the 10 laws of self obsession

Summary

In the final episode of season 3, the host reflects on the '10 Laws of Self-Obsession' that encapsulate the season's lessons on self-love and personal growth. She emphasizes the importance of independence in relationships, selective friendships, embracing failure, and living an extraordinary life. The host also discusses the significance of letting go of the past, embracing change, building confidence, protecting personal energy, and taking control of one's happiness. As she prepares for a break before season 4, she encourages her audience to continue on their self-obsessed journey, promising more insights and growth in the upcoming season.

Takeaways

• 🎙️ The podcast episode marks the end of season 3 and introduces the '10 Laws of Self-Obsession', which are unique to each season and encapsulate the lessons learned.
• 🎬 The host reflects on the journey of the podcast's growth, including the transition to video content and the challenges faced in stepping out of her comfort zone.
• 📚 The host encourages listeners to use the break between seasons to engage with her self-love book, which provides further insights and practical actions for personal growth.
• 🧘‍♀️ 'Law 1' emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence in relationships, advocating for a balance where one's identity is not lost within a partnership.
• 👭 'Law 2' discusses the need for selectivity in friendships, suggesting that the quality of relationships is more important than their quantity for personal development.
• 🌟 'Law 3' motivates listeners to strive for an extraordinary life by embracing habits and mindset shifts that align with their highest aspirations.
• 🚀 'Law 4' encourages embracing failure as a stepping stone to success, promoting a mindset where failures are seen as necessary for growth and learning.
• 💔 'Law 5' speaks about detaching from the past, suggesting that while it's okay to reminisce, one should not dwell on past experiences to the detriment of present opportunities.
• 🔄 'Law 6' highlights the importance of embracing change and being open to new seasons in life, as a means of personal evolution and growth.
• 🏋️‍♀️ 'Law 7' underscores the significance of discipline and commitment in forming habits that lead to personal transformation.
• 📈 'Law 8' addresses the concept of building confidence, suggesting that it's a choice and an internal dialogue that counters societal beauty standards and insecurities.
• 🛡️ 'Law 9' focuses on protecting one's energy by setting boundaries, observing rather than absorbing negativity, and disengaging from one-sided relationships.
• 🎉 'Law 10', the bonus law, centers on taking control of one's happiness by intentionally incorporating joyful activities into daily life, regardless of external circumstances.

Q & A

What are the '10 Laws of Self-Obsession' mentioned in the podcast episode?

The '10 Laws of Self-Obsession' are principles that summarize the lessons learned throughout the season and provide guidance for self-improvement. They include maintaining independence, being selective with friends, living an extraordinary life, embracing failure, detaching from the past, embracing change, setting habits, balancing planning and action, building confidence, and protecting your energy.

How does the podcast host emphasize the importance of independence in relationships?

The host stresses that true self-love involves setting boundaries and maintaining your individuality even while in a relationship. It's about living three lives: your own, your partner's, and the one you build together, without losing your sense of self.

What does the host mean by 'becoming selective with the people you call friends'?

The host suggests that not everyone can align with your personal growth and that it's crucial to be discerning about who you allow into your life. She believes that the company you keep influences your mindset and lifestyle, so it's important to associate with people who uplift and inspire you.

How does the host view failure in the context of personal growth?

The host encourages embracing failure as a stepping stone to success. She believes that failure is not a personal attack but an essential part of the journey to growth and self-improvement.

What is the significance of detaching from the past according to the podcast episode?

Detaching from the past means not dwelling on past memories or experiences with guilt or shame. It's about appreciating the journey and the person you've become as a result of those experiences, without letting them define your present or future.

Why is embracing change and new seasons in life important as per the podcast?

Embracing change is crucial because it allows for personal growth and the opportunity to explore new paths that might lead to greater fulfillment. It's about being flexible and open to new experiences that can redirect you towards a more abundant life.

How does the host define an extraordinary person?

An extraordinary person, according to the host, is someone who goes beyond the norm, sets high standards for themselves and their relationships, and actively works on personal development to achieve their full potential.

What role do habits play in becoming self-obsessed as discussed in the podcast?

Habits are essential for personal transformation. They require discipline, commitment, and intention. The host suggests that mastering one habit can lead to increased confidence and discipline in other areas of life.

How does the host suggest balancing planning and action for effective personal development?

The host recommends planning in stages and taking action after each phase of planning. This approach prevents over-planning, which can lead to inaction and maintains momentum towards achieving goals.

What is the importance of confidence in the self-obsession laws, and how can one build it?

Confidence is crucial as it allows individuals to overcome insecurities and embrace their self-worth. The host suggests that confidence is a choice and can be built by giving oneself permission to be confident and by challenging societal beauty standards.

