How Intelligence Leads To Avoidance | Episode 003 Video Game Addiction

Summary

The speaker addresses the challenge gamers face in transitioning from the virtual world to real-life activities. They suggest that this issue stems from an early identity formed around being 'smart,' leading to avoidance of challenging tasks that could undermine this self-perception. The solution proposed involves reframing one's mindset from intelligence to experience, accepting inexperience, and embracing failure as part of the learning process. This shift is essential for overcoming the fear of judgment and moving forward in life.

Takeaways

• 🎮 Gamers often face challenges in transitioning skills and behaviors from the virtual world to real-life situations.
• 🤔 The speaker suggests that the root of the problem may lie in the way gamers are treated and perceive themselves from a young age.
• 🧠 Data indicates that the average gamer is smarter than the general population, which can lead to a 'smart kid' identity that influences behavior.
• 🚫 This identity can cause gamers to avoid activities that might make them appear less smart or competent, reinforcing a cycle of avoidance.
• 📚 The avoidance of challenging tasks can be detrimental in the long run, as it prevents the development of new skills and experiences.
• 🧐 The speaker emphasizes that being smart is not enough; experience and competence are what truly matter in life success.
• 🔄 Reframing one's mindset from 'smart or stupid' to 'experienced or inexperienced' can help overcome the fear of failure and judgment.
• 💡 Recognizing that success is tied to experience rather than innate intelligence can motivate individuals to seek out new challenges.
• 🚀 The speaker encourages gamers to embrace their inexperience and view failure as a natural part of the learning process.
• 🤝 Changing the mindset to focus on gaining experience can help gamers move forward and take action in real life.
• 🌟 The ultimate goal is to shift from a fear of appearing incompetent to an acceptance of the need for growth and practice.

Q & A

What is the main issue discussed in the script related to gamers?

The main issue discussed is the difficulty gamers face in transitioning from the virtual world of gaming to real-world activities and responsibilities.

Why do gamers have trouble doing things outside of video games?

Gamers often have trouble because they have developed an identity as being 'smart' and avoid activities that might make them appear less intelligent or competent.

What is the average gamer's intelligence level according to the script?

The script suggests that the average gamer is smarter than the rest of the population, with higher IQs.

How does being labeled as 'smart' affect a child's behavior?

Being labeled as 'smart' can lead children to develop an identity around this label, causing them to avoid activities that might challenge this perception and make them feel incompetent.

Why do smart kids tend to avoid challenging tasks?

Smart kids often avoid challenging tasks because they fear failure and the perception of being less smart, which could contradict their self-image.

What is the consequence of avoiding challenging tasks in the long term?

In the long term, avoiding challenging tasks can lead to a lack of growth and development in various skills and areas of life, as well as a sense of paralysis in pursuing new endeavors.

How does the speaker suggest reframing the issue of feeling judged or incompetent?

The speaker suggests reframing the issue from being about intelligence (smart or stupid) to being about experience (experienced or inexperienced), which can help in accepting the need for learning and practice.

What is the speaker's advice for overcoming the fear of failure?

The speaker advises gamers to view themselves as inexperienced rather than stupid, understanding that failure is a natural part of gaining experience and competence.

How does the speaker describe the relationship between intelligence and success?

The speaker argues that success is more closely related to experience and competence rather than raw intelligence, emphasizing the importance of practice and learning.

What is the role of practice in overcoming the paralysis felt by gamers?

Practice is crucial in overcoming paralysis as it helps build competence and confidence, making it easier to face new challenges and opportunities without fear of judgment or failure.

How can gamers begin to change their mindset to move forward in life?

Gamers can change their mindset by focusing on gaining experience and competence in areas they want to improve, rather than fixating on their perceived intelligence or fear of failure.

Outlines

00:00

🎮 Overcoming Gaming-Induced Inaction

The speaker addresses a common issue among gamers: the difficulty of transitioning from the virtual world to real-life activities. They suggest that this challenge stems from a deeply ingrained identity as a 'smart kid,' which can lead to avoidance of activities that might make one appear less intelligent. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding the root of this issue to effectively address it. They highlight that gamers, often being above average in intelligence, develop an identity around their smarts, which can lead to a reluctance to engage in challenging activities that might risk this self-perception. The speaker proposes reframing the mindset from one of intelligence to one of experience and competence, encouraging gamers to embrace the process of learning and the inevitable failures that come with it.

05:03

🧠 Redefining Success Beyond Intelligence

Building upon the previous paragraph, the speaker delves into the societal valuation of intelligence versus experience. They point out that while many people may be intelligent, it is the accumulation of experience and the willingness to embrace incompetence that truly leads to success. The speaker, identifying as a faculty member at Harvard Medical School, uses their own perceived intelligence as a point of comparison, suggesting that it is not the sole determinant of accomplishment. They advocate for a shift in self-perception from being smart or stupid to being experienced or inexperienced. This reframing is intended to alleviate the fear of failure and to encourage individuals to take action, practice, and learn from their experiences, ultimately leading to personal growth and the ability to overcome the paralysis that comes from the fear of judgment and perceived incompetence.

