Why nobody respects you.

Leilani
5 Jul 202416:47

Summary

TLDRThe speaker passionately addresses the importance of self-respect and demanding respect from others, drawing from personal experiences as a 'black sheep.' They discuss the impact of childhood treatment on adult self-perception and behavior, emphasizing the need to take oneself seriously to command respect. The script encourages viewers to recognize their inherent equality, challenge mistreatment, and defend their self-worth, likening oneself to a best friend deserving of protection and respect.

Takeaways

  • 🌟 Self-respect is foundational for gaining respect from others and is deeply personal to the speaker.
  • 🐑 Feeling like an 'outcast' or 'black sheep' can lead to a pattern of accepting disrespect from others.
  • 🧠 Childhood experiences significantly influence adult behavior and self-perception, including how one demands respect.
  • 🔄 Low self-esteem can lead to a cycle of mistreatment and a lack of assertiveness in setting boundaries.
  • 💭 The speaker emphasizes the importance of internal change, starting with how one views and treats oneself.
  • 🚶‍♂️ The way one presents oneself externally, including body language and speech, can communicate self-respect or lack thereof.
  • 🤝 Recognizing and treating oneself as an equal to others is a crucial step towards demanding respect.
  • 🔄 People who disrespect others often feel insecure or inferior themselves, projecting their feelings onto others.
  • 🤔 The speaker encourages self-reflection and challenging the internalized belief of being unworthy of respect.
  • 🌱 Healing involves peeling back layers of trauma and realizing that one deserves to be treated with dignity.
  • 🌈 The speaker acknowledges the complexity of the topic and the need for multiple discussions to fully explore it.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic discussed in the video script?

    -The main topic discussed in the video script is the importance of self-respect and ensuring that others respect you as well.

  • Why is the speaker passionate about the topic of self-respect?

    -The speaker is passionate about the topic of self-respect because they have personally experienced being treated as less deserving of respect due to their eccentric and energetic nature during childhood and into adulthood.

  • How does the speaker describe their childhood experiences related to respect?

    -The speaker describes their childhood experiences as being treated as a 'black sheep' and not receiving the respect they deserved from family, friends, and classmates.

  • What complex did the speaker develop due to their upbringing?

    -The speaker developed a complex where they felt they didn't deserve to speak up for themselves, set boundaries, or defend their worth, often worrying about the reactions of others if they did so.

  • What is the first step the speaker suggests for gaining respect from others?

    -The first step the speaker suggests is to take oneself seriously, treat oneself as a human, and respect oneself, as this attitude will reflect in one's demeanor, actions, and speech.

  • Why do people subconsciously pick up on how you present yourself?

    -People subconsciously pick up on how you present yourself because it gives them cues about how you view yourself and whether you command respect.

  • What example does the speaker give to illustrate how disrespect can manifest in a group?

    -The speaker gives the example of a group of friends making fun of or bullying a person who acts 'weird' or differently, viewing them as less than human and not taking them seriously.

  • What realization does the speaker want the audience to have about people who disrespect them?

    -The speaker wants the audience to realize that people who disrespect them view them in a deplorable and awful way, and they should not tolerate or entertain such people in their lives.

  • What scenario does the speaker use to illustrate the importance of defending oneself?

    -The speaker uses the scenario of a teenager who has been abused by their parents and then sees their younger sibling being abused, prompting them to defend the younger sibling and recognize the wrong treatment.

  • What does the speaker suggest is the core belief that should be adopted regarding oneself and others?

    -The speaker suggests adopting the core belief that every person is equal, with no one being better or worse than anyone else, and that everyone deserves basic human decency and respect.

  • How does the speaker address the issue of people feeling superior or inferior to others?

    -The speaker addresses this by stating that people who belittle others often feel insecure and inferior in their own lives, and it's important to recognize that everyone is on a different learning path and deserves equal respect.

  • What personal realization did the speaker have about their own self-worth while crossing a street?

    -The speaker realized that they are equal to others and deserve respect, which helped them to not feel guilty or anxious about existing around others, and to maintain their pace while crossing the street.

  • What does the speaker plan to do in response to the messages they have received from their audience?

    -The speaker plans to read and respond to the majority of the messages they have received, expressing appreciation for the input and promising to address them as soon as possible.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Self-Respect and Its Impact on Personal Growth

The speaker opens with a personal reflection on the importance of self-respect, sharing their own experiences as a 'black sheep' who struggled with feeling respected. They discuss the childhood roots of these feelings and how they persisted into adulthood, leading to a pattern of accepting mistreatment from others. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's own worth and setting boundaries to foster respect from others, illustrating the idea through examples of behavior and social dynamics.

