What Your Ex Is Thinking During No Contact?

Summary

Coach Lee from MyExBackCoach.com explains the psychological stages your ex may experience during the no-contact phase after a breakup. Initially, your ex feels relief from the breakup, as they’ve likely been mentally preparing for it. As time passes and you maintain no contact, your ex may become curious about your actions, which can lead to attraction. This curiosity eventually turns into fear of having lost you, prompting them to reach out. The no-contact strategy forces your ex to feel the emotional loss and reevaluate their decision, making them more likely to want you back.

Takeaways

• 😀 Your ex feels relief after the breakup, as they have been mentally preparing for it longer than you.
• 😀 Initially, your ex may not experience the emotional pain of the breakup, as they believe they could easily get you back whenever they want.
• 😀 The first few days or weeks after the breakup are often easier for the ex, but it can gradually shift as they begin to feel the consequences of their actions.
• 😀 You may be feeling the pain of loss, but remember that this is partly due to the feeling of being devalued or rejected, not just wanting the ex back.
• 😀 Going into no contact is crucial because it allows your ex to feel the loss of you, making them reconsider the breakup and increasing the chances of them reaching out.
• 😀 By not chasing your ex, you become more attractive to them, as they start to question why you're not pursuing them.
• 😀 Curiosity about what you're doing during no contact can trigger a reawakening of attraction for your ex.
• 😀 Your ex may start to feel the fear that they have lost you, which is an important stage for the tables to turn in your favor.
• 😀 If your ex reaches out during no contact, it’s likely a test to see if you’ll take them back easily; don’t immediately express your willingness to reconcile.
• 😀 The key is to maintain your strength and avoid being their backup plan. If you are always available to them, they will not value you as much.
• 😀 The psychological dynamics of no contact make your ex feel disappointment when they don’t hear from you, setting the stage for them to regret the breakup.

Q & A

What is the first thing your ex feels after the breakup?

Your ex likely feels relief after the breakup, especially if they were the one who initiated it. They've been mentally preparing for this moment for a while, whereas you might feel blindsided. They may not miss you immediately because they've been working through their decision for weeks or months.

Why does your ex feel relief after breaking up with you?

Your ex feels relief because they’ve been preparing emotionally and mentally for the breakup for some time. The decision was likely not sudden for them, and breaking up with you was something they’d been considering long before it happened. They see it as a difficult but necessary step.

Does your ex feel the loss immediately after the breakup?

No, your ex doesn't immediately feel the loss because they were the one who broke up with you. In their mind, they still have the power and believe that if they wanted to, they could easily get back together with you. This sense of control prevents them from experiencing the same emotional pain you're going through.

What role does 'no contact' play in getting your ex to feel the loss?

'No contact' is a key strategy because it removes the immediate availability of communication with you. By not reaching out, your ex begins to feel the reality of the breakup and the possibility of losing you for good. It shifts the dynamic and creates emotional space for them to process their feelings.

How does curiosity affect your ex's feelings during no contact?

Curiosity can trigger the beginning of attraction again. As you remain in no contact, your ex starts to wonder why you're not reaching out or chasing them. They may feel a sense of ego bruising because they expected you to chase them, but instead, you're showing strength and independence.

Why is curiosity considered a precursor to attraction?

Curiosity makes your ex start to think about you and what you're doing. This mental engagement can gradually lead to attraction, especially if they begin to feel unsure of themselves or miss what they had with you. It's a psychological process where interest leads to rekindling emotional and romantic feelings.

What emotional shift occurs in your ex as they move through the 'no contact' phase?

As the no contact period continues, your ex starts to move from curiosity to fear. They begin to worry that they've made a mistake and that they've lost you for good. This fear of loss is a critical stage because it shows that they’re beginning to regret their decision and value what they once had.

How can no contact lead to your ex fearing they've lost you?

By staying out of contact, you remove yourself from being their emotional backup plan. Your ex begins to realize that if they truly want you back, they will have to make an effort. This creates pressure on them to take action, as they fear that you may be moving on without them.

When might your ex reach out to you during no contact?

Your ex may reach out when they begin to fear that they've lost you permanently. They might send a casual message like 'Just wanted to see how you're doing' to test the waters. However, it's important that you don’t immediately show eagerness to reconcile, as this would undo the emotional shift they’re experiencing.

What should you do if your ex reaches out during no contact?

If your ex reaches out, respond casually and keep the conversation light. Avoid giving them the reassurance that you're ready to get back together immediately. This helps them continue to feel the loss and pressure to work harder if they truly want you back, rather than falling back into the old dynamic where they know you’ll always be available.