How To Navigate The Lonely Chapter (Men Aged 18-25)

Summary

The video discusses the journey of self-improvement, particularly for young men. It addresses the challenges of choosing between a familiar, pleasure-seeking lifestyle or embracing uncertainty to pursue growth. The speaker emphasizes the importance of mindset, surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals, and cutting out habits that hinder progress. He encourages persistence and patience, acknowledging that the journey can feel lonely, but ultimately leads to a better, more fulfilling life. The message is aimed at helping viewers navigate their own self-development journey and stay focused on long-term goals.

Takeaways

• 💪 Young men on self-improvement journeys often face uncertainty, not knowing exactly where they belong.
• 🔙 There are two options: return to old habits or keep moving forward with self-improvement, despite the discomfort.
• ⏳ The self-improvement phase is a sustained period that can last from 1 to 5 years or more, depending on when the journey begins.
• 🚶 This journey often feels lonely, as many around you may not share the same goals or mindset.
• 🤔 It's natural to face uncertainty and moments of doubt, but it's essential to push through for long-term growth.
• 🧠 Mindset change is critical, shifting from negativity and self-doubt to positivity and taking control of one's life.
• 👥 Surrounding oneself with people who are ahead in the journey, such as older individuals or mentors, can provide valuable insights.
• ✂️ Cutting out old habits and activities that no longer serve personal growth is crucial to achieving new goals.
• 🌱 Self-belief and preparing oneself for the next level are vital to attracting the desired life and relationships.
• 📅 Patience and persistence are key throughout the self-development journey, as results may take months or even years to manifest.

Q & A

What are the two options a young man faces during his self-improvement journey?

He can either return to his previous life, seeking short-term pleasure, or continue down a path of uncertainty and personal growth, despite the challenges.

Why might some young men feel uncertain during their self-improvement journey?

Many young men face uncertainty because they are unsure of where they belong or what they want to achieve, while observing that others around them may not share their goals or interests.

What does the speaker suggest about returning to old habits and relationships?

The speaker warns that going back to old habits, such as spending time with old friends or partners who no longer align with one's values, can lead to dissatisfaction and hinder personal growth.

Why does the speaker emphasize mindset in the self-improvement journey?

Mindset is crucial because a negative outlook can trap individuals in mediocrity. The speaker stresses shifting to a positive mindset, taking control, and reprogramming old beliefs to make progress.

What advice does the speaker offer for finding the right social circles?

The speaker suggests seeking out people who are further along the journey, whether older or more experienced, and learning from them to gain valuable life insights and inspiration.

How does the speaker describe the influence of old friends and bad habits on self-improvement?

Old friends and bad habits may hold someone back from reaching their full potential, especially if these activities no longer align with their goals. The speaker advises cutting ties with behaviors that do not support growth.

Why does the speaker believe patience and persistence are essential during self-improvement?

Progress is often delayed, and results from hard work may not appear for months or years. Patience and persistence are necessary to endure this lag and stay committed to long-term goals.

How does the speaker view uncertainty in the self-improvement process?

Uncertainty is an inevitable part of the journey, and while uncomfortable, it is necessary for personal growth. Embracing this uncertainty helps individuals position themselves for future success.

What is the speaker’s stance on living a conventional life versus pursuing personal growth?

The speaker acknowledges that living a conventional life is fine for those who find fulfillment in it, but suggests that for those on a self-improvement journey, it may not be enough to bring lasting satisfaction.

What role does changing beliefs play in achieving a better life, according to the speaker?

Changing deeply ingrained beliefs, often instilled by parents or society, is essential to break free from limiting patterns and achieve a life aligned with one's true desires and goals.

Outlines

00:00

🚀 The Fork in the Road of Self-Improvement

This paragraph explores the dilemma faced by young men on the path of self-improvement. They have two options: return to their past lifestyles, filled with familiar yet unfulfilling activities like hanging out with friends, drinking, and working a disliked job, or continue down an uncertain path of personal growth. The speaker reflects on how many struggle with feeling out of place, questioning why others aren't pursuing the same progress. This phase of uncertainty is a common experience for men aged 18-30, and the speaker admits to being in this stage himself, emphasizing that it is a necessary part of the journey toward achieving personal goals.

