Do THIS to SHUT DOWN Narcissists’ Flying Monkeys and Smear Campaigns For Good
Summary
TLDRIn this engaging conversation, Rebecca Zang, a top trial attorney and author, discusses her high conflict negotiation training program with a recent graduate, Dorothy Vaugh. The program equips coaches with strategies to handle high-conflict individuals, focusing on emotional strength and strategic goals. Dorothy shares her experiences dealing with a narcissist, and Rebecca offers insights on maintaining boundaries and leveraging one's authentic power. They explore coexisting with such individuals and the importance of mental strength in negotiation.
Takeaways
- 🌟 Rebecca Zang is a top trial attorney and author who has developed a program to train coaches in high conflict negotiation.
- 🎓 The program is designed with an online module and weekly classes, focusing on emotional strength and strategic goals for dealing with high conflict individuals.
- 🧠 Emotional strategies include teaching emotional regulation, setting healthy boundaries, mindfulness, and managing triggers.
- 🎯 The program emphasizes the importance of setting clear goals and strategies for negotiation, including communication techniques and maintaining leverage.
- 💡 A key concept is 'fluff for favor vomit later', which suggests managing the ego of high-conflict individuals while prioritizing emotional reactions afterward.
- 📉 Dorothy Vaugh, a graduate of the program, discusses her experiences dealing with a narcissist and the challenges of coexisting with their slander campaign.
- 🛡️ The importance of establishing an 'invisible shield' is highlighted to protect oneself from the emotional manipulation of high conflict individuals.
- 🌱 The program encourages letting go of the need for approval from those who are not aligned with one's energy, focusing on attracting like-minded, higher vibrational people.
- 🌐 Rebecca Zang's approach to negotiation involves understanding the psychological makeup of narcissists to ethically manipulate them using their own behaviors.
- 🔗 The program offers opportunities for graduates to become high conflict negotiation coaches, with potential applications in various fields including legal, personal, and workplace settings.
- 💼 Rebecca Zang also promotes her Shopify store and her book 'Outsmart the Narcissist', providing resources for individuals to deal with narcissistic behaviors.
Q & A
What is the main focus of the high conflict negotiation training program discussed in the script?
-The program focuses on teaching coaches how to work with high conflict individuals, particularly those with narcissistic traits. It includes strategies for emotional strength and regulation, setting healthy boundaries, mindfulness, and controlling triggers. Additionally, it covers strategic goals, communication strategies, and negotiation tactics.
Who is Dorothy Vaugh and what is her role in the conversation?
-Dorothy Vaugh is described as a 'gorgeous beautiful high conflict negotiation coach' and a recent graduate of the high conflict negotiation training program led by Rebecca. She is participating in a discussion to showcase her skills and share her experiences from the program.
What is the significance of the phrase 'fluff for favor vomit later' mentioned in the script?
-The phrase 'fluff for favor vomit later' is a strategy for dealing with high-conflict individuals, suggesting that one should manage their ego and not immediately react to their provocations. The idea is to handle the situation tactfully at first and deal with one's emotional response later.
How does the script suggest dealing with a smear campaign initiated by a narcissist?
-The script suggests putting up an 'invisible shield' around oneself and not engaging with the smear campaign. It emphasizes focusing on one's own emotional strength and letting go of the need to convince others of the truth, as the truth will eventually reveal itself.
What is the 'discard phase' mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to narcissists?
-The 'discard phase' is a term used to describe the period when a person removes themselves from a relationship with a narcissist. During this phase, the narcissist often starts a smear campaign, spreading lies and untruths about the person who has left them.
What is the importance of having a high vibrational state when dealing with high-conflict individuals, as mentioned in the script?
-Having a high vibrational state is important because it helps one maintain a positive and strong mental space, which can attract like-minded people and repel negative influences. It allows individuals to rise above the negativity of high-conflict individuals and not be affected by their attempts to provoke or manipulate.
How does Rebecca suggest one should react when people are playing both sides in a conflict involving a narcissist?
-Rebecca advises that one should not try to be friends or friendly with people who are jealous or smaller than them. She suggests letting go of those who are not aligned with one's energy and focusing on maintaining a high vibrational state.
