ARE YOU FEELING BEHIND IN LIFE? | This Video Will Help
Summary
TLDRThis video addresses the common feeling of being behind in life due to social comparisons, particularly exacerbated by social media. The speaker explains that societal and cultural standards, not religious ones, create undue pressure to achieve certain milestones. By understanding that everyone has unique circumstances and that true success is measured by personal growth and striving to please Allah, viewers can find peace and contentment in their own journey. The video encourages viewers to focus on their individual paths and reminds them that there is no one correct way to live life or attain Jannah.
Takeaways
- 📉 Comparing yourself to others' milestones can make you feel behind in life.
- 💡 Social comparison theory explains how we evaluate ourselves by comparing to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
- 📱 Social media exacerbates feelings of inadequacy due to idealized portrayals of life.
- 🗓️ Cultural and societal standards, along with parental expectations and peer pressure, reinforce the feeling of being behind.
- 🔄 Everyone's life journey is unique; it's unfair to compare different life circumstances.
- 🌟 Islam does not prescribe specific timelines for life events like marriage, children, or career milestones.
- 💪 Embrace your own unique journey and appreciate your individual path.
- 👥 Talking to those you compare yourself to can reveal their hidden struggles and help you feel more content with your life.
- 🙏 Our ultimate purpose is to please Allah, and there are infinite ways to attain Jannah.
- 🛤️ There is no one right way to live life; striving for the highest level of Jannah is what truly matters.
Q & A
Why do people often feel behind in life?
-People often feel behind in life because they compare their accomplishments with others, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
What is the social comparison theory?
-The social comparison theory suggests that we evaluate ourselves by comparing to others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy when we engage in upward comparison.
How has social media impacted feelings of being behind in life?
-Social media has worsened feelings of being behind in life by idealizing portrayals of life, increasing anxiety, depression, and loneliness.
What are some societal pressures that contribute to feeling behind in life?
-Cultural and societal standards, parental expectations, and peer pressure all reinforce the feeling of needing to meet specific milestones, contributing to feeling behind.
Does Islam prescribe specific life milestones like marriage or having children by a certain age?
-No, Islam does not prescribe specific life milestones such as getting married, having children, or graduating by a certain age. These pressures are man-made.
Why is it unfair to compare ourselves to others?
-It is unfair to compare ourselves to others because everyone has unique circumstances and opportunities, making direct comparisons invalid.
How can constant comparison affect our perception of our own lives?
-Constant comparison can lead to missing out on appreciating our own unique journey and opportunities, making us feel ungrateful and dissatisfied.
What should you do when you feel behind in life?
-When feeling behind, talk to the people you're comparing yourself to and understand their full picture. This can help you realize that everyone has their own struggles and unique journey.
What is the ultimate purpose of life according to Islam?
-According to Islam, the ultimate purpose of life is to please Allah, and there is no single prescribed way to achieve this.
Why is it important to remind ourselves that societal standards do not dictate our success?
-It is important because societal standards are man-made and not aligned with the spiritual goals set by Allah, who offers multiple ways to achieve success in life and the hereafter.
Outlines
🏃♀️ Overcoming the Feeling of Being Behind in Life
The speaker reflects on the feeling of being left behind in life due to social comparisons. They share their personal experience of feeling inadequate when comparing themselves to others achieving milestones like marriage, career advancement, and having children. The speaker introduces the concept of 'social comparison theory,' which explains how comparing oneself to others leads to feelings of inadequacy, especially exacerbated by social media. They argue that societal and cultural standards, along with parental expectations and peer pressure, create unnecessary pressure to meet certain life milestones. The speaker emphasizes that in Islam, there is no prescribed timeline for these milestones, and society's pressure should not dictate one's sense of progress. The uniqueness of individual journeys and the idea that creativity stems from these diverse paths are highlighted. The speaker concludes that true fulfillment comes from appreciating one's own journey and not comparing it to others.
🧭 Embracing Your Unique Journey
The speaker discusses how constant comparison to others can make individuals feel bad about their own lives. They share insights from their coaching experience, noting that even those who seem to have perfect lives face their own stresses. A significant tip offered is to engage with the people you compare yourself to, as understanding their full story can help alleviate feelings of inadequacy. The speaker reiterates that life's ultimate purpose, according to Islam, is to please Allah, and this purpose transcends societal standards. They stress that achieving paradise (Jannah) is not dependent on following a specific societal prescription but rather on living a life that pleases Allah. The speaker concludes by encouraging viewers to ask themselves whether they feel behind according to societal standards or in their relationship with Allah, emphasizing that the latter is what truly matters.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Comparison
💡Social Media
💡Cultural and Societal Standards
💡Parental Expectations
💡Islamic Perspective
💡Unique Journey
💡Milestones
💡Stress and Anxiety
💡Gratitude
💡Purpose
Highlights
Watching other people move forward in life can make us feel behind if we are not accomplishing the same milestones.
