4 Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s

Summary

In this heartfelt video, Sara shares four pieces of advice for those in their 20s as she reflects on her own journey turning 30. She encourages embracing the chaos and taking calculated risks, distinguishing between right and wrong types of failures, and the importance of not making oneself sick from stress. Sara emphasizes the value of intentionality and hard work, while acknowledging that while one can't have everything, they can have a lot by staying true to oneself and being resilient through life's challenges.

Takeaways

• 🎉 Embracing the Chaos: The speaker reflects on the excitement and chaos of being in their 20s, suggesting that it's a time for taking risks and being intentional with life choices.
• 🚀 Experimentation is Key: The 20s are highlighted as a prime time for experimentation, travel, and fearlessness, rather than playing it safe.
• 💡 The Power of Having 'Nothing': Being in the 20s is a special time because you have time and can take risks without as much to lose, encouraging calculated risks.
• 🛑 Right and Wrong Failures: There's a distinction between failures that teach and empower, and those that come from lack of control or being led by others' expectations.
• 🏆 Extreme Ownership: The importance of having control over one's projects and ventures is emphasized, as it leads to more meaningful experiences and growth.
• 🤒 Stop Making Yourself Sick: The speaker shares personal experiences of health issues stemming from stress, urging the audience to avoid unnecessary stress that can harm physical and mental health.
• 🧘‍♀️ Self-Care and Reflection: The need for self-care and reflecting on one's life to ensure a healthier and more fulfilling journey through the 20s is stressed.
• 💪 Intentional Hard Work: Success comes from being intentional, relentless, and putting in hard work, as highlighted by the speaker's own experiences and growth.
• 🤷‍♀️ You Can't Have It All: Accepting that while you can't have everything, being intentional allows you to have a lot and enjoy the fruits of your labor.
• 🎯 Sacrifice for the Greater Good: The speaker acknowledges the sacrifices made in their 20s, like social activities, in favor of building skills and pursuing passions.
• 🌟 Gratitude and Self-Reflection: As the speaker approaches their 30s, they express gratitude for the lessons learned and the wisdom gained from the past decade.

Q & A

What is the main theme of Sara's video?

The main theme of Sara's video is sharing advice for people in their 20s based on her experiences and lessons learned as she transitions into her 30s.

What does Sara consider as the 'sweet time' in one's life?

Sara considers the time when one has nothing but time on their hands as the 'sweet time' in one's life, which allows them to take risks and do 'crazy stuff' without much to lose.

What is Sara's perspective on calculated risks during one's 20s?

Sara believes that taking calculated risks in one's 20s, such as traveling, starting a business, or trying different jobs, is valuable because it allows for personal growth and learning without the fear of losing much.

What does Sara mean by 'right' and 'wrong' types of failures?

Sara differentiates between 'right' and 'wrong' types of failures. 'Right' failures are those where one has control and learns from the experience, while 'wrong' failures are those where one relies on others without control, leading to helplessness and stress.

Can you explain an example of a 'right' type of failure that Sara shared?

An example of a 'right' type of failure Sara shared was her experience with 'Blanco,' a creative studio space she opened with a friend. Despite the stress and challenges, she learned valuable lessons and had control over the project.

What is an example of a 'wrong' type of failure according to Sara?

A 'wrong' type of failure, as per Sara, is when one invests their hopes and dreams into another person's idea without having control over the outcome, leading to feelings of helplessness if things go wrong.

What health issues did Sara experience due to stress?

Sara experienced a range of health issues due to stress, including acid reflux, heartburn, and chest pain that led her to believe she might be having a heart attack, which was later diagnosed as stress-related.

How did Sara's pregnancy affect her professional life?

Sara's pregnancy forced her to say 'no' to many professional commitments as she experienced severe morning sickness and had to prioritize her health and that of her baby.

What advice does Sara give about not making oneself sick due to stress?

Sara advises to guard one's mental health, avoid taking on too many commitments that lead to stress, and to be intentional about one's work and life to prevent making oneself sick.

What does Sara suggest about the concept of 'having it all'?

Sara suggests that while one can't have everything, they can have a lot by being intentional with their time and efforts, focusing on what truly matters, and not spreading oneself too thin.

How does Sara define being 'intentionally' during one's 20s?

