What Happened To My Husband..
Summary
TLDRIn this heartfelt video, the creator shares her deeply personal journey of living with her husband Adam's severe and debilitating concussion, which has drastically changed their lives. She discusses their early life together, the challenges they've faced, including a miscarriage and her own health issues, and Adam's ongoing struggle with the effects of the concussion. The video is a raw and emotional account of love, resilience, and the harsh realities of living with a traumatic brain injury.
Takeaways
- 😢 The video creator discusses the immense difficulty of making this video due to the personal and ongoing nature of the subject matter.
- 💔 The creator shares that they are currently experiencing the hardest period of their life, which involves the health of someone very close to them.
- 🤔 The creator reflects on their decision to be authentic and open on the internet, despite the potential for vulnerability.
- 🏠 They mention their small but significant circle of friends and family, highlighting the importance of these relationships in their life.
- 😭 The creator reveals that they have been open about their life on the internet, which sometimes leads to awkward encounters in real life.
- 💔 The video deeply discusses the creator's relationship with Adam, her husband, whom she has been with since her teenage years.
- 🤕 Adam suffered a concussion in 2017, which led to a series of health issues that have significantly impacted his quality of life.
- 🏥 The couple has sought various treatments and seen multiple doctors, but Adam's condition has continued to worsen over time.
- 🏡 The creator talks about moving to a new home on a large piece of land to provide a healing environment for Adam and to give him more freedom.
- 😔 The video concludes with the creator expressing hope for Adam's improvement, despite the current bleak situation and the many uncertainties they face.
Q & A
What was the turning point in the narrator's life that led her to start sharing her life online?
-The narrator decided to be her authentic self online, finding comfort in sharing intimate moments of her life because she doesn't have many friends in her daily life and feels a disconnect when people in real life ask her personal questions.
How did the narrator and Adam meet?
-The narrator and Adam met after she mentioned to her friends about a psychic's prediction of her future husband being named Adam with blue eyes. A mutual friend introduced them, and they started dating.
What significant event happened in the narrator's life before she started dating Adam?
-Before dating Adam, the narrator had to testify in court against a man who murdered a little girl in her town and stalked her, which led her to feel guilty and unworthy of love.
What health issue did the narrator face after her miscarriage?
-After her miscarriage, the narrator developed Meniere's disease, which caused her to have severe vertigo, leading her to be bedridden and unable to work for two years.
What was the incident that led to Adam's health decline?
-Adam's health decline began with a concussion he sustained after a piece of wood he was working with in the garden snapped back and hit him in the forehead.
How did Adam's concussion affect his daily life?
-Adam's concussion led to a year of silence where he couldn't be around noise or light, and he had to stop working. His condition progressively worsened, leaving him with little to no quality of life and unable to do things he loved.
What is the current state of Adam's health according to the narrator?
-Adam's current state is very poor; he is never comfortable, experiences pain, has limited mobility, and can't engage in activities he used to enjoy. His condition has also affected his mood and hope.
Why did the narrator decide to move to a new place?
-The narrator decided to move to a new place that is 50 acres in size to give Adam space to be free and to provide a healing environment, as he had become very trapped in their previous house.
What is the narrator's attitude towards her situation with Adam?
-Despite the challenges, the narrator remains hopeful and committed to Adam, considering him her best friend and expressing a deep desire to see him get better, even if it means giving up everything for one good year of normalcy.
What is the narrator's strategy for coping with the emotional toll of Adam's condition?
-The narrator copes by continuing to create and share 'silly funny' content online, which serves as a therapeutic outlet and allows her to maintain a connection with her audience.
Outlines
😔 Struggles with Personal Vulnerability and Connection
The speaker begins by acknowledging the difficulty of sharing personal struggles, highlighting the challenge of creating this particular video. They reflect on their decision to be authentic on social media, despite the potential risks. The speaker discusses their limited social circle and the comfort they find in sharing their life with an online audience, even though it sometimes leads to awkward real-life encounters. They also delve into their past, including a traumatic event and their subsequent path of self-destructive behavior, before meeting their partner Adam, who has been a stabilizing force in their life.
