How Picking Up Women Changed My Life As a Super Shy Guy
Summary
TLDREugene Choy shares his transformative journey from a shy, socially anxious individual to a confident man through the art of pickup and seduction. Initially struggling with rejection and embarrassment, he persevered, learning to handle social pressure and rejection. Over 12 years, he improved his social skills, engaging with hundreds of women, and discovered the true power of emotional resilience and social freedom, which he considers the key to overcoming life's challenges.
Takeaways
- 😀 Eugene Choy's life was transformed by learning the art of pickup and seduction.
- 🤔 He grew up as a shy and quiet person, struggling with social anxiety and difficulty in social interactions.
- 🕵️♂️ In 2012, at the age of 20, he discovered the pickup community and started his journey to improve his social skills.
- 🎥 He was inspired by videos of pickup artists and believed in the possibility of becoming a socially adept person.
- 🤯 The initial phase of his journey was challenging, with numerous rejections and embarrassing moments.
- 💪 Despite the difficulties, he persevered and continued to work on his skills, eventually seeing improvements in his interactions.
- 🌟 After three months, he began to receive positive responses and had his first sexual encounter, validating his efforts.
- 📈 Over 12 years, he has improved significantly but acknowledges there is still room for growth in his abilities.
- 🔢 He has had experiences with a variety of women, mostly average in attractiveness, but is now aiming higher.
- 🧘 The journey has taught him emotional resilience, perseverance, and the importance of being at ease in social situations.
- 💡 The ultimate lesson he learned is the value of emotional resilience and equanimity, which he considers the key to true social freedom.
Q & A
What was Eugene Choy's initial personality trait before engaging in the pickup community?
-Eugene Choy was a very shy and quiet person who had difficulty even saying hi to immediate family members and making eye contact with them.
What year did Eugene Choy start his journey in the pickup community?
-Eugene Choy started his journey in the pickup community in 2012.
What was the first major impact of the pickup community on Eugene's beliefs about social skills and women?
-The first major impact was that it shattered his previous beliefs and opened his mind to new possibilities, giving him hope that he could become a normal social person.
How did Eugene initially approach learning the art of pickup?
-Eugene immediately threw himself into the deep end of the pool known as 'game', learning to approach complete strangers, primarily females, and attempting to flirt with them.
What were some of the challenges Eugene faced during his early attempts at pickup?
-He faced challenges such as not knowing what to say, stumbling in conversations, feeling embarrassed, sweating profusely, turning red, and having trouble maintaining eye contact.
How did Eugene's experiences with rejection and failure influence his persistence in the pickup community?
-Despite the rejections and failures, Eugene remembered his first miserable 20 years and used that as motivation to not go back to his old lifestyle, which led him to persevere.
What was the turning point for Eugene in his pickup journey that made him believe in the possibility of success?
-The turning point was about 3 months into his journey when he started getting somewhat good reactions from some girls, which proved to him that success was possible.
How has the pickup community helped Eugene in terms of his emotional resilience and social skills?
-The pickup community helped Eugene learn to handle rejection, persevere in adversity, push through feelings of hopelessness, and handle extreme social pressure.
What is Eugene's current status in his pickup journey after 12 years?
-After 12 years, Eugene still finds himself to be pretty lackluster but acknowledges that he has come far from where he started and continues to work on improving his skills.
What does Eugene consider the real lesson or superpower he has gained from his pickup journey?
-Eugene considers emotional resilience and being at ease in his own body, especially when engaging with other people, as the real superpower he has gained from his journey.
What is Eugene's perspective on the importance of being at ease within one's own body according to his pickup experiences?
-Eugene believes that being at ease within one's own body is crucial for true social freedom and avoiding the need for outside substances or activities as crutches to avoid feelings or experiences.
Outlines
😀 Overcoming Shyness Through Pickup Artistry
Eugene Choy shares his personal journey of transformation from a shy and quiet individual to learning the art of pickup and seduction. He describes his initial social anxiety and the significant change that began in 2012 when he discovered the pickup community. This community offered him skills to attract women for various relationships. Despite his introverted nature, Eugene was determined not to remain a virgin and socially isolated, leading him to explore pickup techniques through YouTube videos. He was inspired by the possibility of becoming a socially adept person and began to practice these skills immediately.
😳 The Challenges of Becoming a Pickup Artist
Eugene recounts the immense challenges he faced as he began to approach and flirt with strangers, primarily women, in various public settings. His initial attempts were fraught with embarrassment, awkwardness, and rejection. He struggled with maintaining eye contact, speaking coherently, and dealing with negative reactions, including being told off by the women or their companions. Despite these setbacks, Eugene persisted, driven by his desire to escape his previous life of social anxiety and isolation.
🚀 Progress and First Success in the Pickup Community
After several months of relentless practice and facing numerous rejections, Eugene started to see improvements in his social interactions. He began to receive more positive responses from women, and eventually, he had his first sexual encounter, which validated his efforts and the effectiveness of the pickup skills he was learning. This success marked a significant milestone in his journey, proving to him that perseverance and practice could lead to tangible results.
🤔 Reflections on Growth and the Broader Impact of Pickup Artistry
Eugene reflects on his 12-year journey in the pickup community, acknowledging the progress he has made from his initial social ineptitude to having had numerous sexual encounters. While he admits that most of his experiences were with women he rated as average or below, he emphasizes the value of the personal growth he has achieved. He discusses the importance of emotional resilience and the ability to be at ease in social situations, which he considers the true superpower gained from his experiences. Eugene also contemplates the broader implications of his journey, noting that even those with typical social development face challenges, such as high divorce rates.
💪 The Pursuit of Emotional Resilience and Social Freedom
In the final paragraph, Eugene discusses his ongoing pursuit of attracting higher-rated women and the importance of emotional resilience, or equanimity, as the ultimate goal of his journey. He sees social freedom as the ability to be comfortable in one's own body and emotions, regardless of the social context. Eugene acknowledges that this journey has been a source of joy and personal development, and he expresses gratitude for the lessons learned and the community that supported his transformation.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Pickup
💡Seduction Community
💡Social Anxiety
💡Rejection
💡Emotional Resilience
💡Perseverance
💡Dating Apps
💡Social Freedom
💡Equanimity
💡Mind [__]
💡Inadequacy
Highlights
Eugene Choy's transformative journey from a shy individual to learning the art of pickup and seduction.
The initial 20 years of social anxiety and the pivotal moment in 2012 that led to discovering the pickup community.
The revelation of witnessing pickup artists in action and the profound impact on his beliefs about social skills and women.
Eugene's decision to immerse himself in the challenging world of pickup, despite his inexperience and fear.
The difficulty and embarrassment faced during the initial attempts at approaching and flirting with strangers.
The perseverance through numerous rejections and the determination not to revert to his former introverted lifestyle.
The breakthrough after three months of practice and the first successful sexual encounter, validating the possibility of improvement.
The ongoing journey of self-improvement, including the use of dating apps to expand social skills.
Eugene's reflection on his progress over 12 years in the pickup community and the realization of his limitations.
The acknowledgment of having slept with hundreds of women, yet recognizing the average attractiveness of these encounters.
The deeper lesson of emotional resilience and learning to handle rejection and adversity.
The importance of equanimity and being at ease in one's own body, both alone and in social situations.
The concept of true social freedom and its relation to emotional resilience in various social scenarios.
Eugene's insights on overcoming the need for external validation and developing inner peace.
The acknowledgment of the prevalence of unhappy relationships and the perspective that his past social struggles were not as detrimental as perceived.
Eugene's aspirations to continue improving and attracting higher quality partners in his pickup journey.
The closing thoughts on the joy of playing the game and the gratitude towards the pickup community for the personal growth experienced.
Transcripts
hello my name is Eugene
Choy and what I want to talk about
today is
how learning to pick up women
has completely changed my
life I grew up being a very shy and
quiet
person for most of my
life for the first 20 years of my
life I had difficulty
even saying
hi to immediate family
members let alone even make eye contact
with
them and again it's been like this for
the first 20 years of my
life that is
until in 2012
I discovered the art of
pickup and the seduction Community where
guys like
me can learn various
skills and work on
them to
attract the women that they want to
sleep with
have a relationship
with or create whatever
possibility that one can
imagine with said
women now before I get
into my pickup
journey I also want to mention how the
first 20 years of my life
living as a very shy and quiet
person who totally afraid
of being around
people just severe social
anxiety it was an
overall a pretty mundane boring but also
somewhat miserable
existence I often wondered
if this is just how I
am and this is
just how I'm going to live for the rest
of my
life but then else knew that this
is not something I
can
continue I didn't want to continue
living this
way and essentially die a
virgin never
having talk to anyone let
alone have sex with
anyone so going into my pickup journey
in 2012 at age
20
I
discovered some videos
on
YouTube for the first time in my life
witnessing
footage of so-called pickup
artists
literally from saying
hello to a complete stranger female
stranger to having sex with her
within several minutes of meeting her
it was one of the biggest mind [ __ ] of
my
life to
witness such a thing it totally
shattered
my beliefs and reality
around women
and
social skills in general
it opened my mind
to
possibilities for the first time in my
life I had a glimmer of
hope that
maybe if I work really hard at
this this pickup
thing then I too
could eventually
become a normal social person
who has sex
regularly and
so I began my
journey
by immediately throwing myself in to the
