help me to
keep my
promises and Lord I need to learn how to
get along better with others I need to
learn how to cooperate and I learn need
to learn how to be considerate I need to
learn how to be a team
member how to work with people who are
different from
me I want to be like Paul who said I
don't just do what's best for me what's
best for
everybody if you're married say Lord
help me to to cultivate a life in common
with my
spouse say Lord help me to learn to be
considerate of my spouse and my
kids and Lord help me to live for
something worth dying for I I'm going to
pray the most dangerous prayer right now
Lord use me I don't know what that means
but I'm open and I trust that you'll
show me what you want to do in my life
that will stretch my faith use me the
way you plan not the way somebody else
planned but your plan if you've never
invited Jesus Christ in your life say
Jesus Christ come into my life and save
me and forgive my
sin change me make me the person you
want me to be
father I thank you for these whove
prayed this prayer today we know that
Holiness leads to
happiness that happiness actually comes
from Holiness and as we become more like
you we become more
happy I pray a blessing on every person
here that whatever you've called us to
do we will do whatever commitments we
will we've made we will keep and I pray
this blessing in the name of the father
and the Son and the Holy Spirit
amen most people look for happiness in
all the wrong
places you won't find it through money
fame or
power you'll only find real lasting
Happiness by following God's commands
mans that's why Pastor Rick created the
habits of Happiness Bible
study you'll discover how happiness runs
deeper than any circumstance feeling or
relationship it's a comprehensive study
tool that will help you experience the
biblical habits that lead to true and
Lasting happiness because of God's
unconditional love for
you this Bible study is available only
on daily hope and quantities are limited
when you give a gift to help daily hope
share the gospel with people around the
world we'll send you the habits of
Happiness Bible study to say
[Music]
[Music]
thanks
[Music]
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