Giving Critical Feedback | Simon Sinek
Summary
TLDRThe video script discusses the importance of fostering a culture where feedback is given not to criticize, but to promote personal growth. It emphasizes the need to establish an environment where difficult conversations and critical feedback are welcomed and understood. The speaker suggests a human-centered approach to giving feedback, starting with care and concern for the individual's growth, rather than immediately pointing out mistakes. By doing so, it creates a more receptive atmosphere for the recipient to listen and understand the feedback, ultimately leading to better communication and personal development.
Takeaways
- 🌟 Creating a culture of feedback: The speaker emphasizes the importance of establishing a culture where feedback is given to help individuals grow rather than to criticize them.
- 🤝 Difficult conversations welcomed: It's crucial to foster an environment where difficult conversations and critical feedback are not only welcomed but also understood as part of growth.
- 📝 The approach to giving feedback: The script suggests that feedback should not start with pointing out mistakes but should begin with a human connection, showing care and concern for the individual's growth.
- 👥 Focusing on the person, not the problem: The feedback process should prioritize the person, addressing them with empathy and a genuine desire to help them improve, rather than just focusing on the issue at hand.
- 🔍 Starting with care: Feedback should be initiated by expressing care and concern, and then bringing up evidence or issues that need to be addressed.
- 🗣️ Addressing communication style: An example is given where the speaker points out a harsh communication style with teammates, suggesting it's important to address such behaviors to improve team dynamics.
- 🤔 Encouraging self-awareness: By giving feedback, individuals are prompted to reflect on their actions, which can lead to increased self-awareness and personal growth.
- 🚫 Avoiding negative commands: Instead of commanding someone to stop a certain behavior, it's more effective to discuss the behavior's impact and explore the reasons behind it.
- 👂 Listening for understanding: Feedback should be given in a way that encourages the recipient to listen and understand, rather than just hearing the message.
- 💬 The importance of being heard: The script highlights that it's not enough to give feedback; it's also essential that the recipient truly hears and processes the feedback.
Q & A
What is the primary purpose of giving feedback according to the speaker?
-The primary purpose of giving feedback is to help individuals grow as human beings, not to criticize them.
How does the speaker suggest establishing a culture for feedback within a team?
-The speaker suggests establishing a culture where difficult conversations and critical feedback are welcomed or at least understood.
What is the usual method of giving feedback that the speaker criticizes?
-The speaker criticizes the usual method of giving feedback by pulling out a piece of paper and pointing out what's wrong, which can come across as overly critical.
How should feedback be given according to the speaker's preferred approach?
-Feedback should be given by starting with the human being involved, expressing care and concern, and then presenting evidence that suggests there might be an issue.
What is the speaker's suggestion for addressing a teammate's harsh communication?
-The speaker suggests addressing the issue by expressing care and concern, mentioning the observed behavior, and asking if the teammate is aware of it, rather than directly accusing them.
Why is it important to understand the reasons behind a person's behavior before giving feedback?
-Understanding the reasons behind a person's behavior is important because it allows for a more empathetic and constructive conversation, which can lead to better outcomes.
What is the main difference between the speaker's approach to feedback and the traditional approach?
-The main difference is that the speaker's approach focuses on starting with a human connection and care, while the traditional approach tends to start with pointing out faults and evidence.
How does the speaker believe feedback should be structured to be most effective?
-The speaker believes feedback should be structured to create a condition where the person is more likely to listen and hear it, by showing care and concern before presenting evidence.
What is the potential outcome when feedback is given without understanding the person's perspective?
-The potential outcome is that the person may not receive the feedback well, as it can come across as harsh and unempathetic, leading to resistance or defensiveness.
How does the speaker differentiate between giving feedback and ensuring it is heard?
-The speaker differentiates by stating that giving feedback is not just about conveying the point, but also about creating conditions where the recipient is more likely to listen and understand the feedback.
