ADVICE To Young People In Their 20's | Jordan Peterson & Lewis Howes
Summary
TLDRIn this video script, the speaker emphasizes the importance of developing key skills in one's 20s for overall success. They highlight maintaining physical health, fostering relationships, and cultivating reliability and generosity as crucial. The speaker also discusses the value of a strong network and the profound satisfaction derived from helping others. They delve into the concept of 'enlightened self-interest,' suggesting that acting ethically not only benefits others but also aligns with one's long-term self-interest, leading to a fulfilling life.
Takeaways
- 💪 Maintain physical health by exercising and avoiding excessive drinking and substance abuse.
- 🧠 Exercise is crucial for maintaining cognitive function as you age.
- 👫 Foster and maintain relationships as they become increasingly valuable with age.
- 🔗 Build a wide network of connections as it can open doors to opportunities and knowledge.
- 🌟 Be reliable, generous, and develop a reputation for being someone others want to collaborate with.
- 🤔 Cultivate philosophical sophistication to better understand and navigate the world.
- 🌱 Helping others is more rewarding than focusing solely on personal gain.
- 💰 Consider long-term interests when making decisions, as they align with acting ethically and benefiting others.
- 🏆 Aim to win in a way that also benefits others, creating a win-win situation.
- 🔄 Understand that you are a community of selves across time, and act in a manner that benefits your future self.
Q & A
What are the key skills people should develop in their 20s according to the transcript?
-The key skills mentioned are maintaining good physical health, fostering and maintaining relationships, and developing philosophical sophistication.
How does the transcript suggest one can tell if they are drinking too much?
-The transcript suggests that if one regrets their actions while drinking, it interferes with their goals, causes financial distress, or gets them in trouble with friends, family, or the police, they are likely drinking too much.
Why is physical health important according to the transcript?
-Physical health is important because it can improve one's strength, coordination, and cognitive ability. It also contributes to living a longer, healthier life and can help stave off the decline in fluid intelligence.
What role do relationships play in success according to the transcript?
-Relationships play a crucial role in success as they form a valuable network that becomes more beneficial as one gets older. Being reliable, generous, and having a wide connection network are key to success.
What is the significance of a connection network as mentioned in the transcript?
-A connection network is significant because it can provide access to a wide range of opportunities and resources. It can also increase one's influence and the likelihood of being chosen for collaborative endeavors.
How does the transcript define philosophical sophistication?
-Philosophical sophistication is defined as having a well-rounded understanding of the world, which can orient one properly and provide insights into the value of actions such as helping others.
Why is helping others considered more rewarding than other activities?
-Helping others is considered more rewarding because it provides a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that is unmatched by other experiences. It aligns with the idea of community and shared success.
What is the concept of 'enlightened self-interest' as discussed in the transcript?
-Enlightened self-interest refers to the idea that acting in a manner that benefits one's entire community across time is also the best strategy for long-term personal success and happiness.
How does the transcript connect the concept of community to the future?
-The transcript connects the concept of community to the future by stating that once humans discovered the future, they became a community of selves stretched across time, leading to a community ethic that values shared success.
What is the importance of being reliable and generous in the context of the transcript?
-Being reliable and generous is important because it makes one more desirable to collaborate with, leading to more opportunities and a better chance of success in various aspects of life.
How does the transcript relate the idea of playing games to real-life interactions?
-The transcript uses the idea of playing games to illustrate how fair and generous behavior in one interaction can lead to more opportunities for collaboration in the future, emphasizing the value of trust and mutual benefit.
Outlines
💪 Developing Essential Skills in Your 20s
The paragraph emphasizes the importance of physical health, avoiding substance abuse, and maintaining good relationships during one's 20s. It suggests that being in good physical condition can lead to a longer and healthier life, and that exercising can help maintain cognitive abilities. The speaker also highlights the value of having a reliable and generous character, as well as a wide network of connections, which becomes increasingly valuable with age. The paragraph concludes with a discussion on the benefits of helping others and how it can be more rewarding than focusing solely on personal gain.
🤔 The Philosophy of Generosity and Reliability
This paragraph delves into the concept that being generous and reliable is not only a moral stance but also a practical strategy for long-term success. It uses a hypothetical game scenario to illustrate how fair distribution of resources can lead to more opportunities in the future. The speaker argues that acting ethically is the best strategy for personal gain, as it builds a reputation that attracts more opportunities. The discussion also touches on the idea of the 'community of selves' across time, suggesting that acting in the best interest of one's future self involves considering the impact on others.