How does the host advise protecting your energy in the context of self-obsession?

The host advises protecting your energy by observing rather than absorbing negativity, disengaging from one-sided relationships, and being mindful of when and how you engage your emotions. This helps maintain inner peace and happiness.

What is the final law of self-obsession discussed in the podcast episode?

The final law of self-obsession is taking control of your happiness. The host encourages finding ways to incorporate joy and magic into daily life, focusing on activities that bring happiness, and giving oneself permission to be happy.

Outlines

00:00

🎙️ Podcast Season Finale and Self-Obsession Laws

The speaker welcomes the audience to the final episode of season 3 of her podcast, which focuses on the '10 Laws of Self-Obsession'. She reflects on the journey of the podcast's growth, including the transition to video content in season 3. The host expresses excitement for the upcoming season 4 and encourages listeners to continue their self-improvement journey. She also promotes her self-love book as a resource for personal growth during the break until the next season.

05:02

👫 Maintaining Independence in Relationships

The speaker discusses the importance of maintaining personal independence even while in a relationship. She shares her experiences and emphasizes that self-love does not mean isolation but includes setting boundaries and standards in relationships. The speaker advises listeners to balance their individual lives, their partner's life, and the life they build together, ensuring they do not lose their identity in the process.

10:03

🌟 Becoming an Extraordinary Person

The speaker stresses the need to live an extraordinary life by being an extraordinary person. She encourages listeners to avoid comparing themselves to others and to embrace their unique path. The speaker also talks about the importance of not fearing failure but instead viewing it as a stepping stone to success. She introduces the concept of 'falling in love with your failures' as a way to motivate personal growth and development.

15:04

🔓 Embracing Change and New Beginnings

The speaker talks about the importance of embracing change and being open to new experiences. She advocates for flexibility and the willingness to try new things, even when it involves stepping out of one's comfort zone. The speaker also discusses the value of learning from past experiences and using them as lessons for personal growth, rather than dwelling on them.

20:05

💪 Building Confidence and Protecting Energy

The speaker emphasizes the importance of building confidence and protecting one's energy. She discusses the idea that confidence is a choice and that insecurities are learned behaviors. The speaker also talks about the need to protect one's energy by observing rather than absorbing negativity, and by setting boundaries in relationships that are one-sided or draining.

25:06

🎉 Taking Control of Your Happiness

In the final paragraph, the speaker focuses on the importance of taking control of one's happiness. She shares her personal practice of incorporating joyful activities into her daily life and encourages listeners to do the same. The speaker concludes the season by thanking her audience for their support and looks forward to reconnecting in the next season.

Keywords

💡Self-obsession

Self-obsession, as used in the podcast, refers to an intense focus on self-improvement and personal growth. It is not a negative narcissism but rather a positive and proactive approach to loving oneself and taking care of one's mental and emotional well-being. The host emphasizes that self-obsession is about setting high standards for oneself and striving to be extraordinary, which is a central theme of the podcast.

💡Independence

Independence in the context of the podcast is about maintaining one's individuality and self-reliance even within the confines of a relationship. The host stresses the importance of not losing oneself in a partnership and continuing to nurture one's own growth and interests. It is about finding a balance where one can be part of a 'we' while still honoring their 'me'.

💡Selective friendships

Selective friendships mean being intentional and discerning about the people one chooses to associate with. The podcast host argues that not everyone deserves a place in one's life, and one should surround themselves with individuals who align with their values and contribute positively to their personal growth. This concept is tied to the idea of self-obsession as it involves being selective to ensure one's environment supports their aspirations.

💡Extraordinary life

An extraordinary life, as discussed in the podcast, is one that goes beyond the ordinary and strives for excellence. It is about setting high standards for oneself and making a conscious effort to live up to one's full potential. The host encourages listeners to embrace their ambitions and to make choices that reflect their desire to be extraordinary.

💡Failure

In the podcast, failure is reframed as a necessary stepping stone to success rather than a setback. The host encourages listeners to embrace failure as a learning opportunity and to not let it define them. This mindset shift is crucial for personal growth and aligns with the self-obsessed philosophy of continuous improvement and resilience.

💡Detachment

Detachment, as mentioned in the script, is about letting go of past experiences and not being overly attached to past emotions or memories. It is a practice of being present and not dwelling on past events that can no longer be changed. The host suggests using past experiences as a source of learning and motivation for the future, rather than as a burden.

💡Change

Change is presented as a natural and necessary part of life that should be embraced. The host advises listeners to be open to new seasons and changes, even if it means redirecting or reevaluating their goals. This flexibility is seen as a strength and a way to ensure personal growth and development.

