Jewel: Clear perception is the way to psychological strength | Perception Box

Summary

Singer-songwriter and visual artist Jewel shares her journey of self-discovery and the importance of honesty in connecting with others. She discusses her synesthesia, the impact of her upbringing on her personality, and her realization of the need to look inward for personal growth. Jewel's story includes overcoming homelessness, embracing vulnerability, and the power of truth in her life and art, highlighting her commitment to personal healing and the pursuit of happiness.

Takeaways

• 🎨 Jewel identifies as a singer-songwriter, visual artist, and works in behavioral health, highlighting her multifaceted career.
• 🌈 She experiences synesthesia, associating colors with sounds, which enriches her creative process.
• 🔍 Jewel's journey of self-discovery has been iterative, with periods of disconnection and reconnection with her inner self.
• 🍊 A pivotal moment in her self-awareness came through the metaphor of an orange, realizing how her upbringing influenced her personality traits.
• 🏠 At 18, facing homelessness and challenging circumstances, Jewel chose honesty and vulnerability as a means to connect with others.
• 🎤 Her first intimate performance in a coffee shop, where she shared her deepest truths, marked a turning point in her life and career.
• 🌟 Jewel believes that being honest and open makes her safer and more connected in the world, rather than being guarded.
• 🔄 She uses the metaphor of a river to redirect feelings of shame and agitation, helping her to regain composure and clarity.
• 💔 Being loved is a source of fear for Jewel due to her past experiences with abandonment and abuse, which she continually works to heal.
• 🔑 The realization that her mother was not who she thought, and the costs associated with that, led to her mantra 'The Truth Wins'.
• 👀 Jewel emphasizes the importance of perception and the power it holds in one's life, considering it a game-changer.
• 🤝 Her passion for connecting with people is a consistent theme, stemming from early experiences and a sense of warmth and belonging.
• 🔄 The healing and transformation of her relationship with her father, who overcame addiction, is a significant and unexpected gift in her life.
• 🎶 Jewel's commitment to personal happiness and wholeness is prioritized above her musical career, reflecting her values.

Q & A

What is Jewel's profession?

Jewel is a singer-songwriter, a visual artist, and she also works in behavioral health.

How does Jewel experience synesthesia?

Jewel experiences synesthesia as an auditory-visual phenomenon where she sees colors and shapes when she hears sounds, including her own singing.

What realization did Jewel have while peeling an orange about her upbringing?

Jewel realized that her nurture, or the way she was raised, led to the formation of her personality traits such as low self-esteem and guardedness, which she used as a protective exterior.

Why did Jewel become homeless at 18?

Jewel became homeless because she refused to have sex with her boss, who then refused to give her her paycheck.

How did Jewel's first show at the coffee shop impact her life?

Jewel's first show at the coffee shop, where she sang and shared vulnerable truths with two surfers, was a pivotal moment that led her to understand the power of honesty and connection, shaping her life path.

What is Jewel's strategy for dealing with shame?

Jewel deals with shame by softening, breathing, changing her posture, and redirecting the energy in her mind, which helps her to move past the feeling and take action.

How does Jewel perceive the power of truth in her life?

Jewel believes that the truth always wins and that facing the uncomfortable truths about herself and her life is essential for personal growth and healing.

What is Jewel's approach to managing her perfectionism in her art exhibit?

Jewel is learning to let go of the need to control every aspect of her art exhibit, recognizing that striving for perfection can be a waste of energy.

How does Jewel feel about being loved?

Jewel finds being loved scary and vulnerable due to her past experiences with abandonment and abuse, which have made her cautious about forming close connections.

What promise did Jewel make to herself when she was discovered?

When Jewel was discovered, she promised herself that her primary goal would be to learn how to be a happy, whole human, and her secondary goal was to be a musician.

What is Jewel's most consistent passion?

Jewel's most consistent passion is to connect with people, which she has enjoyed doing since she was young and finds to be a warming and special experience.

