Having Autism & ADHD (The Paradox)

Summary

This video explores the complex intersection of autism and ADHD, detailing the challenges of living with both conditions. The creator discusses the paradoxical nature of their experiences, such as the need for order yet resistance to routine, and the difficulty in managing social interactions. They also touch on the impact of ADHD medication on their life and the ongoing journey of learning to navigate their unique existence.

Takeaways

• 🤔 Living with both autism and ADHD can be paradoxical, as the needs arising from each condition sometimes clash.
• 🧠 The individual has a chaotic brain that thrives on order but also rebels against routine, leading to feelings of anxiety and unsettledness.
• 🔢 It's estimated that 30-80% of autistic individuals also meet the criteria for ADHD, highlighting the prevalence of this dual diagnosis.
• 🤝 The speaker finds a strong sense of relatability with others who have both conditions, indicating a unique shared experience.
• 🧩 ADHD primarily affects executive functioning, including working memory, cognitive flexibility, and self-control, among other aspects.
• 🌐 Autism is characterized by differences in social communication, restrictive behaviors, and sensory processing, with some overlap in executive functioning.
• 🏠 The speaker requires a lot of alone time and finds socializing challenging, yet also has a desire to be in social situations.
• 🗣️ Despite being exhausted by conversation, the speaker often dominates social interactions due to a hyperawareness of their social challenges.
• 🔄 The speaker struggles with self-care, often prioritizing immediate gratification over long-term well-being, leading to a cycle of regret and frustration.
• 💊 ADHD medication has positively impacted the speaker's focus and emotional regulation but has also made their autistic traits more pronounced.
• 🔄 The speaker is in a continuous process of learning to live with their dual diagnosis, seeking balance and stability in their life.

Q & A

What is the paradox the speaker feels living with both autism and ADHD?

The paradox is that the speaker's needs due to autism and ADHD sometimes clash. While autism might require routine and order, ADHD traits can lead to a desire for novelty and excitement, making it complicated to meet self-care needs.

How does the speaker describe their brain's state due to having both conditions?

The speaker describes their brain as 'very busy and chaotic,' which both thrives on order and rebels against routine.

What percentage of autistic individuals might also meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD according to the speaker?

It is estimated that between 30% and 80% of autistic individuals might also meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD.

How does the speaker feel when they meet someone who also has autism and ADHD?

The speaker finds it reassuring and feels a strong sense of relatability with others who have both conditions, more so than with people who have only one of the conditions.

What are the main aspects of executive functioning that ADHD affects, according to the script?

ADHD affects executive functioning, which includes working memory, cognitive flexibility, emotional control, self-control, task initiation, organization and planning, time management, and self-monitoring.

How does autism impact the speaker differently from ADHD?

Autism impacts the speaker by causing differences in social communication, social interaction, repetitive and restrictive patterns of behavior, interest, or activity, and sensory processing differences.

What is the speaker's strategy for managing social interactions?

The speaker limits social interactions to about once a week, finding that less is more for them. They also struggle with managing the intensity of conversations and often overshare.

How does the speaker handle their slow processing speed during social interactions?

The speaker tends to speak first and think later, letting their mouth run while their brain is still processing the conversation.

What is the impact of ADHD medication on the speaker's life?

ADHD medication has helped the speaker with focus, emotional regulation, and restlessness, but it has also made their autistic traits more prominent.

How does the speaker feel about the changes brought on by ADHD medication?

While the speaker acknowledges the positive impact of medication on their life, they also miss the optimism and forgetfulness that used to help them cope, even if it led to overload and fatigue.

What is the speaker's hope for their future in managing both autism and ADHD?

The speaker is hopeful that learning to accommodate their needs and living a more balanced life will lead to more stability, less overload, fewer meltdowns, and a calmer existence.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Navigating the Paradox of Autism and ADHD

The speaker, who identifies as having both autism and ADHD, shares the complexities of living with these conditions. They describe the paradoxical nature of needing order yet craving novelty, and the difficulty in managing social interactions due to the chaotic nature of their brain. The video aims to explore how the speaker is learning to navigate life as an 'autiHDer'. It discusses the overlap between autism and ADHD, with statistics suggesting a significant percentage of autistic individuals also meet ADHD criteria. The speaker's personal experiences highlight the challenges of self-care, socializing, and the impact of medication on their life, including how it has made their autistic traits more pronounced.

