Men Are HARDWIRED TO RESPECT Your Worth When They See THESE 5 Things

Summary

In this insightful dating advice video, the speaker addresses the dilemma of uncommitted relationships, emphasizing the importance of the 'two to three month rule' as a decisive period for commitment. They advocate for direct communication, confronting mixed signals, and not tolerating hot and cold behavior. The speaker stresses the value of self-esteem, the ability to walk away, and the necessity of respect in relationships, offering strategies to improve dating life and build confidence.

Takeaways

• 😌 The 'two or three month rule' is a guideline for when to decide to leave a relationship that hasn't progressed, suggesting that if there's no commitment after this period, it's unlikely to happen.
• 🚫 Avoiding confrontation can lead to a perception of weakness and may invite disrespect or further testing of boundaries.
• 🤔 The speaker emphasizes the importance of being direct with someone after a few months of dating to clarify intentions and desires for the relationship.
• 💡 Non-verbal cues can communicate a person's willingness to walk away or their desperation, impacting how they are perceived by others.
• 🛡️ Having the willingness to confront and stand up for oneself is a sign of strength that can command respect from others.
• 🔥 The speaker suggests that conflict and confrontation can actually lead to stronger bonds between people, as opposed to avoiding these interactions.
• 👥 The 'hot and cold' behavior of the person being discussed is a sign of uncertainty or a lack of commitment, which should be addressed directly.
• 💭 The speaker mentions that people may test others to gauge their strength or to see if they are truly confident and capable of standing their ground.
• 💔 The fear of losing someone can prevent individuals from being honest and direct, which can create an imbalanced power dynamic in a relationship.
• 🧠 The importance of self-esteem and self-worth is highlighted, noting that people who cannot self-soothe may be taken advantage of or not respected by others.
• 🏫 The speaker promotes their courses as a means to improve dating life and emotional mastery, suggesting that these tools can provide strategies for better relationships.

Q & A

What is the 'three-month rule' mentioned in the script?

The 'three-month rule' is a guideline suggesting that if a person doesn't want to commit to a relationship within the first two to three months of dating, it's unlikely they will do so later. It's used as a benchmark for when to move on from a non-committal relationship.

What does the script suggest about the 'three or four date rule' for men?

The 'three or four date rule' for men implies that if a woman doesn't become intimate after three or four dates, it's likely she won't unless there's an exception, such as religious beliefs. It's a perceived indicator of a woman's interest in progressing the relationship.

Why is it important to confront the person you're seeing if they exhibit hot and cold behavior?

Confronting the person helps to clarify their intentions and feelings, preventing a frustrating limbo. It also shows confidence and a willingness to walk away, which can command respect and potentially lead to a more balanced and honest relationship.

What is the significance of being direct in a relationship?

Being direct is important because it communicates your needs and expectations clearly. It prevents misunderstandings and shows that you value your own needs and are not afraid to express them, which can lead to a healthier and more respectful dynamic.

How does the willingness to walk away affect non-verbal cues and reactions in a relationship?

The willingness to walk away can make a person's non-verbal cues more confident and less needy. This can affect how they react to their partner's behavior, potentially making them seem more attractive and less desperate.

What is the impact of not being able to self-soothe on a person's relationships?

Not being able to self-soothe can lead to an over-reliance on others for emotional support, which can create an imbalance in relationships. It may result in a person being taken advantage of or not receiving the respect they deserve.

Why is it suggested to not accept hot and cold behavior in the script?

Accepting hot and cold behavior can signal weakness and a lack of boundaries, which may lead to being disrespected or manipulated. Calling out such behavior is a way to assert oneself and maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.

What does the script suggest about the relationship between confrontation and respect?

The script suggests that confrontation can lead to respect. When a person is willing to confront issues and express their needs, it shows strength and self-assuredness, which can earn them respect from their partner.

What is the 'mindful attraction University' mentioned in the script?

The 'mindful attraction University' is a collection of courses offered by the speaker, Professor Alex, designed to improve one's dating life and emotional mastery. It includes various modules that can be purchased at a discounted rate.