05:00

🚫 Confronting Disrespect and Asserting Equality

In this paragraph, the speaker encourages the audience to stop tolerating disrespect and to recognize their own worth as equal to others. They use the analogy of defending a younger sibling to inspire anger and action against those who mistreat them. The speaker also touches on the idea that disrespect often stems from the perpetrator's own insecurities, and they stress the importance of self-respect as a foundation for demanding respect from others.

10:00

💡 Realizing Equality and Rejecting Inferiority

The speaker delves deeper into the concept of equality, urging individuals to see themselves as on the same level as everyone else and not to tolerate being viewed as inferior. They share personal experiences of feeling belittled and how they learned to overcome these feelings by recognizing their own self-worth. The speaker also points out the hypocrisy in both mistreating others and accepting mistreatment, advocating for a mindset of mutual respect.

15:02

🛑 Embracing Existence and Ending Self-Imposed Guilt

In the final paragraph, the speaker addresses the idea of feeling guilty for one's existence, suggesting that this guilt is unfounded. They argue that everyone has a right to exist and occupy space without apology. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about crossing a street and realizing their equality with others, which helped to alleviate feelings of guilt and anxiety. They conclude by expressing gratitude for the audience's engagement and promising to address more on this topic in future videos.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Self-respect

Self-respect refers to the intrinsic value one places on oneself, recognizing one's own worth and dignity. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of self-respect as a foundation for gaining respect from others. The speaker's personal experiences with feeling disrespected and not being treated as an equal highlight the significance of self-respect in personal development and social interactions.

💡Mistreatment

Mistreatment is the act of treating someone unfairly or with a lack of consideration. The script discusses the speaker's past experiences of being mistreated by family and friends, which contributed to a complex of not deserving respect. This concept is central to the video's theme of recognizing one's own worth and demanding respect from others.

💡Complex

In psychology, a complex is an emotional issue or pattern of behavior that is hidden but affects one's actions and feelings. The speaker mentions having a complex due to childhood experiences, which led to a pattern of allowing others to mistreat them. This concept is integral to understanding the speaker's journey towards self-respect and advocating for oneself.

💡Eccentric

Eccentric refers to behavior that deviates from conventional norms. The speaker describes being seen as eccentric during childhood, which contributed to a lack of respect from others. This term is used to illustrate the speaker's unique personality and the challenges they faced due to not conforming to societal expectations.

💡Subconscious

Subconscious refers to the part of the mind that operates below the level of conscious awareness but can influence thoughts and actions. The video mentions that people subconsciously pick up on cues of self-disrespect, which can affect how they are treated by others. This concept is key to understanding non-verbal communication and its impact on social dynamics.

💡Bullying

Bullying is the use of force, coercion, or threat to abuse or intimidate others. The script uses the example of a friend group bullying a 'weird' individual to illustrate how disrespect can manifest in social groups. This example serves to highlight the negative impact of disrespecting others and the importance of treating everyone with dignity.

💡Equality

Equality is the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities. The video emphasizes the concept of equality as a fundamental aspect of human interaction, asserting that every person is equal and deserving of respect. The speaker encourages the audience to recognize their own equality and to reject any treatment that implies otherwise.

💡Defending oneself

Defending oneself means standing up for one's own rights, dignity, or interests. The speaker discusses the importance of defending oneself against mistreatment and not tolerating disrespect. This concept is a central message of the video, urging the audience to take a stand against any form of mistreatment they may experience.

💡Insecurity

Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty or anxiety about oneself or one's abilities. The video suggests that people who belittle others may be acting out of their own insecurities. Understanding this can help the audience empathize with such individuals while still maintaining their own self-respect and boundaries.

💡Trauma

Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that can have lasting effects on a person's mental health. The speaker mentions the need to 'peel away layers of trauma' to heal from the effects of disrespect and mistreatment. This concept is important for understanding the deep emotional impact of such experiences and the process of recovery.

💡Human decency

Human decency refers to the basic moral principles that guide fair and respectful treatment of others. The video argues that everyone deserves basic human decency and respect, regardless of their perceived status or behavior. This concept is a call to action for the audience to expect and demand decency in their interactions with others.

Highlights

The importance of self-respect and the impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships and self-perception.

Being treated as the 'black sheep' and the resulting complex of accepting mistreatment due to low self-esteem.

The subconscious signals we send when we don't respect ourselves and how others pick up on these cues.

The analogy of bullying in a friend group to illustrate how disrespect can manifest and be internalized.

