How To Stay Mysterious (Make Her CHASE You)

Summary

The video script narrates the importance of maintaining mystery in relationships to foster attraction and passion. It illustrates the pitfalls of oversharing personal details and the resulting loss of interest from a partner, using the metaphor of a soldier going to war to emphasize the value of absence and the excitement it brings to a relationship. The speaker shares personal anecdotes and advice on creating intrigue and avoiding depolarization, advocating for a dynamic balance between partners to sustain a healthy and passionate connection.

Takeaways

• 🔍 Maintaining mystery in a relationship is crucial for sustaining attraction.
• 🗣️ Over-sharing personal details can reduce attraction by killing mystery.
• 📵 Avoid mundane, overly honest responses to keep the conversation interesting.
• 💭 Women often fantasize about their partners more positively when there is an element of mystery.
• ❓ Not answering every question directly can help maintain an air of mystery.
• 🌟 Being slightly elusive can increase a woman's interest and respect.
• 👫 Familiarity and spending too much time together can lead to depolarization in relationships.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Maintaining a strong, masculine image is important for long-term attraction.
• 🗓️ Historical relationships had built-in periods of separation which maintained passion and excitement.
• 💌 Time apart and maintaining personal missions or challenges can strengthen romantic relationships.

Q & A

Why does Jeffrey lose Jessica's interest during their date?

Jeffrey loses Jessica's interest because he overshares about his life, removing any sense of mystery and causing her to feel less attracted to him.

What advice does Adonis give Jeffrey about maintaining attraction?

Adonis advises Jeffrey to maintain a sense of mystery, as attraction can only be intense when there is some mystery involved.

Why is it important to avoid answering every question a girl asks directly?

Avoiding direct answers maintains a sense of mystery and prevents the conversation from becoming mundane and predictable.

What is the effect of being too familiar with someone in a relationship?

Being too familiar can lead to depolarization, where partners become too similar and lose the initial excitement and attraction.

How does the video suggest men should handle questions about their daily activities?

The video suggests men should give vague or playful answers to maintain mystery, rather than detailing their routine activities.

What is the significance of the 'going to war' metaphor in relationships?

The 'going to war' metaphor highlights the importance of men pursuing challenging missions away from their partners to maintain mystery and keep the relationship dynamic and exciting.

How does familiarity impact the polarity in a relationship?

Familiarity reduces polarity by making partners too similar, which can lead to a lack of sexual attraction and passion over time.

What practical tip does the video give for texting a girl?

The video suggests never answering a girl's question in a way that kills the conversation and instead steering it back to something more engaging or mysterious.

Why is mystery important in both casual and serious relationships?

Mystery keeps the relationship exciting and prevents it from becoming mundane. This is especially crucial in long-term relationships to avoid depolarization and maintain attraction.

What role does fantasy play in a woman's attraction to a man?

Fantasy plays a significant role as women often imagine their idealized version of what a man is doing, which can be more exciting than reality. Maintaining mystery fuels this positive fantasy.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Oversharing in Relationships

The first paragraph discusses the negative impact of oversharing personal information on a date. Jeffrey, the protagonist, shares too much about his life with Jessica during their date, which leads to her losing interest and eventually ghosting him. Adonis explains that the loss of attraction is due to the elimination of mystery, a key element in attraction. Jeffrey realizes his mistake and decides to change his approach, learning from Adonis's advice to maintain an air of mystery.

05:02

🤔 The Art of Mystery in Dating

In the second paragraph, the speaker elaborates on the importance of maintaining mystery in dating. He contrasts the behavior of Jeffrey, who overshared, with that of a more successful man who keeps his activities vague, thus sparking a woman's interest and fantasies. The speaker advises not to answer questions that could lead to mundane or uninteresting conversations, suggesting that ignoring certain questions and changing the subject can intrigue a woman and keep the relationship exciting.

10:03

🏠 The Dangers of Depolarization in Relationships

The third paragraph delves into the concept of depolarization, where a man and a woman become too similar and lose the initial excitement and attraction in their relationship. The speaker argues that spending too much time together and becoming too familiar can be detrimental to a relationship's long-term health. He uses the metaphor of a caveman to illustrate the point that the uncertainty of a man's return from a hunt added to the passion and excitement in early relationships.

