How ANYONE can learn to be more dominant

MyNonLeatherLife

26 Jan 202113:54

Summary

TLDRVictoria discusses whether men, particularly those who are shy, introverted, or inexperienced, can learn to be more dominant in the bedroom. She references the 'Sexual Dominance Escalation Course' by porn star Sterling Cooper, who claims that many women have deep-rooted fantasies of being dominated. Victoria agrees, noting that while not all women share these desires, many do, and that men can learn techniques to fulfill these fantasies. She emphasizes that dominance can be taught through practice and that confidence, rather than physical attributes, is key to enhancing sexual experiences.

Takeaways

🎥 The video discusses whether men can learn to be more dominant in relationships, especially if they are shy or introverted.
📚 Victoria mentions a course called 'Sexual Dominance Escalation' by Sterling Cooper, a professional porn star with extensive experience.
👥 A common theme from Cooper's experiences is that many women desire to be dominated, although it's not universal.
📖 Victoria references 'Decode Your Kink', a book by a sex therapist, which discusses the difficulty people have in acknowledging their true sexual desires due to societal stigma.
🔒 There's a societal taboo around kink and fetishes, which were historically viewed as illegal or pathological.
🚹 Men often lack the confidence to physically dominate in the bedroom, which can be a thrilling experience for women.
💡 The video suggests that anyone can learn to be more dominant with the right guidance and practice.
🎯 The course breaks down dominance into actionable moves that can be incorporated into a typical sexual encounter.
📈 The popularity of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is cited as evidence that many women are interested in dominance and submission fantasies.
🤓 Even nerdy or inexperienced men can become dominant; it's not something you have to be born with.
🔑 Understanding and exploring one's own sexuality is important, even if you're learning to fulfill a partner's fantasies.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Victoria's video?
-The main topic of Victoria's video is whether any man can learn to be more dominant in relationships, especially if they are shy, scared, introverted, or lack confidence with women.
What course did Victoria take on sexual dominance?
-Victoria took the 'Sexual Dominance Escalation Course' by Sterling Cooper, a professional porn star who has had experiences with over 500 women.
What common theme did Sterling Cooper notice in his experiences with women?
-Sterling Cooper noticed that a common theme in his experiences with women is that they want to be dominated.
What book does Victoria mention that discusses kink and sexuality?
-Victoria mentions the book 'Decode Your Kink' by a sex therapist who helps people understand their sexuality.
Why do people often hide their true sexual desires according to the book mentioned?
-People often hide their true sexual desires because of a sex-negative culture and the historical view of kink as illegal or a psychological disorder.
What is the significance of the book 'Fifty Shades of Grey' in Victoria's discussion?
-The book 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is significant as it reflects the prevalence of fantasies about domination and submission, which many women may secretly desire.
How does Victoria feel about the idea that only naturally dominant men can be physically dominant in the bedroom?
-Victoria believes that anyone can learn to be physically dominant in the bedroom, regardless of their natural tendencies, through learning specific moves and techniques.
What advice does Victoria give to men who are inexperienced or lack confidence in being sexually dominant?
-Victoria advises that men can learn to be more dominant by incorporating certain moves and techniques into their sexual encounters, and that this can make them more attractive to women.
What does Victoria mean by 'service top' in the context of sexual dominance?
-A 'service top' is someone who is dominant for the pleasure of their partner, even if they don't have a corresponding dominant kink themselves.
How does Victoria feel about the role of physical attractiveness in sexual performance?
-Victoria believes that physical attractiveness has little to do with sexual performance in bed, and that men who are less conventionally attractive can be just as good as more attractive men if they learn how to be dominant.
What is the upcoming event that Victoria is nervous about?
-Victoria is nervous about her upcoming Q&A session with the Fearless Man, where she has public speaking anxiety.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Exploring Dominance in Relationships

Victoria discusses the possibility of shy or introverted men learning to be more dominant in relationships. She references a course by Sterling Cooper, a professional porn star with extensive experience, who suggests that women often desire to be dominated. Victoria acknowledges the variability in women's desires but points to a prevalent theme in popular culture and her own experiences that supports this notion. She also mentions the book 'Decode Your Kink' by a sex therapist, which indicates a societal resistance to acknowledging one's true sexual desires due to a sex-negative culture. Victoria emphasizes the importance of establishing consent and understanding before engaging in any dominant behavior.

05:00

🔥 The Impact of Physical Dominance

Victoria shares her personal experiences, noting the intense thrill she felt when a partner was physically dominant during intimacy. She suggests that many men lack this confidence and that learning these skills could make them unforgettable to their partners. She references the popularity of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' as evidence of the widespread appeal of dominance fantasies. Victoria then discusses the 'Sexual Dominance Escalation Course' and how it breaks down techniques that can be incorporated into a typical sexual encounter. She emphasizes that these skills can be learned and that they can be very appealing to women, regardless of the man's physical appearance or experience.

10:02

🧐 Can Anyone Learn to Be Dominant?

