Body Language of Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abuser

Summary

The video script delves into the subtle yet observable signs of narcissistic abuse. It highlights behaviors such as haughty body language, entitlement, idealization followed by devaluation, and a facade of membership. Abusers are characterized by their excessive self-importance, manipulative tendencies, and lack of empathy. The script emphasizes the importance of recognizing these signals to avoid the emotional turmoil and hurt caused by such individuals. It also touches on the abuser's self-deprecating humor, grandiosity, impatience, and their tendency to mistreat those closest to them while maintaining a composed facade to the outside world.

Takeaways

• 🧐 Abusers often exhibit haughty and arrogant body language, implying superiority and maintaining a distance from others.
• 🤔 Abusers tend to show entitlement, demanding special treatment and showing impatience when not immediately gratified.
• 🎭 They frequently shift responsibility for their failures and choices onto others, avoiding accountability for their actions.
• 🌟 Abusers idealize and then devalue others, using flattery and admiration to manipulate and control interactions.
• 🔍 They often adopt a 'membership posture,' seeking admiration for their perceived uniqueness while maintaining an outsider stance.
• 💬 Abusers prefer superficial showmanship over substance, often exaggerating their intelligence or accomplishments.
• 🗣️ Their speech is characterized by high pronoun density, with excessive self-reference and boastful descriptions.
• 🤷‍♂️ Abusers are often uninterested in others, showing disdain or anger if they feel their time is being wasted.
• 😡 They react with rage or detachment when confronted with their emotions or required to delve into their motives and needs.
• 🕊️ Despite a serious demeanor, abusers may possess a sharp sense of humor, but it is rarely self-deprecating or empathetic.
• 🏆 Abusers view themselves as on a grand mission with cosmic importance, often inflating their achievements and fantasies.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script is identifying and understanding the behavior and characteristics of narcissistic abusers.

What are the subtle signals that narcissistic abusers emit according to the script?

Narcissistic abusers emit subtle signals through their body language, such as haughty and arrogant postures, maintaining piercing eye contact, and keeping personal territory around them.

How do narcissistic abusers behave in social interactions?

In social interactions, narcissistic abusers often adopt a condescending attitude, prefer to remain observers or 'lone wolves,' and may feign gregariousness without genuine social mingling.

What is an entitlement marker according to the script?

An entitlement marker is a behavior where abusers immediately ask for special treatment, such as not waiting their turn, wanting to talk directly to authority figures, and expecting custom-tailored arrangements.

How do narcissistic abusers handle responsibility for their actions?

Narcissistic abusers tend to shift responsibility for their own needs, failures, and choices onto others or the world at large, often using sentences like 'you made me do it.'

What is the pattern of idealization followed by devaluation as described in the script?

The pattern of idealization followed by devaluation refers to the behavior where abusers excessively flatter, admire, or applaud their targets, and when rebuffed, they sulk, abuse, and humiliate the same targets.

How do abusers maintain their stance as outsiders while trying to belong?

Abusers maintain their stance as outsiders by seeking admiration for their disability to integrate, using obscure professional terms to show off their intelligence, and preferring show-off to substance.

What is meant by the term 'pronoun density' in the context of the script?

Pronoun density refers to the excessive use of the pronouns 'I' and 'mine' by abusers in their speech, indicating self-focus and a tendency to describe themselves as extraordinarily intelligent, rich, or creative.

How do narcissistic abusers use language to distance themselves from others?

Narcissistic abusers use emotion-free language, talk excessively about themselves, and show little interest or reciprocity in others' lives, often acting disdainful or angry if they feel their time is being intruded upon.

What are some common behaviors of abusers when they feel their weaknesses are exposed?

When abusers feel their weaknesses are exposed, they may react with rage, detachment, or sadistic humor, and they often distance themselves from their emotions and loved ones by alienating and hurting them.

How do narcissistic abusers perceive their own importance and mission in life?

Narcissistic abusers perceive themselves as being on a constant mission of cosmic importance and global consequence, often having grandiose fantasies and impossible schemes that they believe are of great significance.

How do abusers treat those who are not intimately close to them compared to their nearest and dearest?

Abusers mistreat their closest and nearest, such as family members and children, while appearing composed, rational, and functioning to the rest of the world, effectively casting a veil of secrecy over their dysfunction and misbehavior.

