The Art of Receiving Feedback | Priti Shah | TEDxWCC

Summary

The speaker shares personal experiences about receiving feedback in challenging situations, including job interviews at General Motors and an internship at Disney. They emphasize the importance of mastering the skill of receiving feedback, viewing it as a gift for growth. The talk outlines four steps for effectively receiving and applying feedback: acknowledging the feedback, staying open to it, confirming its meaning, and taking action. The speaker encourages a mindset shift to see feedback as an opportunity for improvement and to foster a culture of open, constructive communication in all aspects of life.

Takeaways

• 💼 Confidence can leave a lasting impression, even without direct experience in a field, as seen in the speaker's interview at General Motors.
• 🎯 Mastering the ability to receive feedback is crucial to turning challenges into opportunities for personal and professional growth.
• 🤔 Feedback may not always be constructive or diplomatic, but it’s important to empower oneself to be open to others' perceptions.
• 🛠 The first step to improving from feedback is mastering the skill of receiving it openly, without immediate defensiveness.
• 🌱 The speaker's cultural and linguistic challenges shaped their growth, learning to thrive through curiosity and openness, despite early setbacks at Walt Disney.
• 🎁 Feedback is a gift—acknowledging, opening, and assessing it allows for personal development, even if the initial message feels uncomfortable.
• 🔄 The four steps to receiving feedback: 1) Acknowledge the gift, 2) Open and assess it, 3) Confirm its value, 4) Use it for improvement.
• 💬 Open dialogue and curiosity can help in understanding the true intention behind feedback, rather than rushing to defense or explanations.
• 🧠 Feedback can be either solicited or unsolicited; embracing both types helps build resilience and continuous improvement.
• 🤝 Creating a culture of open, constructive feedback enhances collaboration, trust, and positive growth in all aspects of life.

Q & A

What was the speaker’s initial reaction to feedback during their interview at General Motors?

The speaker reacted confidently to the hiring manager's question about their lack of engineering experience. Despite not having a relevant background, they declared confidently that they could do the job, which impressed the hiring team.

How did the speaker’s cultural background and upbringing affect their experience with feedback at Walt Disney?

The speaker grew up in a low-income household with illiterate parents, which challenged their communication and professional skills. Despite negative feedback at Walt Disney, they embraced a mindset of curiosity and growth, turning criticism into an opportunity to improve.

What are the four steps the speaker suggests for receiving feedback?

1. Acknowledge the gift and thank the giver. 2. Open and assess the gift by investigating the feedback. 3. Confirm the nature and value of the feedback. 4. Use the gift by taking action on the feedback.

What does the speaker mean by ‘acknowledge the gift’ in relation to feedback?

‘Acknowledge the gift’ means recognizing that the person giving feedback has something valuable to share. It involves thanking the person and approaching the feedback with a positive and open mindset.

Why does the speaker encourage staying open and asking questions when receiving feedback?

The speaker encourages openness and curiosity to fully understand the feedback. Asking questions helps to uncover the true value of the feedback and avoids defensive responses, which can block learning opportunities.

What does the speaker recommend doing if you don't agree with the feedback received?

If you don’t agree with the feedback, the speaker suggests saying thank you and setting it aside for later. You may not see its value immediately, but it could be useful in the future.

How does the speaker suggest that feedback can be non-verbal?

The speaker notes that feedback can be both tangible and intangible, such as non-verbal communication. For instance, a toddler learning to walk receives feedback from their environment (falling or running into things) that helps them adjust their behavior.

What personal growth did the speaker experience after receiving harsh feedback at Walt Disney?

Despite being told that they were not smart, sharp, or punctual, the speaker chose to learn from the feedback and delivered high-quality projects on time. This allowed them to leave the internship on favorable terms.

Why does the speaker emphasize thanking the feedback giver even when the feedback is negative?

Thanking the feedback giver, even when the feedback is negative, helps to close the feedback loop. It shows appreciation for the insight, builds trust, and fosters collaboration, even if the feedback isn’t immediately acted upon.

How can we benefit from both solicited and unsolicited feedback, according to the speaker?

