"Why Does ADHD Make Me Feel Drained?"

Summary

This script explores the challenges faced by a 30-year-old male with ADHD, including feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion despite high functioning. It delves into the extra effort required by ADHD individuals, the impact of untreated ADHD leading to depression, and the chronic stress that depletes energy. The speaker suggests strategies like therapy, medication, and organizational skills to manage ADHD and improve self-confidence.

Takeaways

• 🔄 **ADHD Effort**: People with ADHD expend more effort to complete tasks compared to neurotypical individuals, leading to increased fatigue.
• 🌟 **Compensatory Mechanisms**: Smart kids with ADHD often develop strategies to mask their condition, which can delay diagnosis and treatment.
• 📈 **Life Catch-up**: ADHD individuals may experience fatigue as they play 'catch-up' in life, adjusting to increased responsibilities.
• 🤯 **Chronic Stress**: Constant stress can deplete energy, as the body's cortisol response is designed for short-term bursts of productivity, not sustained output.
• 🧠 **Internalized Beliefs**: Many with ADHD internalize a belief of inadequacy due to early life experiences and societal feedback, affecting self-perception and effort.
• 📚 **Educational Challenges**: Despite being smart, ADHD can make school more challenging, leading to a sense of always falling short.
• 🏥 **Health Checks**: Regular health checks can rule out physical causes for fatigue and ensure that any treatment is well-targeted.
• 🛠️ **Organizational Skills**: Learning organizational techniques can help manage ADHD symptoms and reduce the cognitive load.
• 🧘 **Mindfulness and Meditation**: Practices like meditation can improve focus and executive function, beneficial for ADHD management.
• 💊 **Medication Consideration**: Medication can be a valid option to manage ADHD symptoms, but should be considered alongside other strategies.
• 🌱 **Self-compassion**: Developing self-compassion and confidence is crucial for overcoming the internalized belief of 'not being enough'.

Q & A

What is the main concern expressed by the 30-year-old male in the script?

The main concern is that despite trying his best, he feels like he is accomplishing only 10% of what others do and is constantly fatigued, questioning if there is something wrong with him or if he is doing something incorrectly.

What is the individual's history with ADHD?

He was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 10, struggled with depression and anxiety throughout his life, and underwent therapy and re-diagnosis.

What are some of the daily activities the individual engages in to maintain his well-being?

He goes for long walks, maintains an active cycle, and is surrounded by people every day. He also has a good relationship and no financial stress.

How does the individual perceive his social interactions compared to others?

He feels drained after 3 hours of interaction and prefers to be alone with his girlfriend at the end of the day, unlike others who seem to have more energy left for socializing.

What is the significance of the individual being diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 26?

It indicates that he may have developed compensatory mechanisms during his childhood, allowing him to function without noticeable impairments but leading to fatigue and stress later in life.

Why does the individual feel like he is not doing enough despite his efforts?

He compares himself to others and feels inadequate because of the belief that he is not enough, which stems from his childhood experiences with ADHD.

How does stress affect the individual's energy levels?

Stress leads to a chronic state of cortisol production, which results in short-term productivity but long-term exhaustion, as the body cannibalizes muscle tissue for energy.

What is the relationship between ADHD and depression as discussed in the script?

People with ADHD are more likely to develop depression later in life, often due to the belief that they are not enough because of their struggles with ADHD.

What are some strategies that can help individuals with ADHD manage their workload and stress?

Strategies include improving organizational skills, using calendars and to-do lists, assembling all materials before starting work, and seeking psychotherapy to address underlying confidence issues.

What role does medication play in treating ADHD according to the script?

Medication can improve focus and outcomes for individuals with ADHD, but the effects are temporary and do not address the underlying organizational and confidence issues.

How can individuals with ADHD overcome the feeling of not being enough?