Outlines

00:00

👑 Narcissistic Abusers' Behavior and Tactics

This paragraph discusses the subtle and observable signs of narcissistic abusers. It highlights their haughty and arrogant body language, which includes a posture that exudes superiority and a tendency to maintain piercing eye contact while keeping personal space. Abusers often demand special treatment and show entitlement, expecting preferential arrangements and showing disdain for those they deem inferior. They may idealize or devalue others, and their politeness is often superficial, only present when seeking a new victim or collaborator. Abusers also adopt a membership posture, seeking admiration for their supposed uniqueness while maintaining an outsider stance. They prefer showmanship over substance and are often shallow, pretending to be knowledgeable in various fields without genuine expertise.

05:02

🎭 The Facade of the Narcissistic Abuser

The second paragraph delves into the exaggerated self-image of narcissistic abusers, who constantly brag and boast about their intelligence, wealth, and success, often using a high pronoun density in their speech. Their biographies are filled with grand but implausible achievements that do not align with their actual conditions. Abusers are prone to name-dropping and appropriating others' experiences as their own. They tend to be self-focused, using emotion-free language and showing little interest in others unless it serves their narrative. Abusers are impatient and easily bored, requiring constant attention and often intellectualizing or rationalizing their actions. They may react violently when challenged and distance themselves from their emotions and loved ones, often using humor that is scathing and cynical but never self-deprecating. Abusers perceive themselves as on a mission of cosmic importance and are easily insulted, interpreting even innocuous remarks as belittling or coercive.

10:02

🤔 The Abuser's Social Disguise and Dysfunction

The final paragraph examines the social behavior of abusers, who, despite their lack of empathy and sense of entitlement, do not appear as social misfits due to their selective mistreatment of close ones. Abusers are adept at maintaining a facade of secrecy, often with the help of their victims, who may cover up their dysfunction and misbehavior. They are skilled at deception, portraying themselves as composed and rational to the outside world. Abusers may engage in reckless and self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse or reckless driving, and often have an inappropriate sense of humor, finding obnoxious or heinous acts funny or gratifying. They may also be sexually deviant, enjoying torment and hurting others, often with a sadistic twist.

Keywords

💡Narcissism

Narcissism refers to a personality trait characterized by self-centeredness, vanity, and a lack of empathy for others. In the context of the video, it is the central theme, as the author discusses how narcissists subtly signal their behavior through body language and attitudes. The script mentions 'malignant self-love narcissism, revisited,' indicating that the video delves into the darker aspects of narcissistic behavior.

💡Abuser

An abuser is someone who perpetrates harmful or abusive behavior towards others. The script frequently refers to abusers, describing their actions and attitudes as indicative of narcissistic tendencies. For example, the video mentions how abusers 'adopt a physical posture which implies and exudes an air of superiority,' demonstrating their abusive nature through non-verbal cues.

💡Body Language

Body language encompasses the non-verbal cues, such as posture, gestures, and eye contact, that individuals use to communicate. The video emphasizes the importance of learning to read an abuser's body language, which can signal arrogance, superiority, or indifference. The script notes that 'abusers take part in social interactions...condescendingly,' highlighting how body language can reveal their true nature.

💡Entitlement

Entitlement is a belief in one's inherent deserving of privileges or special treatment. The video describes how abusers exhibit a sense of entitlement, expecting preferential treatment and making demands that reflect their inflated self-importance. The script states that abusers 'immediately ask for special treatment,' illustrating their expectation of deference from others.

💡Idealization and Devaluation

Idealization is the act of placing someone on a pedestal, while devaluation is the act of diminishing their worth. The video discusses how abusers oscillate between these two behaviors, initially flattering and admiring their targets before discarding them. The script mentions that abusers 'instantly idealize, or devalue their interlocutors,' showing their manipulative tendencies.

💡Membership Posture

Membership posture refers to the way individuals position themselves within a group or society. The video describes how abusers attempt to belong while simultaneously maintaining an outsider stance, seeking admiration without investing in genuine social integration. The script notes that abusers 'always try to belong, yet at the very same time...maintains his stance as an outsider,' revealing their conflicted approach to social interaction.

💡Pronoun Density

Pronoun density refers to the frequency of personal pronouns, particularly 'I' and 'me,' in speech, which can indicate self-focus. The video points out that abusers often have high pronoun density, constantly referring to themselves and their achievements. The script describes abusers' speech as being 'peppered with I mind myself, and mine,' indicating their self-centered communication style.

💡Emotion-Free Language

Emotion-free language is a style of communication that lacks emotional expression or empathy. The video notes that abusers often use emotion-free language, focusing solely on themselves and disregarding the feelings of others. The script states that abusers 'use emotion-free language,' which helps to illustrate their lack of empathy and emotional connection with others.

