Top 5 Self Improvement Mistakes

Summary

In this reflective video, Adonis shares his journey of self-improvement, highlighting the common mistakes he made along the way. He discusses the pitfalls of inattentive content consumption, the importance of honesty in habit tracking, the necessity of taking action over mere contemplation, overcoming fear to make significant life changes, and the wisdom of recognizing the right 'season' for personal growth versus social engagement. His candid narrative serves as a guide for young men navigating their self-improvement paths, emphasizing the need for focus, accountability, and courage.

Takeaways

• 😀 Focused Consumption: The importance of paying full attention to content for better learning and improving attention span.
• 😥 Honesty in Habit Tracking: Being truthful with oneself about completed habits to avoid self-deception and foster real progress.
• 🤔 Action Over Analysis: Recognizing that taking action is more crucial for self-improvement than just thinking or journaling about it.
• 😨 Embracing Fear: Understanding that fear is natural when making big changes, but courage means feeling the fear and acting anyway.
• 😣 Avoiding Distractions: Identifying and eliminating distractions, such as social media, that hinder one's focus on self-improvement.
• 👫 Seasonal Priorities: Acknowledging that different life stages may require different priorities, such as focusing on self before seeking relationships.
• 🚶‍♂️ Individual Growth: The necessity of personal growth and healing before engaging in new relationships or social activities.
• 🔄 Adapting to Change: Learning to adapt to new environments and changes for personal development, even if it feels uncomfortable initially.
• 📝 Accountability: The value of being accountable for one's actions and habits as a key component of self-improvement.
• 🛑 Recognizing Mistakes: The script emphasizes that recognizing and learning from mistakes is an integral part of personal growth.
• 🌱 Self-Reflection: Encouraging self-reflection to identify current habits or behaviors that may be hindering one's self-improvement journey.

Q & A

Why does Hamza keep changing his content style in the video?

The script does not explicitly state why Hamza changes his content style, but it implies that his evolution in content style is part of his self-improvement journey and learning from mistakes.

What is the first self-improvement mistake that Adonis talks about in the script?

The first mistake Adonis mentions is not consuming content mindfully, as he used to flick through videos and recommended sidebars instead of focusing on the content at hand, which worsened his attention span.

What is the action step suggested for improving attention span according to the script?

The action step suggested is to make the video full screen and watch it for as much time as available without the urge to click away or change things, which helps in increasing attention span.

Why did Adonis feel like a 'dirty little man' in the script?

Adonis felt that way because he lied about completing his meditation habit by ticking off a box on his habit tracker even though he hadn't actually meditated.

What lesson did Adonis learn from his habit tracker mistake?

Adonis learned the importance of staying accountable and being honest with his self-improvement actions. He realized that leaving an unchecked box serves as a reminder and a motivator to complete the habit the next day.

What was the mistake Adonis made regarding his journaling habit?

Adonis spent a lot of time journaling about decisions and thoughts without taking actual action, which led to no real improvement in his life.

What is the action step for addressing the issue of journaling without action?

The action step is to identify the topics or decisions often journaled about and then take concrete action on them, as nothing changes until action is taken.

What fear did Adonis have to overcome when considering moving out of his apartment?

Adonis had to overcome the fear of change and leaving a familiar environment, which was hindering his personal growth.

What is the lesson Adonis learned from his mistake of being afraid to make decisions?

Adonis learned that courage is the skill of feeling fear but doing the action anyway, and that fear should not prevent making necessary changes in life.

What was the mistake Adonis made after moving back home for self-improvement?

Adonis made the mistake of spending time on dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, which distracted him from his self-improvement goals and led to sleep deprivation.

What is the personal learning lesson from Adonis' mistake of using dating apps?

The lesson was recognizing the season of life he was in, which required focus on self-improvement rather than distractions like dating, and understanding that there will be other seasons for social life and relationships.

What is the final action step suggested in the script for the viewers?

The final action step is to comment on the video sharing one's self-improvement story and the mistakes they are working on overcoming, which helps in personal growth and assists others by sharing experiences.