05:02

🔄 The Struggle with Self-Care and Medication's Impact

In this paragraph, the speaker delves into the challenges of self-care, particularly the struggle to maintain routines and resist the urge for novelty and dopamine-seeking behaviors. They express frustration with their inability to consistently engage in activities that they know are beneficial, such as Lego, art, or gaming, often getting sidetracked by social media or messaging. The paragraph also discusses the effects of ADHD medication, which has improved focus and emotional regulation but has also heightened the visibility of their autistic traits. The speaker reflects on how medication has altered their coping mechanisms and the cycle of optimism, action, meltdown, and burnout they previously experienced. They express hope that learning to live with their conditions will lead to a more balanced and stable life.

Keywords

💡Autism

Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication. In the video, the speaker describes living with autism as having a chaotic brain that thrives on order yet rebels against routine. The video discusses how autism can impact executive functioning and sensory processing, which are central to the speaker's experience of living with both autism and ADHD.

💡ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects attention, activity levels, and impulsivity. The video script describes ADHD as primarily affecting executive functioning, which includes working memory, cognitive flexibility, and self-control. The speaker's narrative revolves around the challenges of balancing the traits of autism with the executive functioning issues presented by ADHD.

💡Executive Functioning

Executive functioning refers to a set of cognitive processes that are necessary for goal-directed behavior, including working memory, cognitive flexibility, and self-control. The video explains how ADHD impacts these functions, making it difficult for the speaker to manage tasks, time, and social interactions effectively. The speaker's struggle with executive functioning is a central theme in navigating their daily life with both autism and ADHD.

💡Sensory Processing

Sensory processing involves how the brain receives and interprets information from the senses. The video mentions that autism can cause differences in sensory processing, which can lead to sensitivities or unique responses to sensory stimuli. The speaker's experience with sensory processing differences adds to the complexity of their life with autism and ADHD, affecting how they interact with their environment.

💡Social Interaction

Social interaction refers to the way people communicate and relate to each other. The video script highlights the speaker's challenges with socializing due to autism, finding it both exhausting and necessary for their well-being. They describe the paradox of needing alone time while also craving social connections, which is a common struggle for individuals with autism.

💡Self-Care

Self-care encompasses activities that individuals do to maintain or improve their well-being. In the video, the speaker discusses the importance of self-care for managing their conditions but also the difficulty in following through with it due to the impulsivity and restlessness associated with ADHD. The speaker's struggle with self-care illustrates the challenges of balancing the needs of both autism and ADHD.

💡Stimulation

Stimulation in this context refers to the sensory or mental engagement that an individual seeks or experiences. The speaker with autism and ADHD describes a desire for stimulation, which can lead to seeking out new and exciting experiences. However, this pursuit can sometimes conflict with their need for routine and order, contributing to feelings of being overwhelmed.

💡Dopamine-Seeking

Dopamine-seeking behavior involves engaging in activities that trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. The video describes how the speaker with ADHD might engage in dopamine-seeking activities, such as scrolling on social media, which can lead to overstimulation and detract from engaging in more beneficial self-care activities.

💡Medication

Medication is a term used to describe drugs used to prevent or treat diseases or symptoms. In the video, the speaker discusses the impact of ADHD medication on their life, noting improvements in focus and emotional regulation but also a heightened awareness of their autistic traits. The speaker's experience with medication reflects the complex interplay between treatment and the management of dual diagnoses.

💡Paradoxical Existence

A paradoxical existence refers to a situation where two seemingly contradictory elements coexist. The video's title and narrative revolve around the concept of living with both autism and ADHD, which presents a paradox of needing order and routine while also craving novelty and stimulation. This paradoxical existence is a central theme in the speaker's journey of self-discovery and adaptation.

