Violent Boy EXPELLED from pre-school! | The Beck Family | FULL EPISODE

Supernanny
13 Apr 202438:34

Summary

TLDRThe Beck family from Orange County, California, faces challenges with parenting their three children, including a son with ADHD and a younger child with speech difficulties. Super Nanny Joe Frost steps in to help establish discipline, improve communication, and create a safe environment. Through implementing house rules, effective timeout techniques, and encouraging speech development, the family begins to see positive changes, reducing aggression and enhancing cooperation among the children.

Takeaways

  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The Beck family from Orange County, California, is struggling with parenting and discipline issues involving their three young children.
  • 👶 Bronson, the youngest at three years old, has been expelled from preschool for aggressive behavior and has speech difficulties, which may contribute to his frustration and outbursts.
  • 👦 Hunter, aged nine, has been diagnosed with ADHD, making it challenging for him to focus and complete homework, leading to tension with his parents.
  • 👧 Pearson, the middle child at five years old, is described as stubborn, resisting instructions and showing reluctance to do homework.
  • 🏠 The family's living situation is chaotic, with a messy home environment and children's artwork on the walls, which reflects their current state of disarray.
  • 👩‍🏫 Nicole, the mother, is overwhelmed balancing full-time studies in fashion design, part-time work, and parenting responsibilities.
  • 👨 Nate, the father, works as a home theater installer and shares parenting duties in a 'tag team' approach with Nicole, which sometimes leads to inconsistent discipline.
  • ⏰ The family's discipline method, involving a 'Penalty Box' timeout area, is inconsistently applied and not effectively communicating the consequences to the children.
  • 🚸 Safety concerns are highlighted, especially with Bronson's tendency to run towards traffic, indicating a need for clear boundaries and immediate action.
  • 📝 The script emphasizes the importance of clear communication, patience, and consistent discipline in managing the children's behavior and addressing their individual needs.
  • 🌟 The family seeks help from a professional, 'Super Nanny' Joe Frost, who provides guidance and strategies to improve their parenting and home environment.

Q & A

  • Where is the family in the script located?

    -The family is located in Orange County, California.

  • What are the names and ages of the Beck family's children?

    -The Beck family has three children: Hunter, who is nine; Pearson, who is five; and Bronson, who is three.

  • What are the occupations of Nicole and Nate Beck?

    -Nicole is a full-time fashion design student and works part-time in the evenings at a local coffee house. Nate is a home theater installer.

  • What challenges does the Beck family face in terms of parenting?

    -The Beck family faces challenges such as overwhelming responsibilities, dealing with a child diagnosed with ADHD, stubbornness in one of their children, and aggressive behavior from their youngest child, Bronson.

  • What is the issue with Bronson's behavior that led to his expulsion from his nursery school?

    -Bronson displayed aggressive behavior towards a staff member at his nursery school, including threats to throw a small children's chair, which led to his expulsion.

  • How does the family's discipline approach involve the 'Penalty Box'?

    -The family uses the 'Penalty Box' as a timeout area for the children when they misbehave. However, the method is inconsistent and ineffective, leading to escalation of situations rather than resolution.

  • What is the main concern regarding the safety of the children, especially Bronson?

    -The main safety concern is Bronson's tendency to run out towards the street and near traffic, nearly getting hit by cars, which poses a significant risk.

  • What is the role of 'Super Nanny' in helping the Beck family?

    -Super Nanny is brought in to observe the family's situation, provide guidance, and help implement new strategies for discipline, communication, and safety to improve the family dynamics and well-being.

  • How does the script address the issue of Hunter's ADHD and homework struggles?

    -The script shows the challenges Hunter faces in focusing on homework due to his ADHD and the frustration it causes between him and his parents. Super Nanny suggests patience, clear communication, and the use of homework tips to assist Hunter.

  • What is the significance of the 'house rules' and 'perks' introduced by Super Nanny?

    -The 'house rules' and 'perks' are introduced to establish clear expectations for behavior and to motivate the children with positive reinforcement. Following the rules earns them perks, such as going to the park or getting ice cream.

  • How does the script highlight the importance of effective communication with Bronson?

    -The script emphasizes the importance of understanding Bronson's speech difficulties and giving him the opportunity to express himself. This helps reduce his frustration and aggression, as he feels heard and understood.

Outlines

00:00

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Family in Distress: Seeking Help

The Beck family from Orange County, California, is struggling with parenting challenges and seeks assistance. Parents Nicole and Nate, with their three children Hunter (9), Pearson (5), and Bronson (3), are depicted as overwhelmed by their daily responsibilities. Nicole is a full-time fashion design student working part-time, while Nate installs home theaters. The family faces issues with discipline, particularly with Bronson's aggression and Pearson's stubbornness. Hunter's ADHD adds to the complexity, making homework time a struggle. The family's living conditions are messy, reflecting their chaotic life, and they are desperate for help to improve their situation.

05:02

🤬 Aggression and Communication Issues

The script delves into Bronson's aggressive behavior, which includes threats and expulsion from nursery school due to his actions. His speech difficulties, characterized by slurred speech and mispronunciation, are suspected to contribute to his frustration and aggression. The family's discipline methods, including timeouts, are not effectively managing the children's behavior, leading to further tension and stress within the household.

10:03

👀 Observations and Family Dynamics

The narrative continues with an observer, possibly a 'Super Nanny' figure, who notes the family's dynamics and the children's behavioral issues. The observer highlights the parents' inconsistent disciplinary actions and the lack of effective communication with the children. The observer also points out safety concerns as Bronson repeatedly runs towards traffic, nearly getting hit by cars, which underscores the urgency of the family's situation.

