The Real Reason You Haven't Beaten Your Addictions Yet

Summary

This video script offers encouragement and strategies for overcoming addiction. It begins with a personal story of battling technology and porn addiction, then delves into psychological theories from psychoanalysis, neuroscience, and evolutionary psychology to explain why addictions are so compelling. The script suggests that self-awareness, introspection, and creating a life of meaning and responsibility are key to breaking free from addiction. It also provides practical steps for withdrawal and crafting a vision for an ideal life, emphasizing the importance of self-respect and support from others on the same journey.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The speaker expresses pride in the audience for seeking help to overcome addiction, emphasizing that watching the video is a step towards beating it.
• 📚 The video covers three psychological theories of addiction: psychoanalysis, neuroscience, and evolutionary psychology, to provide context for understanding addiction.
• 👥 The speaker shares personal experiences with addiction, including technology and porn addiction, to build rapport and illustrate the struggle with overcoming habits.
• 🕰 Andrew Huberman's concept of 'time murdering' is introduced, suggesting that addictions offer an escape from the reality of mortality and the finite nature of time.
• 🧠 Neuroscientific research by Kent Berridge differentiates between 'liking' and 'wanting', explaining how addiction can drive us to pursue rewards despite decreased pleasure.
• 🧬 Evolutionary psychology suggests that addiction patterns are learned behaviors reinforced by rewards, and modern substances and technologies can hijack our brain's reward systems.
• 💡 The video proposes that a lack of self-awareness and introspection can fuel addiction, as it allows the behavior to take on a life of its own, compelling further engagement.
• 🔍 To combat addiction, the first solution is to increase self-awareness and introspection to understand the root causes and purposes that the addiction serves.
• 📈 The second solution is to build a life of meaning and take on responsibilities that provide reasons to avoid engaging in addictive behaviors.
• 🚫 The process of overcoming addiction involves withdrawal, which can be challenging but is a necessary step for the brain to rewire and move past the addictive behavior.
• 🛠 Crafting a vision for an ideal life and integrating positive changes into daily habits are crucial for sustaining change and preventing relapse into addiction.

Q & A

What is the speaker's personal experience with addiction?

The speaker has personally battled with technology addiction and porn addiction since the age of 18. They experienced a grueling battle with a 5-year habit, which they eventually overcame in 2018, only to relapse after a relationship ended and found themselves using addiction as a coping mechanism.

What are the three psychological theories discussed in the script related to addiction?

The script discusses theories from psychoanalysis, neuroscience, and evolutionary psychology. The psychoanalytic theory is Freud's death drive, the neuroscience theory discusses the difference between wanting and liking, and the evolutionary psychology theory explains addiction as a pattern of learning reward and punishment.

How does the concept of 'time murdering' relate to addiction?

The concept of 'time murdering' describes the desire to escape the reality of our mortality and finite time. Addictions provide an illusion of having all the time in the world, allowing individuals to avoid confronting their eventual death, which can lead to feelings of despair, depression, and guilt.

What does the speaker mean by the 'death drive' in the context of addiction?

The 'death drive' or 'Todestrieb' is a psychoanalytic theory by Freud suggesting that humans have an instinctual drive towards pain and self-destruction. In the context of addiction, it can be interpreted as a self-sabotaging behavior that stems from an imbalance between the death drive and the pleasure principle.

How does the speaker explain the difference between 'wanting' and 'liking' in the context of addiction?

The speaker explains that 'wanting' is the motivation or urge to pursue a reward, driven by dopamine, while 'liking' is the pleasure derived from the experience itself. In addiction, there can be a mismatch where the individual continues to want the addictive behavior even though they no longer like it due to desensitization.

What is the evolutionary psychology perspective on addiction presented in the script?

The evolutionary psychology perspective suggests that addiction is a result of a mismatch between our biological reward systems and the environment we live in. Modern substances and technologies hijack our reward circuitry, providing intense dopamine spikes that our brains are not adapted to regulate.

What are the two solutions the speaker proposes for beating addiction?

The two solutions proposed are self-awareness and introspection, and taking responsibility for one's life. Self-awareness involves understanding the root causes of the addiction, while responsibility involves creating a meaningful life that provides reasons not to engage in the addictive behavior.