What is the 'slay method' mentioned in the script, and who is Rebecca Zang?
-The 'slay method' is a proven strategy developed by Rebecca Zang, a top 1% trial attorney and USA Today best-selling author, to help people defeat narcissists in negotiations. Rebecca Zang has dedicated her career to helping people slay narcissists and take back control in high-conflict situations.
What are some of the potential applications of the high conflict negotiation training program discussed in the script?
-The program can be applied in various settings such as personal life, legal negotiations, workplace conflicts, and community groups. It can be used to start a coaching business, assist attorneys in understanding high-conflict dynamics, or help navigate political toxicity in the workplace.
How can one book a call to learn more about becoming a high conflict negotiation coach according to the script?
-Interested individuals can book a call by visiting rebecca.com/slaycoach or by signing up for a training session at highconsearch.com.
What is the significance of the Shopify mention at the end of the script?
-The mention of Shopify is a promotional note indicating that Rebecca's business, like many others, uses Shopify as a platform to sell products online. It highlights the ease of use and global accessibility of Shopify for businesses.
Outlines
🎓 Introduction to High Conflict Negotiation Training
The speaker, Rebecca, warmly welcomes Dorothy Vaugh, a graduate of the High Conflict Negotiation Coach Training program. This program is designed to equip coaches with skills to handle high-conflict individuals, particularly focusing on emotional strength and strategic goals. The training includes online modules and weekly classes led by Rebecca. Dorothy appreciates the program's structure, which emphasizes emotional regulation, setting boundaries, mindfulness, and managing triggers. The second part of the program focuses on strategic negotiation strategies, including communication and staying on the offensive. Dorothy also highlights Rebecca's advice on dealing with high-conflict individuals, which involves not immediately reacting to their provocations but rather focusing on one's own emotional response later.
🛡️ Dealing with Smear Campaigns and Emotional Boundaries
Dorothy shares her personal experience of dealing with a narcissist who engaged in a smear campaign after she removed them from her life. She discusses the challenges of coexisting with people who believe the narcissist's lies and the emotional toll it takes. Rebecca advises on putting up an 'invisible shield' to protect oneself emotionally and not to fear putting up boundaries, even if it might upset others. The conversation emphasizes the importance of letting go of the need for approval from those who are not genuinely supportive and focusing on those who are truly on one's side.
🌟 Maintaining Personal Energy and Authenticity
The discussion continues with strategies for maintaining one's energy and authenticity when dealing with people who might be playing both sides. Rebecca suggests that one should not try to convince others of their truth but instead let their authentic self speak for them. The analogy of a clean hot tub versus a dirty pool is used to illustrate the importance of not allowing negative energy into one's personal space. The conversation emphasizes the idea that one should not engage with those who are not aligned with their energy and should focus on being in their own 'zone', unaffected by the negativity of others.
🌱 Growth and Opportunities in High Conflict Negotiation Coaching
Rebecca and Dorothy discuss the benefits of the High Conflict Negotiation Coach Training program, including personal growth and the ability to help others. They mention the upcoming training session and encourage interested individuals to book a call to learn more. Dorothy expresses her gratitude for the program and shares her plans to use her new skills in various settings, such as the workplace, to help navigate political toxicity. The conversation highlights the versatility of the skills learned in the program and the potential for a lucrative career.
💸 Outsmarting Narcissists and the Power of Shopify
In the final paragraph, Rebecca reveals her expertise in dealing with narcissists, particularly in legal settings. She shares her journey of studying narcissism to help her clients and announces a live event where she will share her four-part proven plan to help people take back their power. Additionally, Rebecca promotes Shopify as a platform that has helped her and many others sell products worldwide, offering a $1 trial period for interested users.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡High Conflict Negotiation
💡Narcissist
💡Coaching
💡Emotional Strength
💡Strategic Goals
💡Flying Monkeys
💡Slander Campaign
💡Invisible Shield
💡Authentic Power
💡Vibrational Energy
💡Coherence Meditation
Highlights
Introduction of Dorothy Vaugh as a high conflict negotiation coach.
Description of the high conflict negotiation training program.
Mention of the program's online module for learning coaching techniques.
Emphasis on emotional strength training within the program.