15:05

🏠 Establishing Boundaries and Rules

The family is guided towards establishing house rules and 'perks' for good behavior. The observer introduces a structured approach to discipline, including a 'Penalty Box' for transgressions. The parents are encouraged to be consistent and assertive, not aggressive, when enforcing rules. The observer also addresses the importance of safety, especially with the younger children, by implementing boundaries for play areas.

20:08

🎨 Redirecting Creativity and Addressing ADHD

The script discusses strategies to redirect the children's creativity away from destructive behaviors, such as drawing on walls, by providing an artistic space. It also focuses on Hunter's ADHD and the challenges it presents during homework time. The observer provides tips for the parents to help Hunter concentrate and complete his homework, emphasizing patience and positive reinforcement.

25:10

🗣️ Improving Communication and Understanding

The family learns the importance of understanding and responding to Bronson's speech difficulties to prevent his frustration from escalating into aggression. The observer models how to interact with Bronson, using patience and clear communication to help him express himself. The parents are encouraged to spend quality time with Bronson to enhance his speech and reduce his aggressive outbursts.

30:13

🔄 Consistency and Patience in Discipline

The script emphasizes the need for the parents to be consistent and patient in their disciplinary approach. They are taught to give clear instructions to the children and to allow them time to respond before issuing warnings or penalties. The observer uses a 'hot air balloon' exercise to illustrate the importance of not overwhelming the children with repetitive commands.

35:14

👋 Progress and Continued Challenges

Despite improvements in the family's dynamic, the parents still face challenges, particularly with Bronson's speech and aggression. The observer works with the family to refine their disciplinary techniques and to encourage more effective communication with Bronson. The parents are shown how to handle conflicts between the children and to ensure that each child's voice is heard.

👋 Bittersweet Farewell and Hope for the Future

As the observer departs, the family reflects on the progress they've made and the challenges that still lie ahead. The parents express gratitude for the guidance received and a renewed sense of hope for their family's future. They acknowledge the hard work that lies ahead but are now equipped with the tools to manage their children's behavior and to foster a more harmonious home environment.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Orange County California

Orange County California is a region in the United States known for its affluent neighborhoods and pleasant climate. In the video, it is the location where the Beck family resides and where the family's story unfolds. The setting is important as it provides a backdrop for the family's lifestyle and challenges.

💡Home Theater Installer

A home theater installer is a professional who specializes in setting up home entertainment systems. In the video, the father, Nate, is a home theater installer, indicating his occupation and suggesting the family's possible interest in home entertainment, which could be a factor in their home life dynamics.

💡Full-time Fashion Design Student

This term refers to someone who is enrolled in an educational program focused on fashion design and is attending classes full-time. Nicole, the mother in the video, is a full-time fashion design student, which highlights her commitment to her education and career alongside her responsibilities as a mother and wife.

💡Tag Team Parenting

Tag team parenting is a strategy where both parents take turns in childcare responsibilities. In the video, Nicole and Nate are described as tag team parents, reflecting the division of labor and the challenges they face in balancing work, school, and parenting.

💡ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulty in paying attention, excessive activity, and impulsivity. In the video, Hunter, one of the Beck children, is diagnosed with ADHD, which is a central theme as it influences his behavior and the family's approach to discipline and support.

💡Stubbornness

Stubbornness refers to an unwillingness to change one's opinion or course of action despite persuasion or evidence to the contrary. The script mentions Pearson's stubbornness as a significant issue, illustrating the behavioral challenges the parents face in getting him to comply with requests.

💡Penalty Box

The 'Penalty Box' is a form of time-out used as a disciplinary measure in the Beck family. It is a designated area where a child must sit quietly for a set period as a consequence of misbehavior. The effectiveness of this method and its proper implementation are discussed in the video.

💡Super Nanny

Super Nanny is a term often used to refer to a professional nanny or a television personality who helps families with their parenting challenges. In the video, the Beck family calls for 'Super Nanny' Joe Frost for assistance, indicating their desperation and the need for expert guidance.

💡Speech Difficulties

Speech difficulties refer to problems with communication, such as slurred speech or mispronunciation. Bronson, the youngest Beck child, has speech difficulties, which may contribute to his frustration and aggressive behavior, as he struggles to make himself understood.

💡Safety Measures

Safety measures are precautions taken to prevent accidents or injuries. In the video, Joe Frost introduces safety measures like boundary ribbons to keep the children from running into the street, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe environment for the Beck family.

💡Homework Tips

Homework tips are strategies or advice given to help manage and complete homework effectively. The video discusses the importance of such tips for Hunter, who has ADHD, and how following these tips can reduce frustration and improve focus during homework time.

Highlights

The Beck family from Orange County, California, seeks help for parenting challenges with their three children.

Nicole, a full-time fashion design student and part-time barista, finds parenting overwhelming.

Nate, a home theater installer, struggles with 'tag team parenting' and discipline.

Bronson, the youngest at three, exhibits aggressive behavior and speech difficulties.

Hunter, diagnosed with ADHD, has trouble with homework and sitting still.

The family's discipline method, the 'Penalty Box', is deemed ineffective and potentially dangerous.

Super Nanny Joe Frost introduces house rules and 'perks' for good behavior.

The family implements a safety boundary using ribbon to prevent accidents near traffic.

Joe emphasizes the importance of patience and clear communication for children's development.

The family learns to give warnings before discipline and to be consistent with consequences.

Hunter's homework struggles are addressed with a focus on parental patience and support.

Bronson's speech improvement is linked to a decrease in his aggression.

The family sees a marked difference in their dynamic after implementing Joe's strategies.

Nicole and Nate express gratitude for the transformation in their family's approach to parenting.

The Beck family demonstrates improved communication and a reduction in child behavior issues.

Joe's departure prompts the family to reflect on the progress they've made and the work still ahead.

