What is Love? The Science Behind Lust, Attraction, and Attachment

Summary

Este vídeo explora la psicología del amor, centrándose en tres comportamientos clave: lujuria, atracción y apego. Basado en la investigación de Helen Fisher, se explica cómo estos comportamientos están relacionados con la reproducción y el amor en especies distintas. Se discuten factores que afectan la lujuria, como la cultura, el estrés y las hormonas, y cómo el hipocampo y la glándula pituitaria juegan un papel crucial. La atracción se vincula con la dopamina y la noradrenalina, y se mencionan razones evolutivas como la fertilidad y la proximidad. El apego se asocia con hormonas como la oxitocina y la vasopressina, y se aborda la monogamia como una estrategia evolutiva para la supervivencia de los descendientes.

Takeaways

• 🧠 La psicología del amor se divide en tres comportamientos distintos: lujuria, atracción y apego, basados en la investigación de la antropóloga Helen Fisher.
• 🔥 La lujuria se refiere a la necesidad innata de satisfacción sexual y a la necesidad de transmitir nuestros genes a futuras generaciones.
• 💊 El hipocampo y la glándula pituitaria juegan un papel crucial en la regulación de la lujuria y la liberación de hormonas sexuales como el testosterona y la estrogena.
• ❤️ La atracción se refiere a la unión emocional con alguien y la inversión de recursos en una relación específica, en lugar de distribuirlos entre varias personas.
• 👤 La atracción física, la proximidad y las similitudes son factores conscientes que influyen en por qué estamos atraídos por alguien.
• 👃 Los estudios sugieren que el olfato juega un papel importante en la atracción, permitiendo que las personas perciban diferencias genéticas y fases de ovulación.
• 🧬 La atracción también está influenciada por factores inconscientes como el olor y el sonido de la voz, que pueden indicar fertilidad y buena salud genética.
• 💊 La liberación de dopamina en el área del tálamo ventral (VTA) y el núcleo accumbens es clave en la sensación de amor romántico y la motivación por lo placentero.
• 😌 La apego se asocia con la liberación de hormonas como la oxitocina y la vasopressina, que promueven la unión y el cariño en las relaciones de largo plazo.
• 🐭 El estudio de animales monógamos como los topomelas nos proporciona información sobre los mecanismos biológicos y genéticos que promueven la unión y el apego en las relaciones.
• 🌐 Aunque la mayoría de los mamíferos no son monógamos, el comportamiento monógamo en seres humanos y algunas especies animales puede ser beneficioso para la supervivencia y protección de los descendientes.

Q & A

¿Qué tres comportamientos detrás del apareamiento y la reproducción se discuten en el video?

El video trata sobre los comportamientos de lujuria, atracción y apego.

¿Qué es lo que todos los seres vivos tienen en común según la lujuria?

El necesidad innata de satisfacción sexual y la necesidad de transmitir nuestros genes para asegurar la supervivencia de nuestra especie.

¿Qué es el papel del hipocampo en la regulación de la lujuria?

El hipocampo actúa como el CEO del cuerpo, comunicándose con la glándula pituitaria, que a su vez estimula a las glándulas sexuales (testículos y ovarios) para liberar hormonas que incrementan la lujuria.

¿Cuáles son las hormonas sexuales principales responsables de la lujuria en los hombres y las mujeres?

En los hombres, la testosterona es la principal hormona responsable de la lujuria, mientras que en las mujeres, tanto la testosterona como la estrógeno juegan roles importantes.

¿Qué es la atracción según Helen Fisher y qué representa?

La atracción es la fase de unión emocional con alguien, donde se invierte todos los recursos en una sola persona, en lugar de dispersarlos entre varias, como ocurre en la lujuria.

¿Cuáles son las dos grandes razones evolutivas por las que nos encontramos atractivos a alguien?

Las dos razones son la fertilidad y la salud de una persona, que se pueden inferir a través de la atracción física, y la teoría de la selección sexual, donde buscamos a alguien con genes diferentes para mejorar la resistencia genética de nuestros descendientes.