Discussion on setting strategic goals as part of the program.
Highlight of a key program quote: 'fluff for favor vomit later'.
Dorothy's personal experience dealing with a narcissist and slander campaign.
Rebecca's introduction of her SLAY method for dealing with narcissists.
Explanation of the 'discard phase' and smear campaign in dealing with narcissists.
Advice on creating an 'invisible shield' to protect oneself.
Importance of letting go and not trying to convince others of one's truth.
Discussion on the inevitability of narcissists' behavior and the need to rise above it.
Analogies comparing energy levels and the need to maintain a high vibration.
Rebecca's advice on not being friends with those who are jealous or smaller than you.
The concept of 'ethically manipulating' narcissists using their own behavior.
Recommendation to focus on personal growth and authentic power.
Invitation to book a call to learn more about becoming a high conflict negotiation coach.
Promotion of the next training session for potential coaches.
Dorothy's endorsement of the program and its applicability in various settings.
Rebecca's offer for a $1 trial period for her Shopify store.
Rebecca's confession about her motivation for studying narcissism to help people.
Introduction of Rebecca's four-part proven blueprint for dealing with narcissists.
Transcripts
I'm so there she
is beautiful and I see people here from
South Jersey and
Maine and hi Dorothy I'm so glad you're
here and Dorothy vaugh is one of our
gorgeous beautiful um high conflict
negotiation coaches and I'm g go back
because feel like now all of a sudden my
head is cut
off um but it is great to see you it is
great to see you too
Rebecca
so I am was just talking about you and
our program which is the high conflict
negotiation training the coach training
and you are one of our recent
graduates yay
yeah so um talk a little bit about the
program and then we're going to just do
a little bit of coaching and then um I
was gonna have you showcase some of your
skills as well yes so Rebecca the the
the training program is so wonderful
because the way that you've designed it
is you have an online module where you
go through all of the steps to learn how
to coach high conflict individuals and
then you have these um online classes
that you um lead and teach us different
strategies and steps and so it's like a
weekly training program that gets you
towards the end and um and what I like
so much about the program is you're you
kind of split it up into two components
where you're you're teaching coaches how
to um help their clients um with their
emotional strength like there's a lot of
emotional strategies like um emotional
regulation you know healthy boundaries
mindfulness controlling triggers like
when you're dealing with high conflict
individuals you have to be mentally
strong and then the second part I love
that you have is about the Strategic
goals so how what is your goal what are
the strategies and the steps to get
there building that leverage um
determining how to communicate with
these high conflict individuals and
um you know staying on the offensive you
know these are all the the strategies on
how to negotiate which are is is very
brilliant how you designed the program
one of my favorite quotes that you do is
fluff for favor vomit later and I love
that because when you're dealing with
the high-c conflict individual it's all
about groping their ego and letting it
go and then you know worrying about your
emotional uh reaction to that later on
so these are just some of the things
that I love how you designed the program
and um I I'm so grateful that that you
offer this to so many people out there
that want to help others that have gone
through um challenges with high conflict
individuals yeah thank you well I know
you you have done a great job I've seen
such amazing growth in you thank you
since we started the program and um
today you were going to uh bring me a
little issue for me to coach you on so
talk about what you've been dealing with
a little something yes so um dealing
with high conflict individuals
specifically narcissist um I had a
narcissist that um that that I removed
from my life about five years ago and
usually when you remove them they go on
a slander campaign um you know spreading
untruthful lies about you um you know
saying things that you're doing or
actions that are taking place that
really aren't taking place and so I've
had challenges in the community you know
through my children's school um even in
some you know women's groups that I
attend where you know this narcissist
has a way of finding others like flying
monkeys or other narcissists to kind of
get their way in there and and this
narrative about you and it's very
challenging and I just how do you
coexist with people that believe their
story fed up with narcissist walking all
over you sick of everyone believing
their lies while you're paying through
the nose and attorney's fees what if you
could hold all the cards for a change
hey I'm Rebecca Zang I'm a top one%
trial attorney a USA Today best-selling
author and I've spent my entire career
helping people people slay narcissists
in negotiations most recently through my
proven slay method what if your
suffering could become your superpower
imagine turning all that pain into Power
not just for you but for others too this
is your chance to Take Back Control you
can finally win become a high conflict