The habit of comparison, rooted in social comparison theory, leads to feelings of inadequacy.
Social media exacerbates feelings of inadequacy by idealizing portrayals of life.
Cultural and societal standards, along with parental expectations and peer pressure, reinforce the cycle of feeling behind.
Islam does not prescribe specific timelines for life milestones such as marriage, having children, or career progression.
Everyone has their own unique journey, and comparing oneself to others overlooks this individuality.
Creativity and progress stem from people following their own unique paths rather than adhering to a single prescribed life path.
Feeling behind in life often involves comparing different life circumstances, which is unfair and unrealistic.
Every person has their own hidden struggles and sorrows, making comparisons even less valid.
Comparing yourself to others can lead to ungratefulness for your own unique journey and missed opportunities.
A conversation with those you compare yourself to can provide a fuller picture of their life and reduce feelings of inadequacy.
We are on this Earth to please Allah, and there is no single path to achieving this.
Islam provides an equal opportunity for everyone to attain Jannah, regardless of their life circumstances.
In Jannah, the path taken to get there will not matter; what matters is the attainment of Jannah itself.
Striving for the highest level of Jannah and pleasing Allah is what ultimately matters, not societal standards of success.
Transcripts
watching other people move forward in
their life accomplishing big things such
as getting married or moving up in their
career or having children or buying a
house all of that really makes us feel
like we are behind in life if we're not
accomplishing those same things we feel
behind in comparison to these people and
I personally I've been there so many
times and it's made me feel so bad about
myself until I heard this piece of
advice that helped me overcome this
feeling and to finally accept and
realize that I am actually not behind in
life and none of you actually are behind
in life and so in this video we're going
to be talking about what does it even
mean to be behind in life and then what
is that piece of advice that will help
you realize that you are not behind in
life asalam alaykum and welcome back to
my channel where we talk about personal
development through the lens of Islam
and we work to live our most resilient
and purposeful lives so first let's talk
about what does it even mean to be
behind in life so the feeling of being
behind in life actually stems from the
habit of comparison which is a behavior
that's rooted in something called a
social comparison Theory which basically
says that we evaluate ourselves by
comparing to others which then leads to
feelings of inadequacy when we engage in
upward comparison and this tendency has
actually been worsened by social media
where researched by the Royal Society
for public health shows increased
anxiety depression and loneliness due to
idealized portrayals of life and also
studies in computers in human behavior
further link frequent social comparisons
on social media to higher levels of
depression and anxiety so what does that
mean the more you open social media and
watch other people's lives the more you
will begin to hate your own life and on
top of that cultural and societal
standards along with parental
expectations and also peer pressure
reinforce the cycle making us feel
compelled to meet specific Milestones
which if you think about it where did
these Milestones even come from where in
Islam does it say that you must graduate
college by a certain age or you must get
married by a certain age or you must
find a job by a certain age or you must
have children by a certain age and so
and so this is completely man-made Allah
has in no way put pressure on us for
these things there is no perfect
prescription that Allah has prescribed
to us on how to live our life when to
get married when to have kids when to
graduate when to go to college when to
get a job none of that so if our own
religion is not pressuring us to catch
up to this imaginary standard then why
is it that we have allowed Society to
put this type of pressure on us why is
it that we feel so behind in our lives
we constantly compare ourselves to
people who have completely different
lives than us they have completely
different circumstances two siblings
cannot even share the same life so how
can two people with completely different
backgrounds share similar lives and
what's happened is that with all this
comparison and feeling behind in life we
have actually forgotten to appreciate
our own uniqueness and our own Journey
if everyone lived the same life then
we'd have no creativity if everyone went
to college at the same age and they all
graduated at the same age they got
married at the same age had kids at the
same age then imagine we would not have
any type of creativity everyone would
just be following this very
straightforward one path life some of
the biggest things in life have come out
of people who did not follow the
prescription the world the reason why
the world is progressing as fast as it
is is because people are on their own
journey and they're doing their own
thing and as cliche as it sounds you're
actually only in competition with
yourself you cannot compare yourself to
others because because no one has your
unique life for example let's say being
behind in life meant you didn't have
children before the age of 30 okay let's
just say that is cu a lot of people
believe that a lot and I myself believed
that for the longest time as well is
that you are behind in life if you are
not a mother before the age of 30 if
you're a mother after the age of 30 well
you you are late in some way you are
just late I don't know how we came up
with that I don't know how we made that
up but a lot of us walk around believing
that having kids after 30 means you're
late and so if that is the standard if
