6 Habits To Stop Looking Weak (gain instant respect)

Summary

This video explores the confidence and strategic prowess of Tommy Shelby from 'Peaky Blinders,' drawing parallels to high-pressure real-life situations. It delves into his calm demeanor, use of state-breaking questions, and persuasive tactics that align with others' interests. The video also highlights Tommy's unique ability to turn adversity into opportunity, offering practical advice on leveraging challenges into resources. It concludes with a call to action for viewers to enhance their confidence and charisma through the Charisma University course, promising significant personal transformation.

Takeaways

• 😐 **Calmness Under Pressure**: Tommy Shelby's ability to remain calm in high-pressure situations is a key aspect of his confidence.
• 🌟 **Developing Composure**: His calm demeanor is not innate but developed through repeated exposure to life-threatening situations.
• 🔍 **Exposure Therapy**: To cultivate calmness, one should expose themselves to less challenging simulations of difficult scenarios.
• 💡 **State-Breaking Questions**: Tommy uses unexpected questions to disrupt the flow of conversation and regain control.
• 🗣️ **Persuasive Communication**: He persuades others by asking questions that break their state and by aligning his needs with theirs.
• 🤝 **Understanding Others**: To effectively persuade, Tommy researches and understands the perspectives and needs of others.
• 📈 **Influencing Through Incentives**: Tommy motivates people by offering both rewards and consequences, appealing to both gain and loss aversion.
• 🔄 **Turning Adversity into Advantage**: He transforms negative situations into opportunities that benefit him more than if the adversity hadn't occurred.
• 🎯 **Aligning Needs with Goals**: Tommy often gets what he wants by aligning his needs with the goals of others, creating win-win situations.
• 💼 **Practical Application**: The strategies used by Tommy can be applied in real-life scenarios, such as business negotiations or building relationships.

Q & A

What is the key trait of Tommy Shelby that helps him remain calm under pressure?

Tommy Shelby's key trait is his calm, non-reactive demeanor, which he developed through repeated exposure to life-threatening situations.

How does Tommy Shelby use state-breaking questions to his advantage?

Tommy Shelby uses state-breaking questions to disrupt the one-sided conversational flow set by others, allowing him to steer the conversation in a new direction and assert his power.

What is the importance of understanding the other person's perspective when persuading them?

Understanding the other person's perspective is crucial for aligning your needs with theirs, which is a more effective strategy for persuasion than simply commanding or threatening.

How does Tommy Shelby turn a bad situation into a resource?

Tommy Shelby turns bad situations into resources by recontextualizing them to serve his goals, such as faking Danny's death to gain an operative in London and a hiding place for stolen guns.

What is the significance of offering both the carrot and the stick when persuading others, as demonstrated by Tommy Shelby?

Offering both the carrot (reward) and the stick (punishment) provides a stronger motivation for people to commit to a plan, as it appeals to both the desire for gain and the fear of loss.

How does Tommy Shelby's approach to high-pressure situations differ from a passive acceptance of circumstances?

Tommy Shelby actively manipulates high-pressure situations to his advantage, rather than passively accepting them, by using tactics like state-breaking questions and aligning his needs with others'.

What role does exposure therapy play in developing Tommy Shelby's calm demeanor?

Exposure therapy, through repeated exposure to challenging situations, plays a significant role in developing Tommy Shelby's calm demeanor, which is crucial for his success in high-pressure scenarios.

How does Tommy Shelby's strategy of persuasion differ from traditional negotiation tactics?

Tommy Shelby's strategy involves understanding the other person's perspective and needs, using state-breaking questions, and offering both rewards and threats, which differs from traditional negotiation tactics that may rely solely on power dynamics.

What can individuals learn from Tommy Shelby's approach to turning adversity into opportunity?

Individuals can learn to recontextualize adverse situations to find opportunities for gain, similar to how Tommy Shelby turns setbacks into strategic advantages.

How does the video script suggest using Tommy Shelby's strategies in real-life scenarios?