negotiation certified coach help others
while transforming your own life and do
good for the world
this is your chance go to rebecca.com
slapp and I'll show you how to turn the
tables for good starting today so as you
know when you go into the discard phase
there's always the smear campaign right
that's always the birth of the smear
campaign and so there's always going to
be getting more and more Supply from you
and they're going to try to get more
Supply from you I was would say it's
sort of like at the bottom of the peanut
butter jar like they're going to look to
see is there more down there can I
scrape a little bit more down there from
the bottom of that peanut butter jar
right and um the you know I always say
as you guys know that the very first
thing that you have to do is put that
invisible shield down around you and um
as empaths we always want to um you know
we don't want to make people mad we
don't want to get people upset we don't
want to oh you know I don't want that
person to to not like me or whatever and
so we end up trying to keep the peace
and um and so and it ends up eating Us
Alive inside because we don't want to
put the boundaries up because we're
afraid people are going to get mad at us
if we do that or we're going to we're
afraid people are going to think that
we're not like able if we put the
boundaries up um and I know that
happened with me when um I ended up um
having a a Business Partnership that
didn't go the way I wanted it to um and
and the more that I tried to not have it
be a um a uh you know I wanted it to be
an amicable uh situation where we split
um it it just wasn't going to be
amicable because when you're trying to
remove yourself from that situation it's
never going to be amicable because your
supply the supply is going out the door
and so everybody in their world is going
to
be um part of that what I have found
honestly is you have to just let it go
and the people who are going to be your
people are going to be your people and
the people who are not your people are
not your people and you just have to say
stop trying to make not your people your
people and they they were going to be at
a low vibration and they're going to say
whatever they're going to say and you
just have to let that go and the people
who are your people are your
people and that's that and the higher
vibrational people will will end up
being attracted to you because that like
attracts like and lower vibrational
people will find each other and they're
gonna say whatever they're gonna say and
you're never going to be able to stop
them from saying what they're going to
say I mean you're just not
but the light comes out in the end the
truth comes out in the end and you know
I I have a saying that I I've said to
you guys in our groups that um you
know I I said to myself you know
whatever and the
whatever right and you just have to like
go not give them a thought
because you know I and you guys know
that I've often talked about Glinda the
Good Witch and the Wicked Witch and you
know she said to the wicked witch in The
Wizard of Oz go away you have no power
here right go away you have no power
here well I'm sure the wicked witch was
sitting around with the Flying Monkey
saying oh that Glenda she's awful or
whatever and you know like talking crap
about
Glenda well was Glinda worried about
what wicked witch was saying no she was
like been her she's in her power so you
just got to go whatever you know
you got to be in your Zone and be like
Teflon because they're going to do and
say whatever they're going to do and
you're not going to be able to stop them
but if you just have your coherence you
know do that coherence meditation that I
talked about and have your zone of
vibration so high
that it's like okay whatever um you know
Wayne Dyer talked about that uh at one
point where he was like talking about
how somebody was asking him about
um something when he went on a
television show and um they were going
to ask him about did you know proving if
he had done something or didn't do
something or I'm going to bring in
medical records or whatever remember
that and and he was like I don't need to
prove it whatever I'm not doing that at
this point like he didn't care because
he was here here and they were there
there and he wasn't even even going to
speak to it because he just didn't he
was over here right and it was like so
beyond him at that point that he just
didn't
even doesn't he wanted to talk about his
own other higher level things at that
point and and that's where you have have
to get to because they're going to say
whatever they're gonna say yeah and you
can't control The Narrative of one of
the things that I've learned through and
and then I will help to
is that you always want to try convince
people that you're in the truth and
they're in the wrong and it's exhausting
to do that and like you said it's like
the truth will be
revealed um and you just have to let the
forces be and let be authentic self and
that and let that speak truth and um and
I think one of the questions I do have
for you that I'm that some may not
figure out but have some answers is can
you co coexist with a community of
people that are playing on both sides
like they are friendly with you but
they're also friendly with the
narcissist you can't ever be friends or
friendly with people who are jealous of
you or smaller than you yeah you can't
that you just want to get that energy
out of you um and away from you um you