Sara defines being 'intentionally' as making conscious choices, taking calculated risks, focusing on personal growth, and putting in the hard work necessary to achieve one's goals.

Outlines

00:00

🎉 Embracing the Chaos of the 20s and Life Advice

In this paragraph, the speaker reflects on entering their 20s feeling confused and stressed, but ultimately recognizing the excitement and opportunities that the decade brought. As they turn 30, they express gratitude for the journey and share four pieces of advice for those in their 20s. The speaker encourages taking risks, being intentional, and embracing the unique challenges and adventures of this life stage. They also mention their own channel, where they discuss tech, creativity, and life, and introduce themselves as Sara, whose name rhymes with 'peachy'.

05:01

🚀 The Power of Taking Calculated Risks in Your 20s

The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking calculated risks during one's 20s, a time when they believe individuals have less to lose and more time to experiment. They recount their own experiences, such as dropping out of college and starting a creative studio space called Blanco, which, despite being stressful, was a valuable learning experience. The speaker advises against playing it safe and instead encourages pursuing passions and trying new things, even if they might seem risky or unconventional.

10:03

⚠️ Distinguishing Between Right and Wrong Types of Failures

Here, the speaker discusses the concept of right and wrong types of failures. They share personal anecdotes, such as the failure of their creative studio, which they consider a 'right' kind of failure because they had control and learned from the experience. In contrast, they warn against the 'wrong' kind of failure, where one invests too much hope in others without maintaining control, leading to feelings of helplessness. The speaker stresses the importance of having ownership over one's projects and decisions to ensure personal growth and satisfaction.

15:04

🤰 Overcoming Stress and Prioritizing Health

In this paragraph, the speaker shares a deeply personal story about the physical and mental toll of stress, which culminated in a health scare that led them to the emergency room. They recount their struggles with anxiety and stress, which were exacerbated by the pressures of work and life changes. The speaker's pregnancy and the challenges that followed, including the premature birth of their child, forced them to reassess their priorities and make significant lifestyle changes to protect their health and well-being.

20:04

💪 Intentional Living and the Trade-offs of Success

The speaker reflects on the sacrifices made during their 20s to achieve success, such as forgoing social activities to focus on building skills and pursuing their passion for creating content. They acknowledge the loneliness and challenges that came with this path but express gratitude for the intentional choices that have led to their current position. The speaker also discusses the importance of hard work and persistence, as well as the realization that while one cannot have everything, they can have a lot by being deliberate and focused on their goals.

🌟 Reflecting on Growth and Looking Forward to the Future

In the final paragraph, the speaker shares a heartfelt message of hope and motivation for their audience, particularly younger generations. They encourage viewers to embrace the journey of their 20s, with all its confusion and stress, as a time of growth and self-discovery. The speaker expresses gratitude for their own experiences and looks forward to the future with optimism, reminding viewers that resilience and self-reflection are key to navigating life's challenges and achieving personal fulfillment.

Keywords

💡Uncertainty

Uncertainty refers to a state of being unsure or lacking confidence about something. In the video, the speaker reflects on their 20s as a time filled with confusion and uncertainty, which is a common experience for many young adults. This concept is central to the theme of navigating the challenges of early adulthood.

💡Intentional

To be intentional means to do something deliberately and with purpose. The speaker uses this term to emphasize the importance of making conscious decisions in one's 20s, such as taking calculated risks and pursuing personal goals, which is a key message of the video.

💡Calculated Risks

Calculated risks are actions taken after careful consideration of potential outcomes and benefits. The speaker encourages viewers in their 20s to embrace these types of risks as a way to grow and learn, contrasting them with the fear of failure that often comes with age.

💡Failure

Failure is the inability to meet a desired objective or the unexpected or undesired outcome of an action. The video discusses the concept of 'right' and 'wrong' types of failures, highlighting the value of learning from controlled failures versus the pitfalls of relying on others.

💡Control

Control refers to the power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events. The speaker talks about the importance of having control over one's life and decisions, especially when starting new projects or businesses, as a means to avoid the stress of helplessness.

💡Stress

Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. The video script describes the speaker's personal experiences with stress, particularly during the COVID-19 pandemic, and how it led to physical health issues.