15:04

😔 The Consequences of Familiarity

In the fourth paragraph, the speaker continues the discussion on depolarization, emphasizing the negative consequences of familiarity in relationships. He suggests that modern couples' tendency to spend all their time together leads to a loss of mystery and excitement. The speaker contrasts the passionate love of a couple separated by war with the mundane existence of a couple where the man avoids challenges to stay at home, leading to a deterioration of their relationship.

20:04

💔 The Pain of Losing Love Due to Familiarity

The final paragraph concludes with the speaker's personal realization of the importance of maintaining mystery and polarity in relationships. He reflects on his past mistakes of becoming too familiar with his partners, leading to a loss of attraction and passion. The speaker vows to change his approach to love, inspired by the powerful imagery of a soldier going to and returning from war, symbolizing the value of absence and the excitement of reunion in a relationship.

Keywords

💡Mystery

Mystery refers to the unknown or unexplained aspects of a person's life. In the video, maintaining mystery is suggested as a crucial element for sustaining attraction in relationships. Jeffrey's mistake was revealing too much about himself to Jessica, which diminished the mystery and subsequently her interest in him.

💡Attraction

Attraction is the interest or pull one person feels towards another. The video emphasizes that attraction can be intensified by maintaining mystery. Jeffrey's over-sharing led to a loss of attraction from Jessica, highlighting the need to keep some aspects of oneself undisclosed to maintain interest.

💡Depolarization

Depolarization in relationships refers to the diminishing differences between partners, often leading to a lack of excitement. The video suggests that familiarity can cause depolarization, making the relationship feel more like a friendship rather than a romantic partnership. The advice is to avoid becoming too similar or familiar to keep the relationship dynamic.

💡Masculinity

Masculinity is characterized by traits traditionally associated with men, such as strength and assertiveness. The video underscores the importance of maintaining masculinity to keep attraction alive. Being mysterious and not always available is presented as a way to preserve a masculine presence in a relationship.

💡Primal Desires

Primal desires are basic, instinctual needs and drives that humans have. The video suggests that women have primal desires for strong, mysterious men who can protect and provide. Keeping some aspects of life mysterious can play into these primal desires, making a man more attractive.

💡Fantasy

Fantasy involves imagining things that are impossible or improbable. The video mentions that women often fantasize about the men they are attracted to, and keeping certain details of one’s life hidden can enhance these fantasies. Jeffrey’s transparency disrupted Jessica’s ability to fantasize about him, reducing her interest.

💡Familiarity

Familiarity refers to the state of being well known from long or close association. The video argues that too much familiarity can lead to depolarization and loss of attraction. Maintaining some distance or unpredictability can help preserve the excitement in a relationship.

💡Communication

Communication is the act of conveying information and ideas. While generally considered important in relationships, the video suggests that over-communicating personal details can diminish attraction. It advocates for selective communication to keep some mystery alive.

💡Mysteriousness

Mysteriousness is the quality of being difficult to understand or explain. The video promotes mysteriousness as a key factor in maintaining attraction, advising against revealing too much too soon in a relationship. This keeps the other person intrigued and engaged.

💡Attachment Style

Attachment style refers to patterns of behavior in relationships based on early bonding experiences. Jeffrey's mention of having an anxious attachment style contributed to Jessica's loss of interest, as it made him appear too needy and transparent. The video suggests that showing too much vulnerability can be detrimental to maintaining attraction.

Highlights

Jeffrey's oversharing on a date leads to Jessica losing interest, illustrating the importance of maintaining mystery in attraction.

Adonis advises Jeffrey on the error of oversharing personal details too soon, which can diminish attraction by killing the sense of mystery.

The transcript discusses the counterintuitive approach of not answering questions that could lead to mundane conversation, to preserve mystery and intrigue.

The speaker shares personal anecdotes from his youth, highlighting the growth in his understanding of dating dynamics and the importance of not over-texting.

The concept of 'bits' is introduced as a playful and mysterious response to common questions, to avoid revealing mundane activities and maintain allure.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of not revealing too much about one's daily life to keep the relationship exciting and prevent depolarization.

The transcript explains how mystery fuels a woman's fantasies about a man, which can be positively disrupted by mundane revelations about his activities.