What is the speaker's stance on refunds for the 'mindful attraction University' courses?

The speaker states that there are no refunds for purchasing the entire bundle of 'mindful attraction University' courses. However, if a customer purchases one course and likes it, they can upgrade to the bundle by paying the difference.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of self-respect and self-esteem in relationships?

The speaker emphasizes self-respect and self-esteem as foundational to healthy relationships. When a person values themselves and is not overly reliant on others for validation, they are less likely to be disrespected and can maintain a balanced and respectful relationship.

Outlines

00:00

💭 The Commitment Conundrum

The speaker discusses the dilemma of a relationship that has been ongoing for a few months without commitment. They mention the 'three-month rule' and the 'three or four day rule for men,' suggesting that if a person doesn't commit within this time, it's unlikely to happen. The speaker emphasizes the importance of non-verbal cues in signaling willingness to walk away and the potential negative impacts of prolonged uncertainty on one's behavior and self-esteem. They advise being direct and confronting the issue, as it can lead to respect and a more balanced relationship dynamic.

05:01

🗣️ Directness and Confrontation in Relationships

In this paragraph, the speaker advocates for direct communication in relationships, especially when there is a pattern of hot and cold behavior. They argue that being direct is a sign of confidence and can prevent an imbalanced power dynamic. The speaker also warns against accepting inconsistent behavior and suggests that calling out such behavior can prevent being taken advantage of. They highlight the importance of respect, which is earned through the willingness to confront and stand up for oneself.

10:02

🤯 The Impact of Emotional Dependency on Respect

The speaker delves into the concept of self-soothing and how the lack of it can lead to emotional dependency, which in turn can affect how one is perceived and respected in relationships. They discuss the importance of learning to manage emotions independently, as failing to do so can result in being taken advantage of or not being respected. The speaker also touches on the idea that people may test others to gauge their strength and that showing signs of weakness can lead to further disrespect.

15:06

🎓 Mindful Attraction University: Enhancing Dating Life

In the final paragraph, the speaker transitions to promoting their educational platform, the Mindful Attraction University, which offers courses aimed at improving one's dating life. They provide a special offer for purchasing all basic courses at a discounted rate and mention the possibility of upgrading to a premium version with additional content. The speaker expresses confidence in the effectiveness of their courses and encourages potential students to take advantage of the offer to transform their dating experiences.

Keywords

💡Commitment

Commitment in the context of the video refers to one's willingness to engage in a serious and lasting relationship. It is a central theme as the person seeking advice is struggling with their partner's hesitance to commit. The video discusses the importance of recognizing when someone is not ready to commit and the potential reasons behind it, such as the 'three-month rule' for women and the 'three or four date rule' for men.

💡Chemistry

Chemistry is a term used to describe the mutual attraction and connection between two people. In the video, the speaker mentions that there is 'definitely chemistry' between the person seeking advice and the one they are seeing, indicating a strong initial attraction that often precedes a deeper relationship.

💡Three-month rule

The 'three-month rule' is a concept mentioned in the video that suggests if a relationship has not progressed to a committed state within three months, it may not happen at all. It is used as a guideline to determine whether to continue pursuing a relationship or to move on.

💡Three or four date rule

This rule, as discussed in the video, is similar to the 'three-month rule' but applies to men and is based on the premise that if a woman does not become intimate after three or four dates, she likely will not. It is presented as a heuristic for gauging interest and potential for a relationship.

💡Non-verbal cues

Non-verbal cues are the unspoken signals we send through body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. The video emphasizes the importance of these cues in conveying confidence and willingness to walk away from a situation, which can influence how others perceive and react to us in relationships.

💡Confrontation

Confrontation is the act of addressing an issue or problem directly. The video script encourages the person to be direct with their partner about their feelings and the status of their relationship, arguing that this can lead to respect and clarity, rather than avoiding difficult conversations.