¿Qué es el efecto halo en la psicología y cómo se relaciona con la atracción física?

El efecto halo es un error cognitivo en el que si una persona es físicamente atractiva, también se tiende a percibirla como inteligente, divertida y con una buena personalidad.

¿Qué es la teoría de la proximidad y cómo afecta la atracción?

La teoría de la proximidad sugiere que cuanto más cerca estés de una persona, más probable es que desarrolles un interés romántico en ella, debido a la exposición constante y la familiaridad que esto conlleva.

¿Qué áreas del cerebro se activan durante la atracción y qué neurotransmisores están involucrados?

Durante la atracción, se activan áreas como el ventral tegmental area (VTA) y el núcleo accumbens, con la liberación de dopamina, noradrenalina y una disminución de la serotonina, lo que causa la euforbia y la obsesión por la otra persona.

¿Qué es el apego y cómo se diferencia de la atracción?

El apego es la fase de compromiso a largo plazo en la que buscamos la estabilidad y la seguridad con una sola persona, en lugar de la excitación y la obsesión que caracterizan la atracción.

¿Cuál es la teoría del efecto de espaciamiento en la monogamia y qué sugiere?

La teoría del efecto de espaciamiento sugiere que la monogamia puede haber evolucionado porque es más fácil y seguro para los animales espaciarse y formar pares fijos, lo que facilita la obtención de alimento y la protección de los descendientes.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 La psicología del amor y sus comportamientos

Este primer párrafo introduce el tema del video, que es la psicología del amor, centrándose en tres comportamientos distintos detrás de la reproducción y el apareamiento: lujuria, atracción y apego. Se menciona la investigación de la antropóloga Helen Fisher, quien estudió todas las especies del planeta y qué sucede en sus cerebros durante estos procesos. Se destaca que aunque estos comportamientos suelen ocurrir en un orden específico (lujuria, atracción y luego apego), no todos los individuos siguen el mismo patrón. Algunos podrían tener un encuentro sexual sin buscar una relación a largo plazo, mientras que otros podrían estar emocionalmente involucrados sin atracción sexual. Se enfatiza la importancia de la lujuria como necesidad innata de satisfacción sexual y la importancia de la libido para la supervivencia de la especie.

05:03

🔥 La lujuria y sus factores

En este segundo párrafo se explora la lujuria como un impulso sexual que busca la transmisión de genes y la supervivencia de la especie. Se discuten los factores que influyen en la lujuria, como razones culturales, la educación y el entorno, así como la influencia de la psicología, el estrés y las experiencias personales en la libido. Se destaca la importancia de la biología y los mecanismos fisiológicos involucrados, especialmente la hipófisis y el papel que desempeña en la pubertad al comunicarse con las glándulas sexuales y liberar hormonas como el testosterona y la estrogena, que son cruciales para el impulso sexual.

10:04

❤️ La atracción y sus causas

El tercer párrafo se centra en la atracción como una etapa posterior a la lujuria, donde se busca una unión emocional con una sola persona. Se exploran las razones evolutivas detrás de la atracción, divididas en factores conscientes (como la atracción física, la proximidad y las similitudes) y factores subconscientes (como las pheromonas y las diferencias genéticas). Se mencionan estudios que muestran cómo las personas pueden percibir diferencias genéticas a través de la olfacción y cómo los hombres pueden detectar la ovulación en mujeres a través del olfato. También se discuten los roles de la voz y los besos en la atracción.

15:04

🧬 Los procesos cerebrales durante la atracción

Este cuarto párrafo explica lo que sucede en el cerebro durante la atracción, destacando áreas como la ventral tegmental area (VTA) y el núcleo accumbens, que están relacionadas con la liberación de dopamina y la percepción de placer. Se mencionan los efectos de la noradrenalina en la euforbia y la ansiedad por la separación, así como la disminución de la serotonina que puede causar rumiación y obsesión. También se discuten áreas del cerebro que se desactivan durante la atracción, como el córtex prefrontal y el amígdala, lo que lleva a decisiones poco racionales y la capacidad de ignorar defectos en la pareja.