💡Confidence

Confidence, according to the podcast, is something that can be built and is a choice one makes. The host emphasizes that insecurities are not inherent but learned, and one can choose to be confident despite societal pressures and standards. Confidence is portrayed as a crucial element in the journey of self-obsession and personal empowerment.

💡Energy protection

Protecting one's energy is about safeguarding one's mental and emotional well-being. The host talks about the importance of not letting others drain one's energy and being mindful of the energy one gives to others. This involves setting boundaries and choosing relationships and interactions that are uplifting and nourishing.

💡Happiness

Happiness, in the context of the podcast, is depicted as something that should be actively pursued and not just passively received. The host encourages taking control of one's happiness by intentionally incorporating joyful activities into daily life. This proactive approach to happiness is a key takeaway from the self-obsession philosophy.

Highlights

Introduction to the final podcast episode of season 3 focusing on the 10 laws of self-obsession.

Reflection on the journey of season 3 and the growth of the podcast into video format.

Announcement of a break before returning with season 4, which will continue on video.

Emphasis on the importance of rewriting one's story and shifting narratives through podcast episodes.

Encouragement for listeners to give themselves a round of applause for their progress.

Discussion on maintaining independence in relationships as part of the first law of self-obsession.

Advice on being selective with friendships to protect one's energy and mindset.

The third law of self-obsession is to live an extraordinary life by being an extraordinary person.

The fourth law encourages falling in love with failures as stepping stones to success.

Exploration of detaching from the past and using memories to appreciate personal growth.

The sixth law is about embracing change and new seasons in life to avoid stagnation.

Stress on the importance of discipline and commitment in forming life-changing habits.

The eighth law of self-obsession focuses on building confidence despite insecurities.

Advice on protecting one's energy by observing rather than absorbing negativity.

The final law of self-obsession for season 3 is about taking control of one's happiness.

Closing remarks and gratitude for the audience's support throughout season 3.

Transcripts

[Music]