Transcripts

play00:01

[Music]

play00:04

[Applause]

play00:06

so guys I'm in Orange County California

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waiting to help a family who desperately

play00:11

needs my help let's take a look hi we're

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the Beck family from Orange California

play00:15

I'm Nicole and I'm Nate we have three

play00:18

kids Hunter who's nine Pearson who's

play00:21

five and Bronson who's

play00:24

three shut

play00:27

up I'm a home theater installer I'm a

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full-time fashion design student be good

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for Daddy okay and I work part-time in

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the evenings at a local coffee house

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going to school fulltime and being a mom

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fulltime and working all be good okay

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sometimes feels just really overwhelming

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for me I'll basically get home from work

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and I have the kids to

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myself ah I get it tag team parenting

play00:52

would you like orange juice or milk

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no Bronson is the most difficult child

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for our family sit down please he

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doesn't get his way he's looking to hit

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you shout out a bad

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[Music]

play01:09

word look at me no no put your hand down

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you don't want Pearson's biggest issue

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is his stubbornness hey stop I mean stop

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no if you're asking him to do something

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that is not what he wants to do you want

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to sit down and get it done do your

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homework he will not do it ready to do

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your

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homework take out your homework so I can

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check it 100 was 8 he was diagnosed with

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uh ADHD have you done 350 it's difficult

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for him to sit still and get his

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homework done you only had math homework

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today yeah saying that he's completed

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everything for the day which isn't

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always true so if I talk to your teacher

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she's going to say yes I already have

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hunters completed math homework so it's

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been really

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difficult the discipline will range from

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yelling you cannot play with him you

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understand Penalty Box penalty you're

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going to be in Penalty Box after your

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penalty our penalty box is our timeout

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area you cannot cry stop yelling sit

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here quietly it's not effective and it

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seems to be a waste of time and really

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escalate the

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situation I mean I can see that they're

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trying with their discipline you can sit

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in there 5 minutes or we can go for 6

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minutes but they're not getting it right

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and that's why it's not working thank

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you for sitting

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down I

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won't

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I who I don't want to feel like oh I'd

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much rather be at work than home park it

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now I need to park it I'm always anxious

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I'm always waiting for the next fight to

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break out and it just wears me down

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mentally and physically and

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emotionally please come help us Super

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Nanny we're at our Woods End and don't

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know what else to do and who to turn to

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and we really need help to save our

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family okay Mom and Dad I know you're at

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your wit end but if you just hang on a

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little bit longer I'll be there

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soon

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hello Hi how are you very well please to

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meet you jff frost ni Beck having Joe in

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my house feels surreal I felt a little

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vulnerable so what's your name B brost

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hi pleased to meet you pleased to meet

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you Joe Frost pi and be how you doing

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Hunter after greeting the family I took

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a tour around the house I saw that the

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master bedroom is a true reflection of

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where this family are at a messy place

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is this where you sleep

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yes right oh dear go got some Tiding UPS

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do you oh lots of it yeah it's in like

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the last room on the list who did all

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the artwork on the wall there Bronson

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was that some of your handiwork down

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here that's Bronson's is it come and

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show me your artwork what did you do

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which one did you do like like there is

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that pink one yours is it what about you

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Hunter where's your Picasso they then

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started to br about their own artwork

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well I did that one with the red pen and

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um yeah it was me that did the one with

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the blue pen what are these parents

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thinking allowing their kids to draw on

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the walls and the

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furniture hey the bats for hitting a

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ball not your brother nobody's for

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hitting the ball is ring okay as I

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continued to observe this family I saw

play04:20

that the younger son Bronson is quite

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[Music]

play04:28

aggressive I wonder if there was more to

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it so I questioned mom about it he had

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um a few incidences one week at school

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where he was aggressive toward a staff

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member and threatened to pick up like a

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small children's chair and throw it and

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so at that point he was asked to leave

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the program how long has you been

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suspended for um and definitely from

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that particular preschool Bronson's

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Nursery School has expelled him it's a

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real shame but I know that I can help

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him and then mom went on to tell me

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about Bronson's speech difficulties s

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like just with um a slurring sound and

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he'll put the sh sound on a lot of words

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just as of recently I wonder if

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Bronson's aggression comes from not

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being able to communicate clearly with

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his parents although later on he was

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very clear in his

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communication you stupid ass oh you

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don't talk to Mommy like that and those

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words are yucky dirty words mom put

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Bronson into a py box their time out and

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not getting up but then he got

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up

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[Music]

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okay super you need to

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sit back and forth back and forth and

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then we saw Bronson run out of the

play05:54

[Music]

play05:58

door

play06:01

the street is right there you're not to

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go this way that is not safe look at all

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these cars okay he came so close to that

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main road that it was

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frightening quite frankly I'm not taking

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No chances I'm taking my shoes off in

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case I've got to run out

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myself my arm let me see your arm my

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stupid having Bronson call Super Nanny

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and and and other SAR words I felt

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mortified milk or water and just when we

play06:34

thought it was over he took a break for

play06:36

it again and grabbed a

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scooter stop on your scooter

play06:46

[Music]

play06:49

now once again Bronson broke out of his

play06:51

timeout and he was heading towards the

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traffic but this time he was on a

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scooter giving his mom a challenge to

play06:58

catch up with him

play07:02

you are not to come out of the house

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okay you're to sit down and penalty and

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have how many times is this child going

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to run out of the house and are we going

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to be lucky because he's not been hit by

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a car I mean at that point you realize

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there can't be any more time outs so I'm

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actually going to make a decision here

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on observation you're going to forget

play07:19

about timeout with him today because

play07:21

I've seen how you handle time out when

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Joe had me stop putting Bronson in The

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Penalty Box I felt like a failure

play07:30

but let's take away this situation right

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now because too dangerous far too

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dangerous later on Mom sat down with

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Hunter to do homework he is a boy who

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has attention deficit hyperactivity

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disorder so I was very interested to see