20:07

🤗 El apego y la monógamia

El último párrafo trata el apego como una etapa de compromiso a largo plazo en la que se busca la estabilidad y la seguridad emocional. Se discute la monógamia desde una perspectiva evolutiva, explorando por qué tan pocas especies son monógamas y las ventajas de esta estrategia para la supervivencia de los descendientes. Se mencionan las hormonas de la hipófisis como el oxitocina y la vasopresina, que son importantes para el apego y la formación de lazos. También se habla de la genética y cómo puede influir en la tendencia a formar relaciones monógamas o polígamas.

Keywords

💡Serotonina

La serotonina es una sustancia química en el cerebro que se asocia con sentimientos de bienestar y felicidad. En el vídeo, se menciona la sensación de 'Rush de serotonina' para describir la excitación o el impulso que se siente durante el amor o la atracción romántica. Este concepto es crucial para entender cómo los neurotransmisores afectan nuestras emociones y comportamientos amorosos.

💡Helen Fisher

Helen Fisher es una antropóloga mencionada en el vídeo que ha realizado investigaciones sobre el amor y la atracción en varias especies, incluyendo a los humanos. Su trabajo proporciona un marco de referencia para entender las tres comportamientos distintos detrás del apareamiento y la reproducción: lujuria, atracción y apego. Fisher es fundamental para el tema del vídeo, ya que su investigación apoya la teoría de los patrones de comportamiento amoroso.

💡Lujuria

La lujuria se refiere al deseo sexual o la necesidad innata de satisfacción sexual, que es esencial para la supervivencia de la especie al pasar nuestros genes a las futuras generaciones. En el vídeo, se describe cómo la lujuria está relacionada con la libido y cómo la activación de la lujuria puede llevar a la búsqueda de parejas sexuales. La lujuria es el primer paso en el proceso de apareamiento descrito por Fisher.

💡Atracción

La atracción se menciona como la segunda fase en el modelo de comportamiento amoroso de Fisher, seguido de la lujuria. Se refiere a la formación de una relación romántica con una sola persona, en lugar de buscar múltiples parejas como en la lujuria. La atracción implica un vínculo emocional y una inversión de recursos en una sola persona, y se asocia con áreas del cerebro como la ventral tegmental area (VTA) y el núcleo accumbens, que están involucradas en la dopamina y la percepción de placer.

💡Apego

El apego es la tercera y última fase descrita por Fisher en su modelo, y se refiere a la creación de una relación de largo plazo y de compromiso con una persona. En el vídeo, se menciona cómo el apego puede ser resultado de la liberación de hormonas como la oxitocina y la vasopressina, que promueven la formación de lazos y la afección. El apego es esencial para la formación de relaciones familiares estables y la crianza de los hijos.

💡Libido

El término 'libido' se utiliza en el vídeo para describir la energía sexual o el deseo de actividad sexual. Se menciona que el deseo de pasar los genes a través del sexo es una forma de entender la función del libido. El nivel de libido puede variar entre las personas y puede ser influenciado por factores culturales, psicológicos y biológicos, como la edad y los niveles hormonales.

💡Hormonas sexuales

Las hormonas sexuales, como el testosterone y la estrogena, son mencionadas en el vídeo como factores clave en la regulación de la lujuria y la libido. Estas hormonas son liberadas por las glándulas sexuales durante la pubertad y afectan la atracción sexual y la capacidad reproductiva. El vídeo destaca cómo el testosterone, en particular, es crucial para el impulso sexual en ambos hombres y mujeres.

💡Hipotalamo

El hipotalamo es una estructura del cerebro que se destaca en el vídeo como el regulador del deseo sexual. Durante la pubertad, el hipotalamo comunica con la glándula pituitaria para liberar hormonas que estimulan la producción de hormonas sexuales en las glándulas sexuales, lo que aumenta la libido. El hipotalamo juega un papel crucial en la regulación del comportamiento sexual y la supervivencia de la especie.