welcome back my obsessed girlies to the

final podcast episode of season 3 can

you believe we are finally here it's

episode 10 time which as you know every

single season the season finale is all

about the 10 laws of self-obsession

which of course are different every

single season and sums up everything

we've learned in the last season along

with some more exclusive lessons woven

in as well I honestly can't believe that

this is the end of the third season guys

it hasn't even been a year since I

started this podcast can you believe it

and season 3 was actually the birth of

self-obsessed being on video getting a

studio which honestly was like so

stressful and so scary and so outside of

my comfort zone but I did it and it's

here and we did a whole season here and

now I'm going to be going on a little

bit of a break before I come back at the

end of the year with season 4 which by

the way guys of course will still be on

video and still available to watch on

YouTube but there's going to there be so

much more new stuff that I can't wait

because the goal is always to just keep

leveling up with every season I put out

you might not even realize it but with

every single podcast episode you have

been rewriting your story Shifting The

Narrative learning so much more about

life about yourself about how to love

yourself so while everybody else is

waiting until January to start thinking

about their goals and how they're going

to level up you are literally already

halfway there you are already laying the

foundations to be about to enter 2025

and have it be the best year of your

life can we just just take a second to

give you a round of applause right now

you better be giving yourself up on the

back okay because you deserve it I'll be

back in November for season 4 but until

then let's go through the 10 laws of

self- obssession which runs of every

single thing that we learned in this

lesson and even more and before we get

right into it be sure to check out all

of the links underneath this podcast

episode or in the description if you're

watching on YouTube where you can check

out all of my socials my other YouTube

channels my self-love book that just

came out so if you don't know what to do

in this season break then reading that

book will help you honestly master and

accomplish self- Leve it contains every

single lesson I used on my journey and

even more it gives you context and

lessons and mindset shifts and even

practical actions no matter what stage

of your life you're in no matter what

you're going through whether you're in

the healing Journey it covers everything

but without further Ado let's get into

it the 10 laws of self-obsession law

number one maintain your Independence

even if you're in a relationship as I

discussed at the beginning of this

season the biggest mistake I made on my

self love Journey was allowing it to get

myself into a place where I was

isolating myself from others and

thinking that I only ever needed myself

that is not healthy and we are

inherently social beings we need other

people and building relationships with

other people and going through those

challenges and learning about each other

and adapting and growing together is so

fundamental to living a good fulfilling

happy joyful life before I got into my

relationship I was acting from a place

of trauma and survival where I was just

super hyper independent and it was my

protection mechanism to make sure that I

didn't get hurt where you know I was

dating but I wasn't dating seriously and

I was just turning people away and it

wasn't until I had to learn that

self-love does not equate to the absence

of loving others true self-love is also

incorporating all of the information you

need on building relationships on

enforcing and setting boundaries on

heightening your list of Standards so

you don't settle for other people again

I actually would argue that when you do

put yourself into the dating world or

when you are out making new friends and

trying to meet new people you are

actively practicing your self love then

with what you decide to accept and what

you reject in the treatment that other

people give you it's a wonderful test of

how you've grown and how you're showing

up for yourself and so really the

ultimate balance for this law and for

the self-obsessed girlies is you can

date and you can be in your relationship

but at the same time that does not mean

the absence of yourself not everything

needs to revolve around your partner you

are still solo dating you are still in

your phase of self-discovery and

learning about yourself whilst you are

also learning about your partner and you

have to remember that when you are in a

relationship you are living three lives

in this partnership with this other

person you are living your life your

partner is living their individual life

and then your third life is the life you

are building together a lot of people

forget the first

two guys if you were on YouTube I'm so

sorry guys that was actually so

unintentional anyways a lot of people

forget about the first two lives and

they just focus on the lives they're

building together with their partner but

what this risks is a complete loss of

identity and revolving your entire world

around a person and getting so Overly

Attached that you forget who you are are

and if you had to separate yourself from

this person or they're not serving you

anymore you're going to be too fearful

to leave them and you're not going to

know who you are without them and we are

not about that we are setting the

foundations right now with solo dating

and pouring back into ourselves and

figuring out who we are and what we like

so we make sure we're never stuck in

that situation ever again the second law

of self-obsession is to become selective

with the people that you call friends I

have made it very very clear in my years

of being online that you cannot go

around just calling anybody your friend

okay that is low key self sabotage and I

feel for the people that are in this

phase of their lives because your girl

used to be there too okay and it is so

easy to get trapped in this because we

grow up in a society and around people

who promote this idea that you are

likeable and attractive and worthy with

the more people that you have in your

circle and the more popular you are when

in actuality that is so far from the

truth the more people you surround

yourself with in my opinion just

represents the lack of boundaries and

the lack of standards that you have set

because I promise you not everyone can

align to you yes a lot of people are

super nice and they're fun to hang out

with but that does not mean they deserve

a place in your life to then receive all

of your time effort attention energy

emotions connection and honestly a piece

of your mindset because whoever you are

surrounding yourself with you are going

to end up being the average of them of

their mindset of their lifestyle so you

have to be super picky with this and you

can only associate yourself with the

people that align to your highest

purpose if you are an ambitious person