Highlights

Living with both autism and ADHD can feel paradoxical, with needs sometimes clashing.

The speaker has a chaotic brain that thrives on order but rebels against routine.

Between 30 and 80% of autistic people may also have ADHD.

Meeting another autistic ADHDer provided a unique sense of relatability.

ADHD primarily affects executive functioning, including working memory and cognitive flexibility.

Autism causes differences in social communication, behavior patterns, and sensory processing.

Autism can impact executive functioning, and ADHDers may experience sensory processing differences.

The speaker needs alone time and finds socializing challenging but also craves social situations.

Limiting social interactions to once a week helps prevent overload.

The speaker is exhausted by conversation yet often dominates social discussions.

After social interactions, the speaker feels drained and overanalyzes the conversations.

The speaker's ADHD medication has improved focus and emotional regulation but made autistic traits more pronounced.

Medication has helped the speaker avoid the cycle of meltdown and burnout.

The speaker is hopeful that learning to live with both conditions will lead to a more balanced and stable life.

There is a lack of advice for living as an autistic ADHDer, making the journey of learning how to live an ongoing process.

The speaker invites viewers to join the journey of learning to live with this paradoxical existence.

Transcripts

I’m diagnosed with both autism and ADHD. And living with both conditions can feel like living a paradox.

Figuring out the best self-care and how to meet my needs can be really complicated because the needs that I have because of my autism and the needs that I have because of my ADHD sometimes clash.

In this video I’ll be sharing what that looks like and how I’m learning to navigate life as an autiHDer.

[intro music]

People often ask me what impact having autism and ADHD has on my life and which condition causes which traits.

And the truth is, I find it impossible to tell which condition is causing which trait.

All I know is that I have a very busy chaotic brain, which both thrives on order and rebels against routine.

And that living with this chaos can be incredibly difficult when lack of order and routine leaves me feeling incredibly unsettled and anxious.

It is estimated that between 30 and 80% of autistic people would also meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD.

That’s a massive margin, but even at the lower end of that, that would put one third of autistic people as also having ADHD, which is quite a lot.

And it's actually really reassuring to know that I’m not the only one living like this.

I recently met another autistic ADHDer and I found that I really related to her life and her experiences, more so than I ever have done with people that just have autism or just have ADHD. It’s a particularly unique experience.

And it’s not one that gets talked about a huge amount.

As hard as it is to separate the two, here’s my attempt at defining the main traits of both conditions.

And if you’d like to hear more about the differences between autism and ADHD, I actually made an entire video about this, which I’ll link to in the description box below.

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition which primarily affects executive functioning.

Executive functioning includes: working memory, the part of our memory which holds information and accesses information short term,

it’s like the post-it notes of the memory system;

cognitive flexibility, the ability to adapt to changing situations;

emotional control; self-control, the ability to stop and think before acting;

task initiation, organisation and planning and time management; and self-monitoring, the ability to view and evaluate yourself.

And autism is a neurodevelopmental disability which causes differences in social communication and social interaction, repetitive and restrictive patterns of behaviour, interest or activity, and sensory processing differences.

And, just to confuse matters, autism can impact executive functioning and, anecdotally, lots of ADHDers are saying that they get sensory processing differences as part of their ADHD.

Honestly at this point I’m not sure we fully understand the profile of those of us who meet the diagnostic criteria for both, and I’m certainly hoping there’s going to be a lot more research into this in the future.

But for now, let me share my personal experience.

I know that I need a lot of alone time, and I find socialising really challenging.

But at the same time, I have an urge to be in social situations, really enjoying the buzz of other people’s energy and the connections that I get.

I’ve learnt to limit my social interactions because I’ve learnt that less is definitely more for me when it comes to this area.

I’ve found that the best way for me to determine this is to figure out exactly how much social interaction works without overloading me. For me, that’s about once a week, considering that I live with four other people – my family.

Sticking to a specific amount is a lot easier for me than just aiming to socialise less. But it takes a lot of self-control not to just fill my diary with social stuff, leaving me with very little time to regulate.