💔 The Impact of a Concussion on a Loving Relationship
The narrative shifts to the speaker's marriage to Adam, emphasizing his kind and supportive nature. They recount their early married life, including a miscarriage and the speaker's battle with Meniere's disease. The paragraph details a turning point when Adam suffered a concussion, leading to a year of silence and isolation as he struggled with the aftermath. Despite medical interventions and the sale of the speaker's candle business to focus on Adam's health, his condition did not improve, and they faced a new reality of limitations and struggles.
😢 The Ongoing Battle with Chronic Illness and Its Emotional Toll
The speaker describes the gradual decline in Adam's health, where even minor activities could exacerbate his condition. They express the difficulty of maintaining a public persona while privately dealing with Adam's deteriorating quality of life. The emotional burden is palpable as the speaker talks about the strain on their relationship and the public's curiosity, which they find intrusive and emotionally taxing. The paragraph captures the essence of their struggle to balance their online presence with the need for privacy and the desire to protect Adam from further distress.
🏠 Seeking Solace and Healing in a New Home
The speaker shares their decision to move to a new home, a 50-acre property, in hopes of providing a healing environment for Adam. They express gratitude for the support of their brother, who helps with household tasks that Adam can no longer perform. The paragraph conveys a sense of hope and the desire for a better quality of life for Adam, despite the ongoing challenges. It also touches on the fear and uncertainty that permeate their lives, as they grapple with the unpredictability of Adam's health and the potential for further decline.
🌟 Gratitude for Support and Hope for the Future
In the final paragraph, the speaker expresses gratitude for the support they receive from their online community and friends. They acknowledge the difficulty of answering questions about Adam's condition and the emotional toll it takes. The speaker also mentions an upcoming trip to Utah for a specialized treatment program, which offers a glimmer of hope for improvement. The paragraph concludes with a heartfelt plea for understanding and a desire to continue sharing their life, despite the challenges they face.
🕊️ A Testament to Resilience and the Power of Love
The speaker reflects on the duration of their struggle, now spanning five years, and extends thanks to those who have supported them. They recognize the role that humor and their online content play in helping them cope with the hardships. The paragraph concludes with a call for healing and a reaffirmation of the speaker's commitment to their partner, despite the immense challenges they face together.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Hard video
💡Meniere's disease
💡Concussion
💡Quality of life
💡Caregiver
💡Support system
💡Soulmates
💡Public perception
💡Healing
💡Uncertainties
💡Manifest
Highlights
The speaker shares that this video is the hardest they've had to make, as it discusses a deeply personal and ongoing struggle.
They reflect on their decision to be authentic online, despite the potential for vulnerability.
The speaker admits to feeling lonely and having a small, close-knit group of friends and family.
They recount their early relationship with Adam, starting from their teenage years.
The speaker describes Adam as a kind, gentle soul who has always supported their dreams.
They discuss the challenges of Adam's concussion and its long-term effects on their life together.
The speaker shares the emotional impact of seeing Adam suffer and their struggle to maintain a normal life.
They mention the various treatments and clinics they've sought to help Adam recover.
The speaker expresses gratitude for their online community and the support they've received.
They discuss the difficulty of balancing their online presence with the privacy and care needed for Adam.
The speaker shares Adam's desire for even a single year of normalcy despite his condition.
They describe the limitations and challenges Adam faces daily due to his concussion.
The speaker talks about the fear and uncertainty surrounding Adam's health and future.
They mention an upcoming trip to Utah for a specialized treatment program.
The speaker expresses hope for Adam's improvement despite the darkness of their current situation.
They thank their viewers for their understanding and support, emphasizing the importance of positivity.