05:02

💡 Positioning Yourself for Success

This section addresses the importance of mindset in overcoming the challenges of self-improvement. The speaker shares personal insights on hitting a 'ceiling' in life, where despite hard work, results aren't immediately visible. They emphasize the time lag between effort and rewards, suggesting that this delay can be demotivating. The speaker reflects on how shifting from a negative to a positive mindset was crucial in their transformation, rejecting the belief that life’s hardships are uncontrollable. The key takeaway is that a strong, positive mindset, built through meditation and reflection, is essential for breaking free from societal conditioning and achieving a fulfilling life.

10:03

🌱 Building a Supportive Network

The speaker discusses the value of surrounding oneself with individuals who are further along in their self-improvement journey. This can include older, wiser people or peers who have achieved more. These individuals can provide valuable lessons, helping one grow and avoid the traps of negative influences from old friends or unproductive activities. The speaker encourages letting go of ego and learning from others, acknowledging that people naturally gravitate towards those who add value to their lives. By doing this, one can have deeper, more meaningful conversations and gain experiences that contribute to personal growth.

✂️ Cutting Out Unproductive Habits

This paragraph stresses the importance of cutting ties with habits and activities that no longer serve one’s goals. The speaker advises that as one progresses on their self-improvement journey, they must reduce involvement in past behaviors that don't align with their future aspirations. Whether it’s fitness, career, or relationships, the need for clarity on personal goals is emphasized. The speaker highlights that individuals who are already at the level you aim to reach will not associate with people engaging in counterproductive activities. Therefore, it's essential to feel deserving of a higher level of life and to believe in one’s worthiness to achieve it.

💪 Persistence and Patience in Self-Improvement

The speaker concludes by addressing the importance of persistence and patience in navigating the difficult, often lonely, chapter of self-improvement. They acknowledge how challenging it can be for young men, particularly in today’s world filled with distractions and poor advice. The speaker shares their own experience with these struggles and offers encouragement to avoid vices, stay focused, and use the advice from the video to move forward. They offer coaching services to help with mindset and belief adjustments, which they believe are key to overcoming the hardest parts of the self-improvement journey.

Keywords

💡Self-Improvement Journey

This refers to the personal process of striving for growth and improvement in various aspects of life, such as health, mindset, career, and relationships. In the video, the speaker talks about the challenges young men face during their self-improvement journey, highlighting the difficulty of navigating through uncertainty and breaking away from old habits and social circles.

💡Uncertainty

Uncertainty is the feeling of not knowing what the future holds or where one's path will lead. The speaker emphasizes that this is a common and inevitable aspect of self-development, especially for young men. He mentions how this uncertainty can cause doubt and fear but stresses the importance of continuing down the self-improvement path despite it.

💡Mindset

Mindset refers to one's mental attitude and approach to life and challenges. The video highlights the transformation from a negative mindset, where the individual feels powerless and blames external factors, to a positive mindset that empowers the person to take control of their life. This shift is essential for progress in the self-improvement journey.

💡Breaking Free

Breaking free refers to the process of distancing oneself from old, unfulfilling habits, social circles, and lifestyles that no longer align with one's self-improvement goals. The speaker reflects on the need to move away from people who discourage or mock positive changes, like going to the gym or avoiding destructive habits such as excessive drinking and clubbing.

💡Tribal Mentality

Tribal mentality is the natural human inclination to seek belonging and acceptance within a group. The speaker points out that while this tendency is normal, it can hold people back from self-improvement if they conform to the lifestyle and behaviors of peers who are not on the same path. Breaking away from this mentality is often a necessary step in personal growth.

💡Lagging Time

Lagging time refers to the delay between the effort put into self-improvement and the visible results of that effort. The speaker discusses how the progress from hard work may not be immediately evident, and one might not see the fruits of their labor until months or even years later. This concept underscores the importance of patience and persistence.

💡Conditioning

Conditioning is the process by which beliefs, habits, and behaviors are shaped by external influences, such as family, society, and media. In the video, the speaker explains how many people live their lives according to the conditioning they received, which often leads them to follow a 'script' rather than pursuing their authentic desires. Overcoming this conditioning is key to creating a life aligned with personal goals.