What is the significance of the 'miracle' exercise mentioned in the script?

The 'miracle' exercise is a form of introspection that helps individuals envision their life after overcoming addiction. It prompts them to consider what changes they would notice and how they would feel, which can provide insights into their desires and motivations for change.

How does the speaker describe the process of withdrawal from addiction?

The speaker describes withdrawal as a necessary and challenging process where the individual experiences the opposite effects of the addiction. It involves facing discomfort and using strategies like mindfulness and setting next steps to manage the experience and prepare for a life without the addiction.

What is the role of responsibility in overcoming addiction according to the script?

According to the script, responsibility is crucial in overcoming addiction. It involves creating a life of meaning and having a sense of duty to oneself and others, which provides a strong reason to resist the pull of addiction and to prioritize long-term goals.

What are some misconceptions about addiction that the speaker wants to dispel?

The speaker wants to dispel misconceptions such as the belief that one must hit rock bottom to recover, the expectation of immediate happiness or relief, and the idea that one can instantly stop an addiction without struggle. Instead, they emphasize the importance of gradual change, self-respect, and community support.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Overcoming Addiction: A Journey of Self-Discovery

The speaker begins by expressing pride in the audience for seeking solutions to their addictions. They introduce the video's structure, which includes a personal story, three psychological theories of addiction, and two solutions for overcoming addiction. The speaker shares their own experiences with technology and porn addiction, highlighting the struggle and eventual success in overcoming these habits. They also touch on the concept of 'time murdering' as a means of escaping the reality of mortality, linking it to Freud's psychoanalytic theory of the 'death drive' or 'Thanatos', which suggests an inherent human drive towards self-destruction.

05:02

🧠 The Neuroscience of Wanting vs. Liking

This paragraph delves into the neuroscience behind addiction, differentiating between 'wanting' and 'liking' as separate processes within the brain. The speaker references Kemp's experiments with rats to illustrate that dopamine is responsible for the motivation to pursue rewards ('wanting'), not the pleasure derived from them ('liking'). They explain that 'liking' is associated with the experience of pleasure, while 'wanting' is the drive to seek out rewards. The speaker also discusses the role of the nucleus accumbens in governing these systems and how addiction can create a mismatch between the two, leading to behaviors that are pursued despite a decrease in pleasure.

10:03

🦠 Evolutionary Roots of Addiction

The speaker explores the evolutionary psychology perspective on addiction, discussing how our brains are wired to learn patterns of reward and punishment. They describe how modern substances and technologies can hijack our reward circuitry, creating an imbalance with our biological needs. The paragraph also addresses the idea that our susceptibility to addiction increases with dissatisfaction in life, suggesting that those struggling with depression, anxiety, or other challenges are more at risk. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding these patterns to effectively combat addiction.

15:05

🔑 Keys to Unlocking Addiction: Self-Awareness and Responsibility

In this paragraph, the speaker presents two key solutions for overcoming addiction: self-awareness and responsibility. They argue that addiction often serves a purpose, such as numbing pain or filling a void, and that understanding this purpose is crucial for change. The speaker encourages introspection to identify the root causes of addictive behaviors and suggests an exercise to imagine a life without the addiction. They also stress the importance of creating a meaningful life with a sense of responsibility to others, which provides a strong reason to resist the pull of addiction.

20:07

🛠 Crafting a Vision for a Life Beyond Addiction

The final paragraph focuses on the practical steps to take after identifying the purpose addiction serves in one's life. The speaker outlines a process for withdrawal and the importance of crafting a vision for an ideal life, which provides motivation to resist addictive behaviors. They discuss the necessity of going through the withdrawal process and using it as an opportunity for introspection and planning for the future. The speaker also dispels common misconceptions about addiction recovery and emphasizes the importance of self-respect, effort, and seeking support from others who are further along in their journey.

Keywords

💡Addiction

Addiction refers to a compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. In the video, addiction is the central theme, encompassing various forms such as technology, pornography, and substance abuse. The speaker's personal experiences and the psychological theories discussed all revolve around understanding and overcoming addiction.

💡Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. The video emphasizes its importance in identifying the root causