Restorative Practices to Resolve Conflict/Build Relationships: Katy Hutchison at TEDxWestVancouverED

Summary

In this inspiring talk, the speaker shares personal stories of dealing with both minor and major life disruptions, emphasizing the importance of community and moral responsibility in addressing messes. She recounts a childhood incident involving her father's scissors, which taught her about honesty and repairing mistakes. Following the tragic loss of her husband, she advocates for restorative justice over punitive measures, illustrating her journey with the man convicted of his murder. The speaker passionately argues for the integration of restorative practices in education to foster empathy, respect, and problem-solving, ultimately shaping compassionate and responsible individuals.

Takeaways

• 🌍 The speaker emphasizes the moral responsibility we have to address problems and 'mess' in our shared world, suggesting that community involvement is crucial.
• 🔧 The speaker shares two stories, one about a small personal mistake and another about a larger tragedy, to illustrate the power of community and personal responsibility.
• ✂️ A childhood incident involving the misuse of her father's scissors teaches the speaker about honesty, respect for others' property, and the importance of making amends.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The speaker's approach to parenting, influenced by her father's values, focuses on discussing behavior and its impact, rather than simply punishing children.
• 🏥 A tragic event where the speaker's husband dies leads to a profound personal crisis, prompting her to find a way to move forward positively despite the circumstances.
• 🚔 The community's silence following her husband's death and the lack of cooperation with the police investigation highlight the complexities and challenges of dealing with tragedy.
• 🤝 The speaker's decision to meet with the person responsible for her husband's death demonstrates her commitment to understanding, forgiveness, and restorative justice.
• 🌱 The concept of restorative justice is introduced as an alternative to punitive measures, focusing on repairing harm and relationships within a community.
• 🏫 The speaker advocates for the use of restorative practices in educational settings to foster a sense of community, problem-solving skills, and positive behavior among students.
• 🌟 The speaker concludes by encouraging the adoption of restorative practices in various settings to enrich relationships and create a more compassionate and understanding community.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's talk?

The main theme of the speaker's talk is the importance of community, responsibility, and the power of restorative practices in education and personal growth.

What does the speaker believe is our moral responsibility when we encounter a mess?

The speaker believes that when we encounter a mess, we have a moral responsibility to roll up our sleeves and clean it up, and in doing so, we may find power and possibility.

Why did the speaker's father not want the family to use his beard trimming scissors?

The speaker's father did not want the family to use his beard trimming scissors because they were special to him, used only for his personal grooming, and he wanted to maintain their specific purpose and condition.

What lesson did the speaker learn from her father about honesty and responsibility?

The speaker learned from her father that honesty and respecting others' property and feelings are important. When she damaged his scissors, he taught her to take responsibility, clean the scissors, and understand the impact of her actions.

How did the speaker's approach to discipline with her children differ from the traditional 'time out' method?

The speaker's approach, called 'time in,' involved sitting down with her children to discuss their behavior, its impact on the family, and finding ways to make things better, rather than isolating them as in the 'time out' method.

What was the tragic event that the speaker had to face, and how did it affect her family?

The tragic event the speaker faced was the death of her husband, Bob, who was killed by a neighbor's son while checking on their home. This event deeply affected her family, leaving her as a single parent to her children.

Why did the speaker choose to meet with the person responsible for her husband's death?

The speaker chose to meet with the person responsible to understand the circumstances that led to the act, to express the impact on her family, and to seek a path of healing and accountability, rather than focusing on vengeance.

What is restorative justice, and how does it differ from the conventional justice system?

Restorative justice is a model that focuses on repairing the harm caused by crime, rather than simply punishing the offender. It involves the victim, the offender, and the community in the process of healing and making amends, unlike the conventional system which focuses on punishment.

How did the speaker's experience with restorative justice influence her views on education?

The speaker's experience led her to believe that restorative practices, which emphasize relationship-building, problem-solving, and community involvement, should be integrated into educational settings to foster a sense of community, empathy, and responsibility among students.

What advice does the speaker give to educators and parents regarding restorative practices?

The speaker advises educators and parents to engage in restorative practices such as having regular 'circle times' for discussion and problem-solving, which can enrich relationships and foster a sense of community and responsibility among students.