How To Know If Your Kid Is Transgender | Planned Parenthood Video

Summary

This script addresses parents' concerns about their child's gender identity. It explains that gender identity is innate and can be recognized as early as age three. Signs of a transgender child include consistent, insistent, and persistent identification with a gender different from their assigned one. Parents are advised to seek support, listen, and affirm their child's identity to foster a healthy relationship and self-esteem.

Takeaways

• 🏳️‍🌈 Your child's gender identity is inherent and cannot be changed by parents.
• 👶 Children can understand their gender identity as early as 3 years old.
• 👗 Wearing certain clothes or engaging in activities does not determine one's gender identity.
• 🌟 Transgender children consistently, insistently, and persistently express their gender identity.
• 💡 Look for signs that your child consistently identifies with a gender different from what is assigned at birth.
• 😢 Children may feel upset or distressed if their gender identity is not acknowledged.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's important to support and validate your child's gender identity for their mental health and well-being.
• 👨‍⚕️ Seek guidance from professionals who are knowledgeable and supportive of transgender identities.
• 🌐 Connect with other families who have transgender children for support and understanding.
• 🚫 Avoid forcing your child into a gender role that doesn't fit them; it can harm their self-esteem and relationship with you.
• ❤️ Listen, be present, and show love for your child as they are.

Q & A

What is the difference between a child's gender identity and their sexual orientation?

Gender identity is a person's internal sense of being male, female, or something else, while sexual orientation refers to who they are attracted to. The script mentions that children can understand their gender identity as early as 3 years old, but typically don't have a sense of their sexual orientation until middle or high school.

How can a parent tell if their child might be transgender?

Transgender children often express their gender identity in a consistent, insistent, and persistent manner. They clearly identify with one particular gender, feel strongly about their identity, and maintain their identification over time.

Is experimenting with gender expression always indicative of being transgender?

No, not always. Some children may experiment with their gender expression as a phase or personal preference, while others may have a deeper sense that the traditional categories of 'boy' or 'girl' do not fit them, which could indicate that they are transgender.

What should a parent do if they suspect their child might be transgender?

If a parent suspects their child might be transgender, they can seek support by talking with a counselor or therapist who is familiar with and supportive of transgender identities, or connect with other families who have transgender children.

Can a child's activities or clothing choices make them transgender?

No, engaging in activities typically associated with a different gender or wearing certain clothing does not make a child transgender. These are expressions of personal preference and do not determine one's gender identity.

What are the potential negative effects of forcing a child into a gender role that doesn't fit them?

Forcing a child into a gender role that doesn't align with their identity can harm their self-esteem, body image, and relationship with their parents. They may worry that their parents don't love them or that they can't be themselves around them.

What is the best approach for parents to support a transgender child?

The best approach is to listen to the child, be there for them, and show them love and acceptance as they are. This includes respecting their gender identity and expression.

What resources are available for parents to learn more about supporting transgender children?

Parents can check out resources like plannedparenthood.org/parents for more information on supporting transgender children.

At what age can children start to understand their gender identity?

Children can start to understand their gender identity as early as 3 years old, according to the script.

How can parents tell if their child's gender expression is just a phase or indicative of their true gender identity?

If a child's expression of their gender identity is consistent, insistent, and persistent over time, it may be indicative of their true gender identity rather than just a phase.

What is the role of a counselor or therapist in supporting transgender children and their families?

Counselors or therapists who are familiar with and supportive of transgender identities can provide guidance, support, and resources to help families navigate the complexities of raising a transgender child.

Outlines

00:00

🏳️‍🌈 Understanding Your Child's Gender Identity

This paragraph discusses how parents can recognize if their child is transgender. It clarifies that children can understand their gender identity from as young as three years old, and that being transgender is not a phase but a consistent, insistent, and persistent identification with a gender different from the one assigned at birth. The paragraph advises parents to listen to their children, seek support from professionals and other families, and to avoid imposing a rigid gender identity on their children, as it can harm their self-esteem and relationship with the parents.

Keywords

💡Transgender

Transgender refers to individuals whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. In the context of the video, it is important to understand that being transgender is about one's internal sense of self rather than external behaviors or preferences. The script mentions that some children may consistently, insistently, and persistently express a gender identity that differs from their assigned sex, indicating that they might be transgender.

💡Gender Identity

Gender identity is a deeply-felt sense of being male, female, or something else, and may not necessarily align with an individual's biological sex. The video emphasizes that children can start to understand their gender identity as early as three years old, which is crucial for parents to recognize and support.