They can work on their confidence through psychotherapy, learn organizational tools to protect themselves from their ADHD, and adopt strategies to manage their workload effectively.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Struggling with ADHD and Life's Demands

The paragraph discusses the feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion experienced by a 30-year-old male diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 10. Despite therapy and medication, he still feels like he's accomplishing less compared to others and struggles with depression and anxiety. He's under constant stress due to his studies and feels drained after minimal social interaction. He's aware of the need to manage his time better but is unsure if his struggles are due to ADHD or personal inadequacy.

05:01

🧠 Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Energy Levels

This section explains the extra effort required by individuals with ADHD to complete tasks, leading to mental exhaustion. It highlights how ADHD can cause people to miss out on necessary adjustments to regular life, resulting in a feeling of constant fatigue. The paragraph also discusses the role of stress and cortisol in depleting energy reserves, making it harder for people with ADHD to recover from daily demands compared to their neurotypical peers.

10:01

💔 The Emotional Toll of Growing Up with ADHD

The paragraph delves into the emotional and psychological challenges faced by those with ADHD. It describes how children with ADHD may internalize a sense of inadequacy due to their difficulties in comparison to their peers. This can lead to depression and a persistent belief of being 'not enough,' even when they are functioning well. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of addressing this internalized belief system to improve self-perception and overall well-being.

15:02

🛠️ Tools for Managing ADHD and Enhancing Self-Confidence

The final paragraph offers practical advice for individuals with ADHD to improve their organizational skills and confidence. It suggests that psychotherapy can be as effective as medication in managing ADHD symptoms and that learning organizational techniques can help protect against the disorder's challenges. The paragraph also encourages seeking medical advice and considering medication, while emphasizing the importance of building self-confidence to overcome the feeling of inadequacy often associated with ADHD.

Keywords

💡ADHD

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. In the video, the individual discusses their diagnosis at a young age and the impact it has had on their life, including struggles with depression and anxiety. ADHD is central to the video's theme as it influences the person's energy levels, work capacity, and social interactions.

💡Depression

Depression is a mood disorder characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities. The script mentions that the individual has struggled with depression throughout their life, which is intertwined with their ADHD diagnosis. The video discusses how ADHD can lead to depression due to the constant feeling of inadequacy and the difficulty in managing daily tasks.

💡Anxiety

Anxiety refers to feelings of worry, fear, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. The individual in the video has experienced anxiety alongside their ADHD and depression, highlighting the common co-occurrence of these conditions. Anxiety can exacerbate the challenges faced by those with ADHD, such as time management and social interactions.

💡Therapy

Therapy, specifically mentioned as a treatment for ADHD, depression, and anxiety, involves talking about one's problems and feelings with a mental health professional to alleviate symptoms and improve mental well-being. The script discusses how therapy has been a part of the individual's life, helping them to better understand and manage their conditions.

💡Stress

Stress is a physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. The video script describes how the individual feels overwhelmed by stress due to their studies and a lack of proper breaks, which can deplete energy and exacerbate ADHD symptoms.

💡Cortisol

Cortisol is a hormone that regulates stress and helps maintain energy levels. The video explains how chronic stress can lead to high cortisol levels, which can temporarily increase productivity but result in exhaustion afterward. This is used to illustrate why the individual with ADHD might feel more fatigued than others after similar workloads.

💡Distractability

Distractability refers to the inability to focus or be easily diverted from a task. In the context of ADHD, distractability is a core symptom that makes it difficult for individuals to complete tasks efficiently. The video script uses the example of getting distracted while working on a paper to illustrate the concept.

💡Compensatory Mechanisms

Compensatory mechanisms are strategies or behaviors used to counteract a weakness or deficiency. The video discusses how smart kids with ADHD develop these mechanisms to mask the impact of their disorder, allowing them to perform academically without the necessary support or accommodations.

💡Self-Blame

Self-blame is the act of attributing negative outcomes or personal failures to oneself. The script describes how individuals with ADHD often internalize their struggles and believe they are not enough, leading to a cycle of self-blame despite external factors contributing to their challenges.

