I'm sorry

Summary

In this emotional video, the creator reflects on their past mistakes, acknowledging the consequences of their actions that led to being banned from a popular server. They share the struggles of dealing with online harassment, their own emotional battles, and how their past anger affected others. Despite feeling regretful and apologizing to those they've hurt, they express a desire to move forward and find peace, admitting they no longer seek validation from big platforms like Twitch. The video is a raw confession of growth, self-awareness, and the painful journey of change, ending with an expression of gratitude for the good memories they've made.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker expresses regret about their behavior in the past and acknowledges that they deserve the consequences of their actions.
• 😞 They clarify that this message is not to ask for sympathy or to seek reinstatement, but to explain their feelings and experiences.
• 😢 The speaker reflects on a past event, where they lashed out at someone who was harassing them, which led to their ban.
• 😤 They admit that, although the harassment they experienced was significant, their response was still inappropriate.
• 🤯 The speaker describes feeling angry and frustrated for years after the incident, leading to personal struggles such as weight gain and mistreatment of others.
• 💔 They express deep remorse for their past actions, including being mean to others, and wish they had handled situations differently.
• 😔 The speaker conveys a desire for personal growth and change, stating that they want to be happy and not burdened by insecurity and anger.
• 💡 They express the realization that being part of Twitch or a corporate entity is not necessary for their happiness or personal development.
• 🔄 The speaker acknowledges the support they received from the community but requests that others not defend them or risk their own standing on their behalf.
• 🎵 They mention that their time in the community, particularly interacting with people who appreciated their music, was enjoyable and meaningful.
• 🙏 The speaker concludes by thanking everyone for the good experiences they had, but emphasizes that they need to move on and accept their personal responsibility.

Q & A

Why is the speaker choosing to leave the OTV server?

The speaker is choosing to leave the OTV server because they do not want to cause trouble for others. They feel that continuing their involvement might lead to negative consequences, even though they have enjoyed their time there.

What event led to the speaker being banned, and how does the speaker feel about it?

The speaker was banned after reacting angrily to someone who had been harassing them for weeks. Despite justifying their reaction due to the harassment, the speaker acknowledges they shouldn't have responded in such a manner and expresses regret for their actions.

How does the speaker describe the impact of their previous actions on their life?

The speaker feels that their anger and actions, such as reacting impulsively to online harassment, have had a significant negative impact on their life, including personal relationships and their professional reputation. They express deep regret for how they treated others.

What does the speaker mean by 'I just want to be happy'?

The speaker is expressing a desire to find peace and personal happiness, free from the anger, insecurity, and aggression that they have struggled with due to past experiences and their upbringing.

How does the speaker feel about their past behavior on Twitch?

The speaker admits to having been rude and difficult during their time on Twitch, stating that they treated others poorly and were driven by feelings of being persecuted. They acknowledge that their behavior contributed to their ban and express regret for how they acted.

What is the speaker’s perspective on receiving support or defending them?

The speaker does not want anyone to defend them or risk their own reputation for their sake. They believe they don't deserve that kind of support and express gratitude while discouraging others from throwing away their own chances or opportunities for them.

What did the speaker enjoy most about being on the OTV server?

The speaker enjoyed being around people who appreciated their music and gave positive feedback, creating a sense of connection and belonging that they found meaningful.

What is the speaker’s stance on continuing to make content in the future?

The speaker seems to have accepted that they will continue creating content but in a different way. They mention focusing on making Omegle videos as they no longer feel the need to be on Twitch or part of certain communities to be a better person.

Why does the speaker say they don't need to be on Twitch to become a better person?

The speaker believes that personal growth does not require them to be on Twitch or involved in the community. They feel that they can still improve and live a fulfilling life without those platforms, as they are learning to manage their personal struggles outside of streaming.

What emotional state does the speaker express in the final part of the transcript?

In the final part of the transcript, the speaker expresses regret, humility, and acceptance. They acknowledge their mistakes and show a desire to move on from past behaviors, seeking happiness and self-improvement without the need for external validation or support.