Outlines

00:00

🧘‍♂️ Overcoming Distractions in Self-Improvement

The speaker, Jeffrey, begins by discussing his initial foray into self-improvement, highlighting the common mistake of not fully engaging with educational content. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on one piece of content at a time to improve attention span. Jeffrey then introduces Adonis, who has made numerous self-improvement mistakes but has grown from them. Adonis reflects on the fear of making mistakes and shares his experiences from 2020, where he consumed content in a scattered manner, affecting his learning. He advises viewers to resist the urge to click away and to watch content attentively to enhance their focus and learning.

05:00

📝 The Pitfalls of Dishonesty and Inaction in Habit Building

Jeffrey transitions into discussing the importance of honesty and action in building habits. He recounts a personal anecdote from 2020 where he dishonestly marked off habits on a habit tracker even though he hadn't completed them, leading to a lack of progress. He contrasts this with the realization that leaving unchecked boxes on a habit tracker can motivate action due to the discomfort of admitting failure. Jeffrey also shares his experience with journaling, where he spent time writing without taking action, which ultimately did not lead to any life improvements. The lesson here is that action is essential for change, and one should not merely dwell on thoughts or writing without executing them.

10:01

🤯 Courage Over Comfort: Facing Fear to Make Changes

The narrative continues with Jeffrey discussing the fear that held him back from making significant life changes, such as moving out of an unhealthy environment. He admits to being paralyzed by the fear of change and the comfort of familiarity. However, he learned that courage means feeling the fear and taking action anyway. Jeffrey shares a side note about his second channel, where he posts raw, unedited videos, including one about conquering the fear of heights. He encourages viewers to identify their fears and take action despite them, using his own experience of ending a long-term relationship as an example of facing fear to initiate change.

🌙 Balancing Self-Improvement and Personal Life

In the final paragraph, Jeffrey talks about the mistake of neglecting self-needs in pursuit of social interactions. After moving back home to focus on self-improvement, he found himself wasting time on dating apps, which detracted from his goals. He realized that he needed to prioritize his mental health and personal growth over social activities. Jeffrey's lesson was to recognize the season of life he was in and to adjust his actions accordingly. He advises viewers to assess their current life stage and whether they need solitude for self-improvement or are ready to engage in social activities. He concludes by urging viewers to share their self-improvement stories in the comments, fostering a sense of community and support.

Keywords

💡Meditation

Meditation is a practice of focusing the mind and achieving a mentally clear and emotionally calm state. In the video's context, it represents a self-improvement technique that the speaker initially struggles to adopt due to distractions. The script mentions 'he gets a notification... but he's finally about to start meditating,' highlighting the challenge of maintaining focus amidst interruptions.

💡Self-improvement

Self-improvement refers to the process of enhancing one's knowledge, skills, and personal growth. The video's theme revolves around the various mistakes made during this journey. The speaker, Adonis, is described as making 'every single self-improvement mistake known to man,' which paradoxically contributes to his growth.

💡Mistakes

Mistakes are errors or incorrect actions. The video emphasizes learning from mistakes as a crucial part of personal development. The speaker reflects on 'mistake number one' through 'mistake number five,' each illustrating a different pitfall in the self-improvement process, such as inattentive content consumption or dishonesty with oneself.

💡Attention Span

Attention span is the length of time a person can concentrate on a task without becoming distracted. The video discusses the negative impact of flicking through content rather than focusing, which worsens one's attention span. The action step suggests making a video full screen and watching it undistracted to improve this ability.

💡Accountability

Accountability is the state of being responsible for one's actions. In the script, the speaker describes dishonestly checking off a habit tracker as completed when it wasn't, which undermines self-accountability. Learning to be honest, even when it's uncomfortable, is presented as a key lesson for better self-improvement.

💡Action

Action refers to the acts or steps taken to achieve a goal. The video emphasizes that thinking and journaling are not enough; actual action is required for change. The speaker regrets spending time journaling about a decision without taking action, which stagnated his progress.

💡Fear

Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat or danger. The video discusses overcoming fear as an essential aspect of making significant life changes. The speaker's fear of making a decision about his living situation is contrasted with the realization that courage means feeling the fear and acting anyway.

💡Environment

Environment refers to the surroundings or conditions in which a person lives or operates. In the script, the speaker contemplates changing his environment by moving out of an apartment that hinders his growth, indicating that the environment can significantly impact one's self-improvement journey.

💡Courage

Courage is the ability to do something that frightens one. The video defines courage as the skill of feeling fear but doing the action anyway. The speaker's realization that he can be afraid and still take action is a turning point in his self-improvement narrative.