The realization that disrespect from others is a reflection of how they view you, and the need to change that narrative.

The call to action to stop tolerating mistreatment and to get angry over the injustice of being treated as less than human.

Understanding that every person is equal and the absurdity of accepting or giving less respect to others.

The scenario of defending a younger sibling to emphasize the importance of standing up for oneself.

The concept of viewing oneself as one's own best friend and the responsibility to protect and respect oneself.

The acknowledgment of the speaker's personal struggle with self-esteem and the journey to self-respect.

The idea that people who belittle others often feel insecure themselves, and the cycle of respect and disrespect.

The realization of equality and respect during a simple act of crossing the street, illustrating the power of mindset.

The speaker's intention to create a series of videos on this topic due to its depth and importance.

The speaker's appreciation for the audience's input and the emotional connection established through shared experiences.

The speaker's commitment to respond to audience messages and the community-building aspect of the discussion.

The emphasis on the topic's gravity and the need for a deeper exploration in future videos.

The speaker's candid admission of sleep deprivation affecting the video's coherence and the potential for a remake.

Transcripts

play00:00

hey guys today I wanted to discuss the

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topic of respecting yourself and having

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other people around you respect you in

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turn um this is definitely very near and

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dear topic to my heart as somebody who

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is treated as a black sheep or somebody

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who didn't really deserve respect or

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deserve a lot of things growing up

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because I was an incredibly Ecentric and

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energetic child

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and it kind of

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it it defin it definitely followed me

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into my

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adulthood I was treated by the adults

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around me I was treated by my family my

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friends um in a manner

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that I didn't deserve respect and I

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didn't deserve to be treated as an equal

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to all these other people around me as

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my sisters as my friends and Etc as my

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classmates and again this had really

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followed me into my adulthood and it had

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given me a complex where I was

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constantly letting others mistreat me

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and I thought I didn't necessarily

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deserve to be able to speak up for

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myself for example or I didn't really

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get the deserve to set a boundary and be

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like no don't treat me this way because

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it would make me uncomfortable like what

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if it hurts their like what if it makes

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them mad what if it hurts their feelings

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if I uh speak up for myself or what if I

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just don't deserve this what if I

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deserve this treatment and what if

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what if they get mad at me for defending

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myself what if they think weirdly of me

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for defending myself and it's it's such

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a complicated topic

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and at the very root of

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it your childhood and what you pull in

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from that into your adulthood is a

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filter over your entire life essentially

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it is a

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filter and things will be things that

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are Hest like kind of crazy will be

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normalized in your own eyes because of

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your childhood and because of what you

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accepted growing up because of what you

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were given growing up and so it teaches

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you it would teach you to accept awful

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abysmal behavior from other people it

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would teach you to accept terrible

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things

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and the very first step in having others

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respect you as a human and treat you as

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an

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equal is to take yourself seriously is

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to treat yourself as a human is to

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respect

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yourself

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it's whenever you don't respect yourself

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it typically comes up in your demeanor

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and the way you act and the way you

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speak let me give you an example um if

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you were talking about your feelings

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maybe or something like that and you

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ended your sentence and like oh or

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something oh or oh it doesn't matter

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though it's not a huge deal like just

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tiny indicators

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of like that in your demeanor that you

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don't respect yourself and that your

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feelings don't matter and other people

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subconsciously pick up on that whether

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you think it like what whether you think

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they do or not people subconsciously

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pick up on that and people will begin to

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treat you how you externally present

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yourself even if they're aware of what

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they're doing what they're doing even if

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they're

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aware if they're not aware and

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it's it's

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I want

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to bring up an example say you in your

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friend group get together and you guys

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make fun of this one kid this one person

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who acts a weird way or maybe wrong

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somebody in the friend group but they're

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like kind of weird and you guys bully

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them for that and your like friend group

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or you you're like oh my God they're so

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so weird for that and you guys like kind

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of view them as like a

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below human sort of thing like you guys

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don't take that person

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seriously I want you to take that I

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going hold on to the idea maybe you

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don't do it now maybe you're past that

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point maybe you're more mature but um n

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nine times out of 10 when you're when

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you're a kid you're going to be doing

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that kind of thing or when you're in

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middle school high school you're going

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to you're going to do that kind of thing

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and I want you to hold this idea in your

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mind of how you guys would talk about

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the person how you guys would view this

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person and I want you to flip that

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narrative around and I want you to

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realize that that is how somebody who is

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disrespecting you who isn't taking you

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seriously that is exactly how they view