💡Oxitocina

La oxitocina es una hormona mencionada en el vídeo que se libera durante la lactancia, el parto y el orgasmo, y que promueve la formación de lazos entre los seres humanos. Se asocia con el apego y la creación de relaciones de pareja estables. La oxitocina se considera la 'hormona del abrazo' y es fundamental para el vínculo afectivo en las relaciones amorosas.

💡Vasopressina

La vasopressina es otra hormona que se relaciona con el apego y la monogamia, como se menciona en el vídeo. Se encuentra en áreas específicas del cerebro y está asociada con la formación de lazos duraderos. La investigación en animales como los praderas, que son monógamos, ha demostrado que la vasopressina puede influir en el comportamiento social y la tendencia a formar parejas duraderas.

Highlights

Psychology of love involves three distinct behaviors: lust, attraction, and attachment.

Lust is the innate need for sexual gratification and is linked to the survival of our species.

Libido, derived from the Latin word for 'desire', is a key component of lust.

Cultural, upbringing, and psychological factors can influence an individual's sex drive.

The hypothalamus is the part of the brain that regulates sex drive.

Puberty triggers a cascade of hormones that stimulate sexual desire.

Testosterone and estrogen are the primary hormones linked to sexual drive.

Attraction involves forming an emotional bond and is distinct from lust.

Physical attraction is often linked to indicators of health and fertility.

The 'halo effect' in psychology suggests that physical attractiveness is associated with other positive qualities.

Proximity and similarity play roles in conscious attraction.

Subconscious attraction can be influenced by olfactory cues, such as genetic differences detectable through scent.

Men can subconsciously detect when women are ovulating through scent.

The brain's VTA (ventral tegmental area) is associated with the pleasurable feelings of romantic love.

Romantic love can cause a decrease in serotonin, leading to obsessive thoughts about a loved one.

Attachment is the long-term commitment phase of love, focused on comfort and companionship.

Only about 5-10% of mammal species are monogamous.

Monogamy in humans may be linked to the survival and protection of offspring.

Oxytocin and vasopressin are hormones associated with pair bonding and attachment.

Transcripts

ah feel that Rush of Serotonin

[Music]