💡Burnout

Burnout is a state of chronic physical and emotional exhaustion often caused by excessive and prolonged stress. The speaker mentions 'Millennial burnout' and their own struggles, illustrating the impact of stress on mental and physical health.

💡Intentionality

Intentionality is the quality of being deliberate, purposeful, or determined. The speaker emphasizes the importance of being intentional with one's time and decisions in the 20s, as a way to set a strong foundation for the future.

💡Sacrifice

Sacrifice is the giving up of something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy. The speaker reflects on the sacrifices made during their 20s, such as time and social activities, to focus on personal growth and career development.

💡Resilience

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. The video script describes how the speaker became more resilient through overcoming challenges, particularly the birth of their child and the associated health complications.

💡Reflection

Reflection is the act of thinking deeply or carefully about something. The speaker uses self-reflection as a means to learn from past experiences and to gain clarity on what they want in life, which is a central theme of personal growth and development in the video.

Highlights

Embracing the chaos and intentionality of the 20s as a time for experimentation and calculated risks.

The importance of taking advantage of having little to lose in your 20s to pursue opportunities fearlessly.

The contrast between the right and wrong types of failures, emphasizing control and ownership over one's endeavors.

Learning from failures in creative projects and businesses by maintaining control and learning from the experience.

The pitfalls of wrong types of failures, such as relying on others without control, leading to feelings of helplessness.

The personal story of opening a creative studio, 'Blanco', and the lessons learned from managing it.

The stress and health issues that can arise from overworking and not setting boundaries in professional life.

The realization of the impact of stress on physical health and the importance of work-life balance.

The transformative experience of becoming a mother and the reevaluation of priorities and work commitments.

The advice on not making oneself sick from stress and anxiety, and the importance of self-care.

The personal journey of dealing with a high-stress job and the decision to prioritize health over work.

The idea that you can't have it all, but you can have a lot, by being intentional with your time and efforts.

The value of hard work and relentlessness in achieving goals and the importance of showing up consistently.

The sacrifices made in the 20s for future success, such as time alone building skills instead of socializing.

Reflecting on the past decade and feeling thankful for the lessons learned and the personal growth achieved.

The encouragement for younger generations to embrace their 20s as a time for self-discovery and intentional living.

The motivational message to stay true to oneself, to be proud of the journey, and to look forward to the future with optimism.