Transcripts
hi guys
um I've made a lot of hard videos I feel
like every once in a while I swing in
and I tell you something that I had
lived through or been through and it was
like you know a hard video to make
but this is definitely going to be the
hardest
it's something that I've
am something that I am living in
constantly
and something that's happening to the
number one person in my whole world
I put my life out on the internet and I
remember deciding you know two years ago
when this whole Tick Tock thing started
that
I had a choice and I was like I can be a
version of myself
I can be myself but a bit of a Twist I
could guard myself a little bit but at
the end of the day I tried on a few of
those different things and the only
thing that really felt comfortable
was when I was exactly
who I am
and in being that I shared the most
intimate moments of my life and I've
continued to and I think I found it easy
because
I don't want to use the word lonely not
that I'm a lonely person
I don't go out and I don't really have
friends
I work a lot and I have my my group
which is my brother and my husband
I have some you know I have some friends
that mean a lot to me but none of them
live here they're not people I see on a
daily basis you know we snap I'm really
thankful I I would say I have like
you know
two best friends
um I says Chris and Lord
I have my manager who's awesome and then
I have my husband and my brother and
that's my whole wide world
so I found it easy to put myself on the
internet because when you talk to a
camera
I know there's people there but this
disconnect comes and when I see people
in real life they come up to me and they
ask me questions about my life and
things that are going on and for a
moment I'm like wait how do you know
this and and how do you know these
things and it's like does Selena you
literally put this out for anybody to
see a few months ago
a month ago a month and a half maybe two
I finally told the world about Adam
I'm such an ugly crier and I know this
is going to be such a mess
Adam and I started dating when I was a
teenager
I was at this really weird period in my
life
um
a lot of really bad things had happened
and in a previous video I I talk about
what happened with the Victoria Stafford
case the little girl in my town who was
murdered
and the man who murdered her and had a
I dealt with him was stalking and how I
had to
testify against him and stuff in court
this weird thing had happened in me then
and as I talked about in that video I
just always felt guilty and such a huge
part of it and I just didn't want to be
loved
and I didn't think I deserved love
and I was not on a good path and I was I
was Free Falling
openly spiraling
I was dropping out of school
I was being Reckless I was doing things
I shouldn't do
and I gone to this psychic he said I'd
marry an Adam with blue eyes and that's
a story I've shared on tick tock
and I kind of put it out to my friends
like who knows an atom with blue eyes
and he's like something needs to happen
here
and one person knew Adam and gave me
their number and um
the rest was history
we met
and I knew that day
I knew that day
it's weird when you meet someone and
it's just easy
and you're not ever at each other's
throats
and you have a kind of compassion and
care for them that you've just never
felt and I feel like sometimes it's it's
beyond a true love and I feel like with
Adam it's beyond true love it's beyond
beyond soulmates I feel like a psychic
actually said this man I bring it up a
lot but you guys know what I love
but she said we've been together for a
lot of lifetimes
and I believe that
because when I look at him
I know that I've known him forever
and watching him
fade away
and knowing there's nothing I can do
has been
devastating
let me rewind
in 2014
okay let's start I need to back up we
got married in 2013. I was literally a
baby
but I would just I was just like I want
to lock it down I freaking love this guy
he is the kindest sweetest most gentle
soul and when I say gentle and kind
there is not a mean bone in this man's
body there is not
a mean thought
and he loves fiercely and he always
pushed me to be who I wanted to be and
when everyone else told me I was silly
he had my back
whatever crazy Dream I Dreamed up he
made it happen whatever thing I wanted
he made it happen if there was a trip or
a place he made it happen
and I like to hope that I was good for
him too and I remember you know he was
he was kind of a partier in high school
and
his mom worked at the hospital and my
mom had been there for an appointment
and she just said to him she said to my
mom she's good for him
because he he really partied he was a
weekend warrior and I think I really I
really calmed him down
he calmed me down too
I always say everyone needs an atom
in a part of their life
but yeah we were kids he was six years
older than me and we got married so
young and I know a lot of people were
like oh my God what's gonna happen is
this gonna make it through like we've in
total been together for like 13 or 14
years like we're not we're not just like
a fling anymore
but um after we got married
um I got pregnant
like I don't know six months later or
something like that and after that
happened I had a miscarriage as I've
talked about before
I got really sick and somehow I have
been I had my pregnancy had triggered
Meniere's disease so I had really bad
vertigo and I had to leave work and I
spent like a year in the bathroom two
years not working at all
and he never questioned me and he never
got sick of me and he never got sick of
me up throwing up in the middle of the
