The Art of Effective Communication | Marcus Alexander Velazquez | TEDxWolcottSchool

Summary

The speaker emphasizes the significance of effective communication, defined as the successful delivery and understanding of information. They illustrate the drawbacks of ineffective communication, such as wasted time and emotions, and the potential for misunderstandings leading to relationship breakdowns. The talk advocates for directness, simplicity, and humility in communication, highlighting the importance of defining terms and ensuring the audience's understanding. The speaker also stresses the role of trust and reputation in effective communication, concluding that it can save time, emotions, and relationships.

Takeaways

• 🤝 Effective communication is about delivering information in a way that it is received and understood by the audience.
• 🎨 Communication is an art form that requires being present, adjusting as necessary, and navigating through unexpected questions or comments.
• ⏱ Ineffective communication leads to wasted time and emotions, and can result in misunderstandings and the loss of relationships.
• 🌐 No two conversations are the same due to the unique backgrounds and perspectives of each individual involved.
• 📣 The speaker's job is to ensure the message is received and understood, removing any hindrances such as extra words, stories, or emotions.
• 💬 Talking for too long can be an emotional burden and hinders the audience's ability to receive the message effectively.
• 🔍 Defining terms is crucial to avoid confusion and ensure that both parties have a common understanding of the concepts being discussed.
• 🎯 Knowing the end goal of the communication is essential to focus the message and ensure it aligns with what the audience should receive.
• 🧘‍♂️ Humility is key in effective communication, acknowledging that one can be wrong and focusing on the audience's understanding rather than personal correctness.
• 🔑 Trust is a fundamental aspect of communication; without it, the audience is less likely to receive the message positively.
• 👂 Active listening is a critical part of two-way communication, showing respect to the speaker and being prepared to understand their message.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's talk?

The main theme of the speaker's talk is the art of effective communication, emphasizing the importance of delivering information in a way that is received, understood, and can be relayed by the audience.

Why is effective communication considered an art?

Effective communication is considered an art because it requires being in the zone, adjusting as necessary, and navigating through conversations with flexibility, similar to creating a painting or performing a dance.

What are some negative consequences of ineffective communication mentioned in the script?

Wasted time, wasted emotions, and misunderstandings that could lead to the loss of relationships are mentioned as negative consequences of ineffective communication.

How does the speaker relate effective communication to a mathematical phrase?

The speaker relates effective communication to the mathematical phrase about the shortest distance between two points being a straight line, emphasizing the importance of direct and to-the-point communication.

What does the speaker suggest is a key attribute for effective communication?

The speaker suggests that humility is a key attribute for effective communication, as it involves being open to the possibility of being wrong and focusing on the audience's understanding rather than one's own perspective.

Why is defining terms important in communication according to the speaker?

Defining terms is important in communication to avoid confusion and ensure that both parties have the same understanding of the concepts being discussed.

What does the speaker advise to do before starting a conversation?

The speaker advises to know the end goal of the conversation, which is the information or message that the speaker wants the audience to receive.

How does the speaker use the TV show 'The Office' as an example in the talk?

The speaker uses a scene from 'The Office' where Michael Scott rambles without a clear point to illustrate the ineffectiveness of communication when it lacks focus and clarity.

What does the speaker mean by 'it's not what you say but how you say it' and then adds a third layer to this concept?

The speaker initially acknowledges the common saying about the importance of how information is delivered, but then adds that it's also crucial to consider the source's trustworthiness, emphasizing that actions either promote or nullify the words spoken.

What role does trust play in effective communication as per the speaker's perspective?

Trust plays a significant role in effective communication as the audience is more likely to receive and understand the message if they trust the speaker, which is closely tied to the speaker's reputation and actions.

How does the speaker describe the process of adjusting during a conversation?

The speaker describes the process of adjusting during a conversation as being similar to an artist making spontaneous yet appropriate changes during the creation of a painting, emphasizing the importance of being present and adaptable.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ The Art of Effective Communication

The speaker initiates the talk by engaging the audience with questions about their experiences in conversations, highlighting the importance of effective communication. Effective communication is defined as the successful delivery and understanding of information by the audience. The speaker emphasizes that communication is not just about speaking but also about being understood and the ability to relay the information to a third party. The talk also touches on the consequences of ineffective communication, such as wasted time, emotional strain, and potential misunderstandings leading to relationship losses. The speaker's personal experience in sharing his Christian faith with diverse individuals underscores the uniqueness of each conversation and the necessity to adapt and navigate through various interactions.