The speaker provides practical tips and examples of conversational tactics to maintain an air of mystery and avoid mundane exchanges.

The importance of polarity in relationships is underscored, with the masculine and feminine energies needing to remain distinct to sustain attraction.

The transcript uses the metaphor of a soldier going to war to illustrate the value of absence in intensifying a relationship through the creation of mystery and anticipation.

The concept of depolarization is dissected, showing how too much familiarity can lead to a relationship becoming more friendship-like rather than romantic.

The speaker contrasts the passionate reunion of the soldier and his wife with the potential monotony of a relationship that lacks challenge and absence.

The importance of maintaining individuality and personal missions in a relationship is highlighted to prevent the erosion of romantic feelings over time.

The transcript concludes with a personal vow from the speaker to structure his love life with the lessons learned from the importance of mystery and absence.

A call to action for viewers to support the channel through YouTube memberships is presented, offering a way to engage further with the content creator.

Transcripts

Jeffrey has somehow managed to attract

Jessica and she's coming on a date with

him right now you got this Jeffrey we

all believe in you but then Jeffrey does

something that most guys do he begins to

tell Jessica everything about his life I

work at the shop over there I wake up at

2PM sometimes I have bad mental health

I'm really actually quite lonely I love

to play League of Legends and valerians

and I have the anxious attachment style

Jessica gets less and less attracted to

him as the day goes on and she starts to

even feel a little bit repulsed by him

after the dates she doesn't even reply

to any more of his messages she's just

ghosted him Adonis

I don't want to see is Jeffrey sitting

alone and looking sad Jeffrey my boy

what troubles you I was I was on a date

with Jessica but then when I told her

everything about me she got bored and

left Adonis of course knew what the

issue was she felt unattracted because

you killed all the mystery young Jeffrey

attraction can only be intense when

mystery is involved Jeffrey thought

about what Adonis had told him and

realized where he had gone wrong he told

Jessica everything about his life he

followed all the normal advice that he'd

seen up to this point in his life that

he should open up and talk about his

interests and his hobbies and tell her

everything he will not make the same

mistake again

I want you to Picture This scene I'm 17

almost 18 years old and I'm just getting

a little bit comfortable texting girls

and they're actually replying to me for

the first time in my life I'm about to

go into this update so imagine I've got

a date booked and we're gonna go meet in

town center at a cafe get some coffee

and just walk around and imagine the

date is booked three days from now on

Friday do you think I would have left it

there or do you think younger me would

have been one of those guys maybe like

yourself who would have continued to

keep on texting her so hey uh what are

you doing right now and she just replies

with a one word answer TV Netflix eating

and then a small message after that WBU

like what about you oh yeah she replied

okay and she asked me the question as

well yeah yeah I'm just uh of course I

knew at that point I'm not gonna like

tell her that I'm playing video games or

whatever I was really doing like fapping

or something by the way I'm on page 63

I'll pull up right now I was gonna tell

I said oh you know I'm just I mean I'm

in the gym it's chest day today it's

having that kind of conversation where

you ask her what she's doing and she

asks you what you're doing and you have

this like friendly conversation is that

truly answer this question is that truly

going to increase her attraction into

you do you think that the guy who's

actually good with girls and I'm sorry

to disgust you but maybe the guy who has

been with the girl that you've got a

crush on maybe the guy that she's

currently waiting to text her back and

he's taking a while you know the guy

that your crush is chasing is he texting

her hey here what are you up to I'm just

watching TV like I mean he might send

her like a WYD text like what you're

doing in more of like you know sexual

tone of like what are you doing come

over something we've probably seen this

around you that the guy that the girls

actually go for aren't taking as much of

an interest in them and what's

interesting is that the girls are taking

an interest in these guys and these guys

aren't really ever answering the

question that they ask you know I've got

such a weird piece of advice it's like a

tip that you can follow which sounds so

silly but it works like such a crazy

amount never answer a question of hers

that's gonna kill the conversation so

just quickly for this tip just when a

girl texts you and she says oh hey how

are you the thing is you could be like

99 of other guys and be like yeah a good

and how are you and now you having a

boring stale normal conversation with

her what you can do which sounds so

socially uncalibrated but it works so

much more effectively is that if she

does ask you some kind of question or

she leads the conversation down into a

path which is going to destroy some of

your mysteriousness and it's going to