💡Seasons of Life

Seasons of life is a metaphorical concept referring to different phases or periods in one's life. The video suggests identifying the current season to determine whether it's a time for solitude and self-focus or for social engagement. The speaker reflects on his need for a season of solitude to heal and improve before reintroducing social elements.

Highlights

Jeffrey's observation of Hamza's content style changes and its impact on meditation.

Adonis's journey of self-improvement through learning from mistakes.

The importance of focusing attention span while consuming educational content.

The action step of watching content in full screen to enhance attention.

The pitfalls of dishonesty in habit tracking and its effects on self-improvement.

The realization of the necessity to stay accountable for true progress.

The paradox of journaling extensively without taking action leading to stagnation.

The distinction between the value of reflection and the necessity of action.

Overcoming the fear of making decisions by embracing courage.

The personal story of moving out of a familiar environment for growth.

The importance of recognizing and embracing the right season for social life.

The self-realization of the consequences of spending time on dating apps instead of self-focus.

The lesson of prioritizing self-improvement over distractions.

The call to action for viewers to share their self-improvement stories in the comments.

The introduction of Adonis's second channel for more personal and unedited content.

The emphasis on the value of community and joining Adonis's free self-improvement groups.

The final action step to engage with the content and the community for continued growth.

Transcripts

Jeffrey starts watching Hamza wow this

is so cool and wait wait wait why does

he keep changing his content style sorry

[Music]