05:01

💬 Simplicity and Directness in Communication

This paragraph delves into the importance of brevity and clarity in communication to avoid becoming an emotional burden on the listener. The speaker humorously introduces the concept of 'diarrhea of the mouth,' a metaphor for excessive and pointless talking. The paragraph stresses the value of direct communication, using the mathematical principle of the shortest distance between two points being a straight line as an analogy. It also discusses the significance of defining terms to avoid confusion and the importance of understanding one's message before attempting to convey it to others. The speaker uses a humorous reference to the TV show 'The Office' to illustrate the point that rambling communication can be ineffective and potentially alienating.

10:02

🔐 Trust and Humility in Effective Communication

The final paragraph focuses on the role of trust in communication, asserting that without trust, the speaker's words may not be heeded. The speaker discusses the impact of one's reputation on the effectiveness of communication and the importance of actions aligning with words. The paragraph also emphasizes the importance of humility in communication, suggesting that recognizing one's fallibility and focusing on the audience's needs can enhance the effectiveness of the message. The speaker concludes by reiterating the benefits of effective communication, such as saving time, emotions, and relationships, and encourages active listening as a key component of the communication process.

Keywords

💡Effective Communication

Effective communication refers to the successful delivery and understanding of information between parties. In the video, it is the central theme, emphasizing that communication is not just about speaking but ensuring the message is received and understood by the audience. The speaker uses the analogy of computer programming to illustrate that without understanding, information is useless.

💡Art

The term 'art' in the context of the video refers to the skillful and creative process of communication. It suggests that communication should be flexible and adaptive, much like an artist adjusting their strokes during a painting. The speaker likens communication to a song-and-dance, requiring presence and adjustment to navigate through various conversational elements.

💡Wasted Time

Wasted time is identified as one of the consequences of ineffective communication. The video script mentions it as a result of conversations that are unnecessarily long, leading to the unnecessary expenditure of time that could have been used more productively.

💡Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings are depicted as a negative outcome of poor communication in the script. They can occur when the message is not clearly received or understood, potentially leading to conflicts or the deterioration of relationships, as highlighted by the speaker's question about relationship losses due to misunderstandings.

💡Humility

Humility is presented as a key attribute for effective communication. It involves recognizing that one can be wrong and being open to opposing viewpoints. The speaker also mentions that humility means focusing on the audience rather than oneself, which helps in presenting information in a way that the audience can best receive.

💡Diarrhea of the Mouth

This is a metaphor used in the script to describe a communication style where individuals speak excessively without making a clear point. It serves as an example of how not to communicate, as it can lead to confusion and frustration for the listener.

💡Simplicity

Simplicity is emphasized as a crucial aspect of effective communication. The speaker quotes Albert Einstein to stress that if one cannot explain something simply, they do not understand it well enough. Simplicity helps in making the message clear and easily understandable to the audience.

💡Defining Terms

Defining terms is important to avoid confusion and ensure that all parties in a conversation have a common understanding of the concepts being discussed. The video script suggests asking for the other person's understanding of a term to clarify any discrepancies in meaning.

💡End Goal

The end goal in communication is to have the audience receive and understand the intended message. The speaker advises being clear about what information or message one wants the audience to take away, which helps in structuring the communication effectively.

💡Trust

Trust is highlighted as a fundamental component of communication. If the audience does not trust the speaker, the message is less likely to be accepted. The speaker also connects trust to reputation, noting that a poor reputation can undermine the effectiveness of one's words.

💡Active Listening

Active listening is portrayed as an essential part of two-way communication. It involves giving full attention and respect to the speaker when not the one communicating. The script implies that active listening is as important as speaking in ensuring effective communication.

Highlights

The importance of effective communication is introduced through interactive questions with the audience.

Effective communication is defined as the successful delivery and understanding of information by the audience.

The analogy of computer programming is used to illustrate the pointlessness of unreceived or misunderstood information.

The concept of communication as an art form is introduced, emphasizing the need for adaptability and presence in conversations.

The consequences of ineffective communication, such as wasted time and emotions, are discussed.

The potential for misunderstandings leading to the loss of relationships is highlighted.

The speaker's personal experience in sharing his Christian faith and the uniqueness of each conversation is shared.

