How To Be A Closer -- Todd's 3-Step Process

Summary

The video script emphasizes the importance of being a 'hard closer' in sales and relationships, advocating for assertiveness without being pushy. It outlines a three-step process: recognizing the necessity of closing, distinguishing between sympathy and empathy to solve problems, and having a strong belief in the value of what you're offering. The speaker uses anecdotes to illustrate the points, highlighting the need for persistence and genuine conviction in one's offerings to achieve success in sales and personal endeavors.

Takeaways

• 😀 The importance of being a 'hard closer' in sales and personal endeavors is emphasized as a critical factor for success.
• 🔍 A surprising statistic is highlighted: most sales calls or interactions do not include an explicit request to buy, yet most sales require at least three attempts to close.
• 🙅‍♂️ The reluctance to be pushy is common, but the speaker argues that assertiveness is necessary to close deals and achieve goals.
• 🤔 The three-step process for becoming a hard closer is introduced: understanding the necessity of closing, distinguishing between sympathy and empathy, and having a strong belief in the product or oneself.
• 💡 The first step stresses the necessity of asking for what you want, as most people and situations require multiple attempts to secure a 'yes'.
• 🌐 The second step involves understanding the difference between sympathy (joining in the problem) and empathy (solving the problem), advocating for the latter.
• 💪 The third step is about having a strong belief in the value of what you're selling, whether it's a product or oneself, as this belief can influence others' decisions.
• 👥 The script uses examples from both sales and dating to illustrate the principles, showing their applicability in various aspects of life.
• 📉 A cautionary tale from Zig Ziglar is shared, illustrating the negative consequences of not being persistent enough in sales, which can lead to distrust.
• 🤝 The idea that being a hard closer is not about being pushy but about providing value and solving problems for others is reinforced.
• 🚫 The misconception that being 'nice' by not pushing for what you want is beneficial is debunked, with the argument that it can actually be a disservice.
• 💡 The final takeaway is the importance of self-belief and the obligation to be a hard closer when you genuinely believe in the value you bring to the table.

Q & A

What is considered one of the most important factors in success for sales and other endeavors?

Being a closer, specifically a hard closer, is considered one of the most important factors in success for sales and other endeavors.

Why is it important to ask for what you want, even if it might seem pushy?

It's important because most sales calls and interactions do not include an explicit request to buy or commit, yet most successful sales and relationships require asking for the order or commitment multiple times.

What is the shocking statistic mentioned about sales calls?

The shocking statistic is that in most sales calls, no one explicitly asks the customer to buy anything, yet they are there with the intent to sell.

What is the recommended approach to overcome objections in sales or dating?

The recommended approach is to ask for the order or commitment multiple times, possibly in different ways, and to present it in a way that addresses the objections or concerns raised.

What is the difference between sympathy and empathy in the context of sales and problem-solving?

Sympathy is understanding and sharing someone's situation, often to the point of giving up. Empathy is understanding the situation and actively trying to help the person solve their problem.

Why is it detrimental to adopt a sympathetic approach instead of an empathetic one?

Adopting a sympathetic approach can make the salesperson or problem-solver part of the problem, leading to giving up. An empathetic approach helps find solutions and is more likely to result in a successful outcome.

What is the importance of having a strong belief in the product or service you are selling?

Having a strong belief in the product or service conveys confidence and sincerity to the customer, which can be more persuasive than knowing all the sales techniques but lacking conviction.

What lesson can be learned from the story about Zig Ziglar and the man who wanted indoor plumbing?

The lesson is that not being a hard closer can lead to distrust. Ziglar's decision to back off made the man think that he was either lying about the value of the product or not genuinely committed to helping him make the right decision.

How does the concept of being a hard closer relate to dating and relationships?

In dating, being a hard closer means being assertive and persistent in expressing interest and desire for a relationship, which is often necessary because many people need to be asked multiple times before they agree to a relationship.

What is the potential downside of not being a hard closer in both sales and dating?

The potential downside is that by not being assertive and pushing for the sale or relationship, you may be depriving the other party of the value you can offer, and they may end up choosing someone less suitable.

Why is it crucial to believe in oneself and one's offerings in the context of being a hard closer?

Believing in oneself and one's offerings is crucial because it shows commitment and genuine care for the other party's well-being. If you believe you are a good deal or that your product offers value, you have an obligation to be a hard closer to ensure the other party receives that value.

Outlines

00:00

🚀 The Art of Being a Hard Closer

The first paragraph emphasizes the critical role of being a 'hard closer' in achieving success in sales and other areas of life. It presents a three-step process to effectively close deals without being pushy. The first step is recognizing the necessity of closing, supported by a statistic that most sales calls lack an explicit attempt to close a sale. The speaker argues that assertiveness is often missing in people's approach to sales and relationships. The second step is to understand the importance of empathy over sympathy when dealing with objections, suggesting that one should aim to solve the problem rather than becoming part of it. The third step is not explicitly mentioned in the paragraph, but it sets the stage for a deeper dive into the process of closing.

05:01

🤝 Empathy vs. Sympathy in Sales and Relationships

The second paragraph delves into the distinction between empathy and sympathy, illustrating their impact on sales and personal relationships. Empathy is positioned as the ability to understand and help others through their issues, while sympathy is portrayed as merely sharing their plight without offering solutions. The speaker uses examples from sales scenarios and dating to highlight the importance of being a problem solver rather than part of the problem. The paragraph also touches on the concept of 'strong belief in products' as a key to successful sales, suggesting that genuine belief in what one is selling can be more persuasive than technical sales skills.

10:02

🔑 The Power of Belief and Commitment in Closing

The third paragraph concludes the video script by stressing the importance of having a strong belief in oneself and one's offerings, whether in sales or dating. It discusses the consequences of not being a hard closer, suggesting that by not pushing for what one wants, one may inadvertently be doing a disservice to the other party by depriving them of potential value. The speaker uses a story about Zig Ziglar to illustrate how not pushing hard enough can lead to distrust and dislike. The paragraph reinforces the idea that believing in oneself and one's product is essential to being an effective closer and that this belief can outweigh technical mistakes in the process of closing.

Keywords

💡Closer

A 'closer' in the context of the video refers to an individual who is adept at persuading others to take a desired action, such as making a purchase or agreeing to a date. The video emphasizes the importance of being a 'hard closer', which means being assertive and persistent without being pushy. It is a critical skill in sales and personal relationships, as it involves asking for what one wants and overcoming objections to achieve a positive outcome.

💡Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to express one's thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in an open, honest, and direct manner. In the video, assertiveness is linked to the ability to close sales or secure a date. It's about being confident enough to ask for what you want without being aggressive or pushy, which is a key trait of a successful 'hard closer'.

💡Sympathy

Sympathy, as discussed in the video, is the feeling of compassion or understanding for another person's situation. However, when it comes to sales or dating, sympathy can be detrimental if it leads to giving up too easily. The video contrasts sympathy with empathy, suggesting that a 'hard closer' should empathize rather than sympathize, in order to find solutions to objections.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. In the video, it is portrayed as a more effective approach than sympathy in sales and dating scenarios. Empathy involves not just understanding the other person's situation but also actively trying to help them through it, which can lead to successful closures.

💡Sales Techniques

Sales techniques are the methods and strategies used to persuade potential customers to make a purchase. The video suggests that while these techniques are important, they are less effective than a genuine belief in the product. A 'hard closer' who truly believes in what they are selling can be more persuasive, even if they are less experienced with traditional sales techniques.

💡Belief in the Product

Belief in the product refers to the conviction that what is being sold is valuable and beneficial to the customer. The video argues that a strong belief in the product is crucial for a 'hard closer'. This belief can make the sales process more genuine and persuasive, as the salesperson's enthusiasm and confidence can be infectious.

💡Nice Guy

The 'nice guy' concept in the video refers to individuals who avoid being assertive or pushy because they believe it will make them more likable. However, the video argues that this approach can be counterproductive, especially in sales and dating, where a certain level of assertiveness is necessary to achieve desired outcomes.

💡Objections

Objections are the doubts or concerns raised by a potential customer or partner that can hinder the closing of a deal or a relationship. The video discusses how a 'hard closer' should expect objections and be prepared to address them effectively, rather than backing down, which can signal a lack of belief in the value of what is being offered.

💡Investment

In the video, the term 'investment' is used metaphorically to describe a purchase that will provide long-term value or benefits. It is suggested that a 'hard closer' should be able to articulate how a product or service is not just a cost but an investment that will save or earn money in the long run.

💡Value

Value, in the context of the video, refers to the worth or usefulness of a product, service, or individual in a personal relationship. A 'hard closer' should believe in the value they bring to the table, whether it's a product that will improve the customer's life or their own qualities as a potential partner.

Highlights

The importance of being a 'hard closer' in sales and other areas of life.

Most people are not naturally assertive, which can hinder success in sales and relationships.

The necessity of asking for what you want and potentially pushing for it in sales and dating.

A surprising statistic: most sales calls do not include an explicit ask to buy.

The common pattern that sales are often made after at least three attempts to close.

The need for assertiveness in asking for a raise or other desired outcomes in life.

The concept of 'sympathy' versus 'empathy' and their roles in sales and problem-solving.

Sympathy can make a salesperson part of the problem, while empathy helps find solutions.

The value of having a strong belief in the product or service being sold.

New salespeople often outperform experienced ones due to their belief in the product.

The story of Zig Ziglar and the lesson on the importance of persistence in sales.

How backing down can lead to distrust and the perception of insincerity.