💡Organizational Skills

Organizational skills refer to the ability to manage time, tasks, and resources effectively. The video emphasizes the importance of developing these skills for individuals with ADHD to manage their workload and reduce stress. Examples include using calendars, to-do lists, and setting up systems that help mitigate the impact of ADHD on daily functioning.

💡Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is a treatment modality aimed at helping individuals with mental health conditions by addressing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The video mentions psychotherapy as a way to not only improve ADHD symptoms but also to teach individuals strategies to function effectively in the world despite their condition.

Highlights

Individuals with ADHD may feel like they are accomplishing less compared to others despite their best efforts.

ADHD can lead to a constant feeling of fatigue and low energy levels.

A 30-year-old male with ADHD shares his struggles with depression, anxiety, and stress.

The individual has been diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 10 and has undergone therapy.

Despite having a regular sleep cycle and being active, the person feels drained after social interactions.

The person wonders if there is research on mental depletion after social interaction.

People with ADHD often take more effort to complete tasks compared to neurotypical individuals.

ADHD can cause a sense of being behind in life, leading to a period of fatigue as one tries to catch up.

Chronic stress can lead to a depletion of energy and productivity.

Cortisol can provide short-term productivity at the cost of long-term exhaustion.

People with ADHD often internalize their struggles and believe they are not enough.

Untreated ADHD in childhood can lead to depression and a belief of personal inadequacy.

Psychotherapy can be as effective as medication in treating ADHD by teaching organizational skills.

Building confidence and addressing emotional blocks can significantly improve the quality of life for those with ADHD.

Medication can provide immediate relief for ADHD symptoms, but the effects may not be long-lasting.

Individuals with ADHD can achieve success by learning to work with their unique challenges.

The importance of understanding and treating the root causes of ADHD-related fatigue and stress.

