Living Jewishly Means Dying Jewishly, Too

Summary

The speaker explores the significance of embracing death as a natural part of life within the Jewish tradition. They discuss the importance of being present in the moment, as exemplified by the Hebrew Bible's first story of death and the spiritual questioning it provokes. The talk delves into Jewish communal responses to death, such as the kadisha groups that honor the dead and comfort the bereaved, emphasizing the transformative power of these practices for individuals and communities. The speaker shares personal experiences that highlight the profound impact of engaging with death consciously and the role of the kadisha in fostering community support and healing.

Takeaways

• 😔 The speaker asserts that living Jewishly means facing death in a Jewish way, which can be uncomfortable for some to discuss.
• 🕊️ Jewish tradition views death as an integral part of life, contrary to modern society's tendency to avoid the topic.
• 📚 The Hebrew Bible's first story about death is symbolic, with Adam and Eve's response to God's question 'Aeka' serving as a model for being present in life.
• 💉 Modern society's advances in healthcare and mobility have distanced people from the reality and community aspects of death.
• 🏥 Most Americans spend significant resources on end-of-life healthcare and tend to die in hospitals, further removing death from everyday life.
• 👥 Jewish tradition encourages community involvement in death and dying through practices like the kadisha, which supports the bereaved and honors the dead.
• 🧘 The speaker's personal experiences with death, including family losses, have shaped their understanding and participation in Jewish death rituals.
• 🍺 The kadisha's annual gatherings, including the use of decorated beer glasses, reflect the community's acknowledgment of their important but difficult role.
• 👕 The Jewish tradition of simple burials with plain white garments (shrouds) and pine boxes stems from a respect for the poor and a desire for equal dignity in death.
• 🤲 The act of participating in a kadisha can be transformative for both the members and the community, fostering deep bonds and a sense of collective support.
• 🕊️ The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of wholeness ('shalom') in Jewish tradition, suggesting that confronting death mindfully can strengthen community and personal harmony.

Q & A

What is the speaker's main assertion about living and dying Jewishly?

The speaker asserts that living Jewishly also means dying Jewishly, which emphasizes the importance of Jewish traditions in both life and death.

Why does the speaker suggest that discussing death might be uncomfortable for some people?

The speaker suggests that discussing death might be uncomfortable because it's a difficult and often avoided topic, especially in modern society where death is sometimes euphemized or distanced.

What lesson does the speaker derive from the biblical story of Adam and Eve regarding death?

The speaker highlights the lesson that God’s question to Adam, 'Where are you?', is not about physical location but a spiritual one, prompting a reflection on presence and living in the reality of the moment, which ties to acknowledging death as part of life.

What societal trends does the speaker identify as distancing people from death?

The speaker identifies several trends: advances in healthcare extending life, the fact that many people die in hospitals rather than at home, and the geographic mobility of families, which can separate people from their loved ones when they die.

How does the speaker’s early experience with death shape his understanding of Jewish traditions around it?

The speaker's early encounters with death, such as his sister’s suicide and father’s death, shaped his understanding by showing him the importance of communal presence and support during grief, even though those traditions were not fully explained to him at the time.

What role does the Chevra Kadisha (holy fellowship) play in Jewish death rituals?

The Chevra Kadisha is responsible for the preparation of the deceased for burial, including keeping vigil, performing ritual purification (tahara), and comforting mourners. It ensures that death and burial are handled with dignity and respect in the Jewish tradition.

Why does the speaker mention beer and wine glasses in the context of the Chevra Kadisha?

The speaker mentions the decorated beer and wine glasses used in Europe by the Chevra Kadisha during their annual feasts to reflect on their work, symbolizing both the holiness and community bonding in their shared responsibility of caring for the dead.

How does Jewish tradition approach the cost of funerals, according to the speaker?

Jewish tradition emphasizes simplicity in funerals to avoid financial burdens, ensuring that everyone, regardless of wealth, is buried with dignity. The tradition calls for plain white garments and simple wooden coffins, a practice established to respect the poor.

What impact does participation in the Chevra Kadisha have on its members, according to the speaker?

Participation in the Chevra Kadisha has a transformative effect on its members, helping them confront death directly and cultivate deep bonds with one another through the shared, holy task of caring for the dead.

How does the speaker's experience keeping vigil for a friend's death deepen his understanding of Jewish death practices?

The speaker’s experience of keeping vigil (sitting shmira) before his friend's funeral profoundly connected him to Jewish death practices, reinforcing the value of being present and mindful during death, and confirming the importance of communal support in the grieving process.