💡Impatience

Impatience is the inability to wait calmly or the tendency to become easily bored or irritated. The video describes abusers as being impatient, with a strong desire for immediate attention and gratification. The script mentions that abusers 'are very impatient, easily bored,' which relates to their expectation of instant service and recognition.

💡Sadism

Sadism is the tendency to derive pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others. The video discusses how some abusers exhibit sadistic tendencies, enjoying the torment and hurt they cause to others. The script notes that abusers 'are sexually set up as a mystic or deviant or alter erotic,' suggesting their enjoyment in causing emotional or physical harm.

💡Grandiosity

Grandiosity is an exaggerated sense of one's own importance, power, or knowledge. The video describes how abusers often have grandiose fantasies and present themselves as being on a mission of great importance. The script mentions that abusers regard themselves as being on a 'constant mission, whose importance is cosmic and whose consequence is a global,' highlighting their inflated sense of self-worth and purpose.

Highlights

Abusers emit subtle, almost subliminal signals in their body language.

Narcissists adopt a haughty and arrogant body language, implying superiority.

Abusers maintain piercing eye contact but avoid physical proximity.

Narcissists seek special treatment and avoid waiting their turn.

Abusers display entitlement and expect custom tailored arrangements.

Narcissists shift responsibility for their failures onto others.

Abusers idealize or devalue others based on their own needs.

Narcissists are polite only in the presence of potential victims.

Abusers try to belong while maintaining an outsider stance.

Narcissists use obscure professional terms to appear intelligent.

Abusers prefer showmanship over substance.

Narcissists never admit to ignorance despite being typically ignorant.

Abusers brag incessantly, using a high pronoun density in their speech.

Narcissists' biographies are filled with exaggerated achievements.

Abusers name-drop and appropriate others' experiences as their own.

Narcissists use emotion-free language and talk only about themselves.

Abusers are impatient and easily bored, seeking constant attention.

Narcissists intellectualize and rationalize, often speaking in third person.

Abusers get enraged when required to delve into their emotions.

Narcissists regard themselves as on a constant mission of cosmic importance.

Abusers are easily insulted and interpret remarks as belittling.

Narcissists believe their time is more valuable than others'.

Abusers find the obnoxious, heinous, or shocking funny or gratifying.

Narcissists are sexually set up as mystics, deviants, or with alter erotic interests.

Abusers mistreat only their closest and dearest, appearing composed to others.

Narcissists are adept at casting a veil of secrecy over their dysfunction.