🎖️ The Significance of Early Experiences and Socialization
The final paragraph discusses the impact of early experiences on an individual's life course, using the example of a person who had a revelatory moment that led to a commitment to personal improvement. It also explores the role of socialization, particularly in the military, in shaping values such as teamwork and loyalty. The narrative suggests that these values are crucial for leadership and success, as they foster trust and support among peers.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Physical Health
💡Substance Abuse
💡Cognitive Ability
💡Relationships
💡Connection Network
💡Philosophical Sophistication
💡Generosity
💡Productivity
💡Ethical Argument
💡Community of Selves
💡Leadership
Highlights
The importance of being in good physical condition in one's 20s for overall well-being and success.
Identifying signs of excessive drinking and its negative impacts on life goals, finances, and relationships.
The significance of physical health in maintaining cognitive ability and preventing decline.
Exercise, particularly cardiovascular and weightlifting, as an effective way to maintain cognitive function.
The natural decline in fluid intelligence starting at around age 25 and how exercise can mitigate this.
The value of maintaining and fostering relationships for long-term success and support networks.
The concept that successful people are reliable, generous, and have extensive connection networks.
The advantage of older individuals having a well-established connection network.
The practical example of how to build a valuable connection network through generosity and reliability.
The philosophical insight that helping others is more rewarding than materialistic pursuits.
The psychological satisfaction derived from being of service to others.
The game theory example illustrating the benefits of fair distribution of resources in social interactions.
The strategy of being a person others want to engage with by being productive, straightforward, and generous.
The ethical argument that being a good person is the best strategy for personal success and fulfillment.
The concept of the self as a community across time and the importance of acting in the best interest of this community.
The idea that enlightened self-interest aligns with acting in the best interest of others.
The importance of socialization and learning to prioritize the well-being of one's team, as exemplified by the Navy SEALs.
The necessity of trust and support in leadership positions, especially in high-stakes environments.
Transcripts
um
what do you think of the skills that
people should start to develop in their
20s in general
to make them better human beings
more potentially
open to success financially relationship
health-wise what are
two or three things that everyone should
focus on in their 20s
well it certainly doesn't hurt to be in
physical good physical condition
so we can walk through it stop drinking
too much
how do you know if you're drinking too
much um
you regret what you do when you're
drinking
it's it's interfering with other
important goals
it's it's causing you financial distress
it's getting you in trouble with your
friends or your family
it's getting you in trouble with the
police okay
so stop abusing substances if you can
right if you see that they're um hurting
you
um an alcohol is particularly pernicious
in that regard
so physical health
are you in decent shape are you strong
and coordinated
and if you're not well you'd be better
if you were
you'd feel better you'd be more
effective you'd live longer you'd be
less sick
and you really see that mount up like if
someone's been in shape
once in their life they age way better
and it's also a really good way of
maintaining your cognitive ability
like you know you you hear about those
exercises that you can do online to
make you smarter and keep your cognitive
ability intact those don't work
there's no evidence that they work
people keep saying that they make you
smarter they maintain your cognitive
function
psychologists have studied that for 50
years hoping
that one of those things will work
trying all sorts of creative
tacks they don't work exercise works
cardiovascular and weightlifting you
start to decline in your
fluid intelligence at about the age of
25
and it's a linear trend downhill and it
can accelerate as you get older it's
just
like this quite ugly if you exercise you
stave that off so that's really useful
um maintain your relationships
and and foster them they're un so when i
look at successful people
they're really good at something they're
reliable
right you can count on their word
they're generous
and they have a wide wide connection
network
which becomes more and more valuable as
you get older yeah
so it's one advantage that older people
really have over younger people they
have a connection network and a
connection network is
huge well
you could be connected to a thousand
well-connected people
okay that means you are connected to the
entire world
right it's unbelievably valuable and
that's one of the things that's so
absolutely remarkable about the
situation that i'm in right now as far
as
one of the great benefits is i can
access i can contact
pretty much anybody and they'll talk to
me it's like really
right that's so cool i'm i'm interested
in infrastructure for reasons i won't
get into but i'm interested in
infrastructure development
i think it's a good method of wealth
transfer
it's a good solution to the problem of
inequality and employment
um i reached out to a leading expert
a leading expert on infrastructure last
week
see if he'd talk to me i thought i don't
know anything about infrastructure
except that it's worn to a frazzle and
we should do something about it
you know he agreed to talk and
having a connection network is of an
inestimable
inestimable value huge um
reliability generosity you can work on
both of those
philosophical sophistication
it's very useful um because it orients
you properly
you have a sophisticated sense of of the
world
you find for example that um
doing things for other people is
actually more rewarding than
virtually anything else you can do you
know when
you hear you should be of service to
other people
well if you actually watch yourself
you pay attention to yourself and you do
something that helps someone else and it