all right guys welcome to psych

explained in this video we're going to

dive into the psychology of Love or more

specifically three distinct behaviors

behind mating and reproduction what we

call lust attraction and attachment and

these three distinct behaviors are based

on the research of anthropologist Helen

Fisher who studied all species on the

planet and what is happening in the

brain when they're reproducing or mating

or maybe falling in love with each other

now you notice on the board I had this

kind of long road here right and that's

because I'm going to talk about each of

these distinct behaviors as if they

occur in a specific order right we kind

of are sexually aroused by somebody we

want to form a relationship with them

and then we become attached to them and

we want to form a long-term relationship

but understand everybody's different not

everybody goes through the same sequence

in order or ghost them at all right you

might have a one night stand with

somebody but not actually want to you

know form a relationship with them

on the other hand you might be

emotionally involved with somebody but

not be sexually attracted to them right

so just take it with a grain of salt of

this idea of going in order everybody is

different all right let's start with the

first one what do we mean by lust well

what do all species on the planet have

in common we all need to pass on our

genes so here's what we mean by lust

what we're talking about is kind of our

innate need

of sexual gratification right this is

our sex drive right what do we need to

do pass on our genes right make sure our

species continues to survive and another

psych word you might use is libido and

libido comes from the Latin word meaning

desire right so what do these kind of

all have in common what we're talking

about is the idea that we need to what

pass on

are what our genes okay so this is the

idea of getting up going on a Friday

night Saturday night going to the bar do

what you need to do because we want to

make sure we find as many mates as

possible right we're thinking about this

from an evolutionary standpoint right I

know you're not going to a bar thing and

like I need to pass in my jeans to

everybody but that's the kind of

mentality you need to have right so

that's what we really mean by lust now

what factors affect us right why is some

people you know very sexually motivated

and other people are not well there's a

lot of different reasons right we think

about cultural reasons right it could be

things like your parents think about

your upbringing right some of us were

raised and very conservative houses

right where sex was very taboo don't

talk about it others much more liberal

and think about your friends right are

you friends sexually active are they

talking about this stuff or is it more

kind of uh you know down below the

surface and even things like the media

right what you're exposed to on TV and

on social media right all that plays a

role in terms of our lust and our sex

drive what about psychological what

about our thoughts right involved in sex

drive well a lot of things can play a

role it could be things like uh stress

where I think about how stress might

affect uh your drive and desire to

pursue uh somebody else or maybe even

trauma right I know I'm talking about

childhood a lot but a lot of this plays

a role in your current present-day state

of whether you're single or married or

attached to another person or even maybe

your thoughts about yourself right like

thoughts about your body image right all

these play a role in your sex drive and

we're going to focus on really today in

this video is the last one which is

biological right all these physiological

mechanisms involved in lust and our sex

drive whether it's how old you are right

we know as we get older we lose specific

hormones and our our sex drive kind of

decreases everything from genes right

genetics right always plays a role and

things we'll talk about today like

hormones right how much like the level

of hormones in our body so understand

what comes to us there's a variety of

factors that play a role but what are we

going to focus on let's focus on the

biological so let me ask you this can

you think about part of the brain that

really regulates the whole sex drive

well if you're thinking in your head oh

it must be the hypothalamus you are

correct

okay and the hypothalamus hypo means

below is this structure right there and

the hypothalamus really controls

homeostasis right if you're hungry you

eat if you're thirsty you drink if you

sleep you sleep it kind of regulates the

whole body another purpose it controls

our sex drive so how does it do that

well let's bring it down together okay

the first thing we have and I'm going to

write the word hypothalamus down here is

when does the hypothalamus really start

communicating with the body when it

comes to sex well if you're thinking

puberty you're right right this went all

the Cascade of hormone start to kind of

go down our body and and make changes

right so what does hypothalamus do well

the hypothalamus is going to communicate

with a specific structure right here

this kind of two lobes called the

pituitary gland

this is the master gland right think of

you know the hypothalamus is the CEO and

the pituitary gland is like second to

command and during this process of

puberty the pituitary gland is going to

communicate with really two gonads to

sexual organs the testes in males

testes and the ovaries in females okay

and why is it doing that because it's

going to release specific hormones to

kind of boost this loss in sex drive

because we need to pass on our genes in

a testy specifically we'll say t for

testosterone and what about the ovaries

the ovaries are going to release we call

estrogen okay and these are the two

specific sex hormones testosterone and

estrogen and even in females

testosterone is key okay you can have an

animal that's been castrated and you

boost them with testosterone and all of

a sudden the sex drive goes up so even