💡Vices and Distractions

Vices and distractions refer to the temptations and unhealthy behaviors that derail progress on the self-improvement journey, such as excessive drinking, chasing pleasure, or wasting time on unproductive activities. The speaker acknowledges the difficulty of avoiding these distractions in modern society but encourages viewers to steer clear of them to stay focused on their goals.

💡Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is a belief that positive or negative thoughts bring corresponding positive or negative experiences into one's life. The speaker mentions that by feeling and believing that one is worthy of success, they can attract the right circumstances and people into their life. This concept ties into the broader theme of mindset and how one's thoughts shape their reality.

💡Older Mentors

Older mentors are individuals who have more life experience and can offer guidance and wisdom to those on a self-improvement path. The speaker advocates for spending time with people who are ahead in life—whether in fitness, career, or relationships—as their insights can help accelerate personal growth. These relationships are portrayed as more enriching than shallow interactions with peers who aren't pursuing similar goals.

Highlights

A young man starting a self-improvement journey faces uncertainty about where he belongs.

He has two options: go back to his old life of comfort and pleasures, or continue on the path of uncertainty and growth.

The period of uncertainty can last several years, and it’s a necessary phase in the journey of self-improvement.

It's important to position oneself well during this period to ensure success when breaking through.

Progress is not immediate, and the results of hard work may not show for months or even years.

Mindset is the most crucial factor in navigating this journey, especially shifting from a negative to a positive mindset.

Societal conditioning and beliefs can limit personal growth, and breaking free from these is key to achieving more.

Spending time with people who are more advanced, in fitness, career, or life, can accelerate personal development.

Cutting out old habits and activities that no longer serve personal growth is necessary for advancement.

Surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals can provide valuable life lessons and support along the way.

Patience and persistence are essential qualities for success in the self-improvement journey.

Law of Attraction: One must believe they are already deserving and worthy of achieving their goals.

The journey is often lonely, but it’s essential to stay the course, as the desired outcome will come with persistence.

The speaker empathizes with the struggle, noting the increasing difficulty young men face due to modern distractions and poor advice.

Final advice: Focus on mindset and beliefs, and use practical strategies to navigate this difficult but rewarding journey.

