Wisdom for when you LIKE someone: 3 Tips - Whiteboard Series
Summary
TLDRThis video offers Christian advice on navigating romantic feelings. It emphasizes discerning between the idea of someone and their reality, aligning paths with shared values, and growing in selfless love. Using biblical examples like Samson and Delilah, it advises evaluating if someone is truly good for you and encourages maintaining friendships with genuine care, regardless of romantic outcomes. It concludes with practical tips and a reminder of Jesus' love.
Takeaways
- 💭 Recognize the difference between loving the idea of someone and the person themselves. Just because you feel a strong attraction doesn't mean the relationship is right for you.
- 📜 Use biblical examples, like Samson and Delilah, to understand the consequences of being misled by love and not discerning the true character of a person.
- 🔍 Assess whether the person you're interested in aligns with your life path and spiritual growth. Are they supportive of your faith and goals?
- 👣 Consider the direction of your life and whether the person you like would encourage and support your walk with God or potentially hinder it.
- 🤔 Ask yourself hard questions about your motivations for being with someone. Is it because of genuine love and compatibility, or due to superficial reasons?
- 🌟 Look for overlapping paths with the person you admire. Are your life goals and values in harmony, and would they contribute positively to your journey?
- 💔 Accept that you may not end up with the person you admire, and see this as an opportunity for spiritual growth and learning about love.
- 👫 Cultivate a genuine friendship with the person you like, focusing on their well-being and representing Christ in your interactions, regardless of the relationship's outcome.
- 🌱 Grow in love by being selfless and serving others, using your feelings for someone as a chance to develop deeper compassion and understanding.
- 🙏 Seek advice from those with experience in love and relationships, such as married couples, to gain wisdom and guidance.
- ❤️ Remember that no matter the complexities of love, Jesus loves you unconditionally and should be the foundation of all your relationships.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the video script?
-The main theme of the video script is providing guidance for Christians on how to handle feelings of love and attraction towards someone, with a focus on discerning the person's character and compatibility with their spiritual journey.
What biblical story is used to illustrate the importance of discerning the reality of a person's character?
-The story of Samson and Delilah from Judges 16:4-6 is used to illustrate the importance of discerning the reality of a person's character and not being misled by love or feelings.
Why did the Lords of the Philistines approach Delilah in the story?
-The Lords of the Philistines approached Delilah to entice Samson and find out the secret of his great strength, with the intention to overpower and bind him, offering her 1100 pieces of silver as a reward.
What lesson can be learned from Samson's relationship with Delilah?
-The lesson from Samson's relationship with Delilah is that love or feelings of love can sometimes lead us to be rash and make poor decisions, especially when it comes to trusting someone who may not have our best interests at heart.
What does the video suggest about the difference between loving the idea of someone and loving the person themselves?
-The video suggests that it's important to distinguish between loving the idea of someone, which may be based on superficial qualities or fantasies, and truly loving the person for who they are, including their character and actions.
What does the term 'overlapping paths' refer to in the context of the video script?
-The term 'overlapping paths' refers to the idea of evaluating whether the person you are attracted to shares similar life goals, values, and spiritual direction as you, which is important for a healthy and supportive relationship.
How does the Book of Amos relate to the concept of walking together in agreement?
-In the Book of Amos, God's desire to walk with Israel in a direction of blessing and protection is contrasted with Israel's disobedience and rebellion, leading to the concept that walking together in agreement is essential for a harmonious and purposeful relationship.
What questions should one ask themselves when considering the compatibility of a potential partner?
-One should ask themselves about their own life goals, passions, and ambitions, and then consider whether the potential partner would support and encourage these aspirations, or if they might be a hindrance.
What advice does the video give regarding the approach to friendship with someone you admire?
-The video advises to be a genuine friend to the person you admire, not just with the intention of pursuing a romantic relationship, but because they are a person with a soul who may need support and friendship.
What biblical passage is cited to encourage believers to look out for others' interests?