though estrogen is important

testosterone is the main thing here all

right so this is what we mean by lust

this passing on our genes this libido

this desire and craving for sexual

intercourse all right what's next let's

say you had we'll just say for our

purpose of this video right this is our

one night stand this is being sexually

intimate with somebody we decide you

know this is the person that I want to

be with right I'm attracted to them I'm

put all my resources together into this

one person and this is what Helen Fisher

refers to as attraction right this is

what we mean by kind of this emotional

Union

right emotional Union with somebody uh

this feeling of you know romantic love

another name for uh attraction right and

from an evolutionary standpoint

essentially what you're doing at least

in the male's perspective is you're

investing all of your resources right

into one single person right in lust

you're investing your resources in

everybody right just anywhere somebody

will take me but here we're investing

all of our energy into one specific mate

right now before we get into kind of the

the brain circuitry of Attraction here's

a big question

why are we attracted to somebody in the

first place right what are the kind of

The evolutionary reasons why we find

this person attractive but not this

person and we can divide this into

really two big things we have conscious

in other words you know why you're

attracted to them you can kind of

pinpoint it and verbalize it another is

subconscious right below conscious

awareness what I'm interested in is the

subconscious right that's the stuff like

you don't know why you're attracted to

them but you are but let's start with

the conscious attraction and by the way

I have this for for visual cues and oh

factory cues and auditory cues right all

these cues affecting um attraction

the first one uh conscious is probably

the most obvious one for all species and

that is we'll say physical attraction

right you have to be physically

attracted to the person

um

to you know form a relationship with

them right and physical attraction comes

in a lot of different forms right it

could be symmetry of the face right we

know that we might have heard that

before we're like you put your hand here

and this side must match this side the

more symmetrical right a face tends to

be more attractive uh it could even be

things like you know waste to hip ratio

I mean these things are so specific

research can find what makes somebody

attractive to even a male right the

shape of our jaw right or our chest

right all these play a role so why is

that why is physical traction so

important to human beings well it's

because the health of a person okay the

physical you know the what their skin

looks like and you know the shape of

their jaw and the shape of their chest

right tells us at least from an

evolutionary's perspective about their

fertility

right are you able to have a baby right

are you youthful right are you able to

pass on my genes right so physical

attractiveness is really about the

fertility the passing on my genes are

you able to have a baby

um compared to other things now it's

important to know we'll add some

psychology here why is physical

attraction so important uh well it's

because I'll have another arrow here

it's because when somebody's physical

attractive we also think that they're

good at other things okay in fact I'll

erase that here and we call this in

Psychology the halo effect in other

words if you're physically attractive we

also think you're funny and uh you know

you you have a good family and you have

a good personality right that's a

cognitive error but we tend to think of

something physically attractive you have

all their good qualities as well

another trait that would be a conscious

awareness is we'll call proximity right

and we mean by proximity Is closeness

right how close you are to the person

right this is why relationships often

start in a classroom or in a workplace

because you see the person over and over

and over again and this relates to let's

add more psychology here this relates to

another term in Psychology called the

mirror you know where I'm going this the

mirror

exposure effect which tells us that the

more you see somebody okay the more we

tend to desire them and like them right

so it's not just about being close to

them we tend to prefer them because we

see them all the time right it's like

hearing a song on the radio over and

over again eventually like it's not a

bad song or seeing the same commercial

over and over again when you see it more

often we tend to like and desire them

right so here are some kind of conscious

reasons we might be uh close also

similarities right things you have in

common all right so let's talk about

these subconscious right the things

below the surface of why we might be

attracted to somebody but really have no

conscious awareness now notice I have a

shirt because a lot of these studies

deal with olfactory cues so in these

studies males or females wear shirts

they won't put on cologne they will put

won't put on other scents they'll just

wear the shirt in their natural odor

their pheromones will kind of penetrate

the shirt and they'll stuff the shirt

put them in a jar and they'll have males

of females smell the shirts later on why

are these studies really important this

is really cool well some of these

studies show

that males and females or at least in

this study um females can smell

genetic differences

okay so what do I mean by that small

genetic differences in this study they

had males wear shirts put them in a jar

and then women rated the attractness of

those shirts and the ones that are more

attractive had bigger differences in

genetics right in other words the more

different genetics you are the more

likely you are to fight off diseases

your different immune systems you don't

want similar genes right that would be

like incest so women can actually smell

differences uh just from those

pheromones which is really cool

in another study uh dealing with men is