and if you are focused on your growth

journey I think the biggest tip for my

self-obsessed gires is to just get super

intentional with why you're friends with

certain people and a lot of people are

going to skip out on this and a lot of

people don't get it and they're like you

know why does everything need to be

aligned with growth and why does

everything need to be self-improvement

it doesn't it really doesn't it's

literally just down to thinking of

course I am only going to hang out with

somebody if I walk away from that

interaction feeling either inspired or

just joyful or like it added some magic

and happiness into my day why wouldn't I

because at the end of the day if you're

not adding those things then why

wouldn't I just spend all of that time

with myself or bettering myself or

working on my passion projects or

meeting other people or exploring the

world rather than inviting people into

my life just for the sake of having

company the Third Law of self-obsession

is to live an extraordinary life you

must be an extraordinary person honestly

this was probably my favorite episode of

the entire season 3 of self-obsessed I

loved it because with our beautiful

community over on the internet all of my

self-obsessed girlies are all inspired

by the fear of being average we want to

go the step further we want to level up

we want to see what our full potential

is and because of this goal and this

ambition and this passion to just be the

best version of yourself the self-

obsess girlies are not out here trying

to follow the Norms we are making rules

for ourselves and we are making sure

that in order to live up to this ideal

version of ourselves to be this

extraordinary person we are also putting

in all of the habits and all of the

daily mindset shifts and practices to be

able to also live an extraordinary life

so that we can align to that higher

version of ourselves so that we can get

there faster this means skipping out on

the normal regular thing of comparing

yourself to everybody around you because

that is just a human thing to do no the

self-obsessed girl take it a step

further and they block out that natural

human instinct because they know there's

no point comparing to anything if that

person isn't exactly where they need to

be what links into that is a

self-obsessed girlly set even higher

standards for the people they associate

themselves with surround themselves with

are friends with because they know it's

going to affect their mindset and their

energies and they're trying to do

themselves the best favor by placing

themselves in rooms that uplift them and

educate them and Inspire them to go to

the next step another practice of

becoming an extraordinary person and

therefore living an extraordinary life

first is to understand that failures are

not personal they're not an attack on

you they do not define you or present

this idea that you are incapable or

unskilled no no no no no they are so

essential every single human being has

to go through through them we are not

wasting time grieving and feeling bad

about it or oh my God quitting our

passion what we wanted to do so much

just because we messed up a few times no

we learned so many lessons from that

that was simply a part of the journey

that was a stepping stone that has

better prepared us for the next level of

where we want to get to and this of

course links into the fourth law of

self-obsession which is falling in love

with your failures the feeling of

failure shouldn't scare you it should

motivate you I have heard and read so

many self-improvement podcasts and books

where people say you need to regularly

check in on how often you're failing

because if you cannot recall one time

that you have failed this week or this

month then you are not trying enough and

you were not living enough and I

personally couldn't agree more if

everything in your life feels super easy

and comfortable and everything is

Flowing nicely well yes that might feel

good it doesn't exactly mean you're

living up to your full potential because

getting there means getting outside of

your comfort zone and getting outside of

your comfort zone means doing the things

that you are going to be bad at and

guess what by placing your ego aside and

putting yourself in situations where

that skill doesn't come that naturally

egy walking up to strangers to talk to

them and going to networking events or

setting up a business or trying to

present and public speak when you know

you can't do that allows you to start to

develop new skills allows you to grow

your confidence and your self-perception

which really are all of the building

blocks to you becoming the person that

you really want to be because when you

are Desiring something when you are

manifesting something you don't

instantly get the result okay you don't

just do Step A B and C to put in the

work and then you're just going to get

the thing no you get the journey that

you need in order to become the type of

person that has that thing so many of us

are scared of failing but really if you

just take a step back and think about

the last few times you failed you know

you would never make those mistakes

again and you know that you are so much

better off since making those mistakes

any single time you had a difficult

interaction with a friend or a person

you started learning what boundaries

were or you started learning how to work

on yourself or your confidence or how to

speak to strangers and the list goes on

and the moment that I finally rewired my

brain to start seeing my failures as

stepping stones to my inevitable success

guess what happened I started attracting

even more success into my life because

one I was operating from an abundance

mindset which meant that no matter what

happened I did not see it as a personal

attack or that my life is so unlucky or

that I'm so bad at things no no no

everything is working out in my favor

everything is happening as it should

everything that I desire is still on its

way to me and when you are thinking in

that energy and in that realm of course

everything that happens in your life is

going to follow suit and you're going to

keep attracting more of it but also

second when you are going through bad

times and you think this is happening

for a reason or I'm learning something

from this or this is helping me get to

the next stage when you are that

confident in your failures and in things

going badly that's what encourages you

to keep it pushing and to keep going

self-doubt who is she I have never heard

of her she has no place there at that

point the fifth law of self-obsession is

to detach from the past learning to let

go of the past is one of those things

that we hear all of the time and it

sounds so good and makes so much sense

in theory but in reality it's so hard

it's hard to let go of and you can't

just tell yourself I'm not going to

think about the past anymore and then

there's some off switch that turns off

all of these emotions and thoughts

absolutely not and I I don't think that

Detachment is about turning off your

past memories and not revisiting them I

actually think a lot of the time there