The parallel between sales techniques and dating strategies, emphasizing the need for persistence.

The misconception that being 'nice' and not pushy is always beneficial in dating.

The obligation to be a hard closer if you believe in the value you bring to a relationship.

The final message on the critical nature of belief and persistence in achieving success.

Transcripts

I want to talk to you about one of the

most important factors in success for a

game and for actually any endeavor

relating to sales okay and that is being

a closer and beyond that even being a

hard closer because most people that do

sales that do game they're naturally not

as served to be fair most people in life

are not overly assertive but the fact of

the matter is in order to close a sale

in order to sleep with a girl usually

you do have to ask for the order you do

have to ask for what you want and maybe

even push for what you want a little bit

but nobody wants to be pushy nobody

wants to be that annoying so how

do you become a hard closer without

becoming that pushy

well I'm gonna give you a three step

process first step is this realize that

closing is necessary all right here's

the shocking statistic most sales calls

ie a Salesman is sitting down with

someone who has agreed to look at

something with the idea of buying most

sales calls and without anyone asking

anyone to buy anything okay as in two

people sat down with the express intent

that something was to be sold and nobody

said hey would you like to buy that hey

do you like that in red or blue nobody

said it or you go on a date and nobody

said or you talk to a girl you don't say

hey what's your number let's hang out

are you going to date you don't say hey

you know what you want to continue this

somewhere more comfortable you don't do

anything okay

most sales calls most dates most

interactions with attractive women and

without any attempt to close now the

weird converse of that is and I don't

know the exact statistic on this to hurt

it years ago for sales I think most

sales are made after at least three

attempts to close as in it you've asked

for the order at least three times it's

probably similar in game right you know

you hint it may be going somewhere she's

a little objection you sell it a little

bit and then later on you bring it up

and she's like yeah sure right most

times you have to ask multiple times

maybe in different ways maybe you have

to present it the right way this can

grow up for her okay so in sales in

endgame almost nobody asks for the order

yet when there's a success

the order is asked for at least three

times if not more do you see that sort

of like split this is one of the biggest

reasons white guys don't get results

it's one of the biggest reasons in in

business and sales and whatever you're

doing in your life financially you're

not getting results right even if you're

working a corporate job are you asking

your boss for a raise right have you

bothered to ask for that order right

people aren't assertive people don't ask

for what they want and especially with

women people don't ask for what they

want okay so you need to be asking for

what you want so I want to impress upon

you the importance okay so that's step

one is understand how incredibly

important this is to your success at

life your success with women it is one

of it might be the most important factor

but it's certainly one of the top five

factors that's going to be influencing

your success in life so this is

important okay I understand that

importance that's step one step two

understand the dentistry what I call

sympathy and empathy

okay now sympathy and empathy both

relates to understanding what someone

else is going through understanding

someone else's situation sympathy is

where you get on board and become a part

of their situation empathy is where you

understand their situation and you try

and help them through it okay so in a

sales situation if someone says you know

I just don't have the money for it

sympathy would be like yeah you know

it's expensive never mind I'll go and

you just give up and say oh they don't

have the money okay fine I won't try and

sell it to them I don't want to be pushy

right so with sympathy and the client

has a problem

the salesman makes that their problem -

okay or for example with girls I'm she's

like oh you don't have to go home with

my friends so Yoshi has to go home with

her friends okay this isn't gonna happen

and just gives up instead of trying to

solve the problem he makes it his

problem as well okay empathy would be if

you try and solve the problem so let's

look at the same cases in the sales

example oh you don't have enough money

for it well you know we have several

payment plans if you'd like to install

it this way or can you see how this

investment will actually save you money

in the long run etc etc all right so

those may be the sales solutions the

gross solution when she says you know I

got to go home with my friends instead

of thinking oh she has to go home

with her friends isn't gonna go

think to yourself well she wants to go

with me she has this issue which is the

friends how can I solve it they go did

you did you drive with them where they

come from hey I'm going this way I can

drive you home hey go home with your

friends call me after there's a lot of

different solutions and that are

possible but someone with sympathy

automatically gives up or automatically

makes himself part of their problem

makes the problem worse by buying into

it someone with empathy says oh here's

their situation how do I help them

through it how do I help them solve it

and believe you may people in life they

need friends lovers salespeople that

have empathy they need problem solvers

in their life people have lots of

problems if you're the person that's

creative with empathy and can solve the

problem people are going to love you

people are gonna be closed by you both

for sex and for sales

okay so sympathy versus empathy don't

have sympathy have empathy okay don't

become part of the problem become the

solution the problem by all means listen

by all means understand what the

person's going through and relates but

then become part of the solution okay so

that's step 2 right again step 1

understand how important it is to be a

closure step 2 understand your swings

sympathy becoming the problem empathy