that men

can smell

pre-ovulation ovulation right so what

does that mean it means that when males

are asked to rate the attractiveness of

women based on the shirts they rated the

women who are about to ovulate more

attractive than the women who are not

ovulating right ovulating is the release

of an egg where a woman can be

impregnated right the fur egg can be

fertilized so these are really

interesting studies that deal with smell

and I'll put these in the description

comment box um below in other studies

you might have auditory cues right

there's some studies to show that the

voice of a person can signal uh

attraction so for example a deeper voice

now everybody's going to start talking

deeper in videos a deeper voice

can signal to females an increase in

testosterone right and if I have

increased testosterone it means that I'm

more fertile right I'm more likely to uh

you know have better genes right so

everybody's going to start talking deep

like this so these are kind of these

subtle more subconscious cues there's

even subconscious cues of taste and

kissing and passing a testosterone but

these are the big ones all right so now

that we know what makes somebody

attractive from an evolutionary

perspective what's actually happening in

the brain of somebody who's in this kind

of honeymoon phase right where they fall

in love with somebody and they can't

sleep and they have this kind of just

desire in this craving and emotional

bond towards somebody a lot of this is

based on fmri studies from Fisher and

our colleagues when you put people in

fmri machines you ask them to imagine

somebody that they love romantically

right compared to a dog or their parent

they find us at different areas of the

brain light up when you're in romantic

love compared to other types of Love

specifically an area of the brain called

and this is a big one right together the

ventral

what is it called the ventral

tegmental

area

mental gotta make sure I spell the right

area okay also known as the VTA okay and

where would we find the VTA well the VTA

is going to be right in the midbrain

okay right in the midbrain right then

the brain stem era okay and why is this

area important is because in this era

you have an abundance of what's called

dopa

menergic

neurons okay so what does that mean it

means you have all these neurons that

are specifically geared towards pumping

out all this dopamine what does dopamine

do is that feel good kind of motivator

pursuit of all things pleasurable right

so you have all this kind of

dopaminergic neurons and this is going

to communicate with a few structures

it's going to communicate with this big

structure here okay what is the

structure this is our our nucleus

accumbens

okay and why is this support this

structure important well this structure

is all pleasure pleasure pleasure right

anything you eat cake you are scrolling

in social media you're having sex

anything that is pleasurable you're

going to have kind of all these dopamine

receptors touching on the nucleus

accumbens okay the other thing to think

about this area and this kind of

important is this is where drug

addiction typically occurs right you

have all this kind of uh activation for

addiction which tells us that love is

kind of like an addiction

and the other area uh that all these

kind of Domine pathway is going to go to

is we call the prefrontal

prefrontal cortex

okay and where we're going to find the

prefrontal cortex PFC well that's going

to be right in front

prefrontal cortex okay right in the

front of the brain right right behind

the forehead and that's involved in

planning and decision making right and

we'll talk about how that plays a role

here as well all right so what's

actually happening in the brain during

attraction well a couple things to

consider one is novelty when you start

to like somebody you think about them

all the time right and that's because

it's novel novel means new and this is

really associated with this kind of

boost of dopamine

right you know this boosted dope mean

anytime something's new it feels good

you want them to see them again and

again and again you have this kind of

like separation anxiety so novelty is

Big with attraction you also have this

Euphoria feeling right instead of

dopamine this is typically associated

with with a neurotransmitter called what

nor

epinephrine what is called nor

epinephrine and the reason this is

important because a lot of times when

people fall in love with each other in

the honeymoon phase what happens well

you can't sleep right you're insomnia uh

you can't eat right loss of appetite

all these different behaviors occur when

you fall in love right in the honeymoon

attraction phase and all that's related

to kind of this this you know fight or

flight stress hormone that feels energy

and Euphoria and heartbeat that's all

part of that as well now here's what's

not great rumination what do I mean that

rumination means fixation you're fixated

right you think about this person all

the time you can't get this person out

of your head and a lot of times it's

related to a decrease in a specific

neurotransmitter can you think about

what it is we call serotonin okay and

when would you also see he's a serotonin

when somebody suffers from obsessive

compulsive disorder so does that tell

you being loved is almost like having a

OCD you can't eat you can't sleep you're

ruminating about this person you're

fixated on them you can't get them out

of your head and you know during a

breakup that rumination is going to kick

in even more right that obsessiveness

the last thing is we have deactivation

areas they're specific areas of the

brain that stop working really well when

we're in that attraction phase which

area specifically we just talked about

over here the pre-frontal cortex okay so

why is that important

we tend to make not good decisions when

we are in love with somebody right we're

falling in love or you know in that

honeymoon phase right so this area

I'll use a different marker doesn't work

very well

