Desmistificando o feedback | Thaís Duarte | TEDxCampoGrande

Summary

The script explores the complex dynamics of receiving and giving feedback, emphasizing how triggers related to identity and perception can impact communication. It highlights the personal experience of the speaker in the public relations field, where the process of receiving feedback often causes discomfort. The speaker reflects on how feedback can be a powerful tool for growth when approached consciously, with an open mindset, and a genuine willingness to listen. The narrative emphasizes the importance of understanding both self-perception and others' perspectives to improve communication and foster personal and professional development.

Takeaways

• 😀 Seeing yourself through others' eyes can be powerful but also uncomfortable, similar to a mind-reading scenario.
• 😀 Early career feedback can feel challenging, especially when unprepared for constructive criticism.
• 😀 Personal and professional growth often comes from accepting difficult feedback rather than avoiding it.
• 😀 Relationship triggers occur when feedback is influenced by your perception of the person giving it.
• 😀 Identity triggers arise when feedback challenges your self-image or beliefs, often causing defensive reactions.
• 😀 There is always a gap between self-perception and how others see us, which feedback helps to bridge.
• 😀 Listening actively and with empathy is essential to effectively receiving feedback.
• 😀 Providing feedback requires considering how the other person would prefer to hear it, emphasizing empathy and understanding.
• 😀 Cultural attitudes toward feedback may be slow to change, but conscious effort can improve communication over time.
• 😀 Practical growth and better communication result from recognizing triggers, reflecting on feedback, and responding thoughtfully rather than defensively.
• 😀 Feedback is a tool for self-awareness and development, not just evaluation or criticism.

Q & A

Why can having the ability to read minds become traumatic over time?

Although initially exciting, the ability to read minds can become overwhelming because it exposes you to the constant, unfiltered thoughts of others, including those that may be negative or conflicting. This can lead to emotional distress, as it’s difficult to process all the information and understand how others truly perceive you.

How did the speaker feel when receiving feedback early in their career?

The speaker initially didn't take feedback well. They viewed it more as a communication process rather than a tool for personal or professional growth. They were focused on the delivery of the message itself, not on the underlying purpose of improving their performance.

What does the concept of feedback mean in a professional setting, according to the speaker?

In the professional setting, feedback is not just a process of sending and receiving information. It involves understanding different perspectives, reflecting on how one is perceived by others, and making necessary changes to improve performance and communication.

What is the cultural challenge regarding feedback in the speaker’s experience?

The speaker observed that, despite working in various regions of Brazil, the culture of receiving feedback hasn't evolved much. People often fear feedback, as it can be painful, and some even prefer to avoid knowing what others think about them.

What is the first step in effectively receiving feedback?

The first step is understanding the moment you receive feedback. This involves recognizing the personal triggers that may be activated when you hear feedback, and being open to receiving it without immediately rejecting or defending yourself.

What happens when a person receives feedback from someone they don’t respect?

When the feedback comes from someone they don’t respect or have resistance towards, the feedback is often dismissed. This is dangerous because it leads to missed opportunities for growth and improvement.

How does the speaker suggest handling identity triggers when receiving feedback?

The speaker advises preparing oneself mentally to receive feedback without being defensive. It’s important to recognize when your identity triggers are activated and avoid immediately rejecting the feedback, as it may contain valuable insights that could help you grow.

What role does empathy play in giving feedback?

Empathy is crucial when giving feedback. It’s important to speak with a genuine interest in understanding the other person’s perspective. This means being sensitive to how your feedback might affect them and delivering it in a way that is constructive and respectful.

How can feedback be a tool for growth, according to the speaker?

Feedback can be a powerful tool for growth if approached with the right mindset. The speaker shared their own experience of receiving critical feedback during their doctoral studies, which motivated them to improve and write a more innovative thesis. The key is to view feedback as a chance to learn and enhance one’s skills.

What example does the speaker use to illustrate how feedback can fail in personal relationships?

The speaker uses the example of a husband giving his wife flowers every year, despite her expressing dissatisfaction with the gift. Eventually, the wife’s frustration leads her to accuse him of not listening to her, triggering a defensive reaction from the husband. This illustrates how feedback can fail if both parties are not truly listening to each other.