The Preamble: Instantly Impress Someone You Like
Summary
TLDRThis video script offers insights on impressing individuals we admire by avoiding common pitfalls and asking engaging questions. It highlights Sean Evans' interviewing techniques, emphasizing the importance of preparation, empathy, and emotional connection. The script advises viewers to go beyond surface-level inquiries, showcase knowledge, and be playful yet respectful in conversation. It also encourages seeing people as humans beyond their public personas, fostering genuine connection and memorable interactions.
Takeaways
- 😀 **Asking Unique Questions**: Impress others by asking thoughtful, non-repetitive questions that show you've done your research and understand their background.
- 🤔 **Empathy in Questioning**: Show empathy by considering the common questions people often get and then asking something beyond the obvious to stand out.
- 🔍 **Preparation is Key**: Being well-prepared and knowledgeable about the person you're interacting with can help you ask deeper, more engaging questions.
- 📚 **Use a Question Preamble**: Start conversations with a short, insightful preamble to demonstrate your understanding and interest in the person's work.
- 🌟 **Highlight Personal Interests**: Direct conversations towards topics that elicit emotion, such as personal passions or frustrations, to create a more engaging interaction.
- 🏆 **Best and Worst Questions**: Utilize the 'best and worst' structure in your questions to encourage detailed and emotional responses.
- 😄 **Be Playful and Engaging**: Light-hearted teasing and playful banter can make interactions more enjoyable and memorable.
- 🙅♂️ **Avoid Being Vanilla**: Don't suppress your thoughts and opinions; express disagreement assertively but politely to show your personality.
- 👥 **See People as Humans**: Look beyond the public persona and see the person as a human being with interests and a life similar to yours.
- 💬 **Express Disagreement Constructively**: When disagreeing, highlight areas of agreement first to maintain a respectful and constructive conversation.
Q & A
What is the main issue discussed in the video script about social interactions?
-The main issue discussed is the common frustration of becoming tongue-tied when trying to impress others, especially in important situations like job interviews, networking, or dating.
Who is Sean Evans and how is he relevant to the video's topic?
-Sean Evans is the host of 'Hot Ones' and is used as an example in the video because of his skill in asking unique and engaging questions that stand out and impress his guests.
Why is it important to avoid repetitive questions when interacting with people of higher status?
-It is important because people of higher status often get asked the same questions repeatedly, and asking something different shows that you have done your research and can lead to a more engaging conversation.
What is the significance of doing thorough research before meeting someone you admire?
-Research allows you to ask informed questions that go beyond the obvious, demonstrating your interest and knowledge, and helping to create a more memorable and positive impression.
What is a 'question preamble' and how does it help in an interview or conversation?
-A question preamble is a short introduction to a question that shows off some knowledge about the person you're speaking with. It helps to establish a connection and demonstrates that you've done your homework.
Why is it beneficial to steer conversations towards emotional topics?
-Emotional topics elicit strong responses and can lead to more engaging and authentic conversations. People are more likely to remember and appreciate interactions that touch on their passions or frustrations.
What is the 'best and worst' structure for questions and why is it effective?
-The 'best and worst' structure asks individuals to reflect on the highlights and low points of an experience. It is effective because it prompts people to share personal stories and emotions, making the conversation more interesting.
How can playful teasing be used to build rapport in a conversation?
-Playful teasing can show that you're comfortable and confident, and it can create a light-hearted atmosphere that makes the interaction more enjoyable and memorable.
What is the importance of expressing disagreement respectfully when conversing with someone you admire?
-Expressing disagreement respectfully shows that you have your own thoughts and opinions, which can be refreshing and impressive. It also maintains the conversation's flow and keeps it dynamic.
What mindset is recommended when approaching people you admire to ensure a natural interaction?
-The recommended mindset is to see the person as a human being rather than an icon. This helps to diminish the perceived gap between you and allows for a more authentic and comfortable interaction.
What is the 'Charisma University' program mentioned in the script and how does it help individuals?
-The 'Charisma University' program is a course designed to help individuals build unshakeable confidence and improve their social skills. It includes a 30-day action guide and offers a step-by-step path for personal growth in social situations.
Outlines
🗣️ Mastering Impressive Conversations
This paragraph discusses the common issue of feeling tongue-tied in situations where impressing others is crucial, such as job interviews or meeting potential mentors. The video aims to provide strategies to stand out positively by learning from Sean Evans of Hot Ones, who is known for asking engaging questions. The importance of avoiding repetitive and obvious questions is emphasized, and the value of empathy in understanding what questions people are tired of hearing is highlighted. The paragraph also underscores the significance of preparation and research in asking insightful questions that can lead to meaningful conversations.