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exactly how she would handle the

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situation I'm asking you what's the

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first question it doesn't say what does

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it

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need I said read me what the first

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question is what do we need to find out

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a first bit of information what do you

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need to list first Hunter I don't know

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am I acting like that with you I'm

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sitting here offering help okay mom felt

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like she was listening to him but he was

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like I need help and she's like I'm

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helping you what's it asking you to do

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first not so really they weren't

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achieving anything nothing productive

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was being done what are we doing it's

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not

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it I could see that Mom's life right now

play08:30

is completely exhausting for her I did

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have a chance to talk to her on the

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front lawn and she's paying a high

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emotional price for this so you go to

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school all day then you come back and

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then you go to work or evening of course

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there's a house to be run so who does

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that right um when I'm not here um it's

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my husband Nate and significantly have

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you seen change in the children's

play08:50

Behavior absolutely and yourself since

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you took on more yes at first I thought

play08:54

it would be really manageable and that I

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could do it and do it well but as time's

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gone on little things have started to

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give it's frustrating it's I don't feel

play09:02

like myself and you know with the kids

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it's like it's just a lot so and

play09:07

personally just that bring on mood

play09:09

swings and IR ability and um that's hard

play09:14

you know it's like you have to be the

play09:16

best person for yourself in order to be

play09:18

the best for them and like this is the

play09:20

most important job I have is their mom

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and right now I feel like I'm just

play09:24

setting them up for failure mom's

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dealing with work family school we so

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many commitments she's hanging on the

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edge it's not going to be long before

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she ends up ping off as we finished our

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talk dad arrived home this is my husband

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n yeah this is hi n pleas to meet you

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nice to meet you and just like millions

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of other American Homes it was time for

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a shift change with Mom heading off to

play09:47

work dad started to get dinner

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ready that yeah you know what this one

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will work uh yeah but Bronson started

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again well am I going to eat in the air

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yeah am I going to eat in the air oh

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who' you hit

play10:00

yeah are we allowed to what's the rule

play10:03

what's the rule is

play10:08

[Music]

play10:11

exactly ahe of

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[Music]

play10:15

time stop

play10:19

talking every time Bronson opened his

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mouth he had another 3 minutes another 3

play10:24

minutes I mean we were watching The

play10:26

Penalty Box with Bronson in it for over

play10:29

45 minutes which was absurd really I

play10:32

mean this is a boy who's 3 years old

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should have taken 3

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minutes after Bronson's time out dad was

play10:37

just able to enjoy the

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evening M and dad are a decent couple

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they've just got some serious challenges

play10:45

at the moment they've got a boy who's

play10:46

got learning difficulties another one

play10:48

who doesn't listen and a three-year-old

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who's just been expelled from school and

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they need a little bit of help it's been

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great actually to watch you tonight with

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the boys what I am looking for for to

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tomorrow is actually sitting down and

play11:00

having a family meeting I'm really

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looking forward to it I'm definitely you

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know anxious for you know to hear what

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Joe has to say both nervousness and

play11:08

[Music]

play11:15

excitement I love the fact that you guys

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are very enthusiastic with your family

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you certainly want the best the problem

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is it's all out of balance very much so

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let's talk about something very pressing

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and that's safety yesterday I told you

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let's not do timeout right for me to say

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that that's pretty big because time

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out's necessary right if you know me you

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know you need consequences and

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discipline but when I was faced with

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little Bronson running out and yesterday

play11:50

he was extremely close to that Main Road

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out there that was seriously dangerous

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isn't an excuse but in Bronson TI he

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hasn't gone that way and then you know

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he'll get a smack on his bottom and I'll

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tell him you cannot in a big voice you

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know you cannot cross you know there a

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bigger RIS it's how you're saying it you

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don't have to be aggressive you have to

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be assertive you have to recognize that

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that's a danger zone and by no means is

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that acceptable they need to be able to

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listen to you but they don't and the

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reason they don't is

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discipline it's a bit of a muck up isn't

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it discipline yes I'm here to set the

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record straight of why your Penalty Box

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isn't working you guys do not give your

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children a warning so you never allow

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them to think for themselves and to make

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choices for themselves that then allow

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them to be accountable for their

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consequences yeah that's yeah that makes

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a lot better sense the second situation

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here is that when they're in the Penalty

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Box if they just move an inch out of the

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little square that you give them you

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place them back so of course the time

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escalates again and escalates again so

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you guys go around in

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circles to the point that you then

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become inconsistent and when you're

play13:01

inconsistent the message the boys get

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today you may stick to your guns

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tomorrow you might

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not so we do need to tweak the

play13:12

discipline and we'll do that with your

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Penalty Box because it's there and it's

play13:16

in place but we'll use it properly so

play13:19

let's talk about

play13:21

homework because homework is like a big

play13:23

black cloud in this house it rains every

play13:26

day when it comes to homework we're

play13:29

dealing with Hunter who you've told me

play13:32

has been diagnosed with ADHD so you know

play13:34

that but you get agitated you get

play13:37

frustrated he needs a mature parent

play13:39

around I mean yesterday listening to you

play13:41

at the table and I do help you what do

play13:43

you mean I don't help you you know I

play13:45

this not about that it's about what can

play13:47

I do to help I'm all about getting busy

play13:50

and doing some work but obviously I

play13:52

can't do it by myself I need two parents

play13:53

who are willing to put that work in so

play13:55

do I have two guys on

play13:57

board all right because you got three

play13:59

children that desperately need it

play14:01

definitely okay thank you very much

play14:02

thank

play14:05

[Music]