The speaker advises staying open to all forms of feedback, whether solicited or unsolicited. Even unexpected feedback can offer valuable insights that contribute to personal growth and improvement.

Outlines

00:00

👋 Starting the Journey: Receiving Feedback

The speaker introduces the idea that everyone receives feedback differently and shares a personal example. When they first interviewed at General Motors, despite lacking prior engineering experience, they confidently responded to a challenging question from the hiring manager. Their assertiveness impressed the team, leading to a 12-year career at General Motors. This highlights the importance of mastering how to receive feedback and using it to create winning moments. Even when feedback seems unconstructive or incorrect, learning to handle it effectively can be empowering.

05:02

🌟 Overcoming Cultural Barriers with Feedback

The speaker recounts a tough experience at Walt Disney World where they were told they lacked sharpness and were often late. Coming from a strong cultural and low-income background, they struggled with communication skills. However, instead of feeling punished, they embraced the feedback and used their curiosity to learn and grow. This led to delivering high-quality projects and leaving on favorable terms. The speaker encourages the audience to view all feedback as a potential gift and to use it to propel themselves to success, even if it initially feels harsh.

🧠 Rethinking Feedback: Beyond Just Words

Feedback isn’t always verbal—it can be tangible or intangible. The speaker gives an example of a toddler learning to walk, who adjusts based on physical experiences. Reading books like *How to Win Friends and Influence People* can also impact how we relate to others. Through a show of hands, the speaker confirms that most people have benefited from feedback in some form. Whether in work, school, or personal life, feedback helps us learn how we impact our environment and how it impacts us.

🔑 Step-by-Step Guide to Mastering Feedback

The speaker outlines four steps for receiving feedback effectively: 1) Acknowledge the gift and thank the giver, assuming there’s value in what they share. 2) Open and assess the feedback with openness and curiosity, asking questions to uncover its value. 3) Confirm the nature of the feedback by paraphrasing it to ensure understanding. 4) Use the feedback to take action, even if that means simply acknowledging it and setting it aside for later use. The speaker stresses that mastering these steps fosters trust and helps us grow, whether the feedback is positive or negative.

🤔 Handling Tough Feedback Scenarios

The speaker presents a scenario where a peer tells you your work is awful and discusses possible responses. They encourage the audience to choose from options like seeking to understand the peer’s viewpoint, showing vulnerability by admitting a desire to improve, or simply thanking the peer. The speaker suggests that all responses, except defensiveness, are valid. They emphasize the importance of creating a culture of open feedback and invite the audience to have conversations with those around them to encourage compassionate and intuitive feedback sharing.

🚀 Building a Culture of Open Feedback

The speaker concludes by encouraging the audience to think about how they can create a culture of open feedback in their lives. This is just the beginning of their journey toward embracing feedback as a tool for personal and professional growth. By having open discussions with others and being receptive to feedback in all its forms, they can improve the quality of their daily lives. The message is that feedback, even when unsolicited, is a gift that can help propel individuals toward greater success.

Keywords

💡Feedback

Feedback refers to the information received from others regarding one's performance, behavior, or actions. In the video, feedback is positioned as a tool for personal growth, whether it comes in the form of criticism or praise. The speaker emphasizes that mastering the skill of receiving feedback allows individuals to grow, regardless of how that feedback is delivered.

💡Confidence

Confidence is highlighted when the speaker discusses how they impressed the hiring team at General Motors by asserting their capability, even without direct engineering experience. Confidence is framed as a crucial element in navigating challenges, particularly when responding to feedback or judgment from others.

💡Curiosity

Curiosity is described as a mindset that helps individuals learn from their surroundings and feedback, even if the feedback is harsh. The speaker attributes their ability to turn around criticism at Walt Disney World to their curiosity and willingness to explore what can be learned from negative feedback.

💡Cultural Background

The speaker touches on their cultural background as a first-generation American and how it impacted their professional journey. This background, including their parents' limited English proficiency, shaped the challenges they faced, especially in communication and professional settings. It illustrates how personal history can influence one’s ability to receive and interpret feedback.

💡Professional Growth

Professional growth is a key theme, where the speaker reflects on their experiences at General Motors and Walt Disney World, showing how feedback, even if critical, contributed to their career development. It underscores the notion that negative feedback can be a springboard for long-term success if approached with the right mindset.