Outlines

00:00

🎨 Self-Discovery and Artistic Expression

Jewel, a singer-songwriter and visual artist, shares her journey of self-discovery. She describes her synesthesia, which allows her to see colors when she hears sounds, and how it influenced her perception of her name. She recounts her struggles with an abusive home environment and the development of her protective exterior. Jewel emphasizes the importance of 'going down and in' to understand her emotions and reactions, which she believes led to positive life changes. At 18, she faced homelessness and panic attacks but found solace in sharing her vulnerabilities through music and poetry, leading to profound connections with others and a realization that honesty is her safest path in life.

05:01

🌱 Overcoming Shame and Embracing Truth

Jewel discusses her strategies for dealing with shame, which she perceives as a feeling of tightness and disorientation. She uses visualization techniques to redirect the energy associated with shame, comparing it to a river that can be guided. She also talks about her perfectionist tendencies and the realization that striving for control is often futile. Jewel shares her fear of being loved due to her past experiences with abandonment and abuse, and how she has learned to heal and embrace vulnerability. She emphasizes the importance of truth, having learned that denial only prolongs the pain. Jewel's mantra 'The Truth Wins' guides her daily life, and she believes that perception is power. She values her ability to connect with others and sees it as a gift, especially in the context of her relationship with her father, which has healed over time. Jewel concludes by reiterating her commitment to personal growth and music, proud of maintaining her priorities throughout her life.

Keywords

💡Inner Self

The 'inner self' refers to an individual's innermost thoughts, feelings, and sense of identity. In the video, Jewel discusses her journey of self-discovery and the importance of connecting with her inner self. She mentions losing and regaining contact with her inner self, indicating the fluctuating nature of self-awareness. This concept is central to the video's theme of personal growth and self-understanding.

💡Synesthesia

Synesthesia is a perceptual phenomenon where the stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to involuntary experiences in another. Jewel describes her experience of synesthesia, where she sees colors when she hears sounds, including her own name. This condition adds a unique dimension to her creative process and self-expression, linking her sensory experiences to her identity and art.

💡Nature vs. Nurture

The concept of 'nature versus nurture' explores the degree to which particular aspects of behavior are a product of either inherited (genetic) or acquired (environmental) factors. Jewel reflects on this concept in relation to her upbringing and the formation of her personality traits due to her abusive environment. This realization was pivotal for her in understanding her own behavior and self-esteem.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability is the state of being open to emotional or physical harm, often involving exposure to feelings of uncertainty, risk, or emotional exposure. Jewel shares her experiences of vulnerability, particularly during her performances where she openly shares her deepest truths with her audience. This act of vulnerability is portrayed as a powerful tool for connection and authenticity.

💡Shame

Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrongs or foolish acts. In the script, Jewel describes shame as a feeling of tightness and denseness, which isolates her. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing shame to avoid being disconnected from others, illustrating how shame can be a barrier to authentic connection.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity refers to the state of being genuine and not false or copied; true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. Jewel's narrative is filled with instances where she emphasizes the importance of being authentic, especially in her performances and interactions with others. Authenticity is presented as a core value in her life and art, leading to more profound connections and personal fulfillment.

💡Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder characterized by fear and avoidance of places or situations that might cause panic, helplessness, or embarrassment. Jewel mentions her struggle with agoraphobia and panic attacks, which significantly impacted her life. This keyword highlights the challenges she faced and the resilience she demonstrated in overcoming them.

💡Perception

Perception is the organization, identification, and interpretation of sensory information to represent and understand the presented information or environment. Jewel discusses the power of perception in her life, suggesting that the ability to perceive and understand situations accurately is a source of strength and empowerment. This concept is integral to her personal philosophy and approach to life.

💡Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by a person's striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards. Jewel acknowledges her perfectionistic tendencies and how they influence her desire to control her environment. She recognizes the need to manage these tendencies to avoid unnecessary stress and maintain a healthier mindset.

💡Healing

Healing refers to the process of recovering or becoming healthy again, especially after an illness or injury. Jewel speaks about the importance of healing from past traumas and the impact of her past experiences on her current self. The concept of healing is central to her narrative of personal growth and self-improvement.

💡Truth

Truth, in this context, refers to the state of being in accordance with fact or reality. Jewel emphasizes the importance of facing and accepting the truth, even when it's uncomfortable. She shares her experiences of denial and the eventual realization that embracing the truth is essential for personal growth and progress. This keyword encapsulates a key message in her journey of self-discovery and honesty.