🤔 Asking Thought-Provoking Questions
The second paragraph delves into the art of asking questions that elicit emotional responses, using Sean Evans' interview techniques as an example. It highlights the effectiveness of asking about the 'best' and 'worst' experiences, which encourages people to share their passions and frustrations. The paragraph also discusses the importance of being playful and not overly serious in interactions, suggesting that a light-hearted approach can help stand out and create memorable connections. Additionally, it touches on the value of expressing disagreement assertively while remaining polite, drawing on examples from Joe Rogan's interviews.
🧡 Seeing People Beyond Their Public Persona
In the final paragraph, the focus shifts to the mindset required to genuinely connect with people you admire. It emphasizes the need to see individuals as humans rather than icons, recognizing their personal lives and interests beyond their public roles. This approach encourages curiosity and natural interactions, making it easier to ask personal questions, crack jokes, or engage in spirited discussions. The paragraph also mentions the benefits of the Charisma University program, which helps individuals develop unshakeable confidence and improve their social skills, and includes testimonials from satisfied members who have experienced positive changes in their lives.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Tongue-tied
💡Impress
💡Killer Questions
💡Empathy
💡Research
💡Preamble
💡Emotion
💡Best and Worst
💡Playful
💡Disagree
💡Human
Highlights
It's common to feel tongue-tied in front of people we want to impress, which can affect job opportunities, mentorship, and relationships.
Sean Evans of 'Hot Ones' is highlighted for his skill in asking compelling questions.
Asking killer questions can help you stand out and impress people, as demonstrated by Sean's interviews.
Important to avoid repetitive questions that people of higher status are often asked.
Empathy is crucial in asking questions that people don't usually get asked.
Sean avoids obvious questions and instead asks about behind-the-scenes details, like security measures in 'Star Wars'.
Preparation and research are key to asking insightful questions, as seen in Sean's interviews.
A short preamble can help set the stage for a conversation, showcasing your knowledge and interest.
Steering conversations towards emotional topics, like passions or frustrations, can engage people more deeply.
Using the 'best and worst' structure in questions can elicit detailed and emotional responses.
Sean demonstrates how to playfully tease guests, showing a human side and building rapport.
Having the willingness to take risks and have fun in conversations can help you stand out.
Expressing disagreement assertively while remaining polite is a skill demonstrated by hosts like Joe Rogan.
It's important not to stifle your own thoughts and opinions in an attempt to be agreeable.
Seeing people as humans rather than icons can help you connect more naturally and authentically.
Charisma University program is mentioned as a resource for building confidence and improving social skills.
Testimonials from Charisma University members highlight the program's effectiveness in various social situations.
Transcripts
it's frustratingly common to get
completely tongue-tied when we're in
front of people we'd like to impress
which is doubly unfortunate because it's
often those situations that could lead
to us landing a great new job connecting
with a mentor or even dating someone
that we're smitten with and that's why
in this video i want to cover how you
can avoid that awkward trap and impress
the people you admire by standing out in
an incredibly positive way to do that
we're going to be referencing one of the
people who has done this many times sean
evans of hot ones so let's start by
looking at sean's greatest skill asking
killer questions if you could steal one
item out of casey neistat's studio what
would you grab
oh wow
that's a good question he's got a lot of
stuff in there he's got drones can you
give me a band that people make fun of
on the internet that you think deserves
a lot more respect from a songwriting
perspective that's a great question do
you ever think about how much your
narrative is shaped by the need to
package the details of your life into
these instantly accessible anecdotes
i s
a great question
shawn evans is the best
host on the internet nailing your
questions is especially important when
interacting with people of higher status
because chances are they've been asked
the same question over and over and over
again take cersei ronan for instance who
must be tired of this kind of question
by now what's the worst pronunciation of
your name you've ever heard what's the
worst butchering of it you've ever heard
it's like the weirdest one you've ever
heard and it's not just celebrities who
get repetitive questions if you've ever
come home from college or a vacation to
a slew of well how was it questions you
know the feelings so if you want to
impress someone don't go for the low
hanging fruit a much better strategy is
to empathize with the person to ask
yourself what question they probably get
all the time and then to ask a question
beyond the obvious one here sean does it
avoiding obvious direct questions about
the star wars plot and instead asking
john boyega about the security measures
that were present to prevent spoiler
leaks can you reveal some of the
behind-the-scenes security measures that
go into putting a cap on star wars i
know i remember i put an overcoat
because every time we leave the set we
can't actually leave in costume now
asking questions beyond the obvious of
course becomes easier when you know a
bit about the individual and this is a
reason why sean's crazy prepared
research tends to be so well appreciated
can you tell the people about the
instruments of destruction
oh my god
what
sean where'd you even find that info
dang deep cuts
um you're like a really well researched
and like great interview this is wild so
are you thanks so are you so even though
you're probably not conducting
interviews you can apply the same