Transcripts

tldr everybody else seems to be doing so

much more with their life and still have

energy left at the end of the day I'm

trying my best but it feels like 10% of

what others do and yet again I feel like

I could sleep for 6 months straight I

want to do more help more work more

socialize more but I feel like I'm

running on the battery of a small alarm

clock from the early 90s 30-year-old M

male here have been diagnosed with ADHD

when I was 10 um for people forgot about

it life fell apart struggled all my life

with depression and anxiety had therapy

got rediagnosis

nobody here could definitely tell me

what is going on but apparently I still

had the impulse to

share so yes I have a lot of stress with

my studies at the moment I don't

remember the last time I had a proper

break in the sense that I had no oh I

have to do XYZ until XYZ or I'll get in

trouble I've checked everything else I

sleep all right rather active cycle

every day go for long walks have stuff

to do surrounded by people everyday

relationship is going well no Financial

stress or any

anything blood has been checked lately

and everything seems fine

awesome um I might just be stressed but

there are so many people around me that

seem to be doing so much more than I'm

doing I know it's hard to compare

oneself to other people but I just feel

like what I'm doing every day is so much

less

at the end of the day many people even

seem to have time and space left to

socialize hell my battery is drained

after 3 hours of interaction oh

interesting

interesting I

wonder

if there is research around

this huh predict mental depletion after

a 3-hour delay

fascinating after 3 hours of interaction

I would love

to um or have the feeling that I should

take care of connecting with friends

more but honestly I just want to be

alone with my girlfriend at the end of

the day and make some music or go for a

walk what's wrong with me am I doing

something wrong should I be doing more

I'm not doing enough I'm I am not enough

you know the

drill okay so this is a case of a

30-year-old person diagnosed with ADHD

did not get treated started getting

treated 26 now they're doing well it

sounds like they're in a relationship

they're advancing in either with work or

studying they're in a high stress

situation so there isn't a day that goes

by where they don't think about okay I I

got to do this there's a deadline coming

up etc etc and they feel like they have

no energy left and other people around

them seem to be doing the same amount of

work but have energy left at the end of

the day so why is this hey y'all if

you're interested in applying some of

the principles that we share to actually

create change in your life check out Dr

K's guide to mental health it combines

over two decades of my experience of

both being a monk and a psychiatrist and

distills all of the most important

things I've learned into a Choose Your

Own Adventure format so check out the

link in the bio and start your journey

today lot of things going on here so

let's start with this the first is that

if you have

ADHD it takes you more effort to do one

thing than it takes a neurotypical

person until you train yourself

otherwise so if we look at the nature of

distractability I've got to work on a

paper open up a Word document start

typing and then I get distracted oh I

need to find this thing I need to I pull

this thing out I start reading it okay

this paper is over here I don't

understand what this means I'm going to

look at something on Wikipedia once I'm

on Wikipedia on the computer I'm going

to alt Tab and watch some YouTube highly

distractable so if you look at the

amount of time it takes to complete a

task it takes one hour of

work for a neurotypical person and one

hour of work for an ADHD person the

problem is that the person with ADHD

spends 4 hours doing one hour of

work and so what happens is at the end

of those 4

hours you've been like your machine has

been running for 4 hours but you only

have a 1H hour yield to show for it so

if we look at it from an objective

perspective until people with ADHD learn

otherwise and we'll get to

that it literally takes them more effort

to do the same amount of work so this

person is not

wrong but there's way more to the

story the second thing that tends to

happen and I see this a lot with people

with

ADHD is people tend to flounder for a

while and something happens at the age

of 26 very common adult ADHD is an

increasing diagnosis so it gets missed a

lot in childhood why because kids with

ADHD are smart if you a smart kid with

ADHD you develop compensatory

mechanisms so that the ADHD does not

affect your life as

much and so you actually don't get the

help that you should get if you are

failing completely so you're able to

pull off C's instead of straight FS

because even though it takes you 4 hours

to do one hour worth of work you're so

smart that you can take that

hour and you can actually turn it into

two so the ADHD diagnosis gets missed

then what happens is as it gets

diagnosed later in life and people start

putting their lives together they enter

this period And I want to say it's like

two to four years in like really three

four years in where they start to feel a

ton of fatigue and why is that it's

because they're ramping up to a regular

life so I don't know if this kind of

makes sense

but

you know when you first start college it

feels overwhelming and then you ramp up

to it right suddenly like you're not

forced to go to class so you have to

learn time management you have to like

you only go to class three days a week

or whatever you have there's a lot more

like optional stuff so there's like this

adjustment

period when I started med school there

was one hell of an adjustment I just

finished college and then suddenly you