genuinely helps them
i defy you to find another experience
that is that satisfying it's actually
quite
stunning how satisfying that is
and so that's a very useful thing to
realize and why
why is helping another person the most
satisfying thing for probably most
people when they're
if they're you know out of their ego of
like i want to buy more things to make
me happy in this moment why is that
such a satisfying thing for human beings
uh there's no better strategy for
there's no better
life strategy i mean
imagine i could give you a quick
sort of technical example so imagine i
take two people and i say okay
um i'm gonna give you a hundred dollars
and you have to give some of it to the
person right beside you
and they can either agree or disagree
with the split but if they disagree
you don't get anything okay so
a classical economist would say that the
person should
take the hundred offer the person next
to them a dollar
and the person should accept it because
why not they get a dollar instead of
nothing
and that's the solution but what happens
is that if you don't offer that other
person something
close to 50 50 they're likely to tell
you to go to hell
yes very and they think nothing you get
nothing too
you think well why would people do that
because
they just reject 50 and who cares and
the answer is well we don't just play
one game with other people we play a
repeating game
and so so imagine we did this imagine
it's a crowd and they're all watching
you
and i offer you a hundred dollars and
you have to share it with the person
next to you and you say
would you like to take seventy dollars
and the person says well i'm not sure
that's fair to you but if it's okay
yes but then everyone else sees that
and now they all have an opportunity to
pick who they're going to play with
next well you're not going to get pissed
picked
last are you remember what you told me
you didn't want to get picked last right
okay so what you did was you turned
yourself into an athlete
a machine okay okay
great so but imagine we expand that game
yes
and we say you want to be the person
that everyone wants to play with yep
well then all you have in your whole
life is invitations to play
well how how and how are you going to be
that person be productive
straightforward generous
make everyone else better around you and
they're going to want to play with you
absolutely
so there you go and then you get to play
yeah exactly
well how is that not the best possible
deal it's
clearly see so so
the reason if if the ethical argument is
put properly
it is by far the most compelling
argument it's like if you want to have
everything you could possibly want and
more
then be a good person the better a
person you are the more likely that is
to happen
that doesn't mean you that you're
completely protected against getting cut
off at the knees
but there's no better strategy
that's it and you can even think about
it selfishly and i talk about this to
some degree and beyond order
let's say you let's say that i you want
to be selfish
you think that's the best possible
strategy why should i care about others
okay let's say you should only act in
your own best interest
well then it's like what's your best
interest
well what does interest
mean and what does you mean what's in
your best interest
your best interest three mysteries
what's your what's best what's interest
okay
well there's you but you aren't just you
right now
you're you and you tomorrow and you next
week and you next month and you
in five years and you in 10 years and
you when you're a pensioner
you're a community of selves stretched
across time
and so if you were enlightened and
selfish you would act in a manner that
would benefit that entire community
across time and i don't think that's any
different than acting
on the best possible part for other
people i think they're the same problem
so i think as soon as human beings
discovered the future
we we know we were no longer singular
individuals we're instantly each a
community
and then the community ethic prevails
and the community ethic is
i want to win in a way that makes you
win
that's the best possible victory
wins and what's the point well you think
it's a zero-sum game it's either you or
me
or maybe i want the comparative status
but i would say even if you want the
comparative status let's say you just
you're motivated by
that
what what would confer upon you even
hypothetically more status than to be
the most
popular person while being chosen for
games
i mean you think about that just think
for a second about right because it
struck me
that biographical um piece
alfred adler who was the psychologist
that i talked to you about earlier he
said
one of his claims was that many people
have a
like a a stark memory
that sets the course for their life
that's true of right moments
and you have exactly that and you so
adlerian
psychology would be of great interest to
you i suspect
but but partly you see what happened was
you had a true revelation
you thought i if i'm being picked
last something is wrong
and that's absolutely right it's it's
unbelievably right
and you played it out first in the
athletic domain but yes you have to
start somewhere
right so that's a good place to start
jockel was telling me when we talked
this week
he's this tough character man you know
and he could have
and i'm not telling tails out of school
here
he could have been a criminal no problem
and he knows that perfectly well and i'm
not saying
i'm not saying that as a slur on his
character
partly because i believe the nietzschean
dictum that a lot of morality is just
cowardice
whatever he might be he's not a coward
right
and so and just because you obey the
laws doesn't mean you're moral
just might mean you're afraid in any
case
so the question is well what socialized
this brute
well he was taught in the navy seals
take care of your
team that's your fundamental purpose
and he noted and we had a long
discussion about this
the successful guys man they've
you know they've got your back wow
right they you know that above all yeah
and if and if
if if you aspire to a leadership
position
among those brutes let's say and you
aren't
someone they know to have your back
they're not following you're not gonna
make it yeah
you're not gonna make it
you
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