How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say (ever)

Summary

The video discusses how to handle awkward silences and keep conversations flowing, particularly in social or romantic situations. It emphasizes the importance of practicing real conversations to improve communication skills. Key tips include asking genuine questions, taking an interest in the other person's responses, and confidently ending conversations when needed. Passion and presence are highlighted as crucial elements for engaging interactions. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace discomfort, practice often, and trust in their value as individuals, ultimately becoming better communicators through experience and confidence.

Takeaways

• 😀 Conversations can be awkward, especially when you're left alone with someone new, but there's a way to handle it smoothly.
• 😅 Don't rely on canned responses; they often sound unnatural and come across like an NPC in a game.
• 💡 The key to improving conversational skills is repetition—practice in real-life situations, not just by watching videos or following scripts.
• 😎 Boring questions like 'How's your day?' or 'What have you been up to?' are okay if you follow up with genuine interest and build upon their response.
• 🔍 Ask questions that you're genuinely curious about, such as 'Where do you work out?' or 'How's your experience been here?' to keep the conversation flowing naturally.
• ✋ Don't let the conversation linger if it gets awkward; make a confident exit when necessary, especially in casual encounters.
• 🎯 Dates signify a level of mutual interest, so use this opportunity to keep the conversation going with genuine passion and curiosity.
• 🔥 Passion is key when talking about any topic—people are naturally drawn to those who speak with enthusiasm and energy.
• 💪 Conversation is a learned skill; you'll likely struggle at first, but practice will help you get better over time.
• 🏆 Believe in your value, and don't psyche yourself out—approach every interaction with confidence, knowing you're improving and growing.

Q & A

What is the main issue being addressed in the video?

The main issue addressed in the video is the challenge of running out of things to say in conversations, especially in social situations with new people, such as talking to a girl or during other potentially awkward encounters.

What is the speaker's solution to handling awkward pauses in conversation?

The speaker's solution is to practice conversations frequently and focus on asking genuine questions, taking a real interest in what the other person says, and building on their responses. The speaker emphasizes repetition and getting 'reps in' to become comfortable in conversations.

Why does the speaker discourage using canned or scripted lines?

The speaker discourages using canned or scripted lines because conversations are unpredictable, and using rehearsed responses can make interactions feel unnatural and robotic. Authenticity and adaptability are key to keeping conversations flowing.

What does the speaker mean by 'human variability' in conversations?

By 'human variability,' the speaker refers to the unpredictable nature of human responses. Different people react differently to the same question or situation, so it's important to be flexible and adapt in real-time rather than relying on pre-planned lines.

What are some example questions the speaker suggests using in conversations?

The speaker suggests simple but effective questions like 'How’s your day going?' or 'What have you been up to today?' These questions open up opportunities to continue the conversation by commenting on their responses or sharing your own experiences.

How does the speaker suggest handling moments when the conversation dries up?

The speaker recommends making a 'clean, confident break' if the conversation becomes too dry, rather than letting awkwardness build. For instance, one could exit the conversation politely by saying something like, 'I have to run, but it was nice meeting you.'

What is the role of passion in conversations according to the speaker?

The speaker emphasizes that passion plays a crucial role in making conversations engaging. Speaking with passion about things you genuinely care about helps maintain interest and create a more dynamic and enjoyable interaction.

Why does the speaker compare learning conversation skills to NBA players practicing shots?

The speaker uses the NBA analogy to highlight that while it’s easy to perform when no pressure is involved (like practicing shots in a gym), the real challenge comes when facing real-life, high-pressure situations. Similarly, conversation skills are best developed through real-life practice under varying circumstances.

What mindset does the speaker encourage when approaching conversations?

The speaker encourages a mindset of confidence and self-worth. They remind viewers that they are valuable individuals working on improving themselves and should not feel inferior or unworthy when talking to others, including in romantic or social settings.

How does the speaker suggest building on someone's response in a conversation?

The speaker suggests commenting on or asking follow-up questions about the person's response. For example, if someone mentions going for a run, you could comment on your own preferences for running or ask about their favorite places to run.

Outlines

00:00

😬 Navigating Awkward Conversations with Confidence

The speaker describes a common scenario: being left alone with a girl at an event and running out of things to say. He explains how the conversation can become awkward and how many men tend to rely on unengaging questions, leading to a dry exchange. The solution to these situations, according to the speaker, is practice—getting real-life conversation experience. The speaker emphasizes that no one is naturally charismatic and skilled at conversation without repeated practice and that there's no simple formula to follow due to the unpredictability of human interactions.