play14:08

you first thing that this family needs

play14:10

is some house rules so I'm going to

play14:13

bring that in to put everybody on the

play14:14

same page rules and perks what are house

play14:17

rules perks are the things you're going

play14:19

to get to do when you behave and you

play14:21

show what good boys you are these kids

play14:24

know what they shouldn't be doing but

play14:26

when you don't have parents that hold

play14:28

that pick it line in place they kick it

play14:31

down so what could be some rules what

play14:34

are some things that need to be rules

play14:37

listen

play14:38

Listening

play14:40

Room no hitting no that's a good one

play14:42

right there I like that one there's

play14:44

never been really a set of rules in a

play14:46

house if you can't you sit so doing that

play14:49

together was really I think meaningful

play14:52

for the kids what are things that you'd

play14:54

love you guys would like to do go to the

play14:56

park go to the park it's a great one I I

play14:59

think all three boys definitely

play15:00

understood that you follow all the rules

play15:02

you do get a perk but I didn't get ice

play15:05

cream jaob B great to get ice cream I

play15:07

think that's a good idea ride and an ice

play15:10

cream I think it was a good idea because

play15:14

we get more

play15:17

treats dad put the rules up on the wall

play15:19

so everybody could see them and of

play15:21

course we got a chance to test it

play15:23

quickly no

play15:26

no we do not hit we do not hit can you

play15:29

read this for me I want you to read this

play15:30

for me right here I hate the house of R

play15:33

cuz I don't like listening what's the

play15:36

very first one pear are we allowed to

play15:39

hit we do not hit it seemed like

play15:41

everybody was making good use of that

play15:43

board so whilst dad went off to work I

play15:46

got on with the next technique now they

play15:49

now he just hit me so correct okay and

play15:52

you will say to him that if he wants to

play15:54

sit up there and watch what you're doing

play15:55

he can okay or he can go and play

play15:59

but you don't want the hitting okay if

play16:02

you would like to sit on the counter

play16:03

next to Mommy and Jojo and watch then

play16:05

you can or you can go play Play-Doh in

play16:08

the other room but Bronson had his own

play16:11

agenda for us once in a while they'll

play16:14

buy lunch but typically they bring their

play16:15

lunch to school

play16:17

do he's going through the motions with

play16:20

you cuz he wants to see what you're

play16:21

going to do next you give him a warning

play16:23

for his behavior stop spitting at mommy

play16:27

or you will go into the Penalty Box

play16:29

right stand up I don't like penal what

play16:32

you're going to do is to place him into

play16:34

the Penalty Box okay and you're going to

play16:36

tell him why he's there you're then

play16:38

going to ignore him completely and

play16:40

you're going to set the alarm for 3

play16:42

minutes okay you're sitting in here for

play16:45

hitting and spitting at Mommy and you're

play16:46

going to sit down oh that voice is not

play16:48

good enough oh no this is what I'm

play16:50

talking about this voice you're sitting

play16:52

in Penalty Box for spitting and hitting

play16:55

Mommy and that's not acceptable and

play16:57

you're going to sit down three minutes

play16:59

and not get up ignore the profanity

play17:01

don't even worry about that it's all for

play17:03

reaction kids use bad language to get a

play17:05

rise out of the parents so the quickest

play17:08

way to eliminate that is to ignore

play17:14

it he got up from that penalty box over

play17:17

25

play17:20

times I hate you stupid D Bron's most

play17:23

challenging with timeouts because he's

play17:25

continuously getting up and running in

play17:27

all different directions and he can

play17:29

Outlast me

play17:31

yeah you're responding to his naughty

play17:34

Behavior but you're not reacting to his

play17:36

out burst of profanity okay it wouldn't

play17:39

be the first time that I've heard

play17:40

children swear at me and call me every

play17:42

name under the sun and I'm sure it won't

play17:44

be the last either Bronson felt very

play17:46

threatened having Joe in the house and

play17:48

helping me with the Penalty Box it was

play17:50

challenging but she followed through and

play17:53

eventually she got to the bottom of it

play17:56

where he had to do his time

play18:00

mommy put you in penalty time for

play18:02

hitting and spitting at mommy you need

play18:05

to tell Mommy you're sorry I'm

play18:07

sorry I love you it was really a

play18:10

challenge for me but when it was all

play18:11

said and done it was a big

play18:14

relief come outside when Dad got home I

play18:18

wanted to discuss a very serious

play18:20

situation with him and Mom me when

play18:21

you've got kids running near a road you

play18:23

need to look out and so I need to put

play18:25

safety measures into this house every

play18:27

day when you come out to play mom and

play18:30

dad are going to show you where you can

play18:31

go up to by using this ribbon know this

play18:37

boys if you go past the ribbon you will

play18:42

do time out these kids have got to

play18:44

recognize that there are certain

play18:46

boundaries in which they can play in so

play18:49

you have to stay but anything beyond

play18:51

that is going to be unsafe for them and

play18:53

it's the parents responsibility to make

play18:55

sure these kids understand that you're

play18:56

taking ownership now of this thank you

play18:59

it's going to be tough at first so let's

play19:02

do this but I think it'll work out well

play19:04

all right come on my side Bronson come

play19:05

back over here the biggest concern I

play19:07

have with Bronson is that he would be

play19:09

hit by a car ready so I was really

play19:12

excited to have the safety boundary

play19:14

started this afternoon with the kids so

play19:16

where do you guys get to play let's look

play19:17

at the ribb I don't like the orange

play19:20

ribbons cuz if we Pat some we go and pen

play19:24

and that

play19:25

dum as it works out Hunter and Pearson

play19:28

were very very Cooperative but that left

play19:30

Bronson

play19:33

Bronson as soon as the ribbons were

play19:35

placed on the trees Bronson got in his

play19:37

little tricycle and went totally over

play19:40

the

play19:40

ribbon you're going to penalty because

play19:43

you went past that marker I think he was

play19:46

a little bit shocked that he was pulled

play19:48

off his bike and marched into the house

play19:50

for Penalty Box Bronson we just set up

play19:53

those markers Bronson's going to

play19:56

disrespect every new thing that's put in

play19:58

place but it's also quite natural for a

play20:00

child of his age to do that

play20:03

com if he gets up from the dishwasher

play20:08

door because that's what the Penalty Box

play20:09

is you'll Place him back without talking

play20:10

to him okay this was the first time that

play20:12

I'd done a timeout with Dad so I wanted

play20:15

to make sure that he got the steps

play20:17

[Music]

