Marriage Separation - Pros And Cons

Summary

This video addresses the complexities of marriage separations, discussing trial separations, permanent separations, and legal separations, and their potential drawbacks. While separations may provide temporary relief, they often hinder couples from resolving underlying issues and can increase the likelihood of divorce. The video stresses the importance of seeking real, effective help from marriage counselors who view the marriage as the client. It also highlights success stories from couples who have attended intensive workshops, emphasizing the need for professional support and careful consideration before deciding to separate.

Takeaways

• 😀 Many couples consider separation when facing marital difficulties, but it's important to recognize that it doesn't always solve the underlying issues.
• 😀 Separation can provide a temporary sense of relief, but it often makes it harder to reconcile and can make the relationship feel more relaxed, potentially hindering efforts to resolve the problems.
• 😀 There are different types of separations in marriages: trial separation, permanent separation, and legal separation. Each comes with its own set of implications and considerations.
• 😀 Research shows that separation increases the likelihood of divorce. For example, 53.6% of people who separate divorce within a year, and that number climbs significantly over time.
• 😀 Instead of separation, it's often better to seek help from qualified professionals to address the issues within the marriage and work toward resolving them together.
• 😀 If there's a risk of harm or danger, separation for safety is necessary. Otherwise, the focus should be on repairing the relationship with help from professionals who see the marriage as the client, not just the individuals.
• 😀 It's important to find a marriage counselor who views the marriage as the client to avoid a situation where one partner may be encouraged to divorce too quickly.
• 😀 The speaker emphasizes that real help is necessary to save a marriage, and they have seen significant success with their intensive three-day workshop, where 75% of couples who attend are able to repair their marriages.
• 😀 Not all counselors or professionals are equipped to handle marriage crises. Choose wisely to ensure that you're getting real, effective help for your relationship.
• 😀 Consider alternatives like workshops or specialized resources, such as a boundaries toolkit, before opting for separation. It may take work, but it’s better to address issues than to just walk away.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the video?

The main topic discussed is the impact of separation in marriages, exploring whether it is a beneficial solution or whether it might make things worse. The speaker highlights the potential negative consequences of separation and suggests seeking real help instead.

What are the different types of separations mentioned?

The video mentions several types of separations: trial separation, permanent separation, and legal separation. Trial separations are temporary and meant to help couples assess their relationship, while permanent and legal separations have more long-term consequences.

What are some negative effects of separation discussed in the video?

Negative effects of separation include emotional relief that might make it harder to reconcile, financial strain from maintaining two households, and difficulties in co-parenting and dealing with children’s needs. The likelihood of divorce also increases after separation.

What does research suggest about the likelihood of divorce after separation?

According to the National Survey of Family Growth, 53.6% of couples who separate will divorce within one year. The likelihood increases to 80% after three years and up to 87% after five years.

Why does the speaker caution against seeing separation as a temporary solution?

The speaker cautions against seeing separation as a temporary solution because, while it might provide initial relief, it often leads to further emotional and logistical challenges that make reconciliation more difficult. It can also lead to a higher likelihood of divorce.

When should separation be considered as a viable option?

Separation should be considered a viable option only when safety is at risk. If there is danger to the individuals or children in the relationship, immediate separation is necessary for protection.

What is recommended instead of separation when facing marital challenges?

Instead of separation, the speaker recommends seeking real help, such as consulting a marriage counselor who sees the marriage as the client, and working on resolving the underlying issues together.

What is the significance of choosing the right marriage counselor?

Choosing the right marriage counselor is crucial because some counselors may recommend separation or divorce too quickly, due to being overwhelmed or focusing on 'easier' cases. A good counselor should view the marriage as the client and aim to help the couple repair their relationship.

What success rates are mentioned for the speaker’s intensive three-day workshop?

The speaker mentions that about 80-90% of couples who attend their intensive three-day workshop, even when one partner has already decided the marriage is over, are able to turn their relationship around and save their marriage.

What resources are offered to couples in need of help, according to the video?

The video offers two resources: the 'Boundaries Toolkit,' which helps individuals set healthy boundaries in relationships, and a toll-free hotline where couples can speak with client representatives to find the right resources for their situation, including information on workshops.