principle in your own life prior to
attending a networking events or an
interview for instance read up on the
person or the company get to the point
where you don't need to ask how they got
their start or what industries they work
with or anything that you could find on
their about page for that matter that
way you avoid questions that immediately
disqualify you but avoiding those
questions isn't enough after all we
don't necessarily notice the things that
don't happen in interactions as much as
we notice the things that do happen and
that's why you want to make sure to take
another trick from sean's playbook which
is the question preamble watch here and
in that 20 years the tv food scene it's
exploded you know from the stand and
stir shows to the cooking competition
boom to the current obsession with
culinary travel and when you look at
that timeline because you've spent about
20 years in this game now what do you
see as some of the watershed moments the
highlights and the low lights when you
look at that time you just saw sean mc
someone almost showing off a bit of his
knowledge about them which isn't
strictly necessary after all of course
the guest is going to know about their
own past but this makes a clear
distinction between sean and
interviewers who haven't done their
research and it makes the guests
reciprocate his effort in that response
do you still dream of having a chicken
tv show where you have celebrities do
voices for the chickens and if so who
are the actors at the top of your list
yeah how you know about the chicken
cartoon you remember about celebrating
with lil wayne
um
that night
yeah i really already did that
information here
i really do your homework um in your own
life opening with a short preamble is an
excellent way to begin a conversation
with a recognizable name that you may
encounter at a meet and greet or if
you're sending a cold outreach email
just one or two sentences that highlight
a specific perhaps more obscure element
of their work immediately separates you
from the pack and i say this from
personal experience when i receive
emails with just those one or two
sentences that indicates someone has
invested in my content i am much more
likely to respond compared to someone
who appears to have sent out a mass
depersonalized email so show off what
you know a bit one caveat do not fall
into the trap of fawning the entire
interaction just one or two sentences at
the beginning is plenty you want to
connect with the individual on a
personal level which brings us to our
next point steer conversations towards
things that elicit emotion for instance
someone's passion just watch john
boyega's eyes when he's asked about
something that he loves so first we
feast recently did a deep dive into the
connection between anime and hip-hop
on this new show that we have called
gochi gang and i know that you're a huge
fan this is important because often when
we meet someone that we admire we go
with the logistical things that we'd
like to know the answer to how did you
start what would you recommend to
someone at my age what can i do to get a
job working with you and in addition to
being the most common questions that
people in a public role may receive
those are also questions that don't
engage anyone on an emotional level now
you may not know john boyega loves anime
and hip-hop but you can still steer
questions towards an emotional response
by using the best and worst structure
which is one of sean's favorites just
watch
what was the best thing about living in
iowa and then what was the worst thing
about living in iowa oh wow good
question what do you see as some of the
watershed moments the highlights and the
lowlights when you look at that time in
asking these highlight and low light
questions the best and the worst shawn
gets people to talk about the things
that we all find irresistible first off
it's the things that we love those are
the things that we can go on forever
about here sean is asking adam carolla
about his love of crows and he waxes
philosophical crows
i love gross can you tell me why you
love those squawking birds so much and
describe it to me in as much detail as
possible
okay
now when people are sharing their low
lights they often won't share the things
that make them sad in fact those are
things that tend to get people to clamp
up but when you ask them more directly
about things that frustrate them well
people will talk your ear off and it's
partially because we're often told not
to complain so when someone gives us the
green light it can feel so good to
finally vent about something we find
annoying where are pitch meetings more
likely to be parodies of themselves in
hollywood or in silicon valley oh that's
a great question i think silicon valley
you'll literally get in an elevator and
someone's like i just gotta tell you
about my company i just gotta tell you
about me coming let me just tell you
about my company i have to tell you
about my company in either case of
things that people love and things that
they find frustrating the guest's
enthusiasm for the conversation spikes
and this is something that gets
associated with the question asker if
you're using this technique you so for
instance say that you get to the end of
an interview for your dream job and
you're asked so do you have any
questions for me much better than asking
well how do you like working here is to
adjust the question and ask instead so
tell me what would you say are the best
moments or highlights of your job and
what would you say the low lights are
maybe the most frustrating things the
emotional charge immediately generates
more interest but of course impressing
people that you admire goes beyond just
asking questions which is why you see
sean demonstrating that he isn't just a
replaceable starstruck question asking
machine for instance he'll playfully
tease guests like here when he jokes
about rhett and link's cheesy intros
here's one for those of you that are
unfamiliar who dominoes if pizza hut is
better let's talk about that and here
sean is teasing them about it what we'll
do is try to guess the flavor
oh you making fun of us if i were making