lead into some boring part of the

conversation so how many brothers and

sisters do you have what you can simply

do is just not reply to that question

take a little bit of time and then just

change the conversation so your text

history might be her saying us do you

have any brothers or sisters you don't

apply for an hour or two and then you

reply with something like let's get

coffee tomorrow it sounds silly and a

lot of guys will never attempt this but

that's maybe because a lot of guys don't

realize just how important it is to be

mysterious to the girl that you want to

attract because let's see it from their

perspective and I'm not talking about

you know what some girls on YouTube or

Tick Tock say that they want from guys

yeah I just want a guy who opens up and

communicates what a girl says especially

in front of a camera or in front of

other people it's not always what she

truly wants a lot of girls will openly

happily with a smile and say yeah I just

want a nice guy and then

so first of all the videos that you've

seen of girls even saying what they want

each sometimes a lot of the times aren't

even truly what they want let's actually

look at it from her Primal brain imagine

a woman as a cavewoman to Primal

animalistic no social conditioning

whatsoever because our brains are

relatively the same as the caveman days

so she has these Primal desires inside

of her what are they well of course she

wants a strong masculine man who can

provide and protect for her and how can

she tell that he is this strong and

masculine man sure she could you know

she could look at you and see okay oh he

is strong he goes to the gym nice nice

but you know one of the greatest assets

one of the best things that happens in a

woman's mind for you that you're

probably ruining with every girl that

you speak to women's Minds have a lot of

fantasy if she likes you she will

fantasize about you and if she does not

know what you're currently doing most of

the time she will fantasize about you

way more positively way better than what

you're actually doing her perspective of

you if she likes you right if you're

some champ who's like she's not replying

to then obviously like this is to help

but if she does have like a little bit

of crush on you maybe if she's met you

for some dates maybe if you've got

kissed her or held a handle you've got

it even more serious and intimate than

that if she does actually like you trust

me when I say that she is fantasizing

about you just through the day and she's

wondering what you're doing in the

Primal caveman days you left the cave

and she's thinking of I was gonna say

the dinosaurs that you were beating up

but I don't think dinosaurs were but you

know she's thinking of like what if he

gets hunted down by a saber-toothed

tiger no no he hit survive yeah he'd

survive what if there's another caveman

who's aggressive no he'd probably win

because I've seen him fight and if we

just translate that to the modern day

and she again the caveat is that she

likes you well then she's thinking wait

what is he doing right now he's finished

work he's not replied just yet is he

with other girls no no he'll just be

with his friends I wonder which friends

he's with maybe he's at the gym building

muscle but what if girls are looking at

him when he's in the gym building muscle

who's he messaging right now and of

course you know these thoughts are kind

of a little bit negative especially for

her you know mental sake but this is

usually the dynamic of a woman who

really really looks up to respects and

values the man that she has in mind she

will fantasize about you and what you're

doing as long as you stay mysterious but

imagine if she was gonna fantasize about

you imagine if she was gonna think

you're that you're doing these amazing

things and then you send her that

dreaded message oh hey what are you up

to I'm just watching TV right now

fantasy destroyed mystery gone oh yeah

he's yeah yeah he's just watching TV

okay yeah fair enough fair enough yeah

I'm watching TV too but just before you

sent that text or maybe you met her in

person and she said oh what did you do

today and you just blindly answer the

question oh yeah so today I woke up at

eight and then I went to the gym and I

did some training and I did this and did

this and this this mystery destroyed so

I want to give you some actual like

practical tips like sentences that I

personally say that you can kind of

maybe don't steal them exactly but you

know make them like your version of them

and I'll give you a disclaimer that

before I'm gonna tell you some stories

where you know I've remained mysterious

and I've said like you know the right

thing to a girl it is gonna sound cringe

when it's like me talking to you on the

camera you know I mean like often times

when I try and give real practical tips

especially about dating and flirting it

always feels kind of cringe and

uncomfortable because I'm not here with

a woman right now if maybe like I

wouldn't do this but like if I recorded

a video of me and my girl flirting then

that would be different so I'm gonna

tell you just logically in a draw dry

sort of way of what I say and somewhat

of how I say it and so you can just kind

of you know grasp an idea but just

understand that it's not going to seem

anywhere near as like good as it

probably would be if it was actually

with you know some woman that I'm

flirting right here right so for example

in 2021 let's say through the Kobe