can be power gained in revisiting those

emotions and when these past emotions

and these past experiences and memories

come up in your head because I promise

you they will it happens to everyone the

self- Lov test is you not feeling guilty

or bad or shaming yourself for thinking

about those things you know why because

it's simply a flashback to the life that

you've lived and you cannot avoid that

you lived through that and how amazing

is it that at any point we can access

anything we've lived through in our

brain Nostalgia is proof that you've

lived life and any single time I get

flashbacks of people that I don't like

or I would never want to talk to again

or past situations that I definitely

like would not want to re revisit I

started to look at it with a lot more

positivity cuz I'm like but that made me

who I am and I had to go through that

and a lot of the time when I'm thinking

of the girl I was in these flashbacks or

in these past times in my life I get

happy cuz I'm like I'm not her anymore

and that actually just gave me the most

beautiful reminder that I'm so far from

where I used to be in the best and most

positive way and like she doesn't even

know me she really doesn't and I I I

don't even get her because we're so far

apart and because I've come such a way

and so really all of your past memories

and all of this Nostalgia even if it's

from times that you'd rather forget

isn't you dwelling on the past it can

just be shifted into you appreciating

how far that you've come and that in

itself is the process of Detachment it's

detaching from this attachment we have

from oh my God what about this or I used

to do this or I have this thought now so

how do I feel about this person or do I

miss them no no no you just let go and

you just let things flow and you let

these flashbacks and memories come in in

and out of your brain and that's okay

and you don't dwell on it too much or

think about it too much I also think the

past is so powerful because it gives you

such valuable insight into the fact that

nothing lasts forever and that the

things that you once thought could have

destroyed you you end up getting over

and everything ends up pretty much just

like you wanted it to and so I love

having this bank of memories in my head

and I no longer feel bad about thinking

about it some days or maybe just going

back in time a little bit to feel sad

about something that happened because

when I come back to my present moment I

remember oh but that moment had to

happen for a reason and now I know the

outcome of that moment and all of my

past experiences serve as proof that any

of my current worries and any of my

current stresses will turn out in the

exact same way it's not the end of the

world I do not need to worry about this

everything is going to happen as it

should this too will pass and I'll

become better as a person as a result of

it and I'll become wiser and my life

will move on to the next phase having

said that it is super important to have

a balance and while it's really

important to give yourself that

self-acceptance and self- L when you do

find yourself being surrounded with

these flashbacks it's important not to

go there too often because the more you

revisit your past and the more you

decide to live there and all of the past

mistakes and everything that's happened

thus far you miss out on all of the

lessons that are sitting right in front

of you that your future self is looking

back on and thinking I need you to pay

more attention or I wish that you taken

more advantage of that or I wish you

acted in this way you have all of the

Power and all of the control right now

to create your destiny and to create

your dream life the more that you're

living in the things that have already

happened and cannot be changed you or

forfeit your right to create more

abundance and more joy in your present

life your life is happening to you right

now right in front of you please pay

attention to it next up is little six to

becoming self-obsessed and this is by

knowing when it's time to embrace change

and New Seasons in your life AKA when

it's time to just rigate redirect maybe

try something new and not stay stuck in

the same place forever I am the biggest

advocate for vision boarding and

planning out your life but when you

become so attached to the destination

and what exactly it has to look like and

you're not flexible for change or any

other opportunities and you get so rigid

with I have to be here in 5 years time

or else you miss out on all of the

wonderful opportunities that could come

along on the way that could be offering

you everything that you didn't even know

you needed and wanted and on this

journey of self- Lov and self growth

it's so important to know when it's time

to try something new to just break out

of the pattern a little bit to

definitely step outside of your comfort

zone and do it with intention and I

think bad moments and adversities that

happen in your life you know unexpected

challenges are the best time to practice

this because when you finally step out

of the self-sabotaging mindset where

something bad happens to you and you

think why can't I catch a break and why

is life unfair to my life is a book

everything good or bad is so necessary

to happen in my story to get me to my

inevitable abundant ending sometimes you

don't get what you want because you

simply weren't meant for it and it's

trying to redirect you to a place that

you couldn't even think up on your own I

really have started to think that life

or SL the universe gives you these

pushes to get you into doors and to get

you into places that you didn't fully

have the realization that you should

have gone there because a lot of the

time we can make the wrong decisions for

ourselves you know we're following

patterns of familiarity you know

especially if we grow up in places of

chaotic energy or around toxic people we

never really know where to navigate

ourselves and I think it's so important

to take a step back and think maybe that

didn't work out for a reason or maybe

I'm being pushed to this place for a

reason you know maybe things aren't

working out because it's leading me to a

place that is so much better than I

could have ever imagined for myself like

think about it what if I'm just setting

the bar too low what if my standards

aren't that high and this is leading me

to a place that is bigger and better

than I could even think up for myself

everyone talks about habits how

important they are for your growth and

your personal development but usually

the conversation normally stops there

and we don't talk enough about the

discomfort that is required for you to

set the habits that you need to be able

to transform into the person that you

are truly meant to be it requires

discomfort and discipline and commitment

and most importantly intention in

setting all of those habits that's why I

always say that one of the biggest

habits that ever changed my life was

simply the act of doing what I said I

wanted to do when I said I was going to

do it because it truly helps me practice