play20:19

right if you are going to just see if

play20:21

he's still in the same space don't look

play20:23

at him but just walk past him so you can

play20:25

see whether he's there or not okay okay

play20:34

now another thing would be being that

play20:36

he's sitting there and he's he's still

play20:37

talking all that just just ignore it

play20:40

that's what add you in the first place

play20:43

okay Bronson did his time and dad did

play20:46

the final steps do you know why you're

play20:48

in here I pass the ribon exactly you

play20:52

passed the ribbon what do you

play20:55

say kind like kiss that did a fantastic

play20:58

fantastic time out and then he took

play21:00

Bronson outside to try all over again

play21:03

look look you see the ribbon where's the

play21:05

other ribbon over there we have to stay

play21:08

in between the two I think it's teaching

play21:11

him that it's not a game you know this

play21:13

is for his safety give me high five

play21:16

let's go have

play21:17

fun you know you're not listening you

play21:19

could get

play21:22

[Music]

play21:25

killed on my second day with his family

play21:27

I wanted to to address the boys drawing

play21:30

all over the

play21:31

walls you see this table here so I've

play21:34

created this space for them to be

play21:36

artistic and stop the

play21:40

vandalism and then it was time for me to

play21:42

move on to more important

play21:44

factors next what I really want to do is

play21:46

concentrate on Hunter's homework he has

play21:49

ADHD attention deficit hyperactivity

play21:52

disorder and it can be very challenging

play21:54

for him to focus at any length of time

play21:56

which creates a lot of frustration

play21:58

between himself and his

play22:00

parents right Hunter this is what I've

play22:02

got here okay homework tips guess who

play22:05

they're for no Mom and

play22:09

Dad listen and be patient ask what you

play22:12

can do to help lot of praise for what a

play22:14

good job what do you think about those

play22:16

Hunter you think Mom and Dad need

play22:19

them all right HRA was so excited that

play22:22

you know we had homework tips too so

play22:25

whilst I went into the living room to

play22:26

play with Bronson dad said down to do a

play22:29

math assignment with Hunter I actually

play22:31

thought it would go pretty easy

play22:33

considering the tips were right in front

play22:35

of him which one's higher 2.6 or

play22:38

2.5 this one is higher

play22:41

2.5 seven is wrong and I want you to

play22:43

tell me why after redo this seven is

play22:46

wrong is wrong Eight's wrong pay

play22:49

attention to me please cuz this is this

play22:51

is this is what you don't understand yes

play22:53

I do dad was already forgetting the

play22:55

first tip to be patient and he and

play22:58

Hunter we getting more and more

play22:59

frustrated I didn't know about that H

play23:03

now you're arguing would you like to sit

play23:05

in time out this is your final warning

play23:07

this is your final warning this is no

play23:09

I'm going to correct you're ripping my

play23:11

paper no I'm not moving your paper

play23:12

you're moving it I'm not moving my hand

play23:14

you're trying to grab there see that's

play23:15

what you did come on let's go yes let's

play23:19

go let's go let me do my homework let's

play23:23

go not only did Dad lose his patience

play23:26

but he escalated the problem by placing

play23:28

Hunter into a penalty box dad really

play23:31

needs to understand how difficult it is

play23:33

for Hunter because he's got ADHD and

play23:35

quite frankly I think he overreacted I

play23:38

do need to step back

play23:39

in in this particular circumstance this

play23:42

would have been about giving him space

play23:44

to just call off okay cuz at this stage

play23:47

you both are feeling agitated this is a

play23:50

no- win situation here we want a win-win

play23:52

always after our little chat in the

play23:55

kitchen I saw a marked difference in dad

play23:57

and a different response from Hunter let

play24:00

me have you tell me what I'm supposed to

play24:04

do V the homework tips definitely help

play24:07

you with with a child with ADHD be

play24:10

patient that's the number one thing okay

play24:12

we got 2.3 and then 2.9 is the next one

play24:17

now dad was concentrating on the tips it

play24:19

was helping Hunter to stay focused on

play24:21

his homework 3.2 3.5 and 3.5 everything

play24:26

is perfect on that one right there okay

play24:28

first my dad didn't listen when I was

play24:31

doing my homework and then he wouldn't

play24:33

be patient zero that's a zero

play24:36

that's perfect I show him what to do so

play24:40

then he was listening and being patient

play24:43

s dude done done well done a pair of you

play24:47

[Music]