lockstown uh there's a girl that I

matched with on Tinder she's picking me

up from my place and we're just gonna go

drive and like listen to music so she

picks me up and we're driving over there

and she said oh so what did you do today

and I already know what to kind of

answer because I'm thinking okay I'm not

going to tell her the truth yeah I woke

up at five and then I was you know I'm

on a dopamine detox so I just don't

really consume any bad dopamines well

then I had a cold shower because cold

showers increased opening which is

really good that Andrew huberman said

that it's really good then I brushed my

teeth I I didn't floss in the morning

because I floss at night and you don't

really need obviously I'm not gonna

answer like that even if I did some fun

stuff right so yeah I went for a big run

with a weighted backpack and I then I

set up my gym rings on a trip it's like

it's not that attractive and Nutella so

again this girl asks what did you do

today my answer you know I'm laying back

it sounds crazy oh yeah I was like this

guys I was such a novel male but like

hopefully you can find somebody like

pretending to be way more cooler than I

actually am I'm actually a bit of a geek

but I'm like laying back arms up here

arms up here in the the car so what did

you do today bits and she laughs like

haha bits what what do you mean you did

bits today yeah yeah I did bits today

and then like you know she's like

laughing about it Go and tell me and

then okay boo boo and I grab my phone

and change the song and the the playlist

or whatever boom test passed and it

sounds silly and you'll probably

thinking about I can't reply to a girl

when she says what did you do today and

I just say bits that's like at least my

vibe that's worked for me is like an

answer with like a very short sentence

of one word let's give you another one

with the same question okay what did you

do today if you answer this question

honestly that's a mystery killer oh yeah

today okay so we know we're not gonna

answer it directly but she says what did

you do today and you look her and say

yes I don't know you just uh you just

went to work and just look at it and

just give her like a little grin

what are you laughing about what what

did you do whoa nice now you're getting

something because if you just answered

it yeah I went to work yeah I work at

that show it she's oh okay yeah fair

enough and yeah yeah and then you say oh

what did you do oh yeah yeah I just went

on Netflix but you can literally just

look into her eyes and just say yes and

whatever she guesses just keep looking

it just almost laugh as if she's totally

oblivious to what you really did like

she's so off just that she's gonna be

thinking about 50 different things that

you did today that's powerful and this

is a very very specific example that I

can think of right now of like a broad

personality like style change that you

could make of becoming more mysterious

but hopefully you can see what I'm

getting at here but you might think wait

Ham's okay this could maybe work with

some broken Western women that I met on

Tinder two years ago it's okay fair

enough but this wouldn't really work

with my wife though no my brother this

is 10 times more important to use on

your wife a hundred times more important

this is where guys get messed up guys

think that these like tips that you're

learning here are only for you know

casual degenerate stuff and yeah it's

you know I just want to be totally

honest honest and comfortable with you

know my woman like you know when I

really get married then I'm just gonna

be normal with her no no you have to

understand that especially with a

marriage or the mother of your children

or a serious relationship the girl that

you're totally in love with especially

with her that's when these small things

matter the most because you want to know

that probably the number one thing that

destroys relationships you know the

statistics from like scientists and

researchers say it's like Financial

issues and all this stuff and stress

it's not there's something that they

can't measure but there is one absolute

killer of relationships and it's

probably ended all of your previous

relationships all of mine everyone that

you see around you it starts with the

same core problem and then you know it's

like oh the financial stress is annoying

us now we're going to get a divorce okay

fine but there's one main issue that

causes all relationships to break and

it's depolarization depolarization is

when a man and a woman start to become

too similar equals and soon enough

they're more like friends than they are

lovers because when you met you were so

mysterious to her and she was so

exciting for you there was so much

energy so much newness to your

relationship and it is extremely rare

extremely rare to carry this on for the

long term imagine that first date that

you had with you know a girl who becomes

your girlfriend or your wife and how

nerve-wracking it was and how like

exhilarating it was to be in each

other's companies and you probably

didn't even have any thoughts in your

mind is it like that once you've spent a

hundred hours five hundred a thousand

hours together depolarization is when a

masculine man and a feminine woman start

to become too close to each other and

sometimes it even goes the opposite way

and the masculine man starts to become a

lot more feminine the woman becomes a