are learning five times as much

information per week and there's one

hell of adust m in your first year of

med school and then they ramp it up in

your second year and now you're learning

10 times as much as you did in college

and then they ramp it up more in third

year because now in third year you're

working in the hospital you don't have

time to read all day but you're expected

to know all of this stuff and that's an

adjustment so life is a series of

adjustments and what happens with people

with ADHD is since they're so behind in

life as they start to catch up and they

become somewhere on the level of normal

human beings if you compare yourself to

your peers like they've gone through

that adjustment phase and you're still

adapting so it can feel like it's really

really really hard for you to like

survive even though you're surviving it

feels very exhausting that will get

better and I see this really with people

with ADHD like in year three or four of

college where now they're like they're

like playing in the big leagues with

everybody else and that's just tiring in

and of itself the third thing that's

going on here is stress so if you sort

of think about your third or fourth

years those are objectively harder than

your first or second years in a lot of

ways right advanced

classes more intensive

material you're writing thesis things

like that there's like other like like

kind of advanced stuff generally

speaking it can be easier for a lot of

people because you enjoy it more

hopefully but the workload is

objectively higher and so when you're in

this position of I think this person

puts it this way I have a lot of stress

with my studies at the moment yes I

don't remember the last time I had a

proper break in the sense that I had a

oh I have to do XYZ until X until XY Z

I'll get in trouble so what I'm hearing

from this person is this person has

constant deadlines and hasn't been able

to take a break so how does that affect

people it affects them through the

cortisol system so what cortisol does is

buys me 24 hours of high productivity

for a week of exhaustion afterward

that's literally what

happens so what what cortisol does is

increases cannibalizes our things like

muscle tissue to give us energy over the

uh 24-hour period so what we're doing is

we're chopping down a wall to get

firewood to survive for the next 24

hours so when you're in a chronic state

of stress because normally what happens

is human beings would recover right if

I'm like hunting in the jungle and I get

attacked by a pack of hyenas I fend off

the hyenas I run away my tribe comes to

save me we move a little bit and then

it's not like there's another pack of

hyenas there the next day then I like

rest I relax I catch up on my sleep I

recover but in modern society we don't

get those times we have chronic

stress so every day I don't my my body

has the system that activates that helps

me get through the next 24 hours but

then I don't rest for a week

afterward and so over time that depletes

your ability to do work so why are you

more fatigued than your colleagues

because

literally you're your body has been

chopping down walls to for firewood and

then you're wondering why am I getting

more cold because your walls are gone so

this is the next thing that's going on

the last thing that goes on with ADHD

why people people feel so

exhausted is

this what is wrong with me am I doing

something wrong should I be doing more I

am not doing enough I am not enough this

is the other problem so why is it that

someone with ADHD cannot realize that

this is not me why do they assume that

the problem is within me instead of yeah

I'm in advanced courses I'm working

really hard I actually object L have a

lot on my

plate why don't they think that

way so if you look at a population of

people who have ADHD in

depression what you discover is that 70%

of the people who have ADHD first will

develop depression later in

life 3% of the people who have

depression first will develop ADHD later

in life ADHD has a positive effect for

depression why is

that when a child grows up with ADHD

something very important happens they

realize that I'm just as smart as my

friends they realize that I'm no

stupider than anyone else but they also

see when they're in the first grade the

second grade they're 6 years old seven

years old they start to realize that I'm

not able to do what they're able to do

it's way harder for me to pay attention

I forget my homework I forgot I had a

test I'm just as smart as they are but I

can't remember having a test when I sit

down to study just like they do I'm just

as smart as they are but I can't

actually read the words on the page they

don't even realize that right they just

have the textbook open in front of their

mind is all over the place they just

realize I can't do this and no one ever

explains to them that this is like a

problem because you have ADHD your

attention is different from other kids

you're there's nothing wrong what what

what is is wrong with you what's

different is your attention so what does

a six-year-old

conclude in the absence of a diagnosis a

compassionate diagnosis and some amount

of explanation there is something wrong

with me fundamentally something's busted

because I'm just as smart as they

are but when I put in four hours I get a

b and when they put in one hour they get

an A there's something fundamentally

wrong with

me this belief starts at the age of 5 6

7 remember that often times kids by the

the by the age of seven or so with ADHD

many of them will not get invited to a

single birthday party and why is that

it's because they don't wait their turn

on the playground because they're

distractable and

impulsive so they don't get invited to

places and then there's social