💡Respect

Respect in the video is portrayed as something that is earned through one's actions and attitudes, particularly the willingness to stand up for oneself and to engage in open and honest communication. It is suggested that respect is a crucial component of any healthy relationship.

💡Hot and cold behavior

Hot and cold behavior refers to the inconsistent actions or emotions from one person towards another, creating a sense of uncertainty and confusion. In the script, this behavior is identified as a sign of potential relationship issues and is advised to be addressed directly.

💡Self-esteem

Self-esteem is one's own sense of value and self-worth. The video touches on the idea that individuals who lack self-esteem may seek validation from others, which can lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics. It suggests that learning to self-sooth and maintain self-worth independently is important.

💡Confrontational strength

Confrontational strength is the ability and willingness to engage in confrontation when necessary. The video suggests that showing this strength can lead to greater respect from others and is a sign of character that is attractive in relationships.

💡Mindful Attraction University

Mindful Attraction University is a term used in the video to refer to the speaker's educational platform or program, which aims to teach strategies for improving one's dating life. It is used as a marketing tool to promote the speaker's courses and services.

Highlights

The 'three-month rule' for women and the 'three or four date rule' for men are discussed as indicators for commitment readiness.

Men are suggested to leave if a woman doesn't 'give up the pom pom' after three or four dates, indicating a lack of interest.

The importance of the 'two or three month rule' is emphasized to avoid desperate and creepy vibes in a relationship.

Non-verbal cues can reveal a person's willingness to walk away, affecting their confidence in a relationship.

Being direct with someone after a few months of dating is encouraged to establish clear intentions and expectations.

Fear of confrontation can lead to an imbalanced power dynamic and a lack of respect.

Confrontation is a way to bond and build stronger relationships, contrary to the fear that it may ruin them.

Calling out hot and cold behavior is advised to avoid being manipulated or taken advantage of.

People may test your strength to see if you are truly confident or if you show signs of weakness.

The willingness to fight back and stand up for oneself is a sign of strength that earns respect.

Self-esteem issues can lead to a lack of respect from others if one relies too heavily on others for validation.

The importance of self-soothing and the ability to handle emotions independently is discussed.

People who cannot self-soothe may be seen as weak and may be disrespected or taken advantage of.

The concept of respect as an earned quality, not a given, is introduced.

The speaker offers a discounted rate for a bundle of courses to improve dating life and emotional mastery.

A payment plan is available for the premium version of the courses, making them more accessible.

The speaker assures the effectiveness of the courses in transforming one's dating life.