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you and how icky is

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that I just I want you to sit with that

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and I want you to get the ack over that

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like somebody in your life doesn't

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respect you that is how they view you

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they don't take you seriously they don't

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take the things you say and do seriously

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and I want you to sit with that and I

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want you to get the ick I want you to

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stop taking that person seriously

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because why are you entertaining

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somebody who doesn't take you seriously

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as a

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person why are you entertaining somebody

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in your life who thinks of you in such a

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deplorable and like just awful

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way

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and I want you to take that and I want

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you to get mad I want to get mad over it

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and be like well no I don't deserve this

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treatment I want you to think on that

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and be like well no I'm human too every

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single person is exactly equal exactly

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there's nobody better than you there's

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nobody worse than you every single

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person is exactly equal maybe okay maybe

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somebody is on a different stage of

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learning in their path maybe they don't

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realize things you do that doesn't make

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them better or worse than you they're

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still human learning just like you

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are and

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I want you to take that and I want you

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to realize it's ridiculous whenever

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people treat you like you're less than

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human it's ridiculous when people like

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treat you like you're less than they are

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that's

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ridiculous and you should get the ache

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over that you should get upset over that

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you shouldn't you shouldn't tolerate

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that at all in your life you shouldn't

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tolerate that in your friend group you

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shouldn't tolerate that in general

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and I want you to look at this person

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and realize I am an exact equal to this

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person this person is not better than me

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this person is not worse than me and

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frankly they don't have the right to

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treat me like I am less than them and I

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want you to get the ack I want you to

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walk away from that person because what

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on Earth else are you doing letting

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people all around you treat you like

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you're less than a

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human because it's just not logical it

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is not logical

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let me give you a scenario

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imagine say for example you'd been

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abused by your parents your whole life

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maybe they hit you maybe they yelled at

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you go on screaming fights

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and you grew up you're a teenager now

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you have bodily auton autonomy you can

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defend yourself now I want you to think

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of say you have a little sister or a

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little brother and your parents start

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doing that kind of thing to them they

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start yelling at them they start beating

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beating them now as somebody with bodily

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autonomy you're going to defend them

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you're going to get mad you're going to

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get really upset and you're going to

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you're going to you're going to yell at

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your parents back maybe you're going to

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argue with your parents back or maybe

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after they're done with all this you're

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going to go back to your little sister's

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room your little brother's room and be

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like hey what they did was wrong that

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was wrong they shouldn't have treated

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you that

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way now I want you to take this

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narrative and put yourself in that

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little kid's shoes imagine yourself as a

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little kid

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getting yelled at by these people

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getting ridiculed getting humiliated by

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these people getting put down by these

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people and I want you to get mad I want

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you to defend that little kid in you

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because you never deserved that

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treatment you never deserved to be

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taught that you were worth less than any

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other person you never deserved that and

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I want you to get angry like you would

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defend a sister or a best friend or a

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little brother and I want you to take

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that and put that anger towards the

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people who are treating you that way

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because at the end of the day why is

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somebody treating you like they are less

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like like you are less than them why are

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you tolerating that

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I and I quickly wanted to add I know

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that editing is going to be choppy and

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such but I quickly wanted to add that um

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at the end of the day you go home to

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yourself you go home to your own mind

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and you are the person you live with

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your entire life so in that logic you

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are your own best friend and why on

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Earth would you not defend your own best

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friend why on Earth would you sit there

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and let your own best friend get treated

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like awfully get treated like

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[ __ ] why would you let your friend get

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treated that way at the end of the day

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you are who you go home to you your own

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mind your body is the person you go home

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to you are your own best friend you are

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the person you have

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and you deserve to be protective over

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that person you deserve to be protective

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over yourself and protective

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over just over yourself because you are

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your own best friend you are your own

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best friend sorry guys I'm so sleep

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deprived I'm soring my words but I hope

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I'm getting my point across anyway back

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to the

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video it's it's a difficult topic it's a

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difficult topic and you have to peel

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away a lot of layers of trauma to really

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heal something like

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this but it really just starts with the

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realization that you don't deserve to be

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treated in this way

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that these people are directing towards

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you and I I do want to mention nine

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times out of 10 the people

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who the people who belittle you also

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feel insecure in their own lives they

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also feel that they are inferior to some

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other people and it's like it's like a

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balance sort of thing like they they put

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other people they put some people on a

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pedestal and then they'll put some

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people below them

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it's it's

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just it's I've lost my train of thought

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but I can personally say from experience

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when I had a low self-esteem and I was

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letting people disrespect me left and