-Philippians chapter 2, verses 3 to 4, which encourages believers to act without selfish ambition or conceit, and to consider others' interests as more significant than their own.
What is the final piece of advice given in the video regarding love and relationships?
-The final piece of advice is to grow in love, be selfless, and serve the person you admire in love, regardless of whether the relationship develops into something more, and to seek advice from those with experience in marriage.
Outlines
💘 Discerning Love: Reality vs. Idea
This paragraph discusses the importance of distinguishing between the idealized image of a loved one and their true nature. It uses the biblical story of Samson and Delilah to illustrate how love can cloud judgment and lead to negative outcomes. The key takeaway is that Christians should be cautious and discerning in their romantic feelings, ensuring that they are not misled by their emotions but rather consider the true character and intentions of the person they are attracted to.
🛤️ Finding Common Paths in Love and Faith
The second paragraph emphasizes the significance of shared life paths and values in a relationship, especially from a Christian perspective. It references Amos 3:1-3 to highlight the importance of agreement and unity in direction. The summary points out the need to evaluate whether a potential partner aligns with one's spiritual journey and life goals. It suggests asking oneself if the person would support and encourage one's walk with God, and whether their lifestyle and ambitions are compatible with one's own.
🌱 Growing in Love Through Selfless Friendship
This paragraph offers advice on how to approach unrequited feelings or admiration by focusing on building a genuine friendship. It draws from Philippians 2:3-4, encouraging believers to look beyond their own interests and to practice humility and care for others. The summary explains that even if a romantic relationship does not develop, the experience can be valuable for personal growth in love and service. It advises treating the admired person with the love and respect that Jesus would, regardless of the relationship's outcome.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Love
💡Christian
💡Delilah
💡Discernment
💡Reality
💡Overlapping Paths
💡Selfish Ambition
💡Humility
💡Service
💡Friendship
💡Marriage
Highlights
The feeling of love can consume your mind and affect your daily thoughts.
Christians should discern whether their feelings are based on reality or just an idealized version of the person.
The story of Samson and Delilah illustrates the dangers of falling for someone who doesn't have your best interests at heart.
Love can sometimes cause rash decisions and blind us to a person's true character.
It's important to ask yourself if you like someone for who they are or for the idea of being with them.
The Book of Amos emphasizes the importance of walking in agreement with God's will.
Israel's disobedience and rebellion led to punishment, highlighting the need for alignment with God's path.
Consider whether the person you like shares your life goals and values.
Ask yourself if the person would support your walk with God and encourage your spiritual growth.
Think about whether the person would be a hindrance or a help in your life's journey.
Philippians 2:3-4 encourages believers to look out for others' interests and not just their own.
You may not end up with the person you admire, but God can use them to teach you valuable lessons.
Being a friend to someone you admire is important, regardless of whether it turns into a romantic relationship.
Treat the person you admire as you would want to be treated, in a loving and selfless manner.
Love can be messy, and seeking advice from those with experience in marriage can be beneficial.
As you navigate love and romance, remember that Jesus loves you unconditionally.