so much discipline and so much

commitment and when you master like one

skill in one area of your life maybe

it's creativity maybe it's productivity

maybe it's time management in my case it

was this discipline and commitment just

in you know like going to the gym when I

said I was going to no matter what the

weather was like or no matter how I felt

that commitment and discipline then

starts showing up in every other area of

your life you simply need to accomplish

it with one hard task and you'll find

yourself more confident and your

self-perception would have caught up to

be able to have you recognize that you

now have the ability to carry that habit

anywhere else another habit that

absolutely changed my life was the habit

of constantly revisiting those New

Year's goals you set in January now

listen to this carefully because Jan is

literally just around the corner you

guys like we are about to embark on

another whole year and while you are in

the process of thinking about how much

you want to make the most of 2025 and

all of these goals you want to set let's

please additionally set a plan or

schedule on how often we are going to

revisit those goals that we are setting

on a weekly basis let's reference that

goals list that you wrote down and

commit one hour per week to doing

something that gets us closer to one of

the tasks on that list or let's schedule

2 minutes every single morning while

we're brushing our teeth or getting

ready for the day while we are staring

at our vision board and actually

visualizing the success That We crave

rather than walking past the vision

board every single day and forgetting

it's even there or rather than getting

eight months through the year before you

realize oh crap I haven't done anything

on my New Year's resolutions list that I

said I was going to do not only does

referencing your New Year's goals list

when you're scheduling out your week and

time blocking your month and everything

so helpful from a productivity

perspective but it also keeps you super

accountable and it allows you to

identify as the type of person that once

again does what they say they're going

to do another life-changing habit I set

was finding the fine balance between

planning and action and planning is

absolutely great she is that girl I love

her but there is a very fine line where

you can plan so much that you are simply

just avoiding action and you were just

not making progress on actually doing

the task or bringing the goal into your

life and too much planning becomes a

place of self-sabotage where you're

simply delaying progressing on your

journey because you are stuck in a place

of perfection ISM and not letting your

your voice be heard or not letting

yourself express yourself or put out the

things you want to and then so much time

passes that you end up giving up on the

thing and instead what I like to do is

plan in sections or in stages you know

so I'll plan for the initial stages of

launching something I'll launch it and

then there's another phase of planning

to develop it and so on and so on and so

on let's take this podcast as an example

guys like this podcast season one was

literally One Singular microphone on my

tiny Ikea desk in my very first

apartment I would be facing a white wall

it was just audio I would literally

record every single episode in my

pajamas I could you not season two I

then had to plan for okay how am I going

to do guests and then season 3 then I

started planning okay what is video

going to look like what's the setup

going to be how am I going to edit all

of these things and I did it in stages

which has helped me get out all of these

Seasons all in one year and make all of

that progress but if I was stuck in that

beginning stage I would have had such

analysis paralysis about I can't do a

studio and I can't do this and what

videographer am I going to have and how

am I going to find editors and it's so

much to deal with all at once that

that's what accelerates that fear that

prevents you from even starting in the

first place the eighth law of self-

obsession is you need confidence to

build confidence and if you guys

remember season 3 episode 8 was actually

an exerpt from my audio book biosa the

dam flowers I gave you guys a little

insight into chapter 8 from the book

which is all about confidence building

and this law is all about the fact that

confidence is a choice insecurities are

not an inherent part of you they are by

no means valid or accurate or Define you

mm- every insecurity anybody has has

been taught to them you were not a

little child running around nervous

about how your body looked or worrying

about if your hair was nice enough or

worrying if you were too introverted or

extroverted or whether you should be

mysterious or be less of a yappa and all

of these things that are given to us all

of the time all these new beauty

standards and ways of being to be able

to be worthy and liked by other people

you never had that in you but as you've

grown up you hear so much chatter about

what is the right way to be that

obviously is going to influence you and

obv it's going to infiltrate your

mindset and make you question if you are

good enough just as you are but the

truth is you are and the only person

that can ever tell you that and make you

believe it is yourself you need to give

yourself permission to be confident you

need to give yourself permission to go

against beauty standards where it's like

actually I don't need this to be

beautiful or to be accepted or to like

and love myself I'm going to tell myself

I don't need that whether it's a nose

job or a hairstyle or a way of dressing

or a body shape or a personality trait

you are the one who gives yourself that

permission

because I'm telling you these beauty

standards and these Trends they change

every single day okay what is

fashionable today everybody loved 10

years ago and vice versa and it just

keeps changing and while we can't

control that we disrespect ourselves

every single day we criticize and we

call ourselves out on our insecurities

you know we don't let ourselves look in

the mirror with full confidence or a

picture is taken of us and we start

berating our appearance or saying that

we don't look good enough in it every

single time you take an action like that

you are constantly validating the belief

that you are not good enough and that

you are not ACC confident person that

you don't like yourself fully and that

you are not perfect when I promise you

you are but of course I go into way more

detail on what self confidence is the

mindset shifts and habits you need to be

able to implement it and really get to a

solid secure place of confidence in your

life where it is long lasting and

consistent in my book bi yourself the D

flowers which is available to order

worldwide on Amazon you can check the

link in the description the ninth law of

self-obsession is to protect your energy

which of course was the episode right

before this one besties we need to start

protecting our energy because our energy

literally introduces us before we can

even verbally try to one of the best