know I heard a
um a story one time and I thought it was
such a it was kind of like uh a little
bit vulgar but
so
um such a great way of putting it it's
like if you invited people over to to if
let's say you went over to somebody's
house and um it was like the best
invitation you've ever heard of like to
go to somebody's house let's say it's
Oprah's house or whatever to go swim in
their pool and and the pool was like
green and gross and whatever and you
would you'd be like I'm not getting in
that pool right but then you invited
people to your house and let's say it's
your hot tub and you like maintained it
perfectly and you had the PA and you had
like the measuring thing and you had it
pristine and you had all the whatever um
to make sure that it's perfect clean
gorgeous and then you you you let people
in and then they what do they do they
peed in it right you'd be like get the
hell out of my my hot tub oh my God but
it's the same thing because energy is
like that potent
right I mean we have we are vibrating
beings that's what we are and we are
beings of energy and so if we let that
energy in our space it can't help but
permeate us it can't help but that uh
make it make make us vibrate
lower and and
like radio waves can't join hands with
light waves and travel in the universe
together together so if you want to be a
light wave you got to let go of the of
the radio waves and move on that makes
sense yeah total sense
yeah so just wish them well but over
there
yeah you have great
analogies I
love yeah I mean you just you
don't I don't I always say you know when
it when it comes to negotiating with
narcissists that you want to look at it
agnostically you know we talk about in
the program how they were formed and
what's going on with their brain and so
we create strategies and leverage to
ethically manipulate them using their
own
behavior yeah right and and then you
move on it's really focusing on you and
your authentic power and becoming the
best version of yourself and
authentically standing in yourself it's
really not about them because they're
going to be who they are yeah yes they
will and and that's why I like your
program so because you give that that
piece of the mental strength that goes
with it to make the smart decisions so
that you're strong enough to get to that
strategy you know and that's so
important because you have you can't
have the mental strength with strategy
and you can't have the strategy without
the mental strength right so that's
what's so great about the high Contra um
training program that you
offer thank you yeah so for anybody
who's interested in becoming a high
conflict negotiation coach
the link to uh book a call with us is
rebecca.com
slay coach and um I highly recommend
that you book a call with us uh
rebecca.com
coach or we are having a uh a training
next week to learn more about it that is
next Tuesday at 10 a.m. Pacific and the
link to sign up for that is
highcon ct.com highcon
search.com I would love for you guys to
come join me on that and learn more
about the program just come learn more
about the program and um just you find
out if it's something that you want to
do um you know if you are interested in
um becoming a coach having a career that
you think might help you yourself
personally and also U be a lucrative uh
career for you then come join us next
Tuesday at 10: am or go ahead and book a
call right now so thank you Dorothy oh
this is great and I highly recommend the
program I can't wait to use it um you
know in my life life to help others with
either a career or like there's so many
things you can do with it you can have
own business you can help attorneys that
don't understand it or as you know have
it in the workplace like some of the
that I'm doing is I'm using it in the
workplace helping others navigate
through the political um toxicity that
goes on there with high conflict so
there's so many ways to use it and I'm
just so grateful for the thank you M
thank you thank you Dorothy this is so
great thank you guys all right I will
see you all super soon all right thank
you bye bye
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have a confession to make and that is
that they are way more afraid of you
than you are of them especially in court
cases mediation cases or any kind of
cases where you have to negotiate with
them but you know what I have a
confession to make too I'm sick and
tired of these people bullying you and
making you feel exhausted and paying way
too much in attorney's fees and dragging
you through the mud my name is Rebecca
zung and I'm an attorney I've been
recognized by US News as one of the best
lawyers in America and in fact I was so
syn tired of these people bullying you
that I started studying narcissism so
that I could beat them in the courtroom
and now I'm here to make the case so
that you can win too I developed a
four-part proven blueprint that has
helped tens of thousands of people take
back their freedom win and get back
their power and now I'm sharing it with
you in a special live event outsmart the
narcissist The four-part Proven Plan to
take back your power four simple steps
one free live event one free hour of
your life that's what stands between you
being in hell and you being free join me
click the link for outsmart the
narcissist the four step proven plan to
take back your power just click the link
and let's go
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