Transcripts

my name is Sam back name and I'm the

author of malignant self-love narcissism

revisited abuses emit subtle almost

subliminal signals in their body

language but these are observable

indiscernible learn to read the abusers

body language serve yourself a world of

trouble and of hurt the first time is a

haughty arrogant body language the

abuser adopts a physical posture which

implies and exudes an air of superiority

seniority hidden powers mysteriousness

unused indifference though the abuser

usually maintains sustained and piercing

eye contact he often refrains from

physical proximity he keeps a personal

territory around him abusers take part

in social interactions even near banter

but they do so condescendingly

from a position of supremacy and fault

magnanimity enlarges even when the

abuser feigns gregariousness he rarely

mingles socially he prefers to remain

the observer or the lone wolf the second

sign is entitlement marker abusers

immediately ask for special treatment

they don't want to wait their turn they

want to have a longer or shorter for a

creative session they want to talk

directly to authority figures and no two

assistants or secretaries they want to

be granted special payment terms they

want to enjoy a custom tailored

arrangements this goes well with the

abuses I love plastic defenses his

tendency to shift responsibility to

others or to the world at large for his

own needs failures heavier CH choices

mishaps missteps

the sentence must be landed on abusers

is not what you made me do the abuser is

the one who vocally in Tim in a

demonstratively demands the undivided

attention of the head waiter in a

restaurant monopolizes the hostess or

latches on to celebrities in a party the

abuser reacts with ragin indignantly

when denied his wishes and when treated

the same as others whom he always deemed

inferior have users frequently and

embarrassingly dressed down service

providers such as cab drivers the next

sign is idealization followed by

devaluation abusers instantly idealize

or devalue their interlocutors they

flatter add or admire and applaud the

target in an embarrassingly exaggerated

and profuse manner or when rebuffed they

sulk the abused and humiliated abuses

are polite only the presence of a

potential would-be victim and made

collaborator in other words the source

of law statistics of life but they are

unable to sustain even perfect or a

civility in very fast deteriorate to

Barb's and Feeny evaders Timothy to

verbal or other violent displays of

abuses rage attacks or old detachment or

to sadistic humor then there is the

membership posture abusers always try to

belong

yet at the very same time the abuser

maintains his stance is an outsider the

abuser seeks to be admired for

disability to integrate and ingratiate

himself but without investing the

efforts which are commensurate with such

undertaking for instance if the abuser

talks to a psychologist or therapist the

abuser first states emphatically that he

never studied psychology but then

to make seemingly effortless use of

obscure professional terms thus

demonstrating that he mustered the

discipline all the same and this is

supposed to prove that he is

exceptionally exceptionally intelligent

or introspective in other ways superior

in general abusers always prefer

show-off to substance one of the most

effective methods of exposing an abuser

is by trying to delve deeper the abuser

is shallow he is a pond pretending to be

an ocean he likes to think of himself as

a Renaissance man a jack-of-all-trades

or a genius abusers never admit to

ignorant all true failure in anything

yet typically they are ignorant and they

are losers

it is surprisingly easy to penetrate the

gloss in the veneer of the abusers

self-proclaimed omniscience success

wealth and omnipotence abusers brag and

boast they do so incessantly an abusive

speech is peppered with I mind myself

and mine this is called pronoun density

abusers describe themselves as

intelligent of rich or modest or

intuitive or creative but always

excessively always implausibly always

extraordinarily so the abuses biography

summons you unusually rich and complex

these achievements are in commensurate

with his age with his education or

Wheatley's renown yet his actual

condition is evidently and demonstrably

incompatible with his claims very often

the abusers lives of fantasies are

easily discernible he always named drops

that appropriates other people's

experiences and accomplishments as his

own abusers use emotion free language

they like to talk about themselves and

only about themselves if the abuser is

not interested in others or

they have to say he shows it he's never

reciprocal he acts disdainful even angry

if he feels an intrusion on his precious

time in general abusers are very

impatient

easily bored with strong attention

deficits unless and until they become

the topic of discussion one can dissect

all aspects of the intimate life of the

abuser providing the discourse is not

emotionally tainted if us to relate

directly to his emotion the abuser

intellectualize rationalizes speaks

about himself in the third person in a

detached scientific tone or composes a

narrative with a fictitious character in

it suspiciously autobiographical most

abusers get enraged when required to

deliver deeper into their motives fears

hopes wishes and needs they use violence

to cover up their perceived weaknesses

in sentimentality they distance

themselves from their own emotions and

from their loved ones by alienating and

hurting them finally abusers are serious

if they are dead serious about

themselves the abuser may possess a

fabulous sense of humor scathing and

cynical but rarely is his

self-deprecating the abuser regard

himself as being on a constant mission

whose importance is cosmic and whose

consequence is a global if the abuser is

aside this is always in the throes of

revolutionary insights if he's a

journalist is in the middle of the

greatest story ever if he's an aspiring

businessman he's on the way to

concluding the deal of the century woe

betide those who doubt his grandiose

fantasies and impossible schemes and

claims this self misperception is not a

minimal to lightheadedness or

self-effacement

the abuser is easily parrot and insulted

even the most innocuous remark or act

are interpreted by the abuser as

belittling intruding or coercive slicin

demands

the abusers time is more valuable than

other people's therefore it cannot be

wasted on highly important methods such

as social intercourse family obligations

household chores inevitably the abuser

fields constantly misunderstood in

underestimate any suggested help advice

or concerned inquiry are immediately

Catford the abuser is intentional

humiliation implying that the abuser is

in need of help and counsel and

therefore imperfect any attempt to set

an agenda is to the abuser and

intimidating act of enslavement in this

sense the abuser is both Skiz rates

avoid company impairment abuses are

sometimes statistic and they have

inappropriate effect in other words they

find the obnoxious the he heinous the

shocking funny or even gratifying they

are sexually set up as a mystic or

deviant or alter erotic they like to

talk to torment and to hurt people treat

people's feelings they are they do it

sometimes humorous or with bursting

honesty but it stays sadistic while some

abuses are stable and conventionals

other er are antisocial the impulse

control is called

they are very reckless self-destructive

simply fitting and just plain

destructive the engaging war communism

alcoholism drug abuse ethological

gambling compulsory shopping or reckless

driving in this the lack of empathy the

aloofness disdain the sense of

entitlement the restricted application

of humor the unequal treatment the

sadism and the paranoia do not render

the abuser a social misfit this is

because the abuser mistreats only his

closest his nearest and supposedly

dearest he abuses his fellows his

children or more rarely colleagues

friends and neighbors to the rest of the

world those who don't know him

intimately the abuser appears to be

composed rational and functioning abuses

a very adept at casting a veil of

secrecy often with the

debate of the ratings over there

dysfunction and misbehavior the great

actors and they succeeded in deceiving

the entire world or people all the time