Why do you treat them better than you treat yourself?

Summary

This video explores the struggle of prioritizing others' needs over our own and the journey to self-empowerment. The speaker reflects on their past people-pleasing tendencies and the lack of self-worth that fueled them. Through personal action and proving their value, they found the key to building confidence and letting go of the need for approval. The message encourages living authentically, prioritizing your goals, and proving your worth through consistent effort. Ultimately, the speaker advocates for self-respect and the importance of living life according to your own standards, without seeking validation from others.

Takeaways

• 😀 Prioritize yourself: The speaker reflects on how they often prioritize others' needs over their own, leading to a lack of self-value.
• 😀 Fear of rejection: A common struggle is the desire to be liked by others, which often leads to sacrificing personal needs and desires.
• 😀 Value is proven by action: True self-worth isn't about convincing yourself you're worthy—it's about proving it through action and results.
• 😀 Need vs. want: There's a key difference between wanting others' approval and needing it. The latter can lead to unhealthy sacrifices.
• 😀 Embrace your uniqueness: Accepting and expressing your unique traits, even if they alienate some, is part of finding self-worth.
• 😀 Growth through discomfort: The speaker acknowledges that growth often requires stepping into discomfort, especially when others may not like you for who you are.
• 😀 Action leads to confidence: Confidence and self-worth are built by taking action towards your goals, not by passive thinking or wishing.
• 😀 Let go of others' opinions: Once you start living your truth and seeing results, it becomes easier to ignore the judgment of others.
• 😀 Proof builds self-respect: The key to overcoming self-doubt and lack of confidence is having tangible proof that you're on the right path.
• 😀 Your life is yours: The speaker stresses that living according to someone else's standards is a form of disrespect to oneself—your life should be lived the way you choose.
• 😀 Success breeds self-assurance: Achieving success, whether it's financial or personal, reinforces the idea that your choices are valid and your path is worth following.

Q & A

Why does the speaker prioritize others' needs over their own?

The speaker prioritizes others' needs due to a lack of self-worth and a deep desire for others' approval. This desire stems from their younger years when they were focused on getting people to like them and fitting in with others, often at the expense of their own needs and desires.

What is the root cause of the speaker's tendency to say 'yes' to others?

The root cause is the speaker's deep-seated need for approval and validation from others, which leads them to overextend themselves to meet others' expectations, often at the cost of their own priorities.

How does the speaker define the difference between a 'want' and a 'need' in terms of approval?

The speaker explains that a 'want' for approval means desiring it but not being overly impacted if it’s not received, while a 'need' for approval means being willing to sacrifice significant aspects of one's self or priorities to gain that approval.

What personal challenge does the speaker face when it comes to self-worth?

The speaker struggles with believing in their own value and often sacrifices their time and efforts to gain approval from others, which makes it difficult to prioritize their own needs and goals.

What strategy does the speaker use to overcome their need for others' approval?

The speaker focuses on action and proof. By proving to themselves that their goals and values are worth pursuing through tangible results (e.g., success in their work), they gradually reduce the importance of others' opinions and gain confidence in their own worth.

How does the speaker deal with criticism and rejection from others?

The speaker becomes less affected by criticism and rejection by focusing on their own goals and the evidence of their success. They assert that once you have proof of your own path working, others' opinions lose their significance.

What role does intensity play in the speaker's journey of self-acceptance?

Intensity is a key part of the speaker's identity. Embracing their intensity—whether it's through obsession with their work or celebrating successes—helps them feel authentic and confident in their own skin, even if it turns some people away.

Why does the speaker believe that people will only feel okay with being disliked once they embrace who they truly are?

The speaker believes that by fully embracing who you are and living authentically, you eventually build enough confidence and proof that being disliked for who you truly are no longer matters. It’s through the experience of standing strong in one's own identity that the fear of rejection fades.

How does the speaker suggest someone can develop self-worth?

The speaker suggests developing self-worth by taking action and proving to yourself that you're living authentically. It’s not about thinking or believing you are worthy, but about doing what aligns with your true self and seeing the results of those efforts.

What is the speaker's ultimate message about living life according to others' expectations?

The speaker's ultimate message is that it is a disservice to yourself to live according to others' expectations. Instead, they advocate for living authentically, prioritizing your own goals, and being unapologetic about who you are, regardless of others' opinions.