Transcripts

hey coach I need your help with

something that's been on my mind I've

been seeing this person for a few months

now and while there's definitely

Chemistry Between Us they seem hesitant

to commit first of all there's a

three-month Rule and a three or 4 day

rule for men right three month rule for

women and three or four dat rule for men

right um for example for men if after

three or four months the girl doesn't

give up the pom pom

right most likely she's not going to

give it up right unless she's religious

that's the only exception now in general

if you want if you if you want a

relationship with someone generally if

after two or three months if they don't

want a relationship leave it's it's it's

never it's never going to work out in

fact I've never

seen I I mean I've seen but it's just

rare to go from um um for someone to

build a relationship after um after

after them not wanting it with did the

first two or three months because first

of all you're you the feelings you feel

for them is at its peak after two or in

within the first two or 3 months so

that's when they're going to make the

irrational decision to be in a

relationship with you okay okay I was so

mean oh my [ __ ] god it doesn't help

he doesn't have power he hurts right so

yeah that's the first thing um 203 month

rule if you do that it'll give you're

you're going to have an air of

willingness to walk away but actually

let me finish the story so that I can

tell you the rest um they seem hesitant

to commit we have an amazing time

together dinners long walks deep

conversations

that makes me feel like we're on the

same page but then just when I think

that we're getting closer they pull back

and things stay in this frustrating

limbo last weekend we spent the entire

day exploring the city laughing and

sharing stories at one point they looked

at me with such intensity that I felt

that something significant was going to

happen instead they changed the subject

and suggested we grab some coffee this

hot and cold behavor is making me

question what am I might be doing wrong

and if there's something missing that we

would make that would make me seem that

will make my worth and prioritize our

relationship what can I do to show them

that if someone is what can I do to show

someone that I'm worth committing to how

can I get them to respect and value me

enough to move forward without feeling

like I'm pressuring them first of okay

let's talk about this boo boo okay let's

talk about this first of all um the two

or three month rule

the two three month rule is the most

important rule why because it gives you

an end when you don't know when to leave

when you don't when you don't have a a

date a time when to finish this attempt

of a relationship it tends to give you

creepy um um um and um um desperate

Vibes when you're not you're you're

going to be sending out signs that

you're not willing to walk away and it

might you may not be holding a sign that

says you're not willing to walk away but

your non-verbal cues is going to give

them the Sensation that you're not

willing to walk away

like it's it's just the the things that

you don't notice about your non-verbal

cues are are are are going to be the

things that are going to tell people how

you actually feel inside so knowing to

leave knowing this prepares you prepares

your reactions so that you won't react

with neediness that means that if they

if they take a if they take a while to

respond to you you're not going to react

with fear and and and and and Terror

because in your mind you say if this

does doesn't go after if this doesn't

turn into a relationship after 2 or 3

months I'm leaving this so it it kind of

changes the way that you react to them

in such a way that your reaction is

going to give it's going to come across

as more confident because you are

willing to walk away you got to

understand the low simmering moods the

low moods that you that that stay on the

unconscious which is oh my God I hope I

hope I never leave this person those

types of mood not the mood of a mad

that's like surface level those low

moods like when you're hanging out with

but you know you're you're highly in

debt right so you're kind of smiling but

the mood of being in debt or the mood

that maybe you you're about to get your

ass beat when you get home because

you're late and you know your mom is

going to get you is going to you know

whoop your ass right that mood infects

your non-verbal cues more than your

current mood so be having that fear

inside and suppressing it because

everything seems good it's going to it's

going to automatically change your how

you react to people it's going to come

across as more um um um docile and less

confident and it's going to make people

more

aggressive so the and the next thing is

that you want to be directed with this

person if if it's been a few months of

being with them you have the you have

the permission to be direct you you if

because if why are you not being direct

what are you scared of you see what I'm

saying this fear of losing this person

causes you to not confront them and you

don't understand confrontation is what

makes people like you having conflict is

what makes people bond to you more

you're missing and and that's why I mean

the willingness to walk away will cause

you to be willing to confront them and

be honest with them about what you guys

want and and what type of relationship

you guys want with her that will H that

will come from that type of

mentality but when you really want to

make this work confrontation is

something that you fear because it could

actually ruin this they could actually

leave because you're confronting them so

be direct it's okay to have a

conversation after a month like it it's

totally fine the fact that you don't

want to be direct about the elephant in

the room makes the person realize that

you have weaknesses that you're hiding

through the facade of confidence and it

makes them more aggressive it makes them

test your weaknesses and it creates a

power an an imbalanced power

Dynamic so be direct man tell them don't