lot more masculine to stay polarized is

such a beautiful thing because that is

where you stay as a masculine mysterious

strong man and she stays as a beautiful

feminine woman and this is so rare you

know why because this this is very very

important honestly I hope you know this

sounds like a bit you know weird or just

trust me I'll explain now you know why

this depolarization happens why couples

get depolarized familiarity too much

time together in the modern day it's

seen as so normal to have this desire to

spend all day with your partner that

seems like healthy and it seems like a

good thing right until you start to

compare it to every relationship of

every couple up until 100 years ago the

man used to be out of the house away

from his woman for hours and hours and

hours sometimes days and days and weeks

and weeks and months and months and

months I like to relate everything back

to our natural like caveman days like

you know evolutionary stuff where you

just sat in the in the cave with her

every single day just looking at the

cave painting like oh just like friends

no because you needed to go get food so

you got off you trained every day you

became more and more athletic and then

you went out on the hunt and she

genuinely genuinely did not know if you

were coming back and you were gone for

maybe hours sometimes sometimes days

think about that right now I know it's

like you know it seems silly caveman but

just really think okay just genuinely

think if that was reality if we were

cavemen you're in the cave right now

with your woman you can't even like

speak English but you can communicate in

the language of love and it is wild and

passionate that the times that you have

together animals and it's time for you

to go hunt and she's dreading this

moment because she's terrified she

doesn't know what's gonna happen but she

believes in you and you go you leave

that cave and she's just sat there a

little bit anxious maybe a lot anxious

just waiting for you and imagine that

moment after she's been waiting and

waiting and waiting and waiting and

waiting scared by yourself that you

return with a massive bore on your

shoulders imagine how your woman would

look at you then imagine you know that

instant presence of love as soon as

you'd look eyes into her how different

would your energy be how passionate

would you be with your woman at that

kind of moment when you've just

disappeared for hours maybe days

genuinely think she's like literally

imagine that she has literally woken up

when about the entire day and gone to

sleep when you went out for the hunt she

has no idea where you are she has hope

that you're coming back but she isn't

actually that certain and then you

return Victorious do you think you're

gonna feel depolarized after that do you

think that yeah you're just going to go

sit down and watch some Netflix or some

cave painting after that or do you think

you're gonna drop the ball down and walk

straight over there and pass

okay obviously it's like a silly example

but the modern day isn't that different

because you could go to war

metaphorically you could leave that

house you could leave the area you could

go and do something exciting where she

is waiting for you it's destroyed this

familiarity between you two it has

skyrocketed the mysteriousness inside of

you and then you come back and you are

so polarized so different from each

other so much energy and passion built

up inside of you but that may be one of

the best things for your relationship

ever and so if you compare what you've

just imagined of this like caveman

relationship so how couples these days

are when they live together and they go

to sleep next to each other reading the

same book and then they wake up and they

kiss each other and then they're

watching Netflix and it sounds so cute

it's so cute isn't it but then they do

that tomorrow as well and the day after

and the day after and yeah okay the man

goes to work and maybe the woman does

too but the woman kind of knows yeah

he'll be home at 6 30 and sometimes he's

home at 6 45 because oh well with the

traffic today but they are very familiar

with each other and depolarization stems

from familiarity where is ask yourself

this question where is the mystery of

the modern man imagine you were a woman

and you dated like a normal man maybe

like yourself what do you actually think

that you were mysterious would you get

sexually excited for yourself would you

spend any amount of time thinking what

is he doing is he with other women right

now is he like working on some big thing

or in his business is he is he training

right now or would you just think yep

yep 11 pm that's usually when he's

playing legal oh look he's online

playing League of Legends right now I'm

telling you all this because I have made

so many mistakes in relationships and

this is the most costly of all it's that

I became in such a weird way too close

to the girl that I was dating too

familiar I spent too much time with her

I talked to her every single day and now

these things seem like normal things

everyone wants this doesn't they like in

your mind you must understand in your

mind you have these beliefs that this is

exactly the normal thing to want for in

a relationship is to talk every day and

to spend a bunch of time together and to

have sex every day it seems like a

really good idea in the short term and

then you realize that actually this is

deteriorating the long-term survivorship