Transcripts

I entered my

20s kind of confused a little bit

stressed out and everything just felt

extremely

uncertain and in hindsight I think

that's the excitement of your 20s I find

myself on the other side I am turning 30

tomorrow I'm turning 30 the day that

you're seeing this and now I can look

back on the past decade of my life and

just be thankful if you've been

following things you know I've been

through a lot this past year

um but with that it's just being on the

other side of it is just that much more

sweet and that's kind of how I feel

about the last decade of my life my 20s

they were chaotic but they were

intentional so I want to take some time

on my birthday to share four pieces of

advice for you the intended audience is

for people in their 20s so if you have

kids in their 20s if you have siblings

or friends in their 20s that are just

starting this crazy adventure of

adulthood please send this video to them

uh but hey if you're not in your 20s I

think maybe you can you can get

something from this if you're new around

here my name is sarahi rhymes with

peachy I make videos about tech

creativity and life and today we're

talking about life okay number one your

20s are so so special okay this is the

time for experimentation for travel if

you can do it for sluming it for Taking

Chances to honestly be Fearless this is

not the time for playing it safe and if

you're looking around and you're seeing

other people people on Instagram or

influencers or just your friends having

so much more than you maybe they have

more money

more looks I don't know hey this is

actually a very special time when you

have nothing because you have time on

your hand and you can take risks now

that I am going to be the Elder age of

30 I really think through things now I

have things to lose now when I was 2021

thinking about dropping out of college

yes it seemed like the end of the world

but it was literally just me against the

world I really had nothing to lose and

that is such a sweet time in your life

and this is the time to do crazy stuff

and when I say crazy stuff I don't mean

you know go out and party every night

and get you know you can get lit as much

as you want but something really special

happens when you take calculated risk

when you say hm College will always be

here I can always go back to college but

hey what would happen if I work that job

that I kind of hate but I saved away

some money and then I just took a year

off to maybe take that trip and expand

your horizons to maybe start that

business because I think when you get

older and maybe you're starting a family

or maybe you have uh just more

responsibilities you are going to be so

much less likely to do that but the key

here is is not going to be easy to go

against the grain you know everyone is

going $50,000 into debt into college I'm

going to feel left out if I don't do

that it is going to be harder than you

think when you have the pressure of your

parents the pressure of society but I

promise you all of that responsible

stuff is always going to be there you

can always go back to it this is the

time to carp a DM you feel okay number

two that I want to talk about the right

and the wrong types of failures so

people are like oh my God failure is

great because you always learn yes that

can be true but through experience

through trying so many things I have

learned there are actually right and

wrong types of failures okay I've had a

lot of people waste my time I stuck

around for the hope of something that

the other person could deliver for me no

no no no listen you can only count on

yourself to really move the needle in

your life of course doing life with

others you're going to have to do that

because not only does building something

exciting require other people but at the

same time it's fun to do things with

other people you just need to make sure

that you are Spirit heading that because

no one is going to work for the thing

that you want as hard as you will you

know okay so here's a few examples let's

enter the realm of starting new creative

projects or businesses failures in that

in that uh realm I'm going to start with

the right kind of failures that I've

experienced and I've learned from and I

don't mind that they were maybe

traditionally uh failures and that they

didn't make as much money as I thought

or they weren't as sustainable and

everlasting okay so number one one was

Blanco this was the studio that I opened

up in Texas with a friend it was a

creative Studio space we built a really

big white psych wall and it was it was

honestly a really fun little adventure

to do not only could I use it but of

course we rented it out to other people

it was so incredibly stressful you are

managing so many different customers and

things always go wrong and people abuse

your equipment but setting up that

project I was in charge you know I

created the bank accounts I made the

website I organized the the lighting

gear and everything and my partner he

did all of the physical stuff so he

built the psych wall and he was more of

the boots on the ground guy but I had

access to the bank accounts because I

set them up I had logins to the email I

had direct communication with all of the

customers if I wanted and we did that

for a couple years and yeah we made a

little bit of money but for the amount

of work and kind of headache that it was

it didn't make sense to keep that open

but it was

my decision my decision with the

business partner that I had right we

were in control that is the right kind

of failure the wrong kind of failure is

when you don't have control you put all

of your hopes and dreams into another

person and often times they're coming to

you and they say Hey you have this thing

that I want you have an audience you

have this you have that I have the

perfect idea for you and it sounds great

right and it sounds kind of sexy and

you're like oh wait you're going to do

all the work that sounds great yes sign

me up no sometimes it works if you find

someone very trusting but that is the

wrong path to go down because when

things don't work when things go wrong

you are not in control that feeling of

helplessness is so incredibly stressful

it's good to have control when something