that's the standard that Society has set
is it fair to compare someone who lost
both their parents and is divorced and
compar them to someone who has healthy
parents and is in a healthy marriage
they both have very different
opportunities of becoming a mother
before the age of 30 it is not fair to
compare both of them to each other and
say one is ahead one is behind no
they're both on their own Journey the
one who is divorced and lost their
parents they're doing something else
with their lives which maybe makes them
ahead in life in their own unique way
and the person who has healthy parents
and is in a marriage and has is having
children they're ahead in their life in
some unique way right there is no
comparison between the two you cannot
say one's behind one's ahead because you
can't compare oranges to Apples right
there's no comparison they're completely
two different fruits and we also have to
remember that every person that you are
comparing yourself to has their own
hidden struggles and their own Sorrows
so when you compare yourself to others
you are in fact being ungrateful for
your own unique journey and you're
missing out on experiencing life to the
fullest because you're too busy
comparing and you're too busy feeling
bad about yourself or feeling behind in
your life and you're not taking
advantage of the opportunities that you
have in the position that you are in
currently and I have spoken to so many
Muslim women through my work of coaching
and I'm telling you from experience that
there is not a single person that I
spoke to that was living a stress
stressfree life even those who are
married young and had children young and
bought a house and have a good career
they still have different types of
stresses in their life and you know a
really big tip that I would actually
give when you're feeling behind in life
and you're comparing yourself to other
people is to go talk to the people that
you're comparing yourself to because I
can almost guarantee when you actually
get the full picture of what their life
is like you will not feel behind
compared to them you will not feel bad
about your life in comparison to them
because you will have the whole picture
and you will say alhamdulillah for my
life and alhamdulillah for their life so
before you feel behind in life ask
yourself in comparison to what and so
the piece of advice that I feel helped
me so much with battling this feeling of
feeling behind in life is that the
reminder that we are in fact solely on
this Earth to please Allah tal there is
no other higher purpose that is the
purpose we are here to win this Dunya so
that our is amazing and Islam has made
winning this Dunya so easy you can win
even on your last day on Earth you could
have messed up your entire life and on
your last day did something that Allah
loved so so much that you got you got
you got you got the highest level of jna
this life is equal game for every single
person on this Earth in terms of getting
the best in a person who never got
married is on equal footing with someone
who has gotten married Allah has given
equal opportunity to everyone to attain
Jenna because there are an infinite
amount of ways to get there is no one
way there is no one prescription and so
when I finally realized that there is no
one way to get Jenna I realize that I am
not behind in life because you may be
behind in terms of the prescription of
society but you are never actually
behind in terms of the prescription of
Allah because there is no prescription
the only prescription that is actually
there that's set by Allah is live a life
that pleases Allah and that's about it
like as long as you're doing that you're
not behind in life because think about
it when you're in Jenna insh we all get
there we're not going to be sitting
there thinking oh man I wish I did this
to get Jenna instead I wish I got
married instead I wish I had kids
instead I wish I had a better career
instead I wish I bought a better house
instead no you're you're literally not
going to care how you got to Jenna at
that point what matters is that you're
there and what level you attained there
that's it and so as long as you are
trying your best to attain the highest
level of Jenna and you're doing your
best then nothing else matters in life
you are not behind in life comparing
yourself to people is not going to help
you because it doesn't matter at the end
of the day what everyone is doing in
their own individual lives as long as
you are taking care of your own
individual life and another thing to
remember is that you do not get Jenna by
your actions you only get it with the
mercy of Allah T so as long as you're
striving for that you're good remind
yourself that you are good you are in a
good place in your life you are not
behind Society does not get to control
what it means to be ahead and what it
means to be behind and there is no age
that is set there is no standard that is
set there is no one correct way to do
life there is not Allah did not give
only one way to get Jenna there are an
infinite amount of ways for a reason so
the next time you feel behind in your
life ask yourself in comparison to what
and also ask yourself are you behind in
life according to Allah or according to
modern day Society so that's all I have
for you in this this video I really hope
that it was helpful and I hope that the
piece of advice that I gave in this
video was as helpful to you as it was
for me and if you enjoyed this video
then please go ahead and subscribe
that'd be awesome and also share in the
comments you know why you feel behind in
life what's bothering you and maybe we
can all help each other kind of get
through this and help each other feel
better about the fact that we're not
behind in life so go ahead and comment
if you feel like that might be
beneficial for you and with that
inshallah I will end the way I always
end which is make sure to make Dua for
someone today you love may Allah grant
you all
[Music]
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