The video script suggests applying Tommy Shelby's strategies, such as exposure therapy for calmness, state-breaking questions for control, and aligning needs for persuasion, in real-life scenarios like job interviews and social interactions.

What is the significance of the re-uploaded, updated version of the video mentioned in the script?

The re-uploaded, updated version of the video signifies that the original content was deemed controversial or against platform guidelines, necessitating revisions to comply with YouTube's policies.

Outlines

00:00

😎 Learning Confidence from Tommy Shelby

This paragraph discusses the character Tommy Shelby from the show 'Peaky Blinders' and his ability to remain calm under pressure. It suggests that viewers can learn from his composure in high-stress situations. The video was re-uploaded after being banned by YouTube, and it contains spoilers up to season five. The key takeaway is that Tommy's calm demeanor is a learned trait, developed through exposure to dangerous situations, and it serves as a foundation for other strategies discussed in the video. The concept of 'exposure therapy' is introduced as a method to build confidence by gradually facing challenging scenarios.

05:03

🗣️ Mastering the Art of Persuasion

The second paragraph delves into Tommy Shelby's persuasive tactics, emphasizing his use of 'state-breaking questions' to disrupt the conversational flow and regain control. It contrasts passive acceptance of conversational pace with the proactive approach Tommy takes, which involves steering the conversation in a new direction. The paragraph also touches on the importance of aligning one's needs with those of others to achieve mutual benefits. It provides examples from the show and suggests practical applications in real-life situations, such as forming relationships with mentors or influencers by offering specific help rather than generic requests.

10:04

🔄 Turning Adversity into Advantage

The final paragraph highlights Tommy Shelby's unique ability to transform negative situations into opportunities. It illustrates this with examples from the show where Tommy turns a failed assassination attempt into a strategic advantage and uses a difficult situation to fake a friend's death, creating a hidden asset. The paragraph encourages viewers to reframe challenges as resources and suggests a mindset shift where undesirable circumstances can be leveraged for personal gain. It concludes with a promotion for a course called 'Charisma University,' which promises to help individuals build social power and confidence quickly, and includes testimonials from satisfied users.

Keywords

💡Confidence

Confidence refers to a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's skills, abilities, or qualities. In the video, confidence is a central theme as it discusses how to emulate Tommy Shelby's demeanor in high-pressure situations. The script mentions that Tommy's calm and collected attitude, even in the face of danger, is a key aspect of his confidence, which unsettles his adversaries and allows him to navigate challenging scenarios effectively.

💡Exposure Therapy

Exposure therapy is a psychological treatment method that involves gradually and safely confronting a person's fears or anxieties to help them overcome them. The video script uses the concept to explain how Tommy Shelby developed his calm demeanor, suggesting that through repeated exposure to life-threatening situations, he learned to remain composed. The script implies that similar strategies can be applied to build confidence in one's own life by facing less challenging versions of feared scenarios.

💡State-Breaking Questions

State-breaking questions are unexpected or unusual questions that disrupt the flow of a conversation or a person's mental state. In the video, Tommy Shelby uses these questions to assert control in conversations, especially when he is at a disadvantage. The script gives examples where Tommy asks seemingly irrelevant questions to interrupt the power dynamic and steer the conversation in a direction that benefits him.

💡Persuasion

Persuasion is the art of influencing people's actions or beliefs. The video discusses Tommy's ability to persuade others, even when they have reasons to be against him. It highlights the use of state-breaking questions, aligning needs with others, and understanding the other person's perspective as key tools in persuasion. The script illustrates this with examples of Tommy convincing others to join his cause by appealing to their self-interest.

💡Carrot and Stick

The 'carrot and stick' approach refers to a strategy of offering both rewards (the carrot) and threats (the stick) to motivate someone to act in a certain way. The video script explains that Tommy Shelby uses this method to ensure people are fully committed to his plans. He provides incentives for cooperation and outlines the consequences of non-compliance, as demonstrated in the script when he offers both a luxurious stay at a hotel and a veiled threat to secure someone's cooperation.