05:00

📝 Mastering Conversation Through Practice and Reps

Building on the idea of practicing conversations, the speaker stresses the importance of repetition, comparing it to athletes who practice shooting under pressure in the NBA Finals. He dismisses the idea that watching YouTube videos on pickup lines or conversation tactics will magically make someone successful in real-life conversations. Instead, he encourages the audience to get real-world experience, explaining that practice in different social settings helps develop the ability to adapt to the unpredictability of conversations.

🎯 Use Boring Questions to Start Engaging Conversations

The speaker provides practical advice on handling conversations: it's okay to start with simple, even boring, questions. He suggests asking how someone’s day has been or what they’ve been up to. These questions help break the ice and provide opportunities to build on the conversation by taking an interest in what the other person says. The key is to follow up with relatable comments or observations, even if the subject matter seems mundane. This approach keeps the conversation natural and engaging.

❓ Ask What You Really Want to Know

Another crucial point made by the speaker is that questions should come from genuine curiosity. Instead of asking random questions, ask things you're truly interested in knowing. For example, if the person talks about working out, ask them where they work out and express real interest. The speaker also provides a useful fallback question, 'How's your experience with that?'—a versatile question that allows the other person to expand on almost any topic. This question encourages deeper responses and helps avoid awkward pauses.

🚪 Know When to End the Conversation Gracefully

The speaker advises that when the conversation dries up, it’s okay to make a smooth exit. Don’t force the interaction to continue or allow the awkwardness to build. For casual interactions, like meeting someone for the first time on the street, he suggests confidently ending the conversation by saying you have to leave but offering to exchange social media info. In more formal settings, like a date, the speaker emphasizes that dates carry higher stakes, but you should still focus on building on what the other person says and speaking about things you're passionate about.

🔥 Speak with Passion to Keep the Conversation Alive

The speaker highlights the importance of speaking with passion, explaining that passion makes conversations engaging and draws people in. He notes that even on platforms like YouTube, success often stems from showing passion rather than relying solely on editing or content. This same principle applies to conversations—enthusiasm and genuine interest in what you're discussing will captivate the other person and keep the dialogue flowing naturally. Passion and confidence go hand in hand when communicating effectively.

💎 Embrace the Learning Process and Keep Improving

Concluding the video, the speaker reminds the audience that learning how to communicate effectively is a gradual process, akin to improving a skill like meditating or shooting free throws. No one starts as an expert, and initial awkwardness is part of the journey. The pressure of real conversations helps people grow, and he encourages viewers to embrace challenges, persist through mistakes, and focus on self-improvement. Ultimately, it’s about having confidence, enjoying the process, and realizing that conversations are a normal part of life.

Keywords

💡Conversation

A key theme of the video, focusing on how to handle conversations, especially in social settings like meeting a new person. The speaker emphasizes the importance of keeping the dialogue natural, interesting, and genuine, suggesting strategies to avoid awkward pauses and dry moments.

💡Repetition

The video stresses the value of repetition in becoming better at conversations. The speaker encourages viewers to repeatedly engage in social interactions to improve their skills, comparing it to practice in sports like basketball, where consistent effort leads to mastery.

💡Awkward silence

This concept highlights the uncomfortable pauses that often happen in conversations when people run out of things to say. The speaker provides advice on how to avoid these moments by asking engaging questions or making observations to keep the flow of the interaction going.

💡Boring questions

The speaker explains that asking simple, 'boring' questions like 'How’s your day?' can actually be effective in conversation. These questions force a response and open up opportunities to build upon, making them a useful tool to break the ice.

💡Building upon responses

This is a key strategy the speaker shares for keeping a conversation going. After someone responds to a question, the idea is to make a comment or observation based on their answer and expand on it, which keeps the dialogue flowing naturally.

💡Passion

The video emphasizes the importance of speaking with passion in conversations. Passion helps convey genuine interest, which makes interactions more engaging and helps to build rapport. The speaker suggests that showing enthusiasm, even about mundane topics, can make a big difference in how others perceive you.

💡Cold approach

A concept in social dynamics where someone starts a conversation with a stranger, often in a setting like a street or an event. The speaker advises viewers on how to handle these situations, recommending confidence and a smooth exit if the conversation reaches a natural end.

💡Practice

The speaker compares conversational skills to a muscle that needs practice. Just like improving in sports or learning any skill, talking to people frequently is necessary to get better. Real-world experience is emphasized over theoretical knowledge from tutorials or videos.