right in other words we make bad

decisions we do things we normally

wouldn't do right you might look back

years later and be like I can't believe

I did that I can't believe he she made

me do that whatever it was right so

we're not making good decisions in this

area

another area of the brain that's kind of

deactivated is the amygdala

amygdala this is my favorite structure

right the part of the brain where's my

amygdala there it is I'm going to circle

it right there right the amygdala right

next to the hippocampus involved in

strong emotions and fear and aggression

right in other words we're able to

overlook a lot of bad things and have

those really strong emotions when we're

in the attraction phase right things

that would normally make us fear Fuller

or make us you know emotional we we put

back right because we only look at the

positive things right I can Overlook the

bad because you know I really want to be

with this person right so there we go

there's kind of our attraction face so

we've kind of hooked up with somebody uh

we want a relationship with them and

years down the road we'll just say years

down the road no pun intended we want to

find uh we want to be with them attach

them and hopefully be with them forever

and this phase is what we call

attachment and this is the long

term

commitment

okay I want to be with this person

forever right and they create you know

they give me that feeling of what of

comfort

right of comfort and calm right uh I

have reduction in cortisol right my

stress hormone I don't feel stress

anymore right this is kind of the

attachment phase another word for this

phase uh this is the work of Robert

sterberg the theories of love might call

this phase the companionate love

like you're my companion right don't

leave me I love you right companion love

okay but here's some really big

questions to think about right is why

are we monogamous in the first place by

the way by monogamy what I'm saying is

uh and this is a very evolutionary term

para bonding

right that we decide to mate with one

female or female mates with one male and

we stay together for life raising our

Offspring right instead of being

polygamous like most beasts on the

planet in fact what percent here's a

question for you what percentage of

mammals on the planet do you think are

monogamous that is only find one mate

and they have one kid and they stay with

them their whole lives it's not a lot

right research shows maybe you know five

to ten percent

that's it five to ten percent of species

on the planet are monogamous that means

90 of species go mate to mate and they

even though they might be in a tribe

they mate with each other so this is a

very special thing and why is that from

an evolution perspective what are the

advantages well there are a couple

advantages

um one advantage of being monogamous is

really the safety and survival

survival of offspring

okay in other words if the male is

around right he could protect his child

from other Predators looking to

infiltrate My Tribe right and kill my

Offspring so it's really about kind of

safety that I'm going to be there for my

child and if I'm there for my child they

can grow into an adult and pass on their

genes right as homo sapias we have giant

brains it takes us a long time to go

from you know baby to adults so a father

has to be there or a partner has to be

there for a long time from The

evolutionary perspective so survival of

our offspring another reason is just

it's easier right it's much easier to

sit down and be with one mate than fight

all the time for a mate right I'm just

going to be with you we're going to

raise our kid I'm not going to fight and

try to die to find different people is

just easier and safer and another theory

is often called like the spacing effect

Theory and this is the idea that uh

females would need to space out to get

more food right you need more food and

you spread out and that Force males to

also spread out and then you have just

everybody kind of in their own area

nobody came in contact with each other

everybody spread out in their own tribe

easier safer survival of Offspring okay

so what is actually happening in the

brain uh when it comes to attachment

well a lot of the research comes from

this little guy right here what is that

a Prairieville and you'll find

prayerfuls mostly in North America and

why is a prayerful important well I said

only five to ten percent of animals

mammals are monogamous can you name one

if you think of prayer Bowl you're also

on it right so if we study species that

are also monogamous why what is it about

them right what's happening in their

brains and when you dive into their

brains okay you find very interesting

things okay what do we find well first

let's label a couple structures

we have the hypothalamus

right this is our maze structure right

here right talking to pituitary gland

releases two specific hormones that are

related to pair bonding do you know what

those are let's think about them

together one of them and we see these uh

in Prairie moles is what we call

oxytocin okay oxytocin also called the

cuddle hormone okay and this hormone we

find of course in humans as well and

oxytocin is released during bonding

oxytocin is released during

um uh during childbirth

right because you want to bond with your

child it's released during orgasm right

to kind of also form that bond with

another human being

another main one

we'll put down here is what's called

Vaso

precin

okay and vasopressin is also this

hormone involved in cuddling and bonding

and that's the one we'll find right deep

within the brain of our little prayer of

all friends okay so there's kind of

hormonal uh things going on now there's

also genetics right we'll write genetics

here because you can manipulate the

genes of these animals and also impact

if they're going to be monogamous or

polygamous so genetics will also play a

role

all right guys thanks for watching I

really hope you took something away

don't forget to like the video subscribe

I'll see you next time