💡Turning Trash into Resources

This concept refers to the ability to transform negative or undesirable situations into opportunities or advantages. The video script uses this to describe Tommy Shelby's unique skill of not just overcoming setbacks but using them to create better outcomes than if the setbacks had not occurred. For instance, when faced with a failed assassination attempt on his brother, Tommy uses the situation to spread disinformation, gaining strategic advantages.

💡Non-Reactive Demeanor

A non-reactive demeanor is characterized by a calm and unresponsive attitude, especially in stressful situations. The video emphasizes this as a foundational aspect of Tommy Shelby's confidence. It suggests that by not overreacting, Tommy maintains control and is better able to apply other strategies. The script contrasts this with the natural tendency to go with the flow under pressure, which can lead to a loss of power in negotiations.

💡Alignment of Needs

Alignment of needs refers to the strategy of persuading others by showing how their interests align with one's own. The video script discusses how Tommy Shelby is effective in getting others to cooperate by appealing to their self-interests rather than abstract concepts like honor. This is illustrated in the script where Tommy convinces another faction to join him by highlighting mutual benefits, rather than moral reasons.

💡Emotional State

Emotional state refers to the current mood or feelings of an individual. The video script mentions that Tommy Shelby is adept at managing his own emotions and those of others. For example, he uses state-breaking questions to disrupt the emotional state of others, allowing them to consider new perspectives. This is crucial in persuasion, as it can help move someone from a state of resistance to one of openness.

💡Deception

Deception is the act of misleading or concealing the truth. The video script highlights Tommy Shelby's use of deception as a strategic tool, such as faking the death of a friend to create a hidden asset. This tactic is shown to be effective in the narrative, as it allows Tommy to gain an advantage by making the most of a difficult situation, turning it into a resource that others overlook.

💡Resourcefulness

Resourcefulness is the ability to find quick and clever ways to overcome difficulties. The video script praises Tommy Shelby's resourcefulness, particularly his capacity to convert negative events into advantageous situations. This is exemplified in the script by his response to challenges, such as a failed assassination attempt, which he uses to his strategic benefit, showcasing his innovative thinking under pressure.

Highlights

Tommy Shelby's calm demeanor in high-pressure situations is a key aspect of his confidence.

Exposure to challenging situations helps develop a calm response to stress.

State-breaking questions can disrupt one-sided conversations and reassert control.

Aligning one's needs with others can be an effective persuasion strategy.

Understanding the other person's perspective is crucial for successful negotiations.

Providing both a reward and a consequence can be a powerful motivator.

Tommy Shelby's ability to turn negative situations into advantages is a unique trait.

Recontextualizing a bad situation can turn it into a valuable resource.

Charisma University's course offers a step-by-step program to improve confidence and charisma.

The course has helped thousands of people from various backgrounds enhance their social power.

Students have reported life-changing experiences after taking the course.

The course offers a 60-day money-back guarantee for risk-free trial.

Joining the course can lead to significant breakthroughs in personal development.

The course content is designed to unleash hidden confidence and charisma.

The video provides insights on how to apply Tommy Shelby's strategies in real life.