💡Chemistry

This refers to the natural rapport or connection that can occur between two people in a conversation. The speaker mentions how on a date, chemistry is crucial and often determines how comfortable the conversation is, making it important to focus on maintaining a flow in such interactions.

💡Confidence

Confidence is highlighted as essential when interacting with others, especially in potentially intimidating situations like talking to someone you're attracted to. The speaker reassures viewers that with practice and a good mindset, confidence will naturally improve, which will positively impact social interactions.

Highlights

The importance of not running out of things to say in conversations, especially with new people.

The challenge of keeping a conversation going when a friend leaves you alone with someone new.

The necessity of practicing conversation skills to handle various social situations.

The unpredictability of human interaction and how it affects conversation flow.

Avoiding sounding like an NPC by showing genuine interest in the conversation.

The analogy of NBA players practicing to improve their performance under pressure.

The first fundamental pillar: it's okay to ask boring questions as long as they lead to further conversation.

The technique of asking open-ended questions to encourage elaboration from the other person.

The importance of asking questions you genuinely want to know the answer to.

Using the phrase 'how's your experience with that' to open up conversational avenues.

Knowing when to gracefully exit a conversation to avoid awkward silences.

The significance of passion in conversation and how it can make a connection more engaging.

The idea that conversation skills are developed over time, similar to learning a new sport.

The advice to relax and embrace the natural flow of conversation.

The reminder that conversations are a normal part of human interaction and should not be feared.

The encouragement to approach conversations with confidence and value your own worth.

Transcripts

all right stay with me here let me know

if you've been in a position like this

so you're at some sort of event you and

your friend right and your friend

introduces you to a cute girl that he

knows and you're talking chatting [ __ ]