be in your head just say look man like

[ __ ] qu quintia the cold person right

like look you like you're giving hot and

cold Behavior man what's going on here

what do you want what are you looking

for that's not needy that's not needy

that's actually confident so be direct

and and even though they may not want

you the fact that you're being direct

makes them respect you more makes them

respect your uh um you as a person as

opposed to them knowing you want

something more them knowing you're

holding it down you're not speaking

about it and they actually end up losing

respect for you next thing it's just

never accept hot and cold Behavior like

what the hell like what the hell's going

on here call it out they rely on your

awkwardness on your fear of

Confrontation call that [ __ ] out because

if you don't you're just looking weak

right because sometimes the next thing

is that sometimes people are waiting to

sense your

strength right so sometimes people act

out and that's the fourth one sometimes

people act out to test your strength

sometimes people act out to see how

strong you really are and the fact that

you're not willing to call them out

tells them validates to them that maybe

they should be a little bit more

aggressive and and and take from you a

little bit more and give and give and

return

less so you got you got to do this you

have to confront you have to talk you

have to tell people what the [ __ ] you

want cuz it's been a few months if you

would have done the three-month rule

this would have never

happened so don't be afraid of

Confrontation you're when you're not

afraid of conf frontation you'll notice

that people will have more respect for

you you may not even need to confront

it's just the willingness to confront CH

give it changes the little things about

you that creates a sense of intimidation

that people just cannot point to they

like I don't know why this person just

looks like you don't want to [ __ ] with

them right and the last thing is that

respects respect comes when you're

willing to fight back respect comes when

you have the willingness to use your

sword and shield it's not that you have

to use it but you have a willingness to

use it that willingness is a reflection

of something deep in your character

something deep about your personality

and people can sense that they sense

when you're willing to die for something

they can sense when you when you truly

believe in something not because you say

you believe in it but because of how it

changes the little muscles and the

little reaction

that you are not even aware of you got

to understand the human animal pays and

values more the unconscious signals you

send and the reason why is because you

are you unconsciously pick up signals

and you know that you're picking it up

because you you pick it up because if it

creates a sensation about the person

right and we tend to We tend to go more

towards those people who tell us what to

do or who they are through your non

through their nonverbal little signals a

lot more than people who try to verbally

tell us who they

are and we without knowing it this

unwillingness to confront unwillingness

to speak unwillingness to have

confrontation and conflict is

unconsciously communicating to people

that you don't deserve respect that's

that that that that's just how that is

you know but when you're willing to do

that when you have when you're

consistently on Bronx mode

24/7 then people will sense that you

know what this person has something

behind his willingness to to do this in

other words you're willing to lose me it

means you have options and it means that

that other people also respect you so I

want to be with you like people think

that way if they don't respect you that

means other people don't respect you why

why am I why am I going to want to be

with you and why am I even giving you

respect if you don't if you can't earn

it like respect is not a freaking

charity people it's an economy that is

capitalistic that's self-interested and

it's something that you earn you're not

born with it it's not

church one more thing is that if you're

not happy this is really difficult to do

you know if you're not happy because

these the behavior that leads to

disrespect that leads to people to

looking down on you honestly is the type

of behavior that comes because you can't

self Soo like you you don't know how to

feel good about yourself and when you

were a kid like when kids don't get

don't get comfort from their parents

they start they they never learn how to

self soed when they never got physical

touch from their parents um and when

they grow up they they grow up without

learning how to do that because we first

learned how to self soit through our

parents and then through having that

comfortable environment we're able to

self Soo at a distance maybe she's you

know they're not holding us but maybe

because we know they're there we're able

to feel a little bit better using our

own strengths rather than just being

completely dependent on them and so we

learn how to self soed but some kids

just didn't have that and because of

that they learned to overly rely on

their on their parents not to not to

have any distance from their parents

because they just don't know how to do

it on their own or their their parents

never gave them the opportunity because

they use their kids as as their own

self- suu mechanism as a parent

sometimes you got to put your kid in a

[ __ ] corner and after after petting

them you know oh my [ __ ] god to talk

to like they're animals put them in the

corner and and just let you know be

there but let them know that you're

there but let them deal with their

emotions sometimes you know I'm not a

parent but that's we learn in child

development and so that distance helps

kids and so some people never had that

and so because of that they they never

learned how to deal with their emotions

on their own they only learned how to

deal with their

emotions using other people they they

were never weaned off of it and this

habit becomes a lifelong habit and when