of your religion [ __ ] because now I have

a slightly different attitude to

relationships a different Dynamic if

you're interested in my personal life if

not like I don't know if this is going

to be valuable this part of the video

now so you can click away if you want

but if you are interested in my personal

life there are two pictures that I'd

really like to show you which moved me

as soon as I saw them my best friend Sam

showed me both of these the first

picture is a soldier on the train

kissing his wife goodbye just before he

goes to war and you know there's the

quote like a picture is like a thousand

words I think you can see the Thousand

Words straight away he's going to war

his wife's gonna be neurotically anxious

so worried not knowing what's gonna

happen he's filled inside with so much

excitement and nervousness and love and

so many different emotions so intense

and as much as she doesn't want him to

go she actually needs them to go because

it is this concept of going to war that

is I think one of the most important for

normal healthy long-term relationship of

a masculine man and a feminine woman and

we don't have this anymore do we we

don't have this concept of like a guy

going to war these days like of some

countries are anymore but I'm saying

like they're on the modern people in

like a country that's not actually water

torn there's no such thing as going to

war yeah okay I'm going to work honey

I'll be back in nine hours imagine all

that they're both gonna be feeling right

now imagine even just leading up to this

picture being taken okay they know that

June 11th he's gonna be going off to war

you know taking the train away to go to

the training camp imagine the weeks

maybe even months before that in that

woman's mind and heart she feels the

coming pain of their separation and so

she is like one of her best behavior so

is he and they're so into each other

because their time together is actually

limited and that seems like a bad thing

but that is so healthy their time

together is limited because he is going

to war next month do you think they're

going to be spending time they're

reading the newspaper watching the

television together especially imagine

the last few days imagine how precious

those last few days would have been for

this couple of course anxious and of

course nervousness for both of them but

imagine how much love would have been in

the room and how passionate they would

have been in those last few hours

compare that to another couple of this

exact same moment that you don't see

there's you know this other fictional

character that's not in this picture of

the guy on the train okay this other guy

right and he's got a wife as well and he

finds a way to not need to go to war

he's pretended to break his finger or

figure sickness or doctor's note or

something right he's the lucky one

because he gets to stay home with his

wife and they're going to have such an

amazing time on day imagine they're

Dynamic right now and how passionate

that couple would have been to this

couple on the train this couple on the

trim it is they're limited time together

so it's going to be special and yet that

couple if I'm imagining some overweight

guy I can't help but think yep that the

kind of guy who wouldn't want to go to

war is probably going to be overweight

he's you know done something he's going

to stay at home and even his wife is

saying it's a good thing oh yeah you

know I'm so glad that you're you're

staying here and then they have an

argument in a few days and then his wife

seems to respect him a little less and

I'm sorry for being vulgar but his wife

seems to be drier physically that's

never happened before and she doesn't

really seem to be a sexually submissive

as she used to be but you know that's

all minor like yeah I get to escape War

I'm really lucky and maybe they don't

divorce or anything you know times with

different back then but their

relationship is going downhill they're

getting more familiar with each other

he's lost all mysteriousness because he

has to you know he has to stay at home

pretend that he's disabled or something

so he doesn't want to go to war and it's

like life just sees him every you know

she walks past every single day he's

just there reading the newspaper think

about his existence is that a good I

mean yeah he saved himself you know he

oh yeah you're definitely safe from war

nights but even inside of him he's

thinking okay I don't have to go to war

I'm getting kind of fat my wife doesn't

respect me anymore I'm bored she doesn't

sleep with me like she used to anymore I

hate how she talks to our neighbor a

cooking's been worse recently she's

going back to her mom's town for three

days I don't know if she's gonna like

speak to any ex-boyfriends like I can't

even trust her anymore you see

abandoning your duty to go to war as a

man whether this is like literally or

just metaphorically you know doing

something very difficult where you're

away from your woman for days or weeks

at a time at least the resentment it

leads to this destruction of

mysteriousness which he just sees you

all the time and this is what most guys

live in like the modern day equivalence

of the guy who refuses to go to war so

he potentially got a disability now he

just sits at home every day most guys

are that guy most guys maybe they go to

work for a few hours per day and then

they come home and they just hop on

