How to find your perfect partner | Nancy Benitez | TEDxTenayaPaseo

Summary

In this heartfelt narrative, the speaker shares her journey of self-discovery and love. After a divorce and a series of disappointing dates, she meets 'Mr. X' on Match.com, leading to a marriage filled with unhappiness and self-doubt. Through self-reflection and a commitment to personal growth, she learns to love herself and sets clear boundaries for her relationships. This transformation eventually attracts a new partner who aligns with her evolved self, illustrating the power of self-improvement and clarity in finding a fulfilling relationship.

Takeaways

• 💡 The importance of using expert tools to attract a perfect partner was emphasized at the beginning of the story.
• 📅 The narrator's personal journey began in 2001, post-divorce, with a new start on match.com.
• 💌 The initial connection with 'Mr. X' was made through an online dating platform, highlighting the role of modern technology in meeting potential partners.
• 🚫 The narrator regrets ignoring intuition and not recognizing her boundaries and values, which led to a relationship based on settling rather than true compatibility.
• 🤔 A key question posed is how many people settle in relationships just because they are treated better than in their previous ones.
• 🔍 The narrator stresses the necessity of clarity in one's boundaries, values, and non-negotiables to attract the right partner.
• 💬 Communication preferences and love languages are highlighted as essential components for a healthy relationship.
• 🔄 A decade later, the narrator found herself unhappy and unfulfilled, realizing the need for self-reflection and change.
• 🧘‍♀️ The journey of self-discovery involved reading self-help books, engaging in coaching, and studying various philosophies, indicating a multi-faceted approach to personal growth.
• 💖 The narrator's realization of being the creator of her reality and the importance of self-love and self-reflection in attracting the perfect partner.
• 🌟 The power of inspired action, which involves identifying limiting beliefs and taking steps to overcome them, was presented as a crucial tool for personal and relationship development.
• 🌈 The story concludes with the narrator finding love and a fulfilling relationship after a period of self-improvement and self-reflection, emphasizing the impact of personal growth on attracting the right partner.

Q & A

What year did the speaker decide to get back into the dating scene?

The speaker decided to get back into the dating scene in 2001.

What platform did the speaker use to start dating again?

The speaker used Match.com to start dating again.

Why did the speaker initially ignore her intuition about Mr. X's profile?

The speaker ignored her intuition because she was looking for someone who treated her better than her ex-husband and Mr. X seemed like a better option at the time.

What was the main reason the speaker felt she struggled in relationships?

The speaker struggled in relationships because she lacked clarity about her boundaries, values, and non-negotiables.

What is the importance of clarity in attracting a perfect partner according to the speaker?

Clarity is important because it helps remove what you don't want and guides you towards what you do want, making it easier to attract a partner who aligns with your desires.

What are some of the important questions one should ask themselves to gain clarity about their relationship needs?

Important questions include identifying one's boundaries, values, non-negotiables, communication preferences, and love language.

How did the speaker describe her emotional state 10 years after marrying Mr. X?

The speaker described herself as a sad, unhappy, and unfulfilled woman who had become dependent on her husband for her happiness and unhappiness.

What led the speaker to go on a soul-searching journey?

The speaker felt lost and like a victim in her life, which led her to seek self-help books, programs, and mentors to find herself.

How did the speaker eventually find the answer to her struggles within herself?

The speaker found the answer through self-reflection, realizing she was the creator of her own reality and had the power to choose who she wanted to be with.

What is the role of self-reflection in attracting a perfect partner?

Self-reflection helps heal wounds and limiting beliefs, which is necessary for attracting a partner who is a better match for the person you have become.

What did the speaker do to take inspired action towards attracting her perfect partner?

The speaker identified a limiting belief and took actions such as meditation, affirmations, and lifestyle changes to replace it and move towards her desired relationship.

What advice does the speaker give at the end of the script for attracting a perfect partner?

The speaker advises to say 'yes' to oneself, to what one wants, to what lights one's soul on fire, and to love, trusting that the perfect partner is also saying 'yes' to you.