play24:51

seriously later on in the afternoon

play24:53

Bronson started to play up again his

play24:56

inability to Comm Comm unicate with his

play24:59

parents to the point where they

play25:00

understand him is creating these

play25:02

meltdowns and really mom needs to

play25:04

understand

play25:06

that a

play25:07

minute hold on a minute cuz he's talking

play25:10

to you okay come down when he's shouting

play25:15

just come down listen to him okay when

play25:17

you don't understand what he's saying

play25:18

just tell him say I don't understand you

play25:19

I can hear you that way we can get him

play25:21

to start talking more Eng him that

play25:23

conversation yeah because when he feels

play25:25

like he's ignored it freaks him out okay

play25:27

I really wanted mom to recognize the

play25:29

importance of spending time with him did

play25:31

he do that and really doing all the

play25:33

things that are key to his early

play25:35

development this little one needs time

play25:39

okay and just sitting down and having a

play25:41

conversation and having him watch your

play25:42

mouth I believe that a lot of Bronson's

play25:45

aggression comes from the fact that his

play25:47

parents don't understand what he's

play25:48

saying and he gets frustrated JoJo's

play25:51

t-shirt is what color wow it's red his

play25:55

speech is slightly delayed his

play25:57

pronunciation

play25:59

is not as good as what it could be and

play26:02

your t-shirt is what color blue

play26:07

blue eye contact and being repetitive

play26:11

with your

play26:13

vocabulary that's the only way really

play26:16

that we see children enhance in their

play26:18

vocabulary and speech

play26:20

mdal a w oh Old McDonald oh Old McDonald

play26:24

you said old Old McDonald what show's

play26:29

mouth old you say

play26:32

old it was really interesting when Joe

play26:34

and Bronson were working together that

play26:36

he placed his hand over her mouth old

play26:40

good boy Mac ma Donald don't

play26:47

one that moment for me was was very

play26:50

special oh you need to be doing this you

play26:53

know you see what this young boy is

play26:55

capable of doing if the parents only

play26:58

just just put that time in that's that's

play27:01

precious watch Jo's math three Joe made

play27:05

a correlation between Bronson's

play27:06

aggression and his speech development so

play27:09

that's been you know a big eye opener

play27:11

for us three you say three we could

play27:15

understand what he was trying to say it

play27:17

made me feel really good I know it did

play27:18

to him too five five give me five right

play27:26

on I'm going for several days I'm

play27:29

leaving you guys to remember the

play27:31

techniques that have been put in place

play27:33

they've had me around supporting them

play27:35

but this is about them supporting each

play27:36

other now and doing it on their own

play27:39

follow through with a penalty box

play27:41

boundaries outside homework tips are a

play27:44

must I think I'm most nervous um having

play27:47

Joe gone with Bronson and having to deal

play27:51

with him bye

play27:52

Joe bye seeing Joe walk out the door was

play27:56

a little bit scary and I unsure of you

play27:59

know the next few

play28:03

[Music]

play28:08

days hi Hi how are you very well thank

play28:11

you I've been away from the Beck family

play28:13

now for several days I really hope that

play28:15

they kept themselves on

play28:17

track okay so are we ready to take a

play28:19

look at this DVD think

play28:26

yeah what's up

play28:28

I the build

play28:31

my no oh we don't hit and then say sorry

play28:34

Bronson you need to come

play28:36

here you're past your

play28:44

boundary no that is not acceptable ever

play28:47

you're going to the Penalty

play28:53

[Music]

play28:57

Box

play28:59

let's just go back a bit when he dropped

play29:01

the grapes you could actually say we

play29:03

don't have to hit it's not necessary to

play29:05

hit okay if you're angry because that's

play29:07

happened we don't have to it okay just

play29:09

apologize please okay so then he doesn't

play29:11

feel like oh you're going to tell him

play29:13

off what you're going to do and then he

play29:14

goes off and then he runs off and then

play29:15

you're having to chase him Hunter's

play29:19

homework doing math first okay so we

play29:22

already know what that decimal is right

play29:23

so what is this decimal

play29:26

1.9 okay write it down I want to keep

play29:28

them a little bit more spaced apart okay

play29:31

four five six yeah there you

play29:34

go don't get down on yourself okay it

play29:37

was a mistake it's

play29:40

fine and the man we Hunter was

play29:43

who was that you it was it was it was

play29:47

seriously when you decided I'm going to

play29:49

read and take in those tips look at the

play29:52

difference we go through them every

play29:54

every day I'll you know we set those

play29:56

rules up there and Hunter brings them to

play29:57

the table materal and he sets it right

play29:59

up where we sit I just kind of go

play30:01

through them every time I he's like Dad

play30:03

I need you to read these and stick to

play30:06

them because that's how you help me

play30:09

right yeah beautiful see Bronson's

play30:12

speech one say it one and then

play30:19

two

play30:21

three what is this a fork fork good job

play30:25

what is this a spon spoon

play30:29

what color is this one yellow yellow no

play30:32

dude oh here's some tricky ones doing

play30:35

well going to well I love it so good to

play30:39

see good what was different about

play30:41

yourself when doing speech with Bronson

play30:44

well I took the the time to you know

play30:46

uninterrupted with patience you didn't

play30:48

get angry with him you can't teach that

play30:50

way and so you were more composed your

play30:54

whole attitude was very very different

play30:57

wonderful piece of footage it really

play30:59

is those are couch pillows and they

play31:01

don't BL on Mommy's bed out of my room

play31:04

and get the pillows off put these on the

play31:06

couch you can do that off the bed put

play31:08

these back on the couch Pearson you can

play31:11

come here and put these back on the

play31:12

couch like I asked you need to put those

play31:14

pillows back on the

play31:18

couch pillows okay I asked you to put

play31:20

them back on the couch got you need to

play31:22

put those pill I this is your

play31:26

warning you we need to put the pillars

play31:29

back on the

play31:32

couch okay so you're asking py to put

play31:35

the pillars on the couch you're giving

play31:37

these kids instruction to do certain

play31:38

things you're not giving them a chance

play31:40

to do it okay couple of times you ask

play31:43

step back and then comes the warning and

play31:45

okay there are things that we do need to

play31:47

knuckle down and do this afternoon mom

play31:50

needs more work on clearly giving these

play31:53

kids instruction rather than snapping

play31:55

commands and certainly Bronson needs

play31:58

help with learning to talk more so that

play32:00

he doesn't become so aggressive they're

play32:02

not out the woods

play32:04

[Music]

play32:10

[Music]

