You Don't Find Happiness, You Create It | Katarina Blom | TEDxGöteborg

Summary

In this talk, a psychologist shares insights on creating happiness and well-being through positive actions rather than just positive thinking. The speaker emphasizes that happiness is a skill that can be cultivated, highlighting the brain's negativity bias and the importance of forming healthy habits. By focusing on meaningful relationships and taking small, positive actions, individuals can improve their overall well-being. The talk concludes with a reminder that behavior influences others, encouraging the audience to lead by example in fostering happiness and connection.

Takeaways

• 👋 We often follow actions rather than instructions, highlighting the importance of positive behavior in creating well-being.
• 🧠 Our brains are not always on our side when it comes to happiness due to automatic negative thoughts and a tendency to worry.
• 🔄 Mind-wandering is common, occurring almost half of the time we're awake, which challenges the idea of controlling happiness through positive thinking alone.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Happiness is a skill that requires positive action, not just positive thinking.
• 📊 We have a negativity bias, meaning we prioritize negative feedback over positive, which impacts our overall well-being.
• 🧩 Cognitive biases help us navigate the world but can distort our perception, often highlighting negative aspects over positive ones.
• 🏡 Building well-being involves actions like maintaining healthy relationships, which significantly contribute to our happiness.
• 📱 Simple acts of appreciation, like sending a kind text, can develop into powerful habits that enhance our well-being.
• 👫 Quality relationships are crucial for happiness, as demonstrated by long-term studies showing their impact on flourishing.
• 💪 Cultivating psychological habits, especially around relationships, requires the same dedication as physical health habits.

Q & A

What exercise did the speaker initiate at the beginning of the talk to illustrate a point about human behavior?

The speaker initiated an exercise where they asked everyone to place their hands out and clap them on the count of three. This was done to demonstrate that people often do as others do, rather than always following instructions or doing as they are told.

What was the speaker's profession and what is their area of expertise?

The speaker is a psychologist who trains organizations, teams, and individuals in creating happiness and well-being.

What was the main contradiction the speaker faced after co-authoring a book on the science of happiness?

The main contradiction was that the speaker was in the middle of a life crisis, having broken up with their partner, being homeless and jobless, despite having co-authored a book on happiness.

According to the speaker, why is it difficult to maintain happiness and well-being?

The speaker suggests that it's difficult to maintain happiness because the human brain is not always on our side when it comes to creating happiness, and it requires more than just positive thinking; it requires positive action.

What percentage of time do our minds wander according to the study mentioned by the speaker?

According to the study by Daniel Gilbert and Matthew Killingsworth, our minds wander approximately 46.9% of the time we spend awake.

What is the speaker's view on the effectiveness of controlling thoughts versus controlling actions to create happiness?

The speaker believes that controlling thoughts is very difficult, if not impossible, and that well-being is better built by positive actions rather than just positive thinking.

What cognitive biases does the speaker mention that affect how we perceive life and situations?

The speaker mentions cognitive biases that help us categorize and prioritize information, which can affect how we perceive life and different situations.

What is the 'negativity bias' and how does it affect our perception of life?

The negativity bias is a tendency for the brain to focus on unpleasant or potentially threatening information. It evolved to help us survive in dangerous environments, but it affects how we perceive our life, relationships, workplace, and performance today.

What does the speaker suggest as an example of a psychological exercise to cultivate happiness?

The speaker suggests sending a text of appreciation or gratitude to someone you care about as an example of a psychological exercise to cultivate happiness.

What is the 'psychological gym' that the speaker and a friend started, and what is its purpose?

The 'psychological gym' is a place where organizations, teams, and individuals can train psychological skills to create more happiness and well-being. The purpose is to make psychological training as common as physical training.

What does the speaker emphasize as one of the most powerful actions for happiness, based on the Harvard University study?

The speaker emphasizes investing time and heart into relationships as one of the most powerful actions for happiness, as the Harvard University study found that the quality of relationships is more important than wealth, fame, or hard work for personal flourishing.