their PC next to the girl yeah I've got

a gamer girlfriend things are so amazing

guys we we haven't had sex in the last

three days and you're thinking oh no no

but that's not going to be me though

things would be really really different

bro everyone thinks that because when

you live in that kind of environment

when you spend so much time with your

woman and you become depolarized and

familiar with each other the mystery

goes but let's go back to that previous

couple the one who was saying goodbye at

the train station and he goes to war and

she goes back home and she's worried

she's worried she's worried she's

worried she's worried he's in the

trenches right now metaphorically and

physically and she's still worried she's

thinking about him 24 7. everything she

does from making a cup of tea to

gardening to spending time with her

mother is colored in the light of

missing him missing his love everything

you see this polarity This Love This

passion building up even though they're

not next to each other and then she gets

a letter it's a short and sweet letter

from him he's safe he loves us so much

he can't wait to come back home and see

her beautiful smile and she's tearing

down on the page she loves him as well

and she's writing one back imagine how

beautiful that experience is and then

imagine this goes back and forth for a

while and her heart jumps every time she

just simply sees his name on an envelope

and eventually the war is won and then

we see the second picture where he has

returned back into the city they're not

even waiting till they get back home to

passionately kiss to reunite do you

think this couple right here are going

to be familiar with each other or

depolarized do you think they're going

to go home and stick Netflix on now and

maybe play some video games together

think about how passionate they're gonna

be because he has been mysterious

because he has went away the value of

being mysterious is so high and you're

beginning to see it now and it seems a

bit crazy the way Hamza saying that we

should go sacrifice our lives for our

country obviously not I'm using this as

an example just for like I'm not saying

oh yeah go go sign up for the draft bro

I don't think you sign up to drafts I

think you just go anywhere but the point

is go to war disappear destroy the

familiarity that you have with your

woman it will be one of the best things

that you ever do I've made a vow to

myself that these two pictures the one

that he's going to war and the one that

he's coming back from this is how I

would like to structure my love life

from now on I'm making this video

because I have been the other guy I have

been the guy who came up with some kind

of excuse so that he didn't need to go

and do that hard thing that hard my

challenge so that he could sit at home

in a state of comfort with his woman

because that's you know it seemed right

and it seemed like that's what she

wanted and that man or me well I've seen

the destruction of the love of

relationships that meant a lot to me

because I became that guy who was just

sat at home on Netflix on video games

like at one point I had a gamer girl

girlfriend and we're playing games next

to each other Dying Light in Minecraft

and RuneScape and that seems like every

guy's fantasy trust me it might be every

guy's fantasy but it was my hellhole

because when you see your woman

physically get less sexually interested

into you that is one of the most painful

things as a guy you know a mineral sex

obsessed but seriously you know a girl

could say something horrible to you

disrespectful you know and okay no

that's unacceptable right but the things

that she doesn't say but she can't help

but do she can't help but sometimes not

be as like submissive as she used to be

in beautiful and supportive and

especially the sexual things that that

makes a man insecure that messes with a

man's mind and so when you live like I

have done for a large time with you know

like women I've been with and you've

become that guy who's just so familiar

who's not mysterious and little you see

the destruction of the love that once

was the most beautiful thing in your

life it happens because as a man you

need to disappear you need to have some

kind of Mission To Go full focus into

with all these thoughts and nervousness

and anxiety and all this emotion and

thoughts and everything you need to be

willing to drop it all to go pursue

something so incredibly difficult that

requires everything from you including

some time away from your woman and that

in such a weird way is one of the most

attractive things that you can do as a

man once she's in love with you and you

need to disappear for a few days for a

business meeting or for some athletic

competition you get to live like those

two pictures go to I don't really have

anything to sell you on this channel

like the work than the videos I do or

for free on YouTube and there's some

products that I do have but I don't

really you know push them to you or

anything what we've just started is

YouTube channel membership so if you

want like an emoji next to your name

when you comment there's like a picture

of Jeffrey a little picture of Adonis if

you want that I'm pretty sure it's like

five dollars or something you can just

have a look it'll be linked in the

description it'll pop up as like a card

right now click on watch this video

right now I'll do the hard work

especially when you don't feel like it

mwah