Transcripts

any young man who starts his

selfimprovement journey is likely to go

through a period of sustained

unknown not knowing exactly where he

belongs this man this young man has two

options he can go back to where he was

before he can go back with the boys from

school go out for beers on the weekend

get back with his girlfriend who he

doesn't even like doesn't respect go

back to a job he hates and he can seek a

very pleasure seeking life or he can go

down the other path you can keep going

down a path of

uncertainty figuring it all out not

knowing exactly what and where he is

aiming for making progression and

looking around at the people around him

and just

thinking why is everyone else not doing

the same thing as

me this chapter could be virtually

anyone from the age of 18 to 25 or even

30 years old this has been me and I

would say it still is to some degree

and I don't think it is likely that you

will be able to navigate your journey of

self-development finding yourself going

from kind of a state of mediocracy to

something actually that you wanted to

achieve in your life without going

through this chapter so I think the best

thing you can do is position yourself

very well so that when you come out of

this chapter of your life you're in a

very good position to kick on and get to

where you want to be you don't want this

chapter to be any longer drawn out than

necessary because it's already a

sustained period as I mentioned it could

be it could be one year for you it could

be 3 years it could be 5 years it

probably depends exactly when you start

your journey there's 16 year olds on

self-improvement maybe maybe you're one

of them which which is crazy by the way

I think being 16 and and being on

self-improvement I have a lot of respect

for that but yeah it kind of shows the

state of the world and Society we are

living in in in this day but if you are

around this age 18 19 it's likely going

to be a few years of you kind of not

really knowing you have your kind of

friends from school and you started

going to the gym and they they laugh at

you and think why why why is he doing

this he doesn't need to do this we're

we're not doing it why doesn't he just

come out come into town with the boys

have a few beers go to the clubs do all

of that and I I've done that anyway

I've done that myself and it wasn't

fulfilling it was never me it's never

what I really wanted to do but I

followed the crowd I wanted to fit in

and I'm sure you feel like this with we

all go through this period we all want

to fit in we're tribal creatures it's

natural for us to feel like this but we

all kind of have this thing in the back

of the M our minds we have we we're just

different to to the ordinary people out

there that just are okay with living

like this and there's nothing wrong with

these people at all it it's fine to live

along those lines it's it's fine to live

that life if that's authentic to you if

that if that's your goal to kind of live

that lifestyle of just working your job

and then and going out on the weekend

and living that kind of

like you know it it can be a great life

for a lot of people but I know for me

and I know for you probably watching

this that's not going to get you out of

bed in the morning that's not going to

be at the end of the day you're not

going to look back and be like you know

I really enjoyed my day and I've tried

to live that lifestyle and you probably

have two and it's it's not so you have

to go through this period where everyone

else around you isn't isn't doing the

things you want to do everyone doesn't

want to do what you want to do it's a

weekend today and you know I'd much

prefer to be spending it with a girl or

something or traveling to a nice city

over the weekend and doing something you

know going for coffee going for nice

food doing that type of thing whereas a

lot of people around my age would would

prefer to go for drinks go to the clubs

chase women doing a lot of other things

that would have no appeal in in my life

whatsoever and you probably can relate

to this CU I know there's a large large

group of young guys and young women even

that feel the same way that a lot of

people around them aren't doing the

things that they want to do anymore and

they kind of want to break free from

that but they they don't want to leave

their old friends and they don't really

have anyone else to go to but the only

option is for you to go through this

journey alone for the time being and

like I say there's that that uncertainty

and we don't like that uncertainty as

human beings we want to have everything

figured out we want to have an end goal

when when is this going to end when it's

like it's like I could push you under

water and and and give you say a 3

minutes you would hold your breath for 3

minutes if I push you under water and

just said hold your hold your breath for

as long as you can like that's a lot

worse and and you'd end up struggling

because there's that uncertainty that it

might never really end you just have to

know that you will come back out of the

water you will push your head back up

and and have a better life after that

and I think that's something that you

have to remember is that it will end and

you have to be on that journey and be

enjoying the journey every single day I

think to go through that uncertainty

because I get it it's not nice there

days where I myself think in terms back

and be like maybe I should just do those

other things and maybe they'll that that

that's good enough for me but I know

deep down there's a lot more that I want

and there's a lot more I can achieve so

it's unfair to myself to to to live this

lifestyle so how exactly could you

position yourself you might feel right

now that you are on the brink of a

better life you are on the brink of kind

of breaking through the ceiling so to

speak you've kind of hit a ceiling with

your current life that your current

environment the current people around

you and you're kind of like I know I'm

I'm there I'm like really pushing I'm

doing a lot of things that other people

aren't doing but I'm just kind of like

not seeing the kind of outputs in my

life that I would really expect with the

work I'm putting in and as I explained

previously there's always a lagging time

that will mean that you won't see the

results from the work you're putting in

till 3 months 6 months even a year later

down the line so for me in in my whole

journey the biggest thing has been

mindset and changing my mindset from a

very negative mindset thinking the worst

thinking how life was so unfair and that

I was just depressed and I should just

accept that I I actually had that

mindset you might think that's extreme

but I honestly thought I was depressed

and it wasn't my fault it it was

completely out of my control I always

thought like that but I completely

changed my mindset everything's in my

control and you have to change this

mindset to being a negative one to a

positive one I know it's not easy I'm

I'm not just saying you know you can do

