What Doesn't Kill You DOESN'T Make You Stronger, Here's Why (Trauma)

Summary

This video script challenges the adage 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' highlighting its oversimplification of human resilience in the face of trauma. It argues that while some adversity can foster growth, traumatic events like abuse and neglect may leave lasting scars and require significant recovery efforts. The script critiques the phrase for dismissing the complexity of individual experiences and perpetuating toxic masculinity. It emphasizes the importance of compassion, self-care, and acknowledging the unique impact of adversities on different individuals.

Takeaways

• 💪 The quote 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is often used to praise survivors of adversity, suggesting growth through challenges.
• 😔 However, the phrase can dismiss the lasting effects of trauma, such as substance abuse and the need for therapy, which are not always acknowledged.
• 🤔 The video challenges the oversimplification that adversity always leads to strength, highlighting the complexity of trauma's impact on individuals.
• 🧗‍♂️ It acknowledges that minor adversities like physical challenges or failures can indeed build resilience and strength.
• 😢 But severe traumas, such as abuse and neglect, can leave deep emotional scars and lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, complicating the idea of becoming stronger.
• 🌙 The video suggests that offering immediate strength through adversity may not be helpful and can rush people through their emotions without processing.
• 🤝 It emphasizes the importance of being present and compassionate, rather than rushing someone to 'get over it' or find strength immediately.
• 🧘‍♀️ Self-care and professional treatment are crucial for recovery from trauma, and the quote fails to mention the time and effort required for healing.
• 🚫 The phrase can perpetuate toxic masculinity by discouraging vulnerability and promoting the idea of 'bottling up feelings' as a sign of strength.
• 🌈 The video argues against the reductive nature of the quote, advocating for the recognition of unique individual experiences and responses to adversity.
• 💌 It concludes by encouraging compassion and understanding of others' experiences, suggesting that not everyone will react or grow from adversity in the same way.

Q & A

What is the main argument against the phrase 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' presented in the video script?

The main argument is that the phrase often dismisses the long-term effects of traumatic events, such as substance abuse, trauma, and the need for years of therapy, suggesting that not all adversities necessarily make people stronger.

How does the script suggest that traumatic events can affect a person's life?

The script suggests that traumatic events can leave scars, cause unhealthy coping mechanisms, and may result in long-term issues such as PTSD, emotional problems, and severe addiction if untreated.

What is the potential issue with using the phrase 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' to comfort someone in pain?

The issue is that it can rush people through their emotions without allowing them to process their feelings, and it may lack compassion and empathy when they need it the most.

What should be considered before using the phrase 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' in a conversation according to the script?

It's important to remain present and compassionate, and to let the person come to their own conclusion when they are ready, without rushing them.

How does the script relate the phrase to the concept of toxic masculinity?

The script relates the phrase to toxic masculinity by pointing out that such statements often discourage vulnerability, treating it as a weakness, and force people to bottle up their feelings, which is unhealthy.

What does the script suggest as a healthier alternative to the phrase 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'?

The script suggests that acknowledging each person's unique experiences and offering compassion to those struggling with their adversities is a healthier approach.

How does the script address the oversimplification of human experience by the phrase?

The script points out that the phrase is reductive and fails to acknowledge the uniqueness of individual experiences, reducing all of us to a single statement that oversimplifies our lives.

What is the script's stance on the belief that everyone should come out of adversities the same way?

The script argues against this belief, stating that the phrase can perpetuate the idea that everyone experiences the same adversities and should react the same way, which is not true.

What is the script's view on the importance of self-care and treatment in the context of overcoming trauma?

The script emphasizes that only with proper self-care and treatment do people have a chance at being made stronger from the effects of trauma.

How does the script suggest we should respond to someone who is struggling with adversities?

The script suggests that we should strive to acknowledge their unique experiences, offer compassion, and not make assumptions about how they should react or recover.

What is the script's final call to action for viewers regarding the phrase 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'?

The script encourages viewers to reflect on whether the phrase is true for them and to share their thoughts in the comments below, while also reminding them of their importance.