Fearful Avoidant's Top 2 Daily Fears: Understand And Overcome Your Biggest Obstacles | HealingFa.com

Summary

In this insightful video, Paulien explores the dual fears faced by individuals with a fearful-avoidant attachment style: the fear of making mistakes and the fear of doing things wrong. While the former relates to the consequences and the belief of being a bad person, the latter focuses on self-identity and fear of judgment. Paulien emphasizes the importance of accepting that making mistakes is a human trait, which fosters personal growth and deeper connections with others. By healing these fears, individuals can achieve greater freedom and happiness in their lives.

Takeaways

• 😀 Fearful avoidants often experience deep-rooted fears, which manifest in everyday situations.
• 😟 The fear of making mistakes stems from the belief that making errors leads to negative consequences, such as rejection or anger from others.
• 😓 The fear of doing things wrong is more about self-identity and the fear of being perceived as incompetent or foolish by others.
• 🔍 Both fears are distinct yet interconnected, reaffirming different core beliefs about oneself.
• 🌱 Making mistakes is a natural part of being human and essential for growth and learning.
• 👶 Children especially need to feel they can make mistakes without harsh judgment to develop healthily.
• 💔 The fear of making mistakes can lead to shame and the belief that one is a bad person.
• 🚫 Fearful avoidants often feel they must hide or hold back to avoid potential mistakes or judgments.
• 🌍 Embracing one's imperfections can lead to greater freedom, allowing for more authentic connections with others.
• ❤️ Healing these core wounds helps fearful avoidants realize they are worthy of love and belonging, despite their mistakes.

Q & A

What are the two main fears discussed in the video?

The two main fears discussed are the fear of making mistakes and the fear of doing things wrong.

How does the fear of making mistakes affect fearful avoidants?

Fearful avoidants often struggle with the belief that making mistakes makes them a bad person, which can lead to feelings of shame and the urge to hide.

What is the difference between the fear of making mistakes and the fear of doing things wrong?

The fear of making mistakes is primarily about the consequences of those mistakes and how they affect others, while the fear of doing things wrong is more about self-identity and fear of being judged as incapable or dumb.

What core belief does the fear of making mistakes reinforce?

The fear of making mistakes reinforces the belief that one is a bad person and unworthy of love and acceptance.

What belief does the fear of doing things wrong reaffirm?

The fear of doing things wrong reaffirms the belief that one does not belong and is different or weird compared to others.

Why is it important for children to learn they can make mistakes?

Children need to know they can make mistakes as it is a crucial part of learning and growing. Without this understanding, they may carry the belief that they are not allowed to make mistakes into adulthood.

How can healing from these fears benefit fearful avoidants?

Healing from these fears can lead to a sense of belonging and acceptance, allowing fearful avoidants to connect with others without fear and recognize their own worth.

What role does empathy play in the lives of fearful avoidants?

Fearful avoidants often develop a strong sense of empathy as they heal, enabling them to understand others' perspectives and take responsibility for their actions.

What is a common misconception fearful avoidants have about how others perceive them?

A common misconception is that they must ensure everyone likes them and views them positively to feel safe and accepted.

What does the speaker encourage fearful avoidants to understand about their worth?

The speaker encourages fearful avoidants to recognize that they are valuable and worthy of love and kindness, regardless of mistakes or how others judge them.