tactics to protecting your energy to be

your happiest and most at peace self is

to observe rather than absorb instead of

going into every single situation and

letting these people drain your energy

or taking everything they say is truth

or paying so much attention to people

and just letting them take and take and

take from you we are going into places

and we are visualizing ourselves being

protected our energy is so protected

regardless of what another person's

actions might be no matter what they

might say no matter how they treat as we

visualizing we are protected nothing can

penetrate this bubble around us but also

on top of that we are observing people

before we allow them to have access to

our lives and our time and our energy

and our feelings even if everything

around you is full of chaos you can

still be at peace if you are creating

that environment for yourself in here

you need to work on this before you go

into the outer world we are never going

to have control over how people are

acting and what they are saying to us

but we do have control as to the meaning

we put to every experience we have with

another person and then how we decide to

internalize it another way to protect

your energy is to disengage from

one-sided relationships relationships

where they take and take and take from

you and you are literally left with

nothing you are not doing yourself any

favors it is not honorable to keep

giving chances to people where they are

ranting or they are stucking victim

mentality and you will constantly saving

them it is just taking from you and not

uplifting you because if you are a good

enough and intelligent enough person to

be pouring in all of this effort and

time and emotion to other people then

you deserve the same back you need to be

replenished just like you replenish

others and another way of protecting

your energy which I think is severely

underrated is acknowledging when you are

using your energy and in what aspect and

I think specifically this means not

arguing where my anger was needed and

when it would best serve me not the

other person my life changed my life

changed a lot of the times it's so easy

to have an emotional reaction and to let

your initial emotion get the best of you

but please self-obsessed girles please

try to question yourself if I let this

emotion out of me now what are going to

be the consequences of it most

importantly is it going to serve me

because while somebody might be

mistreating you and you want to be angry

and you want to shout and give them a

taste of their own medicine I know

that's going to feel really good and

feel like it's deserved for them but

where does it get you if you are in the

workplace and you need to stand up for

yourself to set a boundary 100% you do

that that is clearly serving you and

your needs but if this is about arguing

with a person who clearly does not

listen and will never change you will

simply depleting your own energy for no

reason at all and finally we have the

10th law of self-obsession a the bonus

lesson for this episode and the final

thing I'm going to say for season 3 of

self-obsessed are we ready the 10th law

of self-obsession is taking control of

your happiness and I say this this is

the 10th law for this season because

this is something that I have been

actually actively living and practicing

while I've been going through these last

10 weeks recording all of these episodes

this has been the newest addition to my

life where I'm just in this habit right

now where I'm waking up every day and

I'm thinking what can I do today that I

can look forward to what can I do today

that's going to make me feel really

happy and I try to incorporate at least

one thing a day that just gives me joy

and yes it's not possible every single

day we are busy we have responsibilities

we got places to be but as long as the

intentions there and you're trying to be

as consistent as possible with it and

that might mean making sure that you

stay focused with your work all day so

that you can have a movie night at night

or taking yourself on a solo date guys

I'm about to leave the studio in 10

minutes I'm going to the cinema on a

solo date to celebrate the fact that I

finished my podcast season rather than

going straight home and going to bed and

just doing errands like I normally would

it's always doing things in trying to

incorporate Joy or or magic into my life

to romanticize my life and just break up

the mundane regular existence that I

could live otherwise which eventually

after a few weeks will leave me feeling

bored and depleted and drained wondering

why my life is so boring no we are ahead

of the curve we are laying the

foundations we are making sure that we

are so accountable for our mental health

and happiness and especially when it

comes to mental health I am constantly

hacking my happy hormones that means

exercising as regularly as possible I'm

spending way more time walking in the

morning in nature trying to get as much

sunlight as I can I'm trying to spend

more time with my loved ones or call

them on the phone it's about giving

yourself the permission to be happy I

promise you that you are the creators of

your own story and your own life and the

difference between going to bed feeling

so exhausted and miserable to start of

the day versus going to bed feeling so

happy and content with the life that you

live even if not all of your goals might

be fulfilled that is not a factor in

this okay that is not a factor it's

about choosing how you want to receive

every experience that you might have

lived that day

what better way to show yourself that

you just love yourself so much than to

make sure that you are putting your

energy in high places and that you are

making sure that you were just a happy

individual and you were trying to

extract Joy from as many things as you

can and that brings us to the end of

season 3 of self-obsessed thank you guys

so much for being with me on this

journey throughout season 3 I cannot

tell you how much I appreciate you

please comment down below if you're

watching on YouTube what was your

favorite episode from this season I

would love to know because already we're

we're starting to plan season 4 and all

of the topics and cont content so I'd

love your recommendations as well but

thank you guys I honestly I appreciate

your support so much I see all the time

your supportive messages the fact that

you guys subscribe so fast to the

self-obsessed YouTube channel that you

comment on every video like it just

warms my heart so thank you so much I'm

wishing you the best of luck on your

self-obsessed journey and I know that

even though I'm not going to be around

on the podcast for the next 6 to 8 weeks

I know that you guys are going to be

putting in the work because the gires

are accountable because the girlies are

aware because the girlies stay educated

I'm so proud of View and if you really

need your self-help fix be sure to check

out my other YouTube channels where I'll

still be uploading every single week I

appreciate you and I will see you in

November for the next podcast episode

bye