this overnight it takes medit ation on

this to to truly figure out that person

you need to become for a better life and

changing that mindset and your beliefs

also are going to be the key Catalyst to

a better life you have to change this if

you're holding on to beliefs that have

been pushed on to you from your parents

from society from social media you've

been conditioned this way and most

likely we all have I've been there and

it's still taking me time to kind of

reprogram my own mind and hold on to

beliefs that actually better my life and

lot of us don't have that unfortunately

we hold on to the beliefs and a lot of

people we all kind of live the same life

our parents have lived and and we don't

really go on to achieve anything more

because we've been conditioned in a way

to believe a set script and we should

follow that and to go out of line is is

risky and we don't know what's there on

the other side but I've I've learned

through years of of being on

self-improvement from this journey that

there is more to life and I want to live

a certain type of Lifestyle I don't want

to be like a lot of people around here

that's why we get onto self-improvement

that's why you're watching watching this

video that's why I made this channel

that's why I find strength in in other

influencers that have achieved more from

the the kind of status quo lifestyle and

another thing that I would highly

recommend that you do is that you got to

put yourself out there you got to put

yourself out there with older people or

even people around you that maybe you

see them and then you're like you know

what he's actually doing really well I

would quite like to be on his level

whatever that may be maybe in terms of

his his his Fitness progress maybe in

terms of you know his career his his

finances or he's got like he might have

a really good relationship he might it

whether that be an intimate relationship

or he's got a really good set of circles

you always kind of see him like see him

around the gym you see him out and about

and he's having a laugh with his friends

and you're like you know what that guy

must have something that I don't so

maybe I should go spend some time with

him that's something that I I've kind of

learned you know just drop the ego and

be like this person can actually you

know offer me something in my life this

person can you know we are all selfish

creatures and you have to accept that

that is the case and you kind of have to

look at him and be like what can this

guy kind of teach me and what what what

can I gain from spending time with this

person cuz that's what we all do if we

if we didn't feel that way we wouldn't

spend time with anyone and whether

whether you think that's true whether

you want to admit that it is you

wouldn't want to spend time you wouldn't

choose to spend time with someone who

drains from your life who offs negative

into your life there must be something

there that you kind of feel like that so

I would highly recommend trying to find

people especially a bit older than you

who maybe the next step on from you you

can get this through coaching if you

can't find it in your personal life but

obviously I think if you can find those

people in your personal life that you

can spend one-on-one time with or even

in a group and kind of gain like real

world experience from then that would be

majorly beneficial to your life um and I

think you'll have a lot better

conversations because they going to be

on a different wavelength say if this

guy's 35 40 or or a woman or whoever it

may be they're going to have better

conversations it's not going to be all

about you know just getting drunk and

and having like kind of silly

conversations that you don't even want

to talk about you're going to feel a lot

better having those conversations and

you're going to learn so much that it's

going to be worth it to weit in gold and

over time you'll really start to

appreciate that that's something I've

learned from spending time with older

people or even people around my age who

are just just ahead of the game for

whatever reason that that there are

quite a few people that I've learned who

who I've met of obviously from my

journey they've seen what I've done I've

seen what they've done and naturally

we're going to be attracted to each

other because we're both on the same

journey and you can find those people

they are out there and it's going to

take time and you have to accept that

it's being persistent and it's being

patient which is the key thing that a

lot of people don't have in this in

certain journey and then you've just got

to cut and significantly reduce all

these activities and habits that you

used to do with your old friends that

aren't offering you any to the your life

whatever your goals may be I'm not I'm

not saying you have to have a a set way

of goals whether that be Fitness your

career your relationships everything in

that you want in life you have to be

clear to what you want and find

activities find habits that will

actually offer Ben be beneficial to that

and if they're not you know you you have

to cut those things out of your life

because they're not going to get you

that that person that your future self

you're not going to associate with those

activities and those bad habits that you

used to do anymore so you you need to

cut them out because people who who are

on that level already you see what I

mean they're not going to want to

associate with that and you've got to

prepare yourself like you've got to feel

and believe that you are worthy of being

that level you got to feel it inside of

yourself that's a big way of how Law of

Attraction all works you have to feel it

and believe that you are ready for that

level you're already at that level now

and hopefully that that that will truly

change your life and and get you through

this kind of lonely chapter that we all

go through and I know it's very

difficult so hopefully this video has

been off some value to you and if it has

I'd really appreciate your feedback

leave a like And subscribe to this

channel I know I know it's a very

difficult Journey for a lot of young men

it's become harder and harder as time's

gone on there's a lot of vices there's a

lot of distractions out there there's a

lot of very poor advice um so yeah try

and stay clear of all that I know I do

and I know I get dragged into it

sometimes but yeah if you can stay clear

of that and navigate it and hopefully

use some of this advice practically you

will have a better life and hopefully

you can get to that next stage wherever

that is for you and and you can live

that life that you've always desired

whatever that may be like I say that

that's down to you if you need any more

help especially on your mindset and your

beliefs which I know is the biggest

thing that I really struggled with when

I was younger that I really could have

done with when I was 18 19 years old my

one to one post personal coaching link

will be below and I'll see you in the

next video take care