doesn't work out but it's even better to

have control when something does work

cuz then you're off to the races and

then it's you hiring the people to help

you do that and you have full control

and it's just extreme ownership is good

so just keep that in mind as you're

starting things in your 20s it is the

time to have fun and just start a lot of

little projects do your side hustles do

your side Hobbies but make sure it's you

with the ideas other people aren't

dragging you along and just being able

to stay centered have that extreme

ownership and really do what you want to

do cuz once you start getting attention

or little bit of success in something

that's when the entire world is going to

start bothering you and it's not

productive if they're going to pay you

sure entertain that but most of it is

Noise Okay number three stop making

yourself sick I'm going to read you a

note that was last updated last year and

I had been struggling with a ton of

stuff ever since Co you know it's not

original to say Co stressed me out you

know I think it messed up a lot of

people but it started to get me think oh

I have something wrong with me

physically right like check out these

bullet points that I have from all the

go Googling than I did cuz I just felt

so so bad for those 2 to three years

acid reflx heartburn Google

anti-inflammatory diet histamines and

food galston parentheses ultrasound

don't know what that means ovarian cyst

question mark MRI ulcer from stress my

body hates bread and really leafy stuff

like kale okay can't do hard liquor face

goes numb limbs gets

tingly I was guys I was a mess Co was

not kind to me oxalates question mark

maybe

almonds a little over a year ago when we

moved from Texas to La something that I

never shared I was stressed I was just

doing so much branded content and it was

with brands that how do I say this

because they were so like fortune 500y

and buttoned up every email legal is CCD

on it just to make sure that every

single word that you say is correct

right they were just so intense and

honestly kind of mean like I felt

bullied into doing uh this content that

I did sometimes you say yes to something

that seems oh pretty straightforward and

then when you're in it it's just the

worst okay and I was so stressed out of

course we had just moved and there was

other stuff going on in my life too and

it had just boiled up to just too much

and I was on my way driving to meet a

friend for lunch and I literally had to

pull over because of this intense chest

pain that I was having and I was like

what is going on I was like I like

couldn't breathe it just felt like there

was an elephant on top of my chest and I

went to the lunch and I barely survived

it I just I couldn't breathe I just God

the heaviness from my chest did not

leave and I decided to go to the ER

after it cuz I was like did I just have

a heart attack like what just happened

was this you know and I didn't have

health insurance yet cuz we had just

moved and so I spent $5,000 in a day in

the ER for a doctor to come up to me

after all the EKGs and all of that stuff

that they did for him to tell me hey

maybe you should work

less hey you're probably just stressed

out we see this a lot the test didn't

show anything just you

know don't be as stressed out as you are

and that was kind of the point where I

was like oof this needs to stop this

whatever I'm doing it's not working and

it doesn't matter that oh I'm a YouTuber

I've kind of always had the mindset of a

freelancer because really as a YouTuber

you're just a glorified

freelancer I still had that scarcity

mindset oh if I say no to things how can

I say no to this money I remember what

it was like to like not have these

Brands knocking at my door and so I just

continue to pile on the stress builds

and then I find myself on the side of a

really busy road clutching my chest

thinking I'm having a heart attack that

next month I found out I was

pregnant that was the one thing that

could actually make me say no to things

in one part because I was ready I was so

excited for that chapter of my life but

two I got way more sick than I thought I

was I was throwing up like three times a

day couldn't even leave the house so I

was also physically forced to say no to

things and it took me about 4ish months

to wind everything down literally to

where no one was emailing me no one was

expecting anything from me even though I

was throwing up all the time and

physically I was sick from the pregnancy

I woke up every day and there was no

weight on my chest the elephant on my

chest was gone fast forward a few months

if you know my story I had our baby girl

3 months early 3 months premature the

staff infection the sepsis the

appendectomy giving birth to a breach

baby no medication baby girl and the ncu

for 2 months the pumping micis the pick

line in my arm for a month I know for a

fact that the

birth of my firstborn child will hands

down

be the most physically challenging thing

I've ever gone through and also probably

the most emotionally charged dramatic

thing I've ever gone through in my life

hands down I thought I was over this

part of

it now that I'm on the other side of it

man every day is just like

awesome um but yeah if it weren't for

the people in my life that I had and if

it weren't for a lot of

therapy I mean this could have broken me

you know

but instead I

think it built me I mean it made me much

more

resilient and much more certain on what

I want in life and much more thankful

but I say all that for how hard that was

I would have anxious thoughts about me

about my daughter but I wouldn't be in

that constant state of anxiety and it is

insane to say that something so real

like that was not as bad mentally as

years and years of essentially doing a

job that I didn't want to

do stop making yourself

sick that came from me all of the stress

all of the

anxiety

of doing a job that I'm good at and that

I like and that I love I pursued this

video thing because I don't see myself

doing anything else than making videos

and sharing thoughts online I just for

some reason it just feels like something

I have to do I can't not do it but I

turned it into this thing by just saying

yes to too many things to putting my

sanity in the hands of like eight