Keywords

💡Gamers

The term 'gamers' refers to individuals who regularly engage in playing video games. In the context of the video, it is used to describe a specific audience that faces challenges in transitioning their skills and behaviors from the virtual world of gaming to real-world activities. The speaker suggests that gamers may struggle with real-world tasks due to their gaming habits and the identity they've developed around their intelligence.

💡Real World

The 'real world' in this script contrasts with the virtual environment of video games. It represents the everyday life and activities outside of gaming, where the speaker suggests that gamers might face difficulties due to the lack of transferable skills or behaviors from their gaming experiences. The script implies that gamers may need to adapt to real-world expectations and challenges that are different from those encountered in games.

💡Identity

The concept of 'identity' in the script relates to the self-image or the way individuals perceive themselves. The speaker mentions that being labeled as 'smart' can lead to the development of a 'smart kid' identity, which influences behavior and choices. This identity can hinder the willingness to engage in activities that might challenge or contradict this self-perception, such as trying new things or admitting to being inexperienced.

💡Intelligence

The script discusses 'intelligence' as a trait that is often associated with gamers, suggesting that they have higher IQs than the average population. However, it also points out that relying solely on intelligence is not sufficient for success in life. The speaker argues that the value of intelligence is often overemphasized, and that experience and learning from failure are more critical for personal growth and achievement.

💡Experience

'Experience' in the script is presented as a critical factor for success, contrasting with the concept of innate intelligence. The speaker encourages gamers to reframe their mindset from being 'smart or stupid' to being 'experienced or inexperienced.' This shift in perspective is meant to help them embrace the process of learning and improving through practice and exposure to new challenges.

💡Incompetence

The term 'incompetence' is used to describe the feeling of being unable to perform a task well, often due to lack of experience. The speaker suggests that gamers may avoid situations where they feel incompetent because it conflicts with their self-identity as 'smart.' However, acknowledging and accepting incompetence as a natural part of gaining experience is presented as a healthier approach to personal development.

💡Avoidance

'Avoidance' in the script refers to the tendency of individuals to stay away from activities that make them feel less capable or smart. This behavior is linked to the development of a 'smart kid' identity and the fear of failure or looking foolish. The speaker argues that this avoidance can limit personal growth and the ability to tackle real-world challenges.

💡Paralysis

The script uses 'paralysis' to describe the state of being unable to act or make progress due to fear or self-doubt. In the context of gamers, it refers to the difficulty they may have in taking steps outside of their comfort zone in gaming, such as pursuing real-world goals or facing new challenges. The speaker suggests that reframing one's mindset can help overcome this paralysis.

💡Mindset

The concept of 'mindset' in the script refers to the mental attitude or perspective that individuals have towards themselves and their abilities. The speaker emphasizes the importance of changing one's mindset from focusing on intelligence to focusing on gaining experience and competence. This change is presented as a key step in overcoming the challenges faced by gamers in the real world.

💡Failure

'Failure' in the script is discussed as an inevitable part of the learning process, especially when trying new things or gaining experience. The speaker suggests that gamers' fear of failure may prevent them from taking risks and learning from their mistakes. By reframing failure as a normal part of being inexperienced, the speaker encourages gamers to be more accepting of it and to use it as a stepping stone to success.

💡Success

The term 'success' in the script is not solely defined by intelligence but is more closely tied to the accumulation of experience and the ability to learn from challenges and failures. The speaker argues that success is achieved through persistence, practice, and the willingness to engage in activities that may initially result in incompetence or failure.

Highlights

Gamers often face difficulty transitioning from the virtual world to real-life activities.

The issue stems from a lack of understanding of the root cause of this problem.

Gamers may have desires and dreams but struggle to act on them.

The speaker suggests that the paralysis in real-life action may originate from childhood experiences.

Data indicates that the average gamer is smarter than the general population.

Being labeled as 'smart' can lead to an identity that avoids activities that may make one appear less intelligent.

The avoidance of challenging tasks can become ingrained as one grows older.

Gamers may feel paralyzed by the fear of being observed and appearing incompetent.

The speaker proposes reframing intelligence to experience as a means to overcome this paralysis.

Society often values experience over raw intelligence.

Gamers may feel that despite their intelligence, they are not accomplishing much in life.

The speaker encourages gamers to reframe their mindset from smart or stupid to experienced or inexperienced.

Accepting inexperience can lead to a willingness to try new things and accept failure as part of the learning process.

The solution to inexperience is to engage in activities and learn from the process.

The fear of failure can be mitigated by embracing the concept of inexperience.

The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of mindset change for personal growth and overcoming obstacles.