Victoria explores the question of whether dominance is an innate skill or something that can be learned. She argues that anyone can learn to be more dominant, using the course material as an example of how it can be broken down into manageable steps. She also touches on the idea that being nerdy or inexperienced does not preclude one from becoming dominant, and that there is a certain appeal in a less traditionally dominant person taking charge. Victoria suggests that understanding and fulfilling a woman's fantasies can be incredibly attractive and that looks are not as important as performance and confidence in the bedroom. She concludes by stating that she believes anyone can learn to be dominant, regardless of their perceived 'lame' qualities.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Dominant

Dominant refers to a person who takes control in a relationship or sexual situation. In the context of the video, it is discussed as a desirable trait for men to learn, especially for those who are shy or introverted. The video suggests that being dominant can be a learned skill, contrary to the misconception that it might be innate. An example from the script is the speaker's mention of her own experiences where men who were more physically dominant in the bedroom were more memorable.

💡Introverted

Introverted is a personality trait where individuals tend to be more focused on their inner thoughts and feelings rather than seeking external stimulation. In the video, the speaker addresses introverted men and suggests that they too can learn to be more dominant, which challenges the stereotype that introverts are inherently less capable of taking charge in relationships.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance that one can achieve desired outcomes. The video implies that confidence, particularly in sexual scenarios, is something that can be developed and is linked to the ability to be dominant. The speaker reflects on her past experiences, noting that men who displayed confidence in their dominance were particularly impactful.

💡Sexual Dominance

Sexual Dominance refers to the act of one person taking control in a sexual context. The video discusses a course named 'Sexual Dominance Escalation Course' which aims to teach men how to be more dominant in their sexual encounters. The speaker believes that this skill can be learned and is not exclusive to those who are naturally dominant.

💡Kink

A kink is a non-traditional sexual preference or desire. The video discusses how kinks are often hidden due to societal taboos and shame, but are a common part of many people's fantasies. The speaker mentions a book called 'Decode Your Kink' which helps people understand their own kinks, suggesting that these desires are more prevalent than often acknowledged.

💡Consent

Consent is the voluntary agreement to engage in a particular activity, especially a sexual one. The video emphasizes the importance of establishing consent before engaging in any dominant or submissive activities. It is highlighted as a critical aspect of ensuring that all parties are comfortable and willing participants.

💡Shy

Shyness is characterized by a lack of self-confidence, a tendency to be reserved and quiet. The video script suggests that even shy individuals can learn to be more dominant, which challenges the notion that dominance is solely an extroverted trait. The speaker encourages shy men to consider learning these skills.

💡Nerdy

Nerdy, in this context, refers to individuals who are highly knowledgeable or enthusiastic about a particular subject, often to the point of being seen as socially awkward. The speaker points out that many kinky individuals are nerdy, implying that an interest in kink is a form of intellectual or deep exploration of one's sexuality.

💡Service Top

A service top is a dominant partner in a BDSM relationship who focuses on the pleasure of their submissive partner. The term is used in the video to suggest that even those who may not naturally identify as dominant can learn to be a service top, catering to the desires of their submissive partner.

💡Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey is a novel that explores themes of BDSM and has been influential in popularizing these concepts. The video references the book's prevalence to argue that the desire for dominance and submission is widespread, even if not openly discussed.

💡Taboo

A taboo is a strong social prohibition or ban on a particular practice or custom. The video discusses how kinks and fantasies around dominance and submission are often considered taboo, leading people to hide these desires. The speaker reflects on her own journey to acknowledge and overcome the shame associated with her own fantasies.

Highlights

Victoria introduces the topic of whether any guy can learn to be more dominant, especially if he's shy, scared, or introverted.

Victoria mentions taking a course on sexual dominance, specifically the 'Sexual Dominance Escalation Course' by Sterling Cooper, who claims women want to be dominated.

Sterling Cooper, a professional porn star with experience with over 500 women, claims that most women want to be dominated, which resonates with Victoria's thoughts.

Victoria discusses how societal shame and taboos surrounding sexuality, especially kinks, have kept people from exploring their true desires.

She references the book 'Decode Your Kink,' where the author (a sex therapist) notes that many people struggle to understand or express their true sexual fantasies.

Victoria believes there’s strong evidence, both from her own experience and cultural observations, that domination fantasies are more prevalent in women than commonly assumed.

Victoria mentions that many men lack the confidence to be physically dominant in the bedroom, even though women may desire it.

She argues that sexual domination offers a 'thrill beyond all thrills,' and that men who are physically dominant in the bedroom are often unforgettable to their partners.

Victoria suggests that some fantasies only surface during moments of extreme passion, like just before orgasm, when people unconsciously express their deepest desires.

She believes that anyone can learn to be more dominant, even if they aren’t naturally inclined, and emphasizes that it’s more about learning the right moves and techniques.

Victoria notes that many kinky people are often nerdy, suggesting that being intellectual might lead to more open exploration of kinks.

She emphasizes that dominance can be learned, especially through courses that break down techniques in an easy-to-follow way.

Victoria reflects on how many men she dated were shy and introverted but could have been seen as more sexually appealing if they had learned to be more dominant.

She finds it especially attractive when a man who isn’t physically imposing or stereotypically dominant can still dominate in a powerful way.

Victoria concludes that being dominant in bed doesn’t require being physically attractive or 'a Chad,' and that learning these skills can give men an advantage over more attractive men.