night because I was so dizzy like
he let me heal he let me lay in bed for
days at the time when I went to a dark
place he he got me out of there he ran
those baths he bought me those ice
creams he did everything
[Music]
I started this candle company in 2016
when I was feeling better and it was
awesome and even though he worked five
days a week on that Saturday he'd wake
up at Buck crack in the morning and he
would help me lug all those candles to
the market and he'd be there at six
o'clock and he would help me set up all
these candles and sell them and like
this is so not this dude's thing
Adam is a dude's dude like when I say he
is a dude's dude he played hockey
growing up
he loves fishing he loves biking he
loves hiking he was such an Outdoorsman
like he can golf like nobody's business
he can fish like nobody's business he
loved mountain biking it was go go go he
had so much fun going and going on trips
with his family and his friends and
making memories
in May 2017
he was in the backyard working on his
garden
and there was this post it was a two by
four or a two by two and it was stuck in
the ground he was wrenching on it and he
was wrenching on it and it snuck back
and it hit him Square here
in the forehead
and he hit himself hard but he didn't
really think anything of it
it was a really hot day maybe it was
June
but it was really hot with the human X
it was it was hot like here in Canada
even though it can be early in summer or
late in Spring we can have some really
really hot days
and he kept working
that was on the Saturday or the Sunday
Monday he went to work
and he called me and he was like
something's wrong I don't feel right
comes home
he's white as a ghost and he is blue he
has these big blue bags under his eyes
and like dramatic looking and I was like
we need to go to the hospital
so while we're there the emergency
doctor you know says yeah you definitely
have a concussion let's get you a
doctor's note for a few days off
so he took a few days off
in the few days
turned into the year of Silence
couldn't go back to work
I sold off The Candle Company
we couldn't have the TV on there
couldn't be music
and he sat in this Lazy Boy chair
in silence
not much light
no sound
for a year
but we had hope
and he went to a special clinic for his
brain
he got better a little bit
got back to work
but something wasn't right still
one day we decided we're gonna go for a
rum
and he ran
we ran hard we're like we're gonna get
fit this is our chance
and I think we knew that night something
wasn't right it's like his blood had
pumped too hard or something or the
bounce thing had done something because
we had been so delicate with him
and everything got so bad so fast
little tiny thing started setting him
backwards and backwards he'd lift
something heavy
we were at this point where
you couldn't do anything you loved and
that's where we are now
I
like there's a lot of things that I want
to say
but I still want to keep
private
but it's hard because
you know I do let the people in on a lot
of things and then in public people come
up they're like well how's Adam
and it's like I wanted to tell the
internet world and I know you're a part
of that internet world but like I don't
want to talk about it in real life
and that's what all these strangers
always ask me like and I and I love
anyone who comes up to me and I say
strangers but I know your followers and
I consider you my friends but it's so
hard when when you've met someone and
they're like how's your husband and it's
like I can't talk about that because
it's really sensitive
for me and for him
I could explain how it kept getting
worse
but I think I more so just want to
explain how it is now
I don't really think Adam has quality of
life
there's never a moment that he's
comfortable
never
foreign
and he can't really do anything
with his arms
everything makes him worse at this point
he can hold his phone and he can feed
himself and
you know we've found clothing that he
can put on himself
but we have like a mechanical bed
but sleeping is so bad even laying on
his own head from this concussion
is too much
and if maybe in a certain moment of the
night for four minutes he has his head
the wrong way the whole next day is just
a spiral
and I want to keep up with everything
that's going on in my life because
that's the one thing without him
even though he is so uncomfortable and
he is living through the hardest time of
his life
he's like the only thing that makes me
happy is seeing you happy and seeing you
grow and seeing you do all of these
things and do well all of these things
but like
it's so hard to leave
knowing that the whole time I'm gone
he's gonna be sitting in one spot or
laying in one spot
I can't really watch television
he goes in the computer which is awesome
and he really takes care of like my
whole world but like you want your socks
on I got you shoes on I got you you know
helping with the simplest of things that
you know we take for granted every
single day
but it gets really sad
and I hate when he gets sad about
feeling bad for me because I feel so
lucky that I still have him
but he worries because you know I grew
up with a sick parent and he's like I
don't want you to have to be like a
caregiver your whole life but I'm like I
signed up for you and you're my best
friend
but he has changed a lot
and he's not who he was
his moods are very all over the place
his hope is all over the place
and like I know he would never choose to
leave me
if you know what I mean
YouTube friendly way of saying that
but it doesn't keep me from sometimes I