play32:14

yet there's a section on the DVD that

play32:17

shows mom repetitively asking the

play32:20

children to do the same thing over and

play32:22

over again put these on the couch put

play32:23

these back on the couch put those

play32:25

pillows back on the couch she doesn't

play32:27

actually leave any time for them to get

play32:29

the job done no more hot air good so

play32:32

today I went in with an exercise shaped

play32:34

like a hot air balloon to show her that

play32:37

enough of that now say whatever it is

play32:40

that you need okay walk away now the

play32:42

chance to be able to do it if you see

play32:44

it's not done then put technique in play

play32:47

If the child decides to ignore Mom then

play32:49

she can give a warning and ultimately a

play32:51

discipline if necessary if you have to

play32:53

repeat yourself know that it's more

play32:56

Direction and if it's where you need to

play32:59

put a technique in play trust me it'll

play33:01

probably be a warning right I didn't

play33:02

realize how often I ask the kids to do

play33:04

something and that the kids aren't even

play33:06

listening at all no more 8 n 10 times

play33:09

right so thought there's a lot of

play33:10

changes need to be made on my part to

play33:12

ensure that you know they actually

play33:13

listen actively you need to take your

play33:16

cup and your spoon over there and take

play33:19

it to the kitchen sink and put it in the

play33:20

room for me please when you do step back

play33:22

you basically give your kids a chance to

play33:24

do what they've been asked I'd like for

play33:27

you to go in the kitchen and put the

play33:29

step stool over by the dryer for me

play33:31

[Music]

play33:32

please hey Bronson you need to put this

play33:35

in the kitchen on the table for me cuz I

play33:38

need to clean it later no it was going

play33:40

pretty smoothly until Bronson decided to

play33:43

reell I got it Pearson stepped in to

play33:46

[Music]

play33:49

help okay so take it back out again and

play33:53

I needed to remind mom who she'd ask to

play33:55

help Bronson Mommy asked you to put this

play33:58

in the kitchen so that I could clean it

play34:00

this is your warning I'm going to just

play34:02

make it like my Mantra say walk away and

play34:05

put the technique and play I'm looking

play34:07

forward to just keeping that in mind and

play34:09

making a lot of progress high five good

play34:12

job I love

play34:14

[Music]

play34:17

you I can't hear you when you're

play34:19

shouting I can't understand you when

play34:20

you're

play34:21

shouting fine sure I can help you stand

play34:24

at pippy fine okay a lot of Bronson's

play34:26

aggression comes from from his inability

play34:28

to communicate clearly and when Bronson

play34:31

and Pearson started to fight over the

play34:34

drinking cups I got a chance to show Mom

play34:37

and Dad how to deal with

play34:39

that whoa whoa whoa whoa who whoa what's

play34:42

going on I I got blue and then he just

play34:45

takes it who got him out me now ask

play34:49

Bronson what happened Bronson what

play34:51

happened can use words got him out I got

play34:53

him out you got him out and then you're

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telling me you got him out huh are you

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sure you got them out I Bron go them out

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I say I want blue then he takes blue

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what's normally the rule on who gets him

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out they get a pick look at the

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difference Pierce would have been the

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first to talk and you'd have been all

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ears and nobody would have given Bronson

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a chance because you know what Bronson

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w't really talking much and we just

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thought well we'll leave him there we

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won't even ask see now you're giving

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Bronson a chance to talk and so there's

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not this anger and you hear both sides

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which is what you're supposed to be

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doing there you go with Bronson has

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shown improvement with his anger and

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aggression and really with his verbal

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communication he can talk things through

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and he doesn't have to always you know

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feel like he has to hit somebody or

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throw something or have this big

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meltdown I told you it's time to come in

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so we're going to come go inside or

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you're going to go into the timeout

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Bronson may still act out every now and

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then but if he continues to communicate

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clearly Bronson's going to be more

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receptive to discipline and his parents

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got a good chance to see that I put you

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in penalty because you went outside your

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your area where you allowed to go your

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visual boundaries you're now going to be

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in here for 3

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minutes Bronson got up once which is

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absolutely brilliant I mean we have seen

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Bronson get up so many times I've lost

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count so to see him go back once and

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then actually do his time was a big deal

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today I put you in the Penalty Box

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because you went outside your visual

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boundary and I told you to come inside

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and you continue to run off when we

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first started the our timeouts of Joe

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there last you know upwards of 40

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minutes and to have you know today's

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timeout you know be under 6 minutes it's

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awesome tell Daddy you're sorry now give

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me some kisses and hugs with the

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improvements that I've seen with Bronson

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I look forward to the next few months

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really getting him prepared and his

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aggression under control so that when

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fall rolls around he'll be ready to go

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into a preschool that's a great fit for

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him and he can really shine there as

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well as he's going to do at home

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[Music]

play37:00

come over here cuz Jud wants to give you

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all a big hug because I'm going home now

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a the Beck family have an older child

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who's got ADHD a younger child who

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certainly had delay speech development

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I'd like to give you one too and also a

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middle child who just wasn't doing as he

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was told Nicole and Nate worked

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extremely hard and look what we've seen

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in a short space of time there been no

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picnic as it but look at the results

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right let's face it I can see that it's

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going to work out and we're going to do

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it and have the life that we want to

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have as a family when you're not

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frustrated we see a whole different

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night I'm definitely not the dad that

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dreads coming home from work anymore I'm

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you know the dad that's going to be

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looking forward to coming home is this a

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present for Jojo yes thank you so much

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thank you so much for everything before

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Joe came I was at the end of my rope I

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didn't feel comfortable being really a

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mom at that point you very much care

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mate Joe's giv us so much and it's

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almost like a piece of your family's

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leaving Bo say bye byebye thank you Joe

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for helping

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us I

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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love

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[Music]

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[Applause]

play38:30

[Music]

play38:33

he

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Family DynamicsParenting TipsADHD ManagementBehavioral ChangeDiscipline TechniquesChild DevelopmentEmotional SupportHome OrganizationEducational StrategiesConflict Resolution
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