Transcripts

one of the biggest problems

that gamers have is moving into the real

world and doing things outside of the

game I mean if you guys could do

whatever you wanted to outside of the

video game you wouldn't be here you

wouldn't be listening to me and that's a

perfectly reasonable problem to have as

crazy as that sounds and what I'd like

to do is start by digging into where

does that come from why is it that you

guys may have things that you want to do

but have trouble actually doing you have

hopes you have desires you have dreams

you even know what you shouldn't be

doing but you have trouble doing it and

so in my view the way to actually get

control of that the way to control your

behavior and start doing the things that

you want to be doing that you know you

should be doing is to understand where

that problem comes from in order to

understand how to fix something we have

to understand what's actually wrong and

I think a lot of the paralysis that

gamers have in doing things outside of a

video game actually comes from the way

that they're treated when they're very

young

a lot of gamers are smart data actually

shows that the average gamer is actually

smarter than the rest of the average

population that you guys have higher IQs

than the rest of the average person and

so what I found working with gamers is

that a lot of gamers when they grow up

they're told that they're smart and so

kids when they're told they're smart

something very interesting happens they

start to develop this identity that I'm

a smart kid and when they start to

develop an identity that they're a smart

kid they start to do things that

reinforce that identity and stay away

from things that contrast with that

identity so for example if I'm a smart

kid I want to do things that other

people are gonna perceive is smart but

if there's something I'm not very good

at if there's something that I try and

is gonna make me look stupid a kid is

actually not going to do that and so

over time what starts to happen is the

smart kid only does things that make him

appear to be smart which means that

things that are generally speaking

easier and stays away from things that

are

hard for them and so this works out fine

until they're like in third grade fourth

grade fifth grade because is a smart kid

you don't have to spend a whole lot of

time studying you can just do the things

that you want to and everyone like your

your parents or your teachers or your

family or family friends are all gonna

say oh look at that kid he's so bright

but over time what happens is those

kinds of kids start to avoid challenging

things because whenever they do

something that's challenging they feel

stupid and that's not who you are right

because you're a smart guy and I know

all of you guys think you're smart you

think you're super geniuses and the

funny thing is that's true but as I'm

sure you guys know being smart isn't

enough so let's kind of go back a little

bit to this idea of a smart kid doing

only things that they feel is smart and

so when they do that what happens is

they start to avoid difficult things and

as the kid gets older that avoidance

becomes kind of baked in it becomes a

part of who they are in how they move

around in the world and so this

avoidance actually starts at a very

young age and if you stop and think

about it the hardest things for gamers

to do the hardest thing for you to do is

something where you're being observed by

other people and you feel incompetent

and why is it that that bothers you so

much even if those are people that you

don't care about even if you're never

gonna see them again it's really hard

for you to do anything where other

people see how incompetent you are and

so what happens is gamers they run away

from any sort of experience that that

makes them feel less than smart or where

they feel kind of silly or incompetent

and that actually paralyzes you in life

because most of the things that you do

in life you're gonna suck at at the very

beginning and so if that's the case if

that resonates with you the next natural

question is if this problem starts

because you have a kid who has built up

this ego of them being smart in order to

preserve that ego they actually avoid

doing anything that that they have to

learn how to do they only do the simple

things then you end up where where are

you guys

are now which is that you know you

should do a lot of things but it's

really hard for you to do them because

of the way that you feel judged so how

do you get around that the first way you

get around that is by reframing a little

bit so in the world we tend to value

intelligence and we say like oh so for

example I'm I'm a faculty member at

Harvard Medical School and so when I

when people learn that they're the first

thing that they say is you must be so

smart and it's true like I'm a pretty

smart guy but I'm actually probably not

a whole lot smarter than you guys are

the what the world actually values in

rewards is experience incompetence

because if you think about it

a lot of people are really smart but

they actually don't amount to much and

that's probably the way that you feel

right now you feel that despite being so

smart you're not able to accomplish a

whole lot in life in 95 percent of

gamers when I talk to them about that

they say that it's because I'm lazy and

will dig into lazy but for now I want to

focus a little bit on reframing from

smart or stupid to experience an

inexperience so the more that in your

mind you can realize that actually your

success has nothing to do with your

intelligence it has to do with your

experience or inexperience and the

degree of competence you have the better

off you're gonna be so I encourage all

of you guys to think about what you want

to do and try to tell yourself try to

reframe in your mind that it's not that

I'm smart or I'm stupid but that I'm

experienced or inexperienced and the

more that you can start to approach

situations like that like let's say

applying for a job you can say oh I suck

at interviews but interviews require

practice and the more you practice at

interviewing the better off you're gonna

be and so I encourage all of you guys if

you're feeling paralyzed in life if

you're feeling like you can't move out

into the world and do the things that

you want or should do - first look at

yourself and ask yourself is the

roadblock to me moving forward because I

feel judged because I feel stupid

and if

the answer to that question which I

guess is yes then the first solution

that you have to do is a change in your

mindset don't think of yourself as

stupid think of yourself as

inexperienced in the neat thing about

that is that the more you think of

yourself is inexperienced the more you

naturally realize that the solution to

inexperience is to try things and the

funny thing is that when you try things

and you accept that you're inexperienced

you're actually okay failing and if you

really look at yourselves I would bet

money that the problem that you have is

that you can't tolerate the idea of

failing but if you can reframe to

inexperience

then failure is kind of a normal part of

it right you've got to learn you've got

to stumble a couple of times before you

learn how to walk and if you guys can

make that shift I think that's gonna be

the first step to you being able to move

forward in the world and kind of

overcome that obstacle of feeling like

you're stupid or feeling like you're

judged