deep end of
the
pool known as
game essentially I was learning how
to run before I
walk
and picture this going from someone who
couldn't make eye
contact or say hello to even people I
know going from that to approaching
complete
strangers primarily
females and attempting to flirt with
them to have sex with
them I mean that's
just a big jump and even that's an
understatement I was asking a lot of
Myself by throwing myself into the deep
end but I
did as soon as I discovered the pickup
community and watched some
videos I was inspired
to start hitting the is right
away
I talked
to cold
approach women everywhere I could there
were no
limits whether it
was my college
campus cafes
stores grocery stores
libraries
restaurants frat parties bars
clubs you name
it and as one could
imagine it was extremely
difficult I had no idea what to say
I stumbled and fell flat on my
face I was so
embarrassed in every interaction I was
sweating
profusely turning extremely red and
heating up to the point where my glasses
totally fogged
up I
stuttered a
lot still of course had trouble
maintaining eye
contact and this of course naturally
creeped out a lot of the girls that I
called
approached I've been told to [ __ ] off
I've Been Told
to [ __ ] off by the girl's
boyfriend sometimes their mother or
father I've been
ignored I've
been called Security
on I've been even
called the cops on
it was definitely a challenging phase in
my life especially the first few
months since I discovered
pickup
I felt often very
hopeless I wanted to
go back
to living an introverted
lifestyle watching movies and TV shows
alone in my
room I was really tempted to go back to
my comfort
zone
because I was not getting the results I
wanted at first
I was primarily getting rejected with
bad reactions and I
felt very
inadequate even more
inadequate than before I discovered
pickup however
I
remembered the first miserable 20 years
of my life where I was still a virgin
and didn't
know how to say hi
or make contact I make eye contact with
others I just couldn't go back to
that so I kept persevering
I used sheer
will
to power through and
continue working on these so-called
pickup
skills and sure
enough about 3 months in I finally
saw the light at the end of the
tunnel I be to get somewhat good
reactions some girls
were reciprocating and being receptive
to my
advances
and eventually I had my first
s now granted she was
a a 4 out of 10
but
nonetheless it was
another mind [ __ ] moments
because when I had sex with this
girl it totally
proved to me
that this shit's possible
that I can actually work on this
thing and get better at
it and I
did got my first
lay followed by many many more
lays I kept
improving I began to use dating apps as
well which also furthered
my experience in the
game and eventually I would go on to
sleep
with
hundreds of
women
now I've been in the game since 2012
which makes it 12
years it's 2024 now
now being in the game 12
years I still find myself to
be pretty
lackluster as far
as or should I say considering how long
I've been in the
game I've slept with only a few six out
of 10 but
Mo most of those girls those few hundred
girls that I slept with
were average at best five out of
10 a handful of them being even below
that
but I want to mention
that yes I have come very
far considering where I came from
but I also have a lot of work to
do and it's apparent
that I'm not particularly gifted in
this
area but it doesn't matter because the
insights
and lessons I picked up along the way
are invaluable
I've learned to handle
rejection I've learned to
persevere in the midst of
adversity I've learned to keep pushing
through
despite feelings and thoughts of
hopelessness
arising I've learned to
handle extreme social pressure dealing
with all kinds
of interesting
obstacles during my pickup
journey I am forever grateful for the
pickup community
and the journey it has provided for me
I've I don't feel inadequate in any way
anymore
and I know this logically
because a lot of neurotypical or should
I say normal people who had a normal
social
upbringing even even they have their own
[Music]
struggles in the US at least 60% of
marriages end in divorce statistically
speaking and mind you that's not
including
separations and unhappy miserable
marriages so I don't think I missed out
on much
being a socially inet person for the
first 20 years of my
life and right now in my pickup journey
I want to attract be able to attract
more
sixes on the
regular and and eventually long term I
want to get to the
sevens and so on and so
forth but I also want to mention
that this whole journey goes
beyond getting laid or
attracting gorgeous
women the
real lesson here is
emotional
resilience
and learning to be at
ease in my own
body not just when I'm
alone but when I'm around other
people and not only that but while I'm
engaging with other
people through myriads of activities
with them
I think that's the real
superpower I've always felt comfortable
alone but being at ease and
comfortable
while engaging with the people around
me now to me that's a [ __ ] Flex
and that's true
power true social
freedom is the bottom line
here and true social Freedom again goes
back to emotional
resilience in any social situation that
may arise
because again the bottom line is
that whatever addiction that we have
that we don't
want is the result of not being at ease
within our own body so we look
to outside substances or people or
even so-called healthy activities like
the
gym or even
meditation we use it as a crutch to
avoid feeling what we're feeling now or
experiencing what we're experiencing
now and
developing that emotional resilience or
another word to describe it is equin
is I think the biggest
Insight that I got from this entire
thing and it's something that I will
continue working on and building
on possibly the rest of my
life and it's
absolutely been a joy
to play that game
thank you for
watching until next time
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