it's going good but then your friend

says oh I just need to run to the

bathroom real quick you're on your own

with this cutie you're sitting there the

conversation is dry there's stagnation

there's a pause you're thinking what do

I say next the girl doesn't know what to

say either you're thinking does she even

care does she even trying and you're

scrambling reaching for something to say

you say what do you like to do for fun

there you go not bad she replies and

then you're stifled again what do you

say you have officially ran out of

things to say yes we have all been there

before I've been there countless times

as well but don't worry because I got

you I'm going to equip you with the

skills on how to handle these situations

so that you never ever run out of things

to say with a girl with you know your

girlfriend's parents with your boss

co-workers whatever it will no longer be

an

issue now I wish I could just say you

just say this and then she'll say this

and you say this and then you say this

and then this will happen and then that

will happen and then you'll get the

number everything will be fine and dandy

and then you're done right no doesn't

work like that cuz there's just way too

much human variability meaning you can't

expect what's going to happen one person

might say this in response whereas

someone else will say something totally

different you never know what direction

the conversation's going to go you could

ask a girl how was your day and which is

pretty good and she'll just give you two

or three word answers and not ask you

what about you in return and that might

throw you totally off your game you just

sound like an NPC where you're just

ending up interviewing her and she can

tell that you don't really even give a

[ __ ] you're just trying to fill up the

time with things that might sound kind

of normal in a conversation but really

don't seem natural at all you know um

what do you like to do uh are you from

here um do you go to school uh do you

like Netflix you know no it sounds like

MPC it sounds like if you chat GPT how

to have a conversation and then it's

using your mouth as the output so don't

do that we want to be aing human in the

digital age this is how you stand out

and how do you do that well I'm sorry

but the answer is pretty simple and that

is repetition you got to get in there

and get your reps in go practice

conversation go have those hard

conversations with girls you got to

approach them and just be in the

trenches and make it out of the other

side Victorious this is how every guy

that's good at conversating

communicating with women or whoever how

they get good at it no one was just born

you know Rico Suave with the Charisma of

d007 right out of the womb no it doesn't

happen it's like you know in the NBA you

can see the guys in the YouTube videos

they're out at the shoot around and

they're making every single shot yeah

anybody can do that that's like you know

these canned responses that you hear

about in other YouTube videos but then

once those same guys are out under the

bright lights of the NBA Finals they're

[ __ ] bricking every shot cuz it's

just way different it's real [ __ ] it's

not YouTube anymore it's not you

watching your favorite YouTuber telling

you these 10 best pickup lines in this

[ __ ] cuz once you're in there you're in

the conversation in real life anything

can happen you're in the trenches baby

so you need to get the Reps in so you

can handle everything but don't think I

made this video and got you to click on

it without having some fundamental you

know solid advice for you how to handle

conversations so here is my best

fundamental pillars for you first pillar

is boring questions are okay one of my

go-tos is just you say how's your day

going and they have to say something and

then you just take actual real interest

into it and then just follow up oh nice

sounds like a good day so far i' just

been kind of like hanging out um I meant

to go on a run but blah blah blah blah

blah and then they'll say something to

that or another one that I say all the

time is just oh hey how's it going nice

to meet you blah blah blah what have you

been up to today there's no Escape in

that they have to tell you what they've

been up to whether it's something boring

or something exciting you just take that

and then you make a comment and build

upon that you say oh yeah you know that

sounds like a nice lazy day I need to

have a nice chill day I've just been go

go go for the past like four weeks and

then take it from there another example

a girl says oh yeah I went for a run

around the reservoir oh cool I actually

prefer running on a treadmill is that

crazy I don't know I maybe I just like

consistency or something you just make

an observation about what they said and

you just kind of like Riff on it I don't

know there's no better way to explain it

than you need to just practice and get

good at it next pillar ask what you

actually want to know so at some point

you're probably going to have to ask a

question unless she's just really doing

all the talking and it's just just going

amazing it's okay to ask her something

but if you actually care about it oh are

you from around here it's cool it's fine

it's a good thing to know if she's from

around here then it reveals a lot about

The Narrative of how this relationship

is going to go is it going to be long

distance if it ends up getting there or

can we just see each other on a whim

whenever as you get better you'll find

that you can pretty much comment back

upon whatever they say if they say oh

yeah I just worked out you say oh cool

where do you work out at I just moved

here I don't know any good gyms around

here you know whatever but if you find

that you can't build upon what they say

you just say oh how was your experience

with that that is a gold mine right that

one down how's your experience been so

far here in la oh I'm from Alaska W how

was your your experience with that you

just open up a whole realm where they

can take in any direction and then they

can say a myriad of different things

that you can latch on to and then Branch

off of how's your experience with that

write that one down now there's probably

going to be a time that comes when the

conversation gets a little bit dry

especially if you just met this person

you're kind of struggling to think of

something to say I recommend get

out don't make it be this awkward thing

where she's trying to think of has

something to say you're trying to think

of something to say and it's the

tension's building and she's wondering

oh is he just going to make let this

linger or Escape kind of like I just did

just now that lingered too long I think

let it run its natural pace and just

have a clean confident break all right

well I got to run so I'll catch you

later maybe I'll grab your Instagram is

that cool this is great especially with

cold approaches or if you just met you

know on the street or at an event or

something but obviously this isn't

always the case if you're on a date

you're stuck there you're kind of forced

to keep talking but that's that's why

it's kind of a big deal if a girl agreed

to go on a date with you this means she

probably likes you quite a bit because

you risk a huge possibility going on a

date with somebody a huge risk that

there's going to be super awkward

moments and that you're not going to

Jive or have chemistry so that's why

it's a big deal and you need to

capitalize on the dates so this is where

do your best to keep the conversation

going build upon what she said add what

you can and then ask things that you

genuinely are passionate about and want

to know passion is super duper important

so when you speak speak with passion you

see anybody can be a popular YouTuber

this is going off on a little side ramp

but people think oh it's the personality

that makes a a great famous YouTuber oh

no it's the editing oh it's the content

or it's the blah blah blah blah blah no

all it really takes to be a famous big

well-known YouTuber is being passionate

about what you talk about because

there's an intrinsic value that people

pick up on which they love it lights A

Fire Within them when they see something

body who speaks with passion so enjoy

the moment enjoy the presence and speak

with passion oh wow that's so cool I've

never been there oh yeah I'd love to try

that gym we should go sometime you can

put me through your booty workout I

don't know so all this to say relax

you're probably going to suck for a

while it's a learned skill just like

meditating or hitting a free throw no

one's going to be perfect their first

time you're going to have to pull

yourself through the trenches and crawl

to the top but it's the pressure that

makes a diamond so embrace it get your

reps in and just be passionate and have

fun and enjoy it and just remind

yourself it's just two adults talking

this is what we're here for this is

normal real life and what we're supposed

to be doing too many guys doubt

themselves and they think oh I'm not

good enough to be talking to you or

you're above me I'm below you and they

psych themselves out to where they feel

like they are inferior you're not I

promise you you're here watching this

video because you're definitely a man

with enough value that you take interest

in these things and you are working to

become awesome so that's dope and act

like it when you're in these

interactions good luck Padawan see you

in the next video peace