Transcripts

Tommy Shelby is Stone Cold confident and

seemingly Fearless so in this video

we're going to break down what you can

learn from him to be confident in those

high pressure situations in your own

life also the original version of this

video was banned by YouTube which is why

you might recognize this re-uploaded

updated version please don't banish

Again YouTube Spoilers through season

five to follow first off perhaps the

most noticeable thing about Tommy is

that he rarely overreacts in situations

of extreme pressure

you tell me what he is

Tommy's calm non-reactive demeanor is

extremely unsettling to his adversaries

but even more important it's in this

remaining calm that he's able to put

into practice all of the other

strategies that we're discussing in this

video so this piece is foundational now

Tommy wasn't born cool as a cucumber

none of us are he developed this trait

through repeated exposure to

life-threatening situations first in the

war and then over and over and over

again in the course of his rise as a

gangster the same principle applies in

our lives if we want to remain calm in

certain situations the most reliable way

isn't simply by focusing on keeping a

straight face or a deadpan stare in fact

the more you think about your facial

expressions when you're nervous the more

likely you are to actually blush so even

though people notice the unflinching

face the best way to get there is

through what's called exposure therapy

essentially you put yourself into less

challenging simulations of whatever

difficult scenario you're about to face

so if you're going to interview doing a

mock interview with a friend or even

touring the building that you'll be

interviewing in can go a long way to

calming your nerves on the big day or if

you want to be more comfortable in

social situations saying a single extra

sentence to a service person can

challenge you without triggering total

panic but Tommy's experience also shows

us what happens if you expose yourself

to overwhelming situations rather than

gradations of slightly more challenging

ones now outsmarting people requires

more than just composure Tommy often has

to persuade people that have every

reason to hate him and he exhibits three

powerful tools that regularly keep him

in control the first is his use of State

breaking questions watch so the Odd

Fellows want you to know that any

deviation from your instructions will

have consequences

what's your dog's name

when we're under pressure our natural

response is to go with the flow and

passively accept the conversational Pace

set by someone who's in a position of

power over us however in doing so we

surrender our power during that

conversation which in a negotiation

usually leads to an unfavorable deal

this state-breaking question is a

seemingly out of place question that

breaks the one-sided conversational flow

and from there conversation is much

easier to steer in a New Direction in

this case Tommy uses it to assert his

power despite the fact that he is

imprisoned you visited your sister right

what's your name boy

interestingly when Tommy does have power

he doesn't allow others to divert it

away with their own state-breaking

questions he simply continues down his

original path rather than answering them

furthermore here's a criminal profile to

make his actions explicable to the

police as is when did you worry about

the police

Bonnie Thomason

is going to kill an MP your life you

probably don't want to use this to

introduce threats into a conversation

but it can be an incredibly persuasive

tool especially when someone's emotional

state is preventing them from moving

forward productively for instance if

someone is feeling upset asking a random

lighthearted question can snap their

state for long enough for them to

consider more empowering possibilities

and we saw this in the video that we did

on Tony Robbins getting people out of

depression what makes you hate yourself

is it the red shoes

what is it the red shoes

I know are you sure that's a red

now a simple question isn't going to

instantly put someone on your side in

fact other people can be counted on to

continue to pursue their own agendas

which is why we often see Tommy get what

he wants by finding a way to align his

needs with the other persons watch here

as Tommy tries to convince another

faction to join him in a war against the

Italians he doesn't appeal to honor or

to doing what's right but to doing

what's good for Alfie Solomon if the

Italians win then I'm planning on

leaving not to me it'll be him and then

you Mafia nothing like it is

still there liquor and it's against the

law

now in order to do this effectively you

cannot imagine that other people want

the same things as you you must try to

First view the world from their

perspective now I know this may sound

obvious but so few people follow this

advice instead they offer others what

they would want never getting anywhere

so before offering help you need to make

sure you understand the other person's

World which is why Tommy comes to these

meetings already understanding the

position and temperament of the person

that he's going to be speaking to

Distillery provides one tenth of your

income

protection is another 10 percent of the

rest you might memorize drugs

and now you keep a gun in the draw and

now you keep it beside the whiskey I

know you offered a day in our death and

if after all of your research on someone

you're still unclear on what they want

you can always just ask them in the

course of conversation I want to know

what you want one concrete area that you

can put this to use in your own life

isn't connecting with someone that you

might like as a mentor say a CEO an

influencer whoever the internet makes it

easier than ever to get in touch with

these people but it also means that they

get more of these requests than ever

before so rather than the typical let's

chat over coffee research a particular