The necessity of adjusting communication to ensure the message is received and understood is emphasized.

The removal of unnecessary words, stories, and emotions from speech to enhance effective communication is suggested.

A humorous analogy of 'diarrhea of the mouth' is used to describe excessive talking without making a point.

The mathematical principle of the shortest distance between two points is applied to the concept of direct communication.

Albert Einstein's quote on simplicity in explanation is referenced to stress the importance of clear communication.

The necessity of defining terms to avoid confusion in communication is discussed.

The Office TV show is humorously referenced to illustrate ineffective communication in everyday life.

Humility is identified as a key component of effective communication, including the willingness to be wrong and focus on the audience.

The importance of trustworthiness in communication is emphasized, noting that actions can either promote or nullify words.

Active listening as part of effective communication is stressed, advocating for giving full attention and respect to the speaker.

The benefits of effective communication, such as saving time, emotions, and potentially relationships, are summarized.

The speech concludes with a reminder of the value of effective communication and a note of thanks to the audience.

Transcripts

I want to start off my talk this evening

by asking a few questions if any of

these questions apply to you please

kindly raise your hand

question number one have any of you here

ever felt like you've been held hostage

in a conversation before you may lower

your hands thank you

question number two have any of you here

ever been part of a conversation where

you know the person talking could have

said what they needed to say much faster

and with many fewer words this is my

last question this is going to tell me

how honest and real of an audience you

guys are this evening how many of you

have been the person in a conversation

talking way longer than you needed to be

a couple you got shy with that last

question well the title of my talk this

evening is the art of effective

communication and I want to define those

terms communication can be simply

defined as the delivering of information

now effective communication is when that

information is actually received by your

audience because it doesn't matter how

great your delivery is your

communication is ineffective if the

information isn't actually received by

your audience and I'll take it a step

further not only should information be

received by your audience but it also

needs to be understood by your audience

here's an example let's say I put you in

front of a computer on that computer

screen as a bunch of computer

programming if you're not a computer

programmer that information makes no

sense to you

so although the information has been

delivered without understanding the

information in front of you that

information is useless and I want to

take it a step further I truly believe

that communication is mostly effective

when your audience is able to take the

information that you've given them and

then relay it to another third party

because that shows you that they truly

got it they truly receive the

information and they truly understood it

to the point where they're able to share

it with someone else now I want to

define art art is really it's going with

the flow

it's being in the zone it's being

present and adjusting as necessary

because you can have all the structure

in the world but you have to learn how

to navigate through conversations you

may need to navigate through questions

or rebuttals or comments that you may

never have heard before and

communication really is an art form

it's like a song-and-dance communication

kind of reminds me of painting a

painting let's say your original idea

was to make a left stroke with the color

orange but in the middle of the process

you decide that a right stroke with the

color yellow is more appropriate it's

about being in the zone and adjusting as

necessary so why should we even care

about effective communication well we

should care about effective

communication because these are some of

the results of ineffective communication

number one on the list is wasted time we

waste so much time due to ineffective

communication and I highly doubt anyone

here wants to waste their time on

purpose secondly we also waste emotions

to see along with wasted time

conversations dragged on much longer

than they need to and with that our

emotions dragged on much longer than

they need to see ineffective

communication also leads to

misunderstandings and misunderstandings

could lead to the eventual loss of

relationships

has anyone ever lost a relationship due

to a misunderstanding so you see the

need for effective communication now I'm

not here to proselytize but outside of

this forum I share my Christian faith a

lot and over the years in doing so I've

literally had thousands of conversations

with thousands of different people and

these people are from every background

and walk of life you can imagine and you

know what I've learned from that

experience no two conversations are ever

the same and that's because no two

people are ever the same now there may

be similarities but you will never find

a carbon-copy conversation so you have

to learn how to navigate through

questions and rebuttals you may need to

explain an idea in a different way if

your audience didn't receive it the

first time so your job is a

Euna cater is to deliver a message and

make sure that message is received and

understood by your audience point-blank

that's it

anything that stops or hinders your

audience from receiving that information

it needs to be removed from your speech

and this includes removing things like

extra words extra stories and even extra

emotions see one of the biggest

hindrances to effective communication is

talking for way longer than we need to

and this is not only because we're

dealing with people's short attention

spans but when you talk longer than

necessary you become an emotional burden

