What happens when the Narcissist Loses control over you?

Summary

In this video, Darren Magee explores common behaviors of narcissistic individuals when they lose control or are exposed. He discusses how narcissists may react with manipulative apologies, false accusations, and attempts to regain control by influencing a victim's social circle or projecting guilt. They may also become vindictive or try to create trauma bonds to keep the victim emotionally tethered. Magee emphasizes the persistence of these tactics and the difficulty victims may face when trying to break free from such relationships, while encouraging reflection on past experiences.

Takeaways

• 😠 Narcissists may react negatively when their tactics are no longer effective and they lose control over someone.
• 🤥 Narcissistic behaviors are persistent and pervasive, including manipulation, exploitation, and lack of empathy.
• 😢 When exposed, narcissists might apologize, but often it is insincere or comes with excuses, as they are typically more sorry for the consequences than their actions.
• 🙅 Narcissists often refuse to admit their mistakes and instead resort to false accusations and gaslighting to distort the victim's perception.
• 👥 They may try to infiltrate the victim's social circle, using friends and family as agents to stalk, intimidate, and regain control.
• 😡 Narcissists project their pain and shame onto their victims, manipulating them to take responsibility for the narcissist's actions.
• 💥 They can become vindictive and act out aggressively when they lose control, including spreading rumors, damaging property, and withholding support.
• 🔁 Narcissists may create or strengthen a trauma bond with their victims to maintain control, using dependency and coercion.
• 😔 When manipulative tactics fail, narcissists might attempt to emotionally manipulate the victim into feeling guilty or responsible.
• 📢 Narcissists value themselves based on external admiration, often manipulating others to feed their need for validation and attention.

Q & A

What are some common traits of a narcissistic person?

Narcissistic people often display entitlement, self-absorption, and a resistance to criticism. They can be exploitative, manipulative, and lack empathy. Their behaviors are consistent, persistent, and pervasive.

How might a narcissistic person react when their tactics no longer work?

When a narcissistic person loses control, they might apologize, but often not for their actions—more for the consequences. They may also deny the truth, twist the facts, project blame, or become vindictive.

Why do narcissists seek control over others?

Narcissists rely on admiration and validation from others to maintain their fragile sense of self. When people don’t meet their demands, they manipulate or bully them to regain control.

What is a 'trauma bond' and how does a narcissist use it?

A trauma bond occurs when a victim becomes emotionally dependent on their abuser. Narcissists may create or strengthen this bond to keep the victim feeling trapped and unable to assert autonomy.

How do narcissists apologize when caught?

A narcissist’s apology may be insincere and focused on the consequences they face, rather than the harm they've caused. They may include excuses or shift the blame to external factors.

What are some tactics narcissists use when they've been exposed?

Narcissists might engage in behaviors like projecting blame onto the victim, spreading false accusations, gaslighting, or even contacting the victim's social circle to manipulate perceptions.

How do narcissists manipulate after losing control over someone?

They may try to evoke pity or sympathy by playing the victim, blaming others, or using emotional manipulation to regain influence. In some cases, they turn to vindictive actions to 'punish' the person.

What is the significance of 'false accusations' in a narcissist's behavior?

False accusations are used by narcissists to twist the truth, manipulate perceptions, and make the victim question their own reality. It’s a form of gaslighting designed to protect the narcissist's image.

Why do narcissists often struggle with admitting mistakes?

Narcissists have a poor sense of self and little insight into their own behavior. Admitting mistakes would undermine their fragile ego, so they prefer to shift blame or deny wrongdoing.

What is the role of a narcissist’s social circle in their manipulation?

Narcissists may enlist others, sometimes called 'flying monkeys,' to gather information or reinforce their narrative. This helps them control how others perceive both themselves and their victim.