Transcripts
[Music]
so I'm sure we've all had that special
someone that makes our heart smile it's
something about the way they look or
smile or laugh and the thought of them
consumes our minds they're the first
thought when we wake up and the last
thought when we fall asleep
so if you're a Christian what are you
supposed to do when you feel this way
you've come to the right place whether
you have a certain someone in mind have
Ambitions for marriage or can provide
some insight for a friend who's in love
here's some tips on what you should do
if you like someone tip number one
discern idea versus reality Judges
chapter 16 Verses 4 to 6. afterward it
happens that Samson loved a woman in the
valley of sorek whose name was Delilah
and the Lords of the Philistines came up
to her and said to her entice him and
find out where his great strength lies
and by what means we may overpower him
that we may bind him to afflict him and
every one of us will give you 1100
pieces of silver so Delilah said to
Samson please tell me where your great
strength belies and with what you may be
bound to afflict you now Samson was a
judge of Israel who fell madly in love
with the woman named Delilah but despite
her beautiful appearance she was someone
who never loved Samson and was the cause
of his downfall here's the lesson just
because you're in love with someone
doesn't automatically mean they're good
for you love or feelings of love rather
can cause us to be rash and downright
dumb sometimes we can be like Samson
where we end up falling for someone who
doesn't have our best interest in mind
so if we come to a place where our heart
longs for someone we need to stop and we
need to look at them and see if we love
the idea of them rather than who they
actually are
Samson loved the idea of Delilah he
thought she was someone safe someone he
could trust with his secrets and
vulnerabilities but the reality was that
she was the enemy who would attack if
the opportunity presented itself
we as followers of God cannot be misled
by our feelings we have to be honest
with ourselves and ask do I like this
person because I like the idea of being
with someone because I like being liked
or because I'm lonely or because they
make me feel good or maybe just because
they look good
or do I like them for who they actually
are right now
tip number two look for overlapping
paths Amos chapter 3 verses one to three
hear this word that the Lord has spoken
against you o children of Israel against
the whole family which I brought up from
the land of Egypt saying you only have I
known of all the families of the earth
therefore I will punish you for all your
iniquities can't you walk together
unless they're agreed
in the Book of Amos the nation of Israel
was going to be punished by God for
their Disobedience and rebellion and God
then asks
to walk together unless they're agreed
what God was saying is that God wanted
to lead Israel in a certain direction he
wanted to bless them to protect them and
teach them but Israel instead of obeying
God gave themselves over to sexual
immorality they attacked the innocent
compromised their morals and altogether
rejected God God wanted a relationship
with his people but saw that Israel was
going in a different direction all this
to say consider the person you like are
they going down a path that you want to
go down if you're a Christian would they
be someone who would encourage your walk
with God would they pray for you would
they give you Grace despite your
failures some other questions to throw
in your mind
what do you want in life what career do
you want to pursue what are your
passions and what do you want to
accomplish in other words where are you
going now hold that thought and think
would this person support that would
they encourage you and help you
or
would they be a hindrance who takes from
you time finances and your energy all
this to say if you like someone you
should know where you're going in life
and you need to discern if this person
would help and protect you
or if they would hinder or possibly harm
you
tip number three grow in love
Philippians chapter 2 verses 3 to 4 do
nothing from selfish ambition or conceit
but in humility count others more
significant than yourselves Let each of
you look not only to his own interests
but also to the interests of others
In this passage Paul encourages
Believers not to act selfishly but to
look out for other people's interests
and cares
now you need to come to terms with the
fact that you may not end up with the
person that you admire and that's okay
because God will use the people you love
to teach you lessons that will help
prepare you for your future but so long
as this person is in your life
you should try to be their friend
don't be their friend only to have a
shot at being their boyfriend or
girlfriend be their friend because they
have a soul
because they have weaknesses and
insecurities that maybe you could help
and because God may want you to
represent him well in your friendship
with them maybe your friendship will
develop into something more
and maybe not regardless if you like
someone use this as an opportunity to
grow in your love for people because
this person will either be someone that
you marry or be someone that God will
use to teach you what love is and should
be
so if you find yourself admiring this
special someone consider these three
tips
tip number one discern idea versus
reality just because they make your
heart flutter doesn't mean they're good
for you you may be falling for the idea
of them rather than who they actually
are
tip number two look for overlapping
paths ask yourself the hard questions
where do you want to go in life and
would this person help or hinder you and
tip number three grow in love be their
friend and treat them the way Jesus
would want you to regardless if it ends
up in a relationship don't live
selfishly but selflessly and see if you
could serve them in love love can be
messy sometimes so I'd recommend getting
advice from people who've been married a
while in the meantime we hope this helps
and as you figure out the world of love
and romance never forget
Jesus loves you
[Music]
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