problem they may have and then offer to

meet to discuss how specifically you can

help this is a much much more effective

way to start that relationship but be

even Beyond this particular scenario the

point is that one of the best ways to

get what you want is to seriously

consider how you can get other people

what they want now this brings us to the

next point when Tommy really needs

something done he doesn't just solve

someone's problem he gives both the

carrot and the stick which is a much

stronger motivation when you're trying

to affect large changes watch the nature

of the deal is explaining my proposal I

booked you a sweet at the Midland Hotel

if you need anything in this city I just

mention my name is also in the envelope

there's a check

500 pounds for your wife

you can use it to buy a black dress and

to Black Horse with black feathers to

pull a black Carriage with your body in

it should you break the terms of the

White Flag some people are motivated

more by the prospect of gaining

something others by the fear of losing

something and all of us are motivated

when there is a particular path that

assuages both of those desires which is

why Tommy makes sure to hit on both

whenever he needs someone to be all in

on one of his plans you can see it again

here this time he does it in reverse

order if those guns we spell fast

your life in the force is over

when I've achieved what I've set out to

achieve

I will let you know where to find the

guns

you'll be a hero you'll probably get a

medal this is a far superior persuasive

strategy than simply commanding or

threatening people and it's incredibly

helpful when you're trying to inspire

any group of people so whether it's in

school or work when there's a team of

people that you're trying to move

towards a common goal or if it's in

business when you're trying to explain

the value of a product that you're

selling don't just talk about what

someone can gain if they follow your

vision but instead on what they might

miss out if they don't now this takes us

to the last piece which is truly what

makes Tommy Shelby so unique and

probably why so many people love him and

it's his ability to turn trash into

resources lemons into lemonades as the

phrase commonly says but I wouldn't

actually use that phrase because it's

most often used to describe making the

best of a bad situation in Tommy's case

he makes a bad situation better than if

it had never happened in the first place

for example when there's a failed

assassination attempt on his brother's

life he doesn't just look at the bright

side of things that his brother mother

is alive he uses that attempt to spread

disinformation telling everyone that

Arthur his brother is dead which buys

him time to recuperate and then

eventually surprise and kill that

season's big Baddie Luka chandreta

similarly Tommy is told that he needs to

kill his friend Danny whizbing to avoid

all-out war with the Italian gangsters

clearly a bad situation but he makes it

work out better than if he didn't have

to by using it as an opportunity to fake

dany's death which gets him a man who

can operate in London without anyone

even looking for him and it also gets

him a hiding place for the guns that he

stole at the beginning of the season the

supposed grave of his friend a place

that no one would even think of looking

now this might seem like it could only

work in his scripted dramas but this

strategy of turning trash into resources

is how some of the most elegant and

Brilliant Solutions are created in the

real world the point is the bad things

in your life may only appear bad in a

particular context if you could put

those things into a completely new and

different context you can turn something

that everyone else overlooked into a

valuable resource so an extremely

powerful question to ask when you're

frustrated or you wish a circumstance

wasn't the case is how can the thing

that I least want become valuable

towards another goal of mine and if

you're looking for more guidance on

building Social Power quickly you might

like to check out our course Charisma

University it is a step-by-step program

for making huge strides in your

confidence and Charisma in less than 30

days guaranteed over 15 000 viewers like

you have joined and here's what just a

few of them have to say my biggest

breakthrough has been gaining more

confidence if you knew me a year ago

you'd see a socially awkward guy but

that same guy had hidden confidence and

Charisma that has now been Unleashed if

you're reading this or listening right

now think about who you want to be in

the air this course will teach you how

to be that person another young man used

it in his school and says the YouTube

videos are great but the courses are

amazing ever since I first started I've

gotten to know so many other people and

their friends so many opportunities have

opened up to me I've been invited to so

many Hangouts and it has been amazing

and finally your course has been

life-changing to the point where I wake

up in the mornings feeling like I've

been transferred to a new person's body

the person I kept dreaming about

becoming before I found Charisma on

command it is incredible I found myself

and I found what makes me happy and you

can see more comments like those if you

decide to join the course in the

comments underneath the videos if you do

so you have a full 60-day money-back

guarantee for any reason which means you

have plenty of time to go through the

course get all the value see a

transformation in your life and then

decide if it was worth it otherwise you

can get a refund so if you want to join

click the link on screen right now or in

the description below we've had

thousands of people men women introverts

extroverts get a ton of value from this

course and I would love for you to do

the same I hope you decide to join but

either way I hope that you've enjoyed

this video and I look forward to seeing

you in the next one