Then there’s the challenge of learning to actually manage the social situations.

I’m exhausted by conversation but, conversely, I’ll also usually be the chattiest person in the room.

It’s like I’m hyperaware of myself, the words I’m saying, how hard it is for me to interpret social interaction and intention, and how intense I am,

but I’m also completely powerless to stop myself from dominating conversations and massively oversharing.

Then afterwards I feel drained and ashamed and I overanalyse every interaction that I had.

Processing information after the fact, and wishing that I’d responded differently, rather than speaking first and thinking later.

Sidenote: I’ve actually recently realised this is how I handle my slow processing speed, it’s like I just let my mouth run and say whatever whilst my brain is still working out what’s actually been said and how I actually want to respond.

I’ve wished in the past that I was quieter and that I could restrain my chattiness and be less intense.

Making promises to myself ahead of social situations that this time I’ll be quieter and more thoughtful and just give less of myself away,

and then failing to do so and feeling the sting of regret as soon as I walk away or sometimes during the situation.

Another aspect of the dual diagnosis is my inability to follow through on the self-care that I know that I need.

I know that I benefit from routine and order, but in the moment it’s really hard to avoid just throwing myself into something different, dopamine-seeking and just looking for new and exciting things,

and then regretting my inability to stick to my plans when I’m feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed.

Feeling determined that next time will be different and then repeating the cycle all over again. Like an endless cycle of knowing what I need but being completely incapable of meeting that need.

I also know that time with my interests really benefits me.

Lego, art, or losing myself in a video game can really help me to feel relaxed and calm and fulfilled.

But often, I can’t actually do the thing.

I end my working day with an hour to spend on my interests and I choose an activity.

Then I think, “oh, I’ll just take a minute to check Instagram or TikTok” or “I’ll quicky message a friend”.

Before I know it, I’ve wasted my free hour, I’m feeling really overstimulated from the dopamine-scroll or text-exchange and I haven’t done my interest, which I know would’ve made me feel better,

and now I’ve run out of time. So frustrating, yet I do it nearly every day.

Sidenote: I make different content on all of my socials, so if you’d like to follow me on TikTok or Instagram, I am purpleellaandcoco.

ADHD medication has had a remarkable impact on my life. It’s helped with focus, emotional regulation and restlessness.

But I also feel as though it’s made my autistic traits more prominent.

Before medication my desire for stimulation and my impulsiveness kind of helped me to cope in a maladaptive way.

Despite the pain and rejection of social mistakes, I was able to continue socialising, because I kind of forgot about the pain and negative parts really quickly and just felt optimistic that this time was going to be great.

I felt more optimistic because I kind of just forgot about the negative stuff.

My distractibility kept me from focusing too much on my daily challenges.

Life was still hard, but I just kind of forgot, does that make sense?

And my impulsiveness meant that I more easily threw myself into new situations and challenges, without thinking about past experiences or the impact that they might have on my wellbeing.

I think the meds are still a positive thing, because pre-meds I largely ignored the things that led to me experiencing meltdowns and burnout.

And I felt like I was on an endless cycle of optimism, then action, then meltdown, then eventually burnout, then rest, then repeat.

Now my life feels more balanced, but I do kind of miss the joy of just not remembering my situation or my needs, even if it did generally end in overload and fatigue.

I’m hopeful, though, that this is progress, that ending the cycle and learning to accommodate my needs and to live a more balanced life will ultimately lead

to a life in which I feel more calm and I experience less overload, less meltdown and just more stability.

I’m less than two years on from learning that I have ADHD alongside my autism, and learning how to live is an ongoing process.

Especially since there isn’t a lot of advice or guidance on how to live as an autistic ADHDer.

So if you’re not already subscribed, then please consider doing so, and come with me on this journey of learning how to live this paradoxical existence.

And if you did like the video, then please hit the like button so that the YouTube algorithm gods will know that you liked it and will push it out to more people.

Thanks for watching today. Goodbye.