Highlights

Jewel's journey of self-discovery has evolved over time, with periods of both connection and disconnection from her inner self.

As a synesthete, Jewel experiences colors and shapes when she hears sounds, including her own name.

At 15, Jewel moved out of an abusive home environment, which led to a period of self-reflection on nature versus nurture.

Jewel realized she had been identifying with her exterior, like the peel of an orange, rather than her true self, the fruit inside.

She emphasizes the importance of 'going down and in' to understand one's reactions and emotions.

At 18, Jewel faced homelessness and developed agoraphobia, which led to a turning point in her life.

Jewel decided to be more open and honest with others, which she found to be a radical act that changed her life.

Her first show at a coffee shop was a deeply emotional experience that solidified her commitment to authenticity.

Jewel believes that being honest makes her safer and more connected in the world.

Shame is described as a powerful disconnector that isolates and disorients her.

She uses techniques like softening, breathing, and redirecting energy to cope with shame and agitation.

Jewel's perfectionism is a control mechanism that she recognizes as a waste of energy in some situations.

Being loved is a source of fear for Jewel due to her past experiences with abandonment and abuse.

She has learned that the truth always wins and that denying it only leads to more pain and suffering.

Jewel's mother was her manager, and her need for her mother's love blinded her to the truth, causing significant losses.

She values the power of perception and the ability to see the truth as a key to empowerment.

Connecting with people is Jewel's most consistent passion, which she discovered at a young age.

Jewel's father's recovery and their reconciliation was an unexpected and cherished gift in her life.

Upon being discovered, Jewel made a promise to prioritize her happiness and wholeness over her music career.

Jewel is proud of maintaining her commitment to personal growth and music throughout her life.

Transcripts

Gosh.

Hi. My name is Jewel.

I am a singer-songwriter, a visual artist, and I also work in behavioral health.

Being able to find my inner self has had lots of iterations, times

where I lost contact with it, and times where I've been more in touch with it.

And it's also been a relationship that has deepened.

When I was young,

I'm kind of audial-

I also have synesthesia, and so when I shut my eyes, I do see colors.

And when I sing, I see colors and shapes.

I remember being very young and hearing my mom call my name,

and there were all these colors that when she said “Jewel,”

I was like, “That's me—

that's the name for these colors that I see inside my body.”

Another one was when I moved out at 15,

I was living in a house with an abusive dad.

My mom had left.

I had been reading philosophy at the time, been looking

at the idea of nature versus nurture, and I was peeling an orange one day.

I realized that

my nurture, the way I was raised, caused me to form personality traits

like a low self-esteem, being guarded, not trusting adults.

The list goes on. And that became my exterior,

it became the way that I protected myself from the world.

What I realized is I spent all of my life identifying with the peel.

I spent zero time thinking about the fruit,

and I realized at that moment that I really had to spend

serious time dedicating what I call, “Going down and in.”

Whenever I have a problem with people

or I'm angry or these things are going on—that's all a distraction.

I have to go down and in and understand why am I letting that make me angry?

Why am I perceiving that as I'm worthless?

And that's when I really started to be able to get my life to change.

When I was about 18,

I was homeless because I wouldn't have sex with a boss—

he refused to give me my paycheck.

I tried to get other jobs, but I was having panic attacks.

I was becoming agoraphobic.

I was shoplifting a lot.

My life was really grinding to a halt, and I was very lonely.

And I realized I kind of deserved to be lonely because nobody actually knew me.

And my desire to connect became

stronger than my desire to be safe.

And I decided to do something that was very radical for me,

which was to say the truth out loud, expose myself to people.

- 'This is Jewel.

- Hi.

This is a place called the “Inner Change.”

This is what you started off- what about a year and a half ago?

Oh, yes.'

I found a coffee shop that was going out of business.

I asked them if they could stay open for one more month, and she agreed.

Her name was Nancy.

I said, “Can I keep the door money

if I bring people in and you keep the food and coffee?”

We agreed to that.