💡Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation refers to who a person is attracted to, such as same-sex, opposite-sex, or both sexes. The script clarifies that while sexual orientation typically becomes apparent during adolescence, gender identity can be recognized much earlier, highlighting the distinction between the two concepts.

💡Gender Expression

Gender expression is how a person presents their gender to the world, through behaviors, clothing, hairstyles, and other aspects. The video script notes that some children might experiment with their gender expression, which could be a phase or a personal preference, and it's different from their core gender identity.

💡Consistent

Consistent, in the context of the video, refers to a child's unwavering identification with a particular gender. It's one of the signs that might indicate a child is transgender, as they do not fluctuate in their expression of gender identity.

💡Insistent

Insistent is used to describe the strong feelings a transgender child might have about their gender identity. They are not just casually identifying with a different gender but feel a deep sense of conviction about it, which can be hurtful if others do not acknowledge it.

💡Persistent

Persistent indicates that the child's identification with a particular gender is not a fleeting idea but remains constant over time. This is an important factor in understanding whether a child might be transgender, as it shows a lasting and enduring sense of self.

💡Counselor or Therapist

A counselor or therapist, as mentioned in the video, is a professional who can provide support and guidance to families navigating issues related to gender identity. They are particularly valuable when they are knowledgeable and affirming of transgender identities.

💡Gender Box

The 'gender box' is a metaphor used in the video to describe societal expectations and norms about how males and females should behave or present themselves. Forcing a child into a gender box that doesn't fit can be harmful, as it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and distress.

💡Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to a person's overall sense of self-worth. The video script warns that imposing rigid gender roles can negatively impact a child's self-esteem and body image, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to express their true selves.

💡Supportive Environment

A supportive environment is one where a child feels accepted and loved for who they are. The video encourages parents to create such an environment by listening, being present, and showing love for their children, which is essential for the child's well-being.

Highlights

Children can start understanding their gender identity as early as 3 years old.

Transgender children have a consistent understanding of their gender identity.

Transgender kids insist on their gender identity and get upset when corrected.

The gender identity of transgender children remains persistent over time.

Experimenting with gender expression can be a phase or personal preference for some kids.

Forcing children into a gender box they don't fit into can harm their self-esteem and body image.

Parents should listen to their children and support their gender identity.

Engaging in activities like ballet for boys or dressing as a male superhero for girls doesn't make them transgender.

Parents can seek support from a counselor or therapist familiar with transgender identities.

Connecting with other families with transgender children can be helpful.

Gender identity is not something that can be changed by parents.

Most people don't have a sense of their sexual orientation until middle or high school.

Some children may understand that the gender assigned to them at birth doesn't match their internal sense of self.

Transgender kids communicate their gender identity in a clear and consistent manner.

It's important to let children express themselves and not force them into rigid gender roles.

Children may worry that their parents don't love them if they can't be themselves.

The best support parents can provide is to listen, be present, and show love for their children as they are.

For more information, parents can visit plannedparenthood.org/parents.

Transcripts

How do I know if my kid is transgender?

You may be wondering: if my son wears skirts all the time, could that mean he’s gay or transgender?

And what does it mean if my daughter doesn’t want to be called a girl?

The truth is that your child is who they are, and it’s going to be ok.

There’s nothing you as a parent can do to change your kid’s gender identity.

While most people don’t have a sense of their sexual orientation until middle or high school,

children do start to understand their gender identity as early as 3 years old.

Some little kids may understand that the gender everyone says they are is not who they really

know they are inside — and that’s the definition of transgender.

For some kids, experimenting with their gender expression is just a phase or a personal preference.

But for others, deep inside they have a sense that “boy” or “girl” isn’t the right category for them.

So how do you know if your kid is trying to tell you that they’re transgender?

Transgender kids tell you what their gender identity is in a way that’s:

Consistent: They don’t go back and forth about their gender — they clearly identify

with one particular gender identity.

Insistent: They feel very strongly about their identity, and get upset when they’re told

that they’re not the gender they say they are.

Persistent: How they identify themselves stays the same over time.

If that sounds like your kid and you’re not sure what to do, it can help to get some support.

Talk with a counselor or therapist who’s familiar with and supportive of transgender

identities, or connect with other families with transgender kids.

Letting your son do ballet, or letting your daughter dress up as a male superhero for Halloween

isn’t going to make them transgender.

But forcing them inside of a gender box they don’t fit into can hurt their self-esteem

and body image, and hurt their relationship with you.

They may even worry you don’t love them or that they can’t be themselves around you.

As always, the best thing you can do for your kid is listen to them, be there for them,

and show them you love them, just as they are.

Want to learn more?

Check out plannedparenthood.org/parents