fun of you maybe i'd say something like
which cream is the dream let's talk
about it but i'm not going to say that
similarly when people poke fun at sean
he's comfortable shooting back a zinger
like here why am i asking
a snowstorm of a man
how dare you
is it hindi or urdu
like talking to an h r block
okay all whitey then
on the channel i've advised against
being sarcastic and i'm not telling you
to do that here but this willingness to
be playful highlights one of the most
important things that people leave out
of their encounters with those they
admire they don't have the willingness
to take the risk and have some fun we
can become so afraid of messing up that
we wind up being completely vanilla
which of course backfires when we don't
stand out at all so recognize if you
have a tendency to be especially literal
when you're nervous and if it's the case
lean towards cracking more jokes when
you're around people that you want to
impress a very simple way to do this is
by not answering every question that is
asked of you in a totally serious manner
sean demonstrates how to do this here
that's not normal no in fact this
program is not normal have you ever
killed anybody
we haven't heard from coolio in a long
time
seriously in the same vein when we want
to impress someone we sometimes lose our
ability to comfortably express
disagreement even it's about something
as simple as whether or not a movie that
we both saw is good or bad now this is
one that we don't get much chance to see
in the hot ones format but there is
another famous host who does this very
well and that is joe rogan you can dive
into the entire breakdown we did on him
linked in the description but here's
just one example of how to disagree with
someone in a way that is assertive while
still remaining polite and it's by
highlighting where you still agree prior
to disagreeing you beat gonzaga that was
a good fight yeah you you're a very good
fighter that's not what the the issue is
the issue is
can you become a champion if you can't
become a champion are you comfortable
with getting knocked out three or four
more times you could see more details on
joe rogan in the video on him but the
point for this video whenever it comes
to people that you want to impress is to
just make sure that you aren't stifling
your own thoughts and opinions in an
attempt to come off as agreeable and
that really takes us to the mindset that
makes all of this much easier to
incorporate and act upon when it comes
to those people that you want to impress
you need to see past what they may
represent to you to the human beneath
you see it's very easy to see people as
icons you may focus on how they can help
you to get promoted or the book that
they wrote or how impressive their
following must be and when you do that
it makes you feel completely separate
different and maybe even beneath them
but when you see them as human you
recognize that they probably have a life
a lot like yours outside of their public
persona they might like to goof off with
their friends brag about their kids
argue about sports or nerd out about
their favorite fantasy series and when
you look for those aspects you get
curious about exactly the things that
they want to connect over but everyone
else just breezes past and you realize
that you're not so different which helps
diminish the gulf that you may
unconsciously place between you asking
about their personal interests or
cracking a joke or even having a
spirited disagreement come much more
naturally when you see people not just
as the role but as a human if you feel
like your social confidence can be
inconsistent or just not there in the
moments where you most need it like with
superiors our charisma university
program comes with a 30-day action guide
that gives you a step-by-step path to
unshakeable confidence in that situation
and many many more you can read all
about the program with the link below
but the strongest way i believe is to
let you know what members have said
about the course themselves so here are
just a few things that cu members have
written in the first is from someone who
used cu in an interview and she says i
love the way that you lay out the
charisma styles it was awesome to see
which one fit my personality of the five
i found the authenticity style really
resonated with me i was super honest and
authentic during the interview for my
current job i was interviewing my boss
as much as she was interviewing me i got
the job and my boss still mentions my
interview and my honesty to this day
another member wrote in i was really bad
at expressing myself in situations that
weren't one-on-one in conversation i'd
find myself hesitant to speak or i'd get
caught in my own head over thinking
things after cu i am now way more
confident in saying what i think or how
i feel even in bigger group settings i
feel way more happy all the time i was
even able to talk to a woman i've had a
crush on for over a year and make a good
first impression overall i love this
course and i keep coming back to it when
i need a refresher on the daily action
modules and lastly one member writes
thank you so much for this program after
going through charisma university i've
made more friends have higher
self-esteem and can more easily talk to
people i don't know i've solidified my
values and i know who i am now now you
can see more success stories like those
in the comments if you decide to join
the course and if you do it comes with a
60-day money-back guarantee 100 for any
reason at all and that's 60 days even
though the course only takes 30 to
complete just to make sure that every
single member truly feels that they are
getting a ton of value from the course
so if you want to check out the course
go ahead click the link on screen now or
below in the description to do so we've
had thousands of members go through this
course and get a ton out of it and i'd
love for you to do the same especially
given that the new year is right around
the corner and this can be a fantastic
resolution either way i hope that you've
enjoyed this video and i look forward to
seeing you in the next one
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