What is the speaker's view on the importance of creating a culture that supports growth through feedback?
-The speaker views it as crucial to create a culture where feedback is seen as a tool for growth and development, rather than as a form of criticism.
Outlines
🌱 Fostering a Growth-Oriented Feedback Culture
The speaker emphasizes the importance of establishing a culture where feedback is given not to criticize but to promote personal growth. They suggest that feedback should be a welcomed part of the culture, and it should be delivered in a way that is considerate and caring. The speaker contrasts the common approach of pointing out mistakes first with a more empathetic method that starts with a genuine concern for the individual's growth. They provide an example of how to address a teammate's harsh communication by expressing care and concern, rather than simply reprimanding them. The summary highlights the need for feedback to be constructive and to create an environment where it is more likely to be received positively.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Culture
💡Feedback
💡Growth
💡Difficult Conversations
💡Critical Feedback
💡Evidence
💡Human Being
💡Opportunities
💡Awareness
💡Communication
Highlights
Creating a culture where feedback is given for growth, not criticism.
Establishing a culture where difficult conversations and critical feedback are welcomed.
Giving feedback by starting with the person, not pointing out what's wrong first.
Sharing feedback with care and concern for the person's growth.
Addressing issues with the person to explore opportunities and understand reasons behind their actions.
Using specific examples to provide feedback constructively.
Encouraging self-awareness and reflection through feedback.
Avoiding negative feedback delivery that can demotivate and alienate people.
Creating a condition where feedback is more likely to be heard and understood.
Feedback should be about helping the person grow, not just pointing out faults.
Difficult conversations are a part of creating a culture of growth.
Feedback should be given with empathy and understanding.
Starting feedback with the person's perspective can lead to better outcomes.
Feedback should be an opportunity for growth and learning, not just criticism.
The way feedback is delivered can greatly affect how it is received.
It's important to consider the person's feelings and reactions when giving feedback.
Feedback should be a two-way conversation, not a one-sided lecture.
Understanding the reasons behind someone's actions can lead to more effective feedback.
Feedback should aim to improve relationships and teamwork, not just individual performance.
The goal of feedback is to foster growth and development, not just to correct mistakes.
Transcripts
so
one of the things that um we we do is um
is
is we it's creating a culture in which
people understand that the reason we're
giving feedback is not to quote unquote
criticize them but to help them grow as
human beings um and that has to be a
that has to be established like this
this is what we're gonna the advice i i
offer is it's not just a checklist that
you do and everything goes fine you know
you create a culture in which
uh difficult conversations and uh and
and critical feedback are welcomed or at
least understood um but it's also how we
give it um usually we give it by pulling
out a piece of paper and pointing out
the thing that's wrong
um and you know and saying you've got to
fix something right we usually point to
the evidence first
um as opposed to starting by with by by
the human being which is you know
there's stuff i want to share with you i
don't know where what it means but i
wanted to raise it with you in case
there is an issue
um because i care about you and i want
to see that you grow here but there's
some evidence that things are going a
little sideways and i want to i want to
address them with them to see what
opportunities there are or if there's
anything wrong because i don't know the
reasons behind it but um here's
for example um the way you talked to
your teammates the other day was a
little harsh and ordinarily i'd be one
say oh you know you're having a bad day
it's no problem you know everybody gets
uh everybody gets a bad day but you've
been really beating up on people
um i don't even know if you're aware of
that
right um
and sometimes they say i'm having a hard
time and it opens up or they'll say i
wasn't even aware i didn't even know or
it reveals something as opposed to
saying stop yelling at people nobody
wants to work for you if all you do is
yell at people you know it's hard for
people to receive and so good feedback
is not just about conveying the point
we're trying to make it's about creating
a condition in which the person is more
likely to listen and hear it
so we're all proud of ourselves once
we've told them we did you did you give
her the feedback yeah i told her right
did they hear the feedback
uh different question
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