Jeffrey sorry guys he's finally about to

start meditating but he gets a

notification it's Jessica will Jeffrey

ruin his meditation

session

Adonis Adonis has made every single

self-improvement mistake known to man

and also known to the aliens and the AI

Bots and all of them wow he's collected

them

all but it's interesting the more

mistakes that Adonis makes the more that

he has grown Adonis looks around and

wonders why the men of today are so

scared of making mistakes mistake number

one so back in 2020 4 years ago I was

just getting onto self-improvement for

the first time and I went on to my

computer and I'd be watching these

videos like how to get out of a rout how

to start meditating but I was doing it

in the worst way instead of letting it

just play and I could learn and kind of

invest into the video I would flick

through and start looking at the sidebar

of the recommended videos and start

scrolling down and everything if you're

consuming content like this and you're

fully focused and you're watching like a

fulllength podcast or something awesome

cuz that's education but I was literally

flicking around worsening my attention

span and not even learning anything take

your grubby hands off the the mouse or

the laptop or the phone and just watch

it with your full attention and so your

action step right now is to make this

video full screen and just watch it for

as much time as you have you know if

you're in a rush I'm not going to tell

you like force yourself to watch it all

the way through because it's good for my

revenue or anything but the seconds or

minutes that you do have to watch this

video put it in full screen and just

watch it just resist that urge of

clicking away of changing things because

when you resist that urge that's how

your attention span goes up as well

mistake number two so I was in the bed

room of my apartment and I was drawing

up this habit tracker so this is back in

like 2020 as well right kind of like

this one I pin it up into the wall and

it's got like meditation journaling

whatever later on that day I'm going to

take off the boxes and there's one box

that I haven't done it was

meditation I look at the box for a few

seconds and I just tick it

anyway I just lied I thought that I'd

feel kind of you know better about that

because you it was going to be a bit

embarrassing if I didn't take the box

but almost right away I felt like such a

dirty little man and it was the most

interesting thing I actually didn't

improve and start meditating more by

doing that if anything I probably

started to meditate less I learned this

lesson over like a few weeks where you

know I kept on like lying and checking

off the boxes that I didn't do

eventually something hit me and I was

like wait if you leave the box unchecked

which feels uncomfortable because you're

admitting like you messed up that

negative pain would probably cause you

to take it more seriously and make sure

that you check it off the next day and I

realized I had been cheating myself from

more progress not just you know I was

lying and not holding myself accountable

but that I would have made more progress

if I was just honest because I would

have had this very clear indicator that

I had been slacking on meditation so I

can figure out how to add more

meditation so the mistake was not

staying accountable and being dishonest

with my self-improvement actions and my

Learning lesson from this was literally

just be honest have the Habit tracker

but if you miss a day leave it unchecked

because when you leave it unchecked and

your mind automatically looks at it and

you're like oh man you know I missed

that day or whatever it is like I missed

missed being in ketosis yesterday it

kind of like makes you take it a little

bit more seriously the next day so even

though it hurts admitting that you

messed up you'll be less likely to mess

up if you stay honest so your action

step here is to draw up your habit

tracker just like this one here with

whatever habits you think you need right

now and then to stay honest and don't

likee mistake number three so I'm in

that apartment a few years ago and I'm

sat there journaling in this notepad

right and my fingers are aching you know

when you Journal so much that your

fingers literally hurt right so my

fingers are aching one page go over and

two pages Boom the next day I'm

journaling and my fingers are aching the

next day I'm journaling and my fingers

are ating and the next and the next and

the next for weeks I'm journaling I'm

deciding I'm thinking but my life didn't

actually change the mistake was that I I

was doing all of this like you know

journaling and thinking and planning and

all of that stuff but I wasn't actually

taking action my Learning lesson from

this mistake was doing those things like

journaling and thinking that it's really

nice it's really powerful but it's not

the work the work is the work the work

is literally you turning everything off

and then meditating the work is you

hitting the gym the work is you sending

that text message or the voice message

to someone that you need to speak to the

work is making that decision that's

tough right that's the work

thinking about it is not the work

journaling about it is not the work I

spent weeks of my life just journaling

about stuff without actually taking

action and so nothing improved for me so

your action step is to just pause for a

second and think about the topic or the

thing or the decision that you often

Journal about or you think about and

then take [ __ ] action on it cuz

nothing changes until you take action

you can write multiple journals but

nothing changes in fact that's exactly

what I was doing at this point like this

is brutal to say I wanted to break up

with my girlfriend right this this was

like four five years ago right and I

used to journal about that decision

almost every day for months for months I

Journal till my fingers hurt on this

decision but I was just too afraid to

make the decision and I didn't take any

action on it and so my life didn't

improve I used to journal about wanting

to quit weed but I didn't take any

action and so my life didn't improve and

speaking of being afraid mistake number

four I remember debating the decision to

change my environment and basically move

out of that apartment that I was in in

like early 2020 and so I would think

about it all the time I would Journal

about it and I was just so afraid so it

was this big decision should I move back

home to my parents house because that

environment that I was currently in I

was in like this apartment with this

girl that I didn't really have a good

relationship with I was talking weed all

the time it wasn't good for my growth

day in day out I used to think about

this decision but I was so scared of

making a change because I was just used

to this life and it was familiar for me

and so I delayed the decision so much

because of just of fear my Learning

lesson from that mistake is that you're

going to have fear to make big changes

in your life especially away from

something that feels familiar but you

need courage courage is the skill of

feeling fear

but doing it anyway when I learned that

something clicked and I was like oh so

when you feel fear you don't have to

listen to it it gave me permission to be

afraid of something but then to do it

anyway a quick side note if you're

subscribed to my second Channel I post

like kind of shorter weirder like

unedited videos right and one of the

videos I just posted there is called 17

minutes of fear and it's me conquering

my fear of like heights and jumping into

water it's something that I'm like quite

afraid of right I don't know what it is

my legs just kind of lock up and I'm up

on this like little bridge above water

for 17 minutes whil friend after friend

comes over to me to try and encourage me

to jump and for 17 minutes I'm literally

just coping on

there that's it let's go let's go you

got it Courage is the skill of feeling

the fear but then eventually just doing

the thing anyway 3 2 1 go

[Music]

so here's an action step for you if you

relate to that think about right now

what you're afraid of what decision are

you afraid of making what conversation

are you afraid of

having and then just think about it like

this you can be afraid of that thing but

do it anyway you can walk up to that

person and be shaking but start the

conversation anyway that's exactly what

I did with that girlfriend that I had I

was so afraid to tell her that I was

going to leave and that I didn't want to

be together so afraid you know cuz it

was so familiar we were together for

like three years we lived together for

years right and so I was so afraid until

one day I thought like if I just start

the

conversation it'll happen so I sat next

to to her and I like I whimpered out the

words of like I'm I'm I'm leaving and

I'm going to like you know move back

home and I don't want to live like this

anymore as soon as I said that even

though I was so afraid to say it it's

like the conversation happened she

understood because neither of us were

happy and things went into motion and

then mistake number five so weeks after

that moment where you know I I said to

the girl I was Weir that I was going to

move back home and everything I end up

moving back home having this new

environment where I can go all in on

self-improvement I've like shaved my

head I'm like going hard on monk mode

right it gets like 8:00 p.m. 9:00 p.m.