isolation and then we're also proud of

kids for what for doing well in school

so we're not proud of those kids in fact

what happens is those kids like myself

get taken to teacher conferences and the

teacher would say you know

what Alo is so smart he just needs to

apply

himself if he just tried harder then he

could do so much

more and so what does the kid feel

walking out of that school conference it

means that there's not something wrong

with me it's just a lack of my effort

I'm just like I'm not

my IQ ain't low but I'm just

stupid for not applying

myself they don't understand that I'm

actually applying myself as hard as I

can and so the feedback that these

children

get essentially results in this look at

this statement this is

damning I am not

enough I am not enough and when you

carry this within you then it shapes how

you look at everything else you don't

consider the stress objectively because

in the back of your mind you're not

enough so it's not the stress or the

external circumstances even though this

person intellectually knows that it's

the circumstances you guys see

this like

look intellectually in their post they

say I have a lot of stress I don't

remember the last time I had a proper

break even though they know that they're

unable to connect those dots one part of

their mind is connecting those dots hey

the reason you're tired all the

time is because you haven't had a

break they even went and got blood

tested maybe something's wrong with you

okay nothing's wrong with me let me just

check there's a part of your brain that

knows there's nothing wrong with you the

problem is that for 26 years of your

life you've learned that there's

something wrong with

you and those two things

clash and that's why people with with

ADHD continue to blame themselves even

though they're doing a good

job so if you are in this

pickle couple of things that you can do

the first thing that you can

do is understand how to be better at

working so if you look at

Psychotherapy for ADHD versus medication

treatment for ADHD both of them improve

ADHD the same amount I can someone to

send someone to a psych therapist or

give them Aderall or a stimulant and I

can improve their focus by the same

amount I can improve their outcomes by

the same

amount the difference is that if the

medication stops the effect goes away if

we stop Psychotherapy the effect lasts

for 2

years after stopping

Psychotherapy why so what

psychotherapist will do is teach people

with ADHD how to function in this world

despite having distractable attention it

means things like get really good with

your

calendar make a to-do

list so one tip that I'll give people is

that if you're working on a project find

all of your materials first and assemble

them don't go and look for materials in

the middle of your work so if you've got

some stuff on Google Drive or

Dropbox open it all up and set it to the

side or print those papers out and keep

them there because if you open up a new

tab and start hunting for stuff on the

internet when you are trying to H write

a paper and you have ADHD you're screwed

all of your work materials need to be

organized calendar alarms all kinds of

stuff you can set up a system that will

essentially protect you from your

ADHD we dive into this super super deep

with Dr K's guide to 8 PhD and doing

stuff it's a guide about what is the

science of doing stuff what are the

techniques that you need to understand

that will help you do stuff and this is

everything from like understanding

emotional blocks to organizational

systems so you can get some of that from

therapy you can get some of it from the

guide second thing that you need to work

on with ADHD is your sense of confidence

or the person that you believe that you

are essentially the untreated

of ADHD of growing up with ADHD that's

undertreated CU then you will form

conclusions about yourself that will

sabotage your efforts to do better in

life this is something that a

psychotherapist will help you with and

when I when I work with a a patient with

ADHD what I basically do I have a onew

punch so I'm going to help with all

these organizational skills and I'm

going to work on their confidence so I'm

going to treat this patient as if they

have

depression

and if I can get them to believe in

themselves again it'll change the way

that they look at the

world so this is like the key thing to

do right so you need to learn the

organizational tools that will protect

you from your

ADHD meditation is also great you can

train your executive function and stuff

like that that's what we cover in the

guide and absolutely go see a therapist

third four things you can do you can

absolutely like you know go get your

hormones checked go see a medical doctor

start medication if that's what you want

to do

but the beautiful thing is I worked with

a ton of people who have adh2 who are

very successful and did not start out

that way there is absolutely a

methodology to this in this case is

textbook and if you're

someone who struggles with this where

even though you're doing better in life

it feels so

exhausting and other people seem to be

playing life on easy mode and you're

playing life on hard mode you can still

down the bosses and beat the level but

it costs you so much much

more and you carry around this idea that

like I'm not enough in some way this

needs to be fixed both of them can

absolutely be fixed with some simple

organizational skills and like workflow

kind of stuff you can learn how to study

with a distractable

mind and work on your

confidence that's what will ultimately

help you realize like okay I can do just

as well as someone who's typical in this

world I just need to play the hand that

I'm dealt instead of copycatting

neurotypical kids that's where ADHD kids

get

screwed