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right I had also been in this weird Mind

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Funk area where I would think I was

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better than some people but also worse

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than some people so I couldn't like

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quite view myself as human and I

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couldn't make friends it was either it

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was always either this person's below me

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or this person's better than me and I'm

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going to be self-conscious of myself

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around this person and I'm going to

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be basically a terrible person to this

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person

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and

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it's it's it's something to get past

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definitely you have to realize that you

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are literally equal to every single

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person there's nobody below you there's

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nobody above you you are equal to every

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single person on this planet every

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single

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person and you shouldn't be tolerating

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mistreatment or you shouldn't be

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tolerating being viewed

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as Unworthy of this person's basic human

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decency and respect that is insane to me

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and that also means you shouldn't be

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viewing other people as below you or not

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taking other people seriously because

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it's honest honestly it goes both

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ways and yeah this is definitely a topic

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I'm going to have to make several videos

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on because it is just such a lengthy

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thing and definitely such a thing to get

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over

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but uh I really hope this does reach who

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it needs to and guys I I could literally

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cry at the input you guys have been like

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dming me on Instagram I've I've been

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reading most of the messages you guys

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have been sending me I've I just I was

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going to respond today actually to most

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of the messages but I didn't sleep last

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night I couldn't sleep last night and

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I've just been brain fried all day but

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I'm going to try to get back to you guys

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tomorrow I really appreciate the input

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like literally I will be kicking my feet

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giggling like reading these messages you

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guys send me and I'm going to um I'm

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going to put an effort into trying to

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respond to the majority of them by

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tomorrow but um yeah guys thank you so

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much and if you do have have input on

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this topic I've been talking about

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during this video about um other people

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respecting you and such I would love if

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you guys give your input love if you

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guys um told me about your personal

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experience going through this getting

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over it and realizations or epiphanies

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you've had under the same topic

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because wait real quick real quick

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actually I had um I want to add one

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experience I had so one day I was

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um I I like to walk I like to walk

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pretty often I used to walk to work

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every single day and there was this one

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road um where there wasn't like a

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crosswalk sign and if you were to cross

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it you just have to like wait till a car

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uh wasn't there or anything and

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um so one day I was going to crossed and

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a car had pulled up and typically in a

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scenario like this I would get anxious

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and i' kind of like run the rest of the

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way and i' like I'd feel guilty and I

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would like be like oh I got to get

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across this quick I'm burdening this

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person I'm being a burden to person but

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um as I was crossing it a random thought

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had hit my mind um this thought had been

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that this person is exactly equal to me

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this person deserves to cross this just

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as much as I do and suddenly I wasn't

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anxious anymore I had

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um I continue walking across the street

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at my same Pace you know listening to my

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music having a nice time as I had

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realized that this person

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was just as equal to me like that to I

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then I've tongue twisted myself this

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person was just as equal to

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me than I was to them if that's the

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right wording but

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um yeah

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and again I had just continued crossing

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the street at my slow like enjoyable

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pace and it was just such a realization

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for me that had really implemented the

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idea that I

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equal to other people and that I deserve

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respect from other people and I deserve

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to be treated equally and I shouldn't

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feel guilty for existing I shouldn't

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feel guilty

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for existing around other people and

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being a quote unquote burden which

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everybody is a burden to somebody to

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people in some sort of way everybody is

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going to be one of the end of the day

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that's your responsibility as a human

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being is to exist to take up air take up

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space

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and I think it's a lovely thing I think

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it's a lovely thing and I think people

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are lovely thing and I think a lot of

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things are lovely things but

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um yeah I

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had I I will get to messages tomorrow

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I'll get to responding tomorrow I'm I'm

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really sleep deprived today so I know I

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I don't I know this video might not be

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as coherent as I typically am in videos

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and I might remake it soon and I might

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remake this as a series because this is

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definitely lengthy and important topic

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to go over and to discuss because it's

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something that really has a grip on you

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it's something

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that it's it's very it's it's a very

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important thing in your life if you were

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raised in such a way where you are you

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don't respect yourself or you don't um

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feel equal to others and way or one way

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or another and yeah it's just a very

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heavy topic and I'm probably going to

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make a serious on it but anyway guys

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peace and love I'm going to the freak to

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sleep I'm so freaking tired I'm so sleep

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deprived I'm so bring okay I'm going to

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stop complaining peace guys

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الوسوم ذات الصلة
Self-RespectEmotional HealingChildhood TraumaAdulthood ChallengesSocial InteractionPersonal GrowthEqualityHuman DecencySelf-EsteemMental Health
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