💡Communication Skills

Communication skills are central to the speaker’s experiences, particularly in overcoming the challenges presented by their upbringing. At Disney, their ability to turn feedback into improvement was partially due to their focus on refining these skills. The video underscores that communication is essential for both receiving and responding to feedback effectively.

💡Receiving Feedback

Receiving feedback is the main skill being discussed. The speaker explains that receiving feedback involves openness, humility, and curiosity, rather than defensiveness. They offer a four-step process to receive feedback effectively: acknowledging the gift, opening and assessing the gift, confirming the value, and using the gift.

💡Empowerment

Empowerment in the video refers to how receiving feedback can enhance one's ability to improve and grow. By embracing feedback as a gift, individuals empower themselves to see beyond criticism and use the information to foster personal and professional development.

💡Openness

Openness is a recurring concept, advocating for an open mind when receiving feedback. The speaker suggests that feedback, whether constructive or not, contains value that can only be discovered through openness and inquiry. Openness helps individuals see feedback as a learning opportunity rather than a personal attack.

💡Non-verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication is discussed in the context of feedback that isn't always expressed through words. The speaker provides the example of a toddler learning to walk and receiving feedback through the experience of falling, showing how feedback can be tangible and physical rather than just verbal. This expands the understanding of how feedback can be received in multiple forms.

Highlights

Feedback can be received in various ways, and confidence plays a big role in how we react to it.

Even without direct engineering experience, confidence helped the speaker secure a job at General Motors.

Receiving feedback can sometimes feel uncomfortable or incorrect, but mastering it leads to growth.

Feedback comes in different forms, both verbal and non-verbal.

Personal story of facing challenging feedback at Walt Disney World, but using it to fuel professional growth.

Learning from hardship or criticism can be key to future success.

Feedback is not always delivered diplomatically, but it can still offer valuable lessons.

The four steps to mastering feedback: acknowledge, open, confirm, and use the feedback.

It's important not to fear feedback but to stay curious and ask questions.

Feedback can be tangible or intangible, like the example of a toddler learning to walk.

Acknowledging the feedback giver and expressing gratitude is the first step.

Implementing feedback through action shows growth and strengthens relationships.

How to handle both positive and negative feedback without defensiveness.

Cultural background and communication challenges can influence how feedback is received.

Feedback helps develop self-awareness and can propel you towards success.