come home and I call out and he doesn't
answer me
and then I just start running around the
house to find him
foreign
just go from place to place sitting
and it's not like we can have visitors
because he gets so overwhelmed and so
tired so easily
and we can't really go in public because
he can't walk very much because he gets
very sick gives pounding headaches super
dizzy super nauseous super like
everything
and like we're supposed to go to this
brain clinic in Utah
so drive for two hours he's he's afraid
like and it makes sense and he's gonna
get so bad by the time he gets there
that that whatever they're going to be
able to do for him isn't even gonna work
because he's gonna get so sick getting
there and getting home because like if
you even bump him
you're up against him wrong
he's so sick
it's kind of like he's a ghost sometimes
because he's him he is
but he's such a shallow who he was
he can't do anything he loved
but he takes a lot of joy in helping me
and
like this set you know Joel put that's
why we have Joel if everyone knows like
my brother
um he's a part of this team and he does
all the things Adam can't mow the lawn
and do the garbage and and help me take
care of the pets and the animals and and
you know everything but like he's the
one that could choose these settings on
the camera and he's the one that bought
the camera and bought the lights and he
find such a happiness in doing these
little things
and that's why I wanted to move
because he's been very trapped in this
house
and we were able to find this beautiful
place and it's it's 50 acres
and he can just like be free
and I feel like it's a really Healing
Place
and it's hard to say that he can't do
anything but at the same time he does he
does so much for us and so much for our
family
but he has other than that no happiness
and he's never comfortable and it's so
specific to what he can eat because
there's so many triggers that make him
so sick and he's always in pain
and then it comes the fear
because like I said if he gets bumped
he's bad
and like I want to keep doing things and
I want to keep
doing videos and I feel like I'm letting
so many people down in my life and I'm
like I don't think people understand
that like
when Joel goes home
you know it's just me
and I have a sick parent and I have to
take care of the house and do all this
stuff and I know I could bring more
people in but like that's just more
stress for him and I just want him
to get better
it was a night and it was really bad
because sometimes he can't sleep and it
goes to such a dark place
and he just said he's like I would give
up the rest of my life for one good year
with you
one year where we could just be normal
like not even do stuff but just be
normal again
how is the saddest thing I'd ever heard
because Adam was everyone's favorite
the life of the party
the best cook
the best golf partner
best fish enthusiast
he had so much fun living
yeah
he
completely took advantage of being alive
he was the one that fixed everything
and I just wish that
I could fix him
but the brain is hard
and there's so many uncertainties and
there's so many questions and we've seen
and talked to so many doctors but 99 of
the things we've already done and the
things that we haven't done we can't do
because it makes it worse or or we try
it for them and it does it just makes it
worse
and then it's just fearful of trying
anything because if he goes back even
farther than he is
it can't
we had a conversation the other day
anytime I'm in the tub he has to go the
washroom
and he was just like
you can really have it all and have
absolutely nothing
I would give up everything
for him to be better
I'm so scared it's something that we
don't even think of like I know that
it's this concussion but I'm like is
there this blood clot somewhere is there
like a tumor because we go to all these
different doctors and everyone has a
different opinion
and then I hear these things that scare
me and
his sister passed away at his age
and if I didn't have Adam
if the world didn't have Adam
he's my best friend
but it's been hard to watch him fade
away
I wish I had a list of questions I could
answer
I feel like I missed a million things
we're going away
to Utah to try a program that is
apparently the best in all of America
and they say things like 70 of patients
leave 50 better than they were
50 percent
we take 10.
it's dark around here
it's very quiet
it's pretty tense
but I have hope
I know a lot of the time he doesn't
but I do
I just want to make this video because
it's my number one asked question
and I appreciate how much you guys love
him
and he appreciates it
and he loves hearing about the top
comments on videos
and I hope it answers enough things so
hopefully some people don't ask me in
public because they ask and then
immediately I just want to start crying
I just wanted to get better because I
love my brother and he does all the
things with me like he goes to all my
trips with me in LA and stuff like that
but like
I know Adam wants to be there
he's my biggest cheerleader and I know
he wants to meet these people but he
can't even Shake someone's hand
I just want him back
it's been
five years
and it's just never been this bad
thank you for watching this
thank you for supporting me
I know I do silly funny stuff but that
is
what gets me through
I feel like a lot of the saddest darkest
people out there are always you know
into comedy
thank you to my friends for sticking
with me
thanks to my my manager for always
having my back
but I just need them to get better
manifest
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