clients a month that is crazy I did that

they did not do that I did that I was

completely in control of that because

the moment I said said no to

everything there's no elephant on my

chest there was no heartburn yes I'm

very anxiety prone and my brain is very

ADHD and there were things that I had to

be really intentional about and take the

time to work on and I'm still working

through them with a therapist shout out

to my therapist who's been with me for

over a year and helping me tremendously

but I was making myself sick I think if

you can just guard your

mind in this next decade of life that

you're going to live in your 20s it's

going to be worth it cuz you can get

through it with less emotional baggage

and you won't find yourself at 29 and 30

incredibly stressed out no one goes

unscathed you're going to have to be

somewhat self-reflective at the end of

your 20s no matter what you do but I

think this is just the one piece of

advice that I'm sharing in this video

that I wish I had known basically you

are in control and that in a way is is

scarier than thinking that other people

are in control because then it's all on

you so yeah be careful of inertia be

careful of just going with the flow cuz

that's how things have been what's

another yes here what's another yes

there it's just what I've been doing

it's what this person expects of me and

it's what this person wants of me so I

have to do it I just have to keep going

no don't let other people dictate your

happiness your anxieties and your

schedule I don't do that

anymore I don't stop making yourself

sick okay number four let's end on maybe

a more positive note I think that

steered a little bit more towards like

regret territory but that's not at all

how I'm feeling as I'm entering my 30s

I'm just

happy you

know and so that's that's the place that

I'm coming from when I say number four

you can't have it all but you can have a

lot you can have a lot and a lot of that

starts with your 20s a lot of that

starts with being insanely intentional

with this time that you have not to just

do the things that I started out talking

about taking those calculated risks

taking those big steps right but with

that comes putting down your head and

actually putting in the work and this is

where I'll go a little 2016 Gary ve on

you anything worth having in this life

is usually some degree of hard work and

being just so relentless this past

decade and keeping my head down and just

showing up and doing the work has now

led me to where I am now to be able guys

I wasn't supposed to cry in this video

I'm telling you you get pregnant you

have a baby and then you're just crying

all the time doing that work as now led

me to the place where I am now to be 29

and just being able to snuggle my baby

anytime that I want yes I'm still

working and I thought I was actually

going to take way more dedicated time

just completely off but I had found that

when I said no to everything and I gave

myself that time to just stop and not

let my life be run by other people I got

that hunger again you know I'm always

going to have that hunger to make stuff

and and share it with you guys and it

came back way quicker than I thought and

so I'm just being

way more intentional with the actual

work side of this right and I'm leaving

room and if my baby isn't falling asleep

in her crib and I need to snuggle her

for hours and hours and hours I have

time to do that I have the space to do

that and I know that not everyone is

lucky enough to have that I'm just I'm

thankful for it I love it so much but I

will say it was so intentional I know on

this channel it's been more focused Tech

and like my creative life but I have

always been so excited to be a mom in

this chapter of my life that I had

always said you know I'm going to make

as much money as I can so that when this

time comes I can chill if I want to and

that's where just being so intentional

comes in you know you can have a lot

can't have everything but you can have a

lot what were some of the things that I

sacrificed I wasn't cool for a lot of my

life okay I wasn't hanging out with

people I was going home and like playing

guitar and like learning logic and Pro

Tools and then that evolved into Final

Cut and Premiere you know I was a dork

most of my life and I kind of stayed in

my Lane in my little corner I was alone

a lot doing my thing building my skills

and sometimes that did get lonely it did

and it sucked sometimes you know I've

had seasons of really good friendship

but I am not the Super extroverted

person who just has a ton of friends so

I would say that is probably the thing

that I sacrificed I wasn't drinking I

wasn't partying I wasn't doing what I

think a lot of people think their 20s

are four I didn't have everything but

now I'm able to look back I'm just

feeling very

thankful I haven't been

perfect I have made a lot of mistakes

but that's what life is you

know and I guess there is something to

like turning a decade where you you just

you get to be self-reflective right um I

was kind of forced into it but I'm sure

many 29 going on 30-year-olds kind of

have maybe felt similar ways to me I

think Millennial burnout on top of just

Co and everything that happened I think

a lot of us went through very similar

things and I'm just feeling thankful to

be on the other side of that in this

past year and yeah so if you're a genin

z or even a Jin Alpha out there who's

watching this video I hope you got

something from it I'm so excited for you

this next decade is going to be

confusing and stressful at times but

it's going to be fun and you just do you

there's so much on the internet

right now you put those blinders on

put the blinders on you do you baby you

know proud of you you made it this far

you're going to make it to the other

side so much stronger so much wiser and

yeah I don't know you're just going to

make it cuz sometimes that's all you can

do and that's an accomplishment on its

own I didn't know that I was going to be

so freaking sentimental in this video

but I'm feeling motivated and I hope you

do too we will be back to the regularly

scheduled programming next week

subscribe if you're new around here let

me know if you like this video and yeah

stay peachy okay bye