solving the problem okay part 3 is what

I call strong belief in products okay

and what I mean by this will go through

a sales example again here people in

sales who know all the sales techniques

and know all the lines do pretty well

Joon who does even better than them

someone who absolutely believes them

what they're selling and believes

everyone in the world should have it

it's so common that you have like maybe

a sales force you have your experienced

sales people you have someone new come

in and they just came out of training

they're excited they're jazzed about the

product and they sell sell sell sell

sell like crazy because they just

believe this product is the greatest

thing that's ever been invented and

everyone needs one and they might mess

up the clothes and then it'd mess up

their presentation they might not know

all the sales techniques but the person

talking them can tell they believe in it

and that comes through alright and then

over time a lot of those people actually

they lose that enthusiasm in their sales

actually go down even as they're

learning sales techniques pretty crazy

right and some people keep it and become

great salesmen okay it's the same thing

in game it's the same thing with girls

do you believe in your

product which in this case is you do you

believe that you are a good thing for

the girl all right it's absolutely

essential that you do and here's the

thing if you believe that you're a good

deal for the girl you also should

believe that you owe it to them to be a

hard closer and you owe it to them to be

a little bit pushy in order to

illustrate this last point I want to

share with you a story from someone

named Zig Ziglar is out now deceased but

he was one of the greatest sales

trainers and greatest motivational

speakers of all time this came from his

early days of the Salesman he is in the

rural South in the town where everybody

knew everybody is selling coke we're

basically pots and pans I'm in this

small town so he had to sit he was

sitting down with someone trying to sell

him some pots and pans and at the end of

the the kind of meeting the guy said

look I got your money right here for

those pots and pans and you're not

getting it because I've been saving up

for years to get indoor plumbing for my

families who won't have to go to that

outhouse and I got the money and that's

what it's going for you ain't getting it

and Zig Ziglar at the time he'd grown up

in in a house where he didn't have

indoor plumbing as well and he

definitely sympathized rather than

empathizing with the guy and he's like

yeah I understand I get it and he just

you know called the sales called left

without trying much harder walked away

didn't sell him any pots and pans about

a week or so later he's talking to a

relative of this guy and she's like you

know my cousin it says he hates you and

takes like why would he hate me I'm a

nice guy it's like she says you wouldn't

sell him any cookware and sings like I

tried really hard to sell him some

cookware in fact if you want to you know

go let's go find him right now I'll sell

him some cookware right now and she said

it's too late he doesn't trust you

anymore

and Zig Ziglar said he was baffled by

this like completely confused didn't get

it at that stage in his sales curve but

as he grew up as a salesman learns the

sales process it started to make sense

to him and here's what he says happened

basically he had convinced the man that

he was trying to sell the cookware that

it was a good investment for him that it

would help him that he needed it that it

would save him money all those kind of

things and then he got a little bit of

objection and he quit and so at that

moment the guy had to think to himself

either wet wait was dig lying to me the

whole time and that's why he gave up so

easily or was he telling me the truth

and this would have been good for me

and he didn't fight for me he didn't

fight to make sure I made the right

decision

and so the fact that Zig Ziglar didn't

push hard the fact that Ziegler was the

nice guy and backed off actually made

the guy distrust him and disliked him as

opposed to making him like him that's a

very very interesting thing to consider

okay

and as you consider that I wanted from a

dating perspective give you this kind of

thought a lot of guys aren't pushy with

girls because they want to be nice they

want to be the nice guy who's not pushy

right but the fact of the matter same as

in sales in dating most girls need to be

asked a few times before they say yes so

if you as the nice guy who cares about

her interests don't push and she needs a

guy who will push in order to sleep with

him well that means the guy she's gonna

sleep with will be the that

don't care about her interests so when

you back down being the nice guy and

think you're doing her a service where

you're doing is a disservice because

you're saying you're basically

consigning her that she has to have

boyfriend's so you think you're

being nice but you're not and again it

all comes full circle to believing in

yourself if you believe that you're a

good deal if you believe that you're

right for you believe you're gonna be a

good boyfriend bring the value to the

relationship then you have an obligation

right not just not just a privilege an

obligation to be a hard closer if you

care about the person you're talking to

because if you have all this to a value

to offer and you're not a hard closer

you're depriving them of that value and

you're consigning them to being with a

much worse person all right so just to

recap it's so so so critical to your

results in sales and women in life to be

a hard closer because most situations

require you to ask for the sale ask for

the order multiple times number two

understand the difference between

sympathy and empathy are you part of the

problem or you're part of the solution

number three understand that everything

comes down to your belief people can

read off you how committed you are and

how much you believe you're a good deal

or your products a good deal and if you

believe it even if you do a lot of

things wrong they're probably gonna buy

in if you don't believe it people are

gonna see right through you and they're

not gonna go with it all right so that's

how and that's why to become a hard

closer even if you are a nice guy

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