have you ever felt drained after having

a conversation with someone no that's no

one here right I'm talking to a

different audience you feel drained and

see this brings up a very serious issue

there are people out there that suffer

from a very serious disease and you in

the audience you may know someone who

suffers from this disease and this

disease is commonly known as diarrhea of

the mouth where it feels like a dam just

broken the floodwaters are gushing out

these people will literally use just

about every word in the English language

and yet make no point oh it's a problem

see problems arise when communication

and conversations become more about the

person wanting to be heard than actually

delivering information now there's a

mathematical phrase that says the

shortest distance between two points is

a straight line

now this can refer to direct

communication because after all a

straight line gets straight to the point

not giving third-party comments and

hoping that your message gets across to

your audience here's an example let's

say you're angry at someone instead of

directly telling them that you're angry

instead of directly telling them why

you're angry and potentially sitting

down and coming to a peaceful resolution

you may give them the cold shoulder you

might leave their texts on read I can't

stay

that by the way you might huff and puff

when you're around them and slam doors

not that any of you here have ever done

that but we do all these things hoping

that this message will get across that

they'll understand that I'm mad at them

instead of directly telling them that

I'm mad at them see when you speak you

need to understand that simplicity is

key Albert Einstein once said that if

you can't explain it simply you don't

understand it well enough I'll say that

again Albert Einstein once said that if

you can't explain it simply you don't

understand it well enough now one of the

biggest things is defining your terms

defining your terms is huge and this is

why you can end up using the same word

as someone else and having different

definitions as to what that word means

and one of the best ways to clear this

up is by asking the following question

what does that mean to you what does

that word mean to you what does that

phrase mean to you what does that

sentence mean to you because that will

clear up confusion now before you start

you need to know what your end goal is

what do I want my audience to receive

what's the information or message that I

want them to receive you know I'm a huge

fan of the TV show the office we have

any office Branson here yeah my people I

love it so writing the speech reminded

me of a scene from The Office there's a

scene where Michael Scott is talking to

his boss David Wallace David wants to

know why his branch is so successful and

Michael says David my philosophy is

basically this don't ever for any reason

under any circumstance whatsoever and

he's literally just rambling on and on

and later on he goes to be interviewed

by the camera and he says sometimes I'll

start a sentence and I don't even know

where it's going I just hope I find it

along the way now that's funny

on TV not so much when we're dealing

with people one-on-one in the real world

I truly feel that one of the biggest

things if not the biggest thing that

effective communication requires is the

following humility

humility is key when it comes to

effective communication and there are

really two keys to humility number one

is that you can always be wrong you can

always be wrong when you understand that

you can always be wrong you can still

present confidently but when you

understand that you can be wrong you are

then willing and able to listen to

opposing viewpoints listening to other

people's opinions listening to other

people's arguments and their facts the

second key to humility is this it is not

about you it's about your audience see

when you understand that it's not about

you and it's about your audience you

will then present information the best

way that your audience will receive it

not necessarily the way you think it

best sounds now there's three things I

want to point out two of them you might

be familiar with already you may have

heard it said it's not what you say but

it's how you say it well guess what it

is what you say you have to know what

you're talking about one of the worst

things is being a part of a conversation

listening to someone talk about

something you know they know nothing

about and secondly it is how you say a

tone allottee matters you know if you're

speaking to someone with a harsh or

abrasive tone if you're angry or

condescending towards them or any number

of negative tones that will hinder your

audience from receiving your message and

I want to add a third layer to this

because it's not just what is said or

how it's said but the third layer is

this is what's being said coming from a

trustworthy source see Trust is a big

part of communication if your audience

doesn't trust you then your words will

fall on deaf ears and it's really

interesting how reputation ties into

this because see if your reputation is a

hot mess no one will listen to a word

you say and why should they

why should anyone listen to the words

you say when your life speaks a

different message contrary to what

you're preaching and if you're taking

notes this evening I want you to write

this down because I want you

take this home your actions will either

promote or nullify your words I'll say

that again your actions will either

promote or nullify your words see direct

communication and effective

communication is a two-way street what

do I mean by that that means that if

you're not the one speaking and

communicating you should be actively

listening you shouldn't focus on more

than one thing at a time and you should

give your focus your attention and your

respect to the speaker the same way you

would want it if you were the one

speaking see effective communication

saves time it saves emotions and it can

quite possibly save relationships aren't

these things worth saving thank you guys

for your time

[Applause]