What I Learned Approaching 10,000 Women

Summary

This video teaches men how to overcome approach anxiety, build confidence, and take control of their dating lives. The speaker emphasizes the importance of authenticity, with nervousness being a sign of realness that women can respect. Through progressive action, men can gradually overcome fear and improve their social skills. The key is taking consistent action—approaching women in person rather than relying on online interactions. Cold approach allows men to build true options and choose their partners, providing real freedom and empowerment in dating.

Takeaways

• 😀 Nervousness is a superpower: It shows authenticity and courage, which women respect more than a fake persona.
• 😀 Cold approach builds skill over time: Each approach strengthens your confidence and diminishes fear, just like progressive overload in the gym.
• 😀 Action beats hesitation: Every time you hesitate or make excuses, you're reinforcing self-doubt. Taking action is key to overcoming fear.
• 😀 Authenticity matters more than looks: You don't need to be the richest or most attractive; genuine interaction is what creates real connections.
• 😀 Cold approach gives you power: It helps you stop hoping to be chosen and start choosing who you want to pursue.
• 😀 Taking risks leads to real abundance: Mastering cold approach allows you to meet people anytime, providing true dating freedom.
• 😀 Real-life interactions matter more than online ones: Meeting in person creates stronger emotional momentum, making texting and setting up dates easier.
• 😀 Every approach is a learning opportunity: The more you approach, the more you build skill, even through awkward moments or rejection.
• 😀 Confidence in dating is built through repeated action: Like in business or the gym, success comes through messy action and repeated effort.
• 😀 Stop settling: Cold approach helps you avoid settling for someone because you're afraid of being alone or not having better options.

Q & A

What is the most important quality a man should focus on when approaching women?

The most important quality is authenticity. A man doesn't need to be the richest, hottest, or most jacked, but he should make the woman feel something real by being genuine and authentic.

Why is nervousness considered a superpower in approaching women?

Nervousness signals to a woman that you're real and vulnerable, which she can respect more than a smooth, rehearsed approach. It shows courage and authenticity, and women tend to value that highly.

How does approach anxiety relate to building confidence?

Approach anxiety can be overcome through practice, much like progressive overload in the gym. Each approach helps to build tolerance and reduces anxiety over time, making you stronger and more confident.

What is the effect of making excuses or hesitating before approaching a woman?

Every time you make an excuse or hesitate, you're reinforcing fear and self-doubt. This keeps you stuck in anxiety and prevents you from developing the courage and skills needed to take action.

What does 'training or quitting' mean in the context of cold approaches?

It means that every time you take action, you are training yourself to get better at approaching women, but every time you avoid taking action, you are reinforcing weakness and fear. There is no neutral—either you're improving or you're not.

Why is it important to take 'messy action' in dating and relationships?

Messy action is essential because you can't build skills by planning endlessly. You need to take risks, make mistakes, and learn through doing. This process helps you improve over time and move past your comfort zone.

How does taking control of your approach change the way you view relationships?

By taking control of your approach, you stop settling for someone who picks you. Instead, you become the one who chooses who you want to date, which leads to greater freedom, self-confidence, and genuine connection.

What does 'real freedom' in dating mean according to the script?

Real freedom in dating means having the ability to meet and approach new people whenever you want, which gives you leverage in your relationships. This creates a sense of abundance, where you no longer feel like you have to settle.

Why is meeting a woman in person more effective than connecting through a dating app?

Meeting in person is powerful because it builds trust and attraction immediately. It also removes the uncertainty and skepticism that can come with online interactions, making follow-up easier and more natural.

What mindset shift occurs when a man starts approaching women regularly?

The mindset shift is from 'I hope she likes me' to 'Do I even like her?' This change allows a man to become more selective and to make choices about who he wants to pursue, rather than feeling desperate or passive.