How To Get In Your Ex's Head

Summary

Coach Lee offers five strategies to get into your ex's head post-breakup: 1) Initiate the breakup to disrupt their sense of superiority; 2) Control the momentum by ceasing pursuit, allowing them space to reconsider; 3) Maintain composure and avoid anger to demonstrate emotional strength; 4) Don't fix the relationship for them, making them take responsibility for reconciliation; 5) Resist rushing, showing patience and self-worth. These tactics aim to rebalance the relationship dynamics and potentially lead to reconciliation.

Takeaways

• 😀 Giving your ex the breakup can disrupt their expectations and put you in a position of power.
• 🏃‍♂️ Controlling the momentum by not chasing after your ex can make them question their decision to break up.
• 🤔 Allowing your ex space to reflect on the breakup can lead them to reconsider their feelings and the relationship.
• 🚫 Avoid showing anger or desperation as it can signal emotional weakness and push your ex further away.
• 🤗 Displaying emotional strength and living a fulfilling life without your ex can make you more attractive to them.
• 🙅‍♀️ Don't take on the responsibility of fixing the relationship; it's important for your ex to demonstrate their commitment.
• 👫 Be cautious about rushing back into the relationship; taking it slow can build anticipation and increase attraction.
• 💬 When your ex reaches out, respond with reserve and avoid giving them immediate reassurance or satisfaction.
• 🔑 Understanding the dynamics of attraction and loss can help you navigate the complex emotions post-breakup.
• ⏳ Patience is key; taking time to rebuild the relationship can lead to a stronger and more stable bond in the future.

Q & A

What is the first strategy Coach Lee suggests to get into your ex's head?

The first strategy is to give them the breakup, meaning not to chase, beg, or plead but to let them go, which disrupts their expectation of you being less attractive and desperate.

Why does Coach Lee recommend not chasing after your ex after a breakup?

Chasing after your ex can make you appear obsessed or unstable, and it pushes them further away. It's better to let the momentum go and allow them to come to you if they wish to reconnect.

How does showing anger affect the process of getting back into your ex's head according to Coach Lee?

Showing anger reveals that the breakup deeply affected you, which can be a sign of weakness in the context of attraction. It's better to display emotional strength and not let them see the negative impact they had on you.

What is the significance of not rushing back into a relationship with your ex as mentioned by Coach Lee?

Not rushing shows that you value yourself and are not desperate for their attention. It's an attractive quality that can make your ex reconsider their decision and create a more balanced dynamic if you do get back together.

Why should you not try to fix the relationship for your ex, as per Coach Lee's advice?

Fixing the relationship for your ex can put you in a position of less attraction. It's their responsibility to initiate the reconciliation since they were the ones who broke up, showing they are ready and willing to put in the effort.

What does Coach Lee mean by 'control the momentum' in the context of getting back with an ex?

Controlling the momentum means managing the pace of interaction after a breakup. It involves not chasing them when they pull away and not stopping them when they start to come back, allowing the natural ebb and flow of attraction to take its course.

How does Coach Lee suggest responding when your ex reaches out expressing missing you or wanting to get back together?

Coach Lee suggests responding with reserve, acknowledging their feelings without committing fully. For example, saying you're open to the idea but prefer to take things one day at a time.

What is the role of self-value in Coach Lee's strategy for getting back into an ex's head?

Self-value is crucial. By showing that you are not desperate for their attention and can live a fulfilling life without them, you increase your attractiveness and make them question their decision to break up.

How does Coach Lee define attraction in the context of breakups and getting back together?

Attraction, as defined by Coach Lee, is a feeling of being pulled towards someone and a sense of desirability. After a breakup, the goal is to reestablish that pull and make the ex feel they are not necessarily more attractive than you.

What is the 'Emergency Breakup Kit' mentioned by Coach Lee and how can it help?

The 'Emergency Breakup Kit' is a resource Coach Lee offers, which compiles his 20 years of relationship coaching experience to guide individuals on how to potentially get their ex back.