But my very first show, two surfers showed up

and I sang these poor surfers for five hours.

I sang to them about the most honest,

gut-wrenching, vulnerable truths about myself.

I read poems. The whole nine yards!

And these two surfers cried the whole time.

And I cried on stage, and we hugged afterwards because it was

such an honest, real, authentic experience we just had all had together.

And for me, that was when that really became a powerful thing.

I knew that would be a life path for me.

That I would be safer in the world,

the more honest I was, instead of the more guarded I was.

I think one of the most surefire ways

to disconnect me from others is shame.

It instantly isolates me.

It instantly makes me feel separate from.

For me, shame feels like a real tightness and a denseness.

It just feels like I'm lost in a fog.

It feels like I can't see, can't see what I did wrong.

I get disoriented feeling.

And so when I notice I’m agitated,

when I'm noticing I'm getting triggered—

I just soften.

I breathe.

My posture is changing.

My blood pressure is changing.

Different biochemicals being released, my vascular system

dilates, blood pressure comes down—

and then I just need to listen

with no agenda.

And so that really helps me.

It helps me when I'm feeling shame to stop and go, “Okay,

this is a feeling in my body.

How do I want to redirect this?”

And so, I turn it into a river in my mind.

Where do I want this energy in this water to go? That gets me back into behavior

and gets me into, “Okay, now what am I going to do about it?”

And then I can start to move on.

Let me think of a good way to talk about because I haven't said it out loud.

There's an aspect of my personality

that I think stems from perfectionism.

It's a way of trying to control my environment.

I'm working on an art exhibit right now, and that means I have

about 5 billion decisions to make. And I'm trying to decide if where

this QR code will take you to Spotify, or will it take you to a Linktree.

And I realized that I was wanting to step in.

I was wanting to manage it, control it,

figure out what the most perfect, perfect, perfect solution was—

and that it was a complete waste of my energy.

Being loved makes me scared.

That's scary to me.

That's a really vulnerable, dangerous thing for me.

You don't grow up being abandoned and being abused—

and you know what happened in my divorce—

being loved was really painful, consistently.

And so, it is really good to check in on that.

It was really important to heal.

It was really important to take the time to heal.

I have learned with time that

the truth always wins. The uncomfortable parts of my personality,

the uncomfortable parts of life are true

whether we live in denial of them or not.

And I've spent plenty of time in my life denying the truth, wishing

it wasn't so, trying to pretend it wasn't so,

and all it cost me was years.

And then I still had to deal with the truth.

And I actually paid a much bigger price.

When I was

about 29, I realized my mother wasn't who I thought she was.

She was my manager.

I had such a strong need for my mother's love

that I was willing to ignore

what other people would have perceived as red flags.

I wanted her love much more than I wanted the truth,

and that cost me, cost me a lot of money,

cost me a lot of years, cost me a lot of heartbreak.

And so, I have a saying now called “The Truth Wins.”

I want to see the truth as quick as I can.

It's actually a daily mantra for me as I pray for the eyes to see the truth.

Power is perception.

Power is being able to perceive.

The more I can perceive, the more powerful I am.

That has been an absolute game-changer and life-changer for me in my life.

My most consistent

passion is to connect with people.

I noticed that I enjoyed this ability to connect to people when I was pretty young.

I don't really know why it happened or what caused it to happen;

it's just like I would see this yellow color and it corresponded

to a feeling in my body, and it corresponded to a feeling

they had. And I just knew that it was special.

It felt like being around a fire,

it felt like being warmed.

As well as, you know, the physical abuse of my dad—

my dad went on to heal.

He got sober in his 60s.

I had done my growth, and we met as two completely different people.

That was an unexpected surprise in my life.

My son gets to know my dad.

It's like a gift I never thought I'd be given.

When I was discovered,

I made myself a promise that my number one job was to learn

how to be a happy, whole human, not a human full of holes.

My number two job was to be a musician,

and I'm very proud that I'm 49 years old,

and I've never let that promise down.

That went really far.

That is an excellent question.

Whoever wrote these questions has done a lot of work and a lot of research

and should be very, very proud.

I've never heard other people talk about this, so this is really exciting.