it's my bedtime and I'm just about to

get into bed but I'm horny as [ __ ] even

though I'm supposed to be on monk mode

what I do is I go on my phone and

download Tinder hinge Bumble and I start

spending a [ __ ] ton of time making my

profile and starting to you know match

with the girls that had already liked me

like instantly and having these

conversations and I'm seeing the time

get later and later it's 10: it's 10:30

p.m. it's 11:00 p.m. I'm going to wake

up at 6:00 so I'm literally realizing

like I'm going to be sleep deprived I

start getting weirdly like agitated

whilst I'm texting these girls and

everything and then I just stop and I

realize wait this is just stupid I moved

home to just completely focus on myself

and right now I don't really like want

to spend any time with girls and even

guys I just needed some time alone to

you know figure out my own life and get

my life in order and I realized like

wait what am I doing like I'm going to

be waking up sleep deprived tomorrow or

I'm going to wake up late and then not

get my my morning routine and the things

that felt so good for me and why like I

I don't there's nothing serious that I

want with these girls right now I'm not

in the position to like think about

someone else so what is this like why am

I so like like why am I wasting my time

with this I'm not where I want to be I

don't have those like materialistic

successes that would be so nice like I

didn't have a car I didn't have money I

was on benefits but also I didn't have

like the inner work I wasn't like even

close to being healed from the

relationship I was in I wasn't happy I

wasn't mentally healthy and I was making

progress but that was because I was like

completely by myself and able to focus

on the things that I wanted and so it

gets to about 11:00 p.m. I know I'm

going to be sleep deprived I finally

turn off my phone and as I'm going to

sleep I'm almost like pissed off at

myself thinking like why did you just

spend like 2 hours like if you just went

to bed and slept at the right time I

would have been fast asleep by now I

would have gotten 2 hours extra of sleep

and I would have like gotten to the

point where I feel you know really happy

to start dating again earlier my

Personal Learning lesson from that was

that girls will always be there and in

some seasons of your life you'll want a

beautiful girl by your side but in

others you won't and you need to know

what season of life you're in because

For Me That season where you know I was

just moving back home to go hard on

self-improvement that wasn't a season of

life where I even wanted like women in

my life or even friends I literally just

wanted to like get my mental health back

in order I wanted to like start making a

bit of progress in business and

everything and then I could start

stepping into like the social life again

so here's your action step if you're

relate to this mistake decide what

season of life you're in right now is it

one where you just need complete focus

on yourself because you feel like you're

just not at the level where you're like

happy at all and you need to focus on

maybe the inner work like the sort of

spirituality mental health trauma things

or maybe the outer work like for example

the physique the business cuz if you

need to focus on those things it can be

valuable for you to not have like the

distraction of dating and messaging a

bunch of girls and everything and just

being kind of detached away from that so

that all of your sort of mental

bandwidth is on yourself but also

truthfully you could be in a season

where you actually feel pretty happy

about yourself you've made a bunch of

progress you're happy now you want to

add in more of the social life and

remember that's still part of your

self-improvement too right having

friends having a beautiful woman on your

arm who's so sweet who's so feminine

that's still your self-improvement

journey the question you've just got to

ask yourself is are you in that season

right now of the social life of the

dating or are you in the season of more

of the sort of solo Grind Mode and

there's no right or wrong answer it's

just which one do you really feel like

you need more right now one final action

step that'll help us all scroll down to

the comments of this video right now and

go write a comment about your

self-improvement story and also which

one of these mistakes that you feel like

you're making that you need to get out

of you'll be sharing your journey so

you'll feel vulnerable and there's a lot

of growth in that but also they'll be

someone who will read your comments and

it'll help them and then finally when

you comment it helps the YouTube

algorithm share share this kind of video

to more young men which means that more

young men get on to self-improvements

the top two links in the description by

the way are my free self-improvement

communities you can go and click on

those if you want to join do the hard

work especially when you don't feel like

it mAh