people sense that you can't self so they

take advantage of that consciously or

unconsciously they take advantage of

that maybe I'm projecting people

whatever but they just take advantage of

that because the way you come across you

come across as someone that is always

happy right sometimes as someone who

doesn't fight back as someone who

doesn't get offended easily so he kind

of you can say [ __ ] you like ah you're

so funny but you're like dude I said

[ __ ] you like what the [ __ ] right and so

they they they they're more tolerant to

disrespect

you know because they they rather be

around you than not be around you and

not be disrespected they rather be

around you and be disrespected and so as

good of a person as they are you can't

respect that cuz you're like yo that's

pathetic like I mean I mean come on like

you get what I'm saying and so a lot of

people have developed their personality

around that trait and and deep down

these people feel resentful for not

getting respect by people but they don't

know that it's the it's the

desire you're using people as a vessel

of self-esteem and people resent that

they may not say oh my God I cannot

believe you're using me as a vess of

self-esteem I don't appreciate that says

Tyrone no they're like yo this person

doesn't give me space this person has no

boundaries this person is just like

[ __ ] a Teletubby that would with a

creepy smile like how you people just

cannot respect that you know so that's

the problem and that's the Dilemma

because this is what I'm telling you is

uncomfortable to some people

uncomfortable to some people who have

their lived their life this so remember

no one to leave

because It prepares your non-verbal cues

and your

reaction the two or three month rule if

they don't want a relationship at the

two or three months you leave and and

and and also if if they don't give up

the poom poom after two three or four

dates trust me you're your friend zone

right um be direct don't be don't be

afraid of Confrontation don't be afraid

of conflict conflict is what makes them

like you more never accept cold hot and

cold Behavior if they're acting and code

you you either mirror them if it's a

first if it's a first month but after

the the first month when you when you

have the the comfort and and the

permission to confront them you know cuz

you know sometimes first date you're not

going to call them on on the [ __ ]

right but like if they're acting hot and

cold and it's like a month already it's

best to just tell them what the hell do

you want let's not waste our time that

will cut the [ __ ] honesty is

something that manipulators and direct

direct honesty and direct confrontation

is something that manipulators and

people who are passive aggressive

aggression don't want they rely on you

being afraid of looking needy you get

what I'm saying who gives a [ __ ] anymore

right if they're giving you that

[ __ ] you confront them um sometimes

people are just waiting to sense your

strength so your reaction to their

[ __ ] and then your aggressive

self-righteous reaction to their

[ __ ] and willing to have that

conversation is what they were just

waiting for the whole time that's the

only thing that we're waiting

for and so people test you to see

whether or not you're strong the reason

why they test you is because maybe

you're given signs of weakness and they

want to see whether or not you're really

weak that's why people test you now some

rare occasions people test you because

you're strong and so they really want to

see if you're strong right but usually

the testing comes because you're giving

signs of weakness so it's better to not

give signs of weaknesses and I give and

I have a bunch of videos to to that talk

about how to not do that and that's last

one is that they respect when you're

willing to fight

back right just the willingness to fight

back just having that sense of having

your hand and Sh your hand on your on

your sword and shield in your hand

literally strengthens your nonverbal

cues it gives you a seriousness to your

character it's like being surrounded

with by people without a gun but now

being surrounded and you're the one that

has a gun but they don't know it you're

going to give up that old man anime type

of vibe that old man who's really strong

oh that that that Karate Kid the Chinese

guy that could fight right he's just Zen

that Zen out Vibe you're going to have

it when you have that energy man and

people will respect that sometimes it's

just they there's a lower likelihood

they're going to test you when they

sense these F these six things all right

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the

mindful attraction University taught by

Professor Alex where I teach you all of

the strategies to improve your dating

life and all of the courses that I have

all in one place and you can get it at a

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purchase all of my basic courses without

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$3.99 for psychological purposes yeah

that's right oh my [ __ ] got showing

as a scam yeah that's right yeah follow

Alex does that so that means you could

get emotional Mastery the psychological

game of Attraction the feminine woman

natural chemistry Charisma blueprint and

nice girl at a discounted rate but then

if you want to get the master's degree

of the mindful attraction University

taught by Professor Alex you can get the

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courses cost cost one

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can also do like a payment plan feminine

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Banger bang with all of the

bonuses at one lower price people and

with that honestly this is the type

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informational junkies but this is the

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being inclusive here and stuff like that

um anyways hopefully you guys enjoy this

hopefully you guys can um support the

channel by purchasing those courses and

I'll see you guys inside bye-bye