All men are incels: the bitter truth

Summary

In this thought-provoking talk, Dr. Orion Taban explores the concept of 'incels' and argues that all men, at some point, experience involuntary celibacy due to rejection. He challenges the common use of the term 'incel' as an insult, suggesting that rejecting a man's sexual interest shows respect for a woman's right to consent, which is the foundation of civil society. Taban critiques societal views that mock men for respecting this right, drawing parallels to broader themes of entitlement and societal expectations in relationships.

Takeaways

• 😀 The term 'incel' stands for 'involuntarily celibate,' referring to men who are unable to find a willing sexual partner.
• 😀 The term 'incel' has become a derogatory term, especially used by women, and is often linked with negative labels like 'misogynist.'
• 😀 All men, regardless of their attractiveness, have experienced sexual rejection at some point, which makes every man an 'incel' in certain contexts.
• 😀 Even the most attractive and successful men face sexual rejection, meaning that no man is ever universally desired by women.
• 😀 The key distinction between men isn't whether they've been rejected, but whether they choose to respect others' boundaries or not.
• 😀 Acknowledging a woman's right to consent and choosing to remain celibate rather than force sex is a sign of respecting social laws and civil society.
• 😀 Men who respect consent and stay celibate, rather than imposing their desires on others, should not be mocked or denigrated for doing the right thing.
• 😀 Insulting men for respecting the law and women's rights is counterproductive and can make them appear villainous for doing the right thing.
• 😀 Women are not 'naturally' the gatekeepers of sex; this role exists due to societal conventions and laws protecting individuals' rights to consent.
• 😀 While societal conventions place women as gatekeepers of sex, both men and women benefit when all parties respect each other's boundaries, and the law is upheld.

Q & A

What does the term 'incel' stand for?

The term 'incel' stands for 'involuntarily celibate,' referring to men who want to have sex but cannot find willing sexual partners.

How is the term 'incel' used today, and why is it controversial?

The term 'incel' is often used as an insult, particularly towards men who are perceived as unattractive or misogynistic. Its use as a derogatory label has become controversial, especially when it is applied broadly to men who express disagreement with women.

Why does Dr. Taban argue that all men are 'incels' at some point in their lives?

Dr. Taban argues that all men, regardless of their attractiveness or social status, experience sexual rejection at some point. In those moments of rejection, they are technically 'involuntarily celibate.'

What is the main distinction between men who are 'incels' and those who aren't?

The main distinction, according to Dr. Taban, is not about sexual rejection but about whether a man respects the consent of others and follows the law. Men who respect boundaries and accept rejection are seen as upholding civil society.

What does Dr. Taban suggest about men who choose not to violate others' consent?

Dr. Taban suggests that men who choose not to violate consent, even when frustrated by rejection, should be praised for their restraint, as they are respecting both the law and the autonomy of others.

How does Dr. Taban view the societal tendency to mock men who are celibate by choice?

Dr. Taban criticizes society for mocking men who choose to respect consent and not force their will upon women. He argues that this behavior is counterproductive and a form of punishing people for doing the right thing.

What does Dr. Taban mean by the term 'civil fuckation'?

Dr. Taban uses the term 'civil fuckation' to describe the idea that when a man is frustrated in his sexual desire but chooses not to impose his will on others, he is upholding civil society and the social contract, respecting women's right to choose.

Why does Dr. Taban compare men who mock 'incels' to a businessman insulting poor people?

Dr. Taban uses the analogy of a businessman insulting poor people to illustrate the absurdity of mocking men who respect boundaries. Just as it would be inappropriate for a businessman to mock those who cannot afford his products, it is equally foolish to mock men who do the right thing by respecting consent.

What does Dr. Taban say about the relationship between power and consent?

Dr. Taban emphasizes that women are often seen as the 'gatekeepers of sex' by convention, not nature. While men generally have more physical strength, the concept of consent is a social construct, supported by laws to prevent non-consensual acts.

What is the overall message Dr. Taban is trying to convey in this video?

Dr. Taban's main message is that men who respect women's autonomy and the laws surrounding consent should not be mocked. Instead, they should be understood as upholding the social contract, which benefits society as a whole.