Transcripts

good morning

so all of us receive feedback

differently

here's an example of how I have received

feedback when I was first hiring into

General Motors almost 12 years ago

so even though I didn't have even though

I studied engineering my previous

position was not related to the

engineering field at all so when I was

in the interview with the General Motors

hiring manager he asked me why anyone

would hire me with no prior engineering

experience

so I declared to him very confidently

saying because I know I can do the job

so

because of my confidence and ability to

react to his question assertively I

impressed the hiring team and have been

employed with General Motors for almost

12 years

so

look at your life and see how you can

react to feedback

how can you create winning moments in

your own life by mastering the ability

to receive feedback

sometimes information coming at us may

not feel that it's credible or that it's

based on inaccurate information or the

theater advice will do you more harm

than good

feedback may not be diplomatic or

constructive at times however with the

right tools we can Empower ourselves to

receive this type of information

and be more inclusive of others

perceptions of ourselves

because in order to receive feedback or

science or give feedback the first step

is to be able to master the skill at

receiving feedback

so I'll give you an example of when I

first experienced the pixie death of

Disney

so even though I'm in a first generation

american-born citizen due to my very

strong cultural and low-income

upbringing and the illiteracy of my

parents English is my second language

so it's first drastically challenged on

my communication and professional skills

with my first professional employer Walt

Disney World in Orlando Florida

the leaders at the time told me that I'm

not smart I'm not sharp and I'm late all

the time

so I had a choice at this time either I

can see the situation as though I'm

being punished or that I can learn and

grow from it since while my parents did

not teach me the communication skills I

needed they did teach me to be curious

and open and try to learn as much as I

can out of every moment for that reason

I was able to turn the criticism around

and deliver high quality projects on

time leaving my internship on very

favorable terms with my leaders and

peers so I challenge you to take the

same action for yourself and how you can

see the advantage of the information of

that's around you as a gift

I guarantee when you start doing this

you'll see that everything surrounding

you has a benefit and goodness because

at the end of the day the things that

bring you hardship are the very same

things that Propel you to success

so I'd like to level set and how we

think of feedback since traditionally

it's more thought of just as dialogue in

feedback forms however feedback could be

tangible or intangible with non-verbal

Communications as well so for example

if toddler learning to walk maybe the

toddler runs into a wall or Falls and

they they have to condition themselves

to to feel that feedback tangibly to

figure out how to get from point A to

point B or reading a book like How to

Win Friends and Influence People

and that might influence impact us on

how we interact with the people around

us

so with our show of hands how many of

you would say that that feedback has

helped you improve at work school at

home or other environments

yeah yeah for most of us if not all of

us have benefited from feedback

since feedback can be tangible and

tangible with uh just observation

whether how that environment impacts you

and how you impact that environment

so let's look at these four steps on how

we can receive feedback to help us even

improve our lives even more so step

number one acknowledge the gift thank

the giver assume the giver has something

of value

to share with you step number two open

open an assess the gift investigate with

the with the messengers trying to say if

you don't open the package of the of the

message and fear it due to thinking that

you might be Bamboozled with with what

they're trying to tell you you'll never

receive the reward and what they're

trying to tell you so instead try to

come from a place of openness and

curiosity and ask questions such as

where's the value and what they're

saying where's the gift here

what can I learn from what they're

saying what did I say or do that might

have created any misperception

what can I do to ensure the feedback is

addressed and try to stay open just keep

asking the questions until you discover

what they're trying to tell you and try

not to defend or explain yourself

because once you start doing that you

lose the opportunity to find the true

reward and what they're trying to tell

you

step number three confirm the nature and

the value of the gift put into words

what you understood the message that's

trying to tell you and ask if you

understood it correctly this really

helps the other person feel understood

and less defensive on their end

step number four use the gift take

action if you can see the value and what

they're trying to tell you

let's give her a no and it doesn't have

to be through direct dialogue it can

just feed through implemented behaviors

or some way to show how that feedback

has made a positive impact on you and if

you don't accept what they're trying to

say you can still just say thank you and

put on the shelf and set it aside you

might use it later you don't know this

closing of the loop with the feedback

messenger really helps establish trust

collaboration and partnership and these

four steps can be used for gaining from

any type of feedback whether it's

criticism or positive feedback some

people have a hard time receiving

positive feedback and have a hard time

just saying thank you without

explanation so these four steps can be

used for any any type of feedback so

sometimes feedback is not given just

informal settings sometimes it's given

to us just as information and catches us

off guard so let's try to think of ways

how we can receive solicited or

unsolicited feedback and let's talk

through a scenario here

so the scenario here is where a peer

tells you nicely your work is awful and

this peer could be a roommate it's

telling you that you're the way you fold

your socks is terrible or your or your

classmate is telling you that your

portion of a team project

is is inaccurate it was it was not done

right or that your boss tells you that

the promotion that you've always wanted

you're not ready for so how would you

respond to that

and you can you know choose more than

one option whatever resonates with you

by show of the handsome we'll go through

this one by one so how many of you would

choose a

I'd like to I'd like to understand your

Viewpoint as a response to this scenario

yeah since I'm sure of hands

how many of you would choose B I wanna

I've been wanting to improve on this

yeah showing some vulnerability there

and then how about C thank you for

making it making me aware of this yeah

so

and then how about D why are you the Way

You Are

so of course all of these are acceptable

for receiving the gift and feedback

except for maybe the last one I

appreciate everyone's honesty

so think about how you might implement

this into your life how can we create

this culture of open feedback I would

encourage you to talk to the people that

are close to you and share your thoughts

and ideas around this

this is really just the start of your

journey and exploring feedback and

igniting the conversation of how we can

compassionately and intuitively receive

the information around us to help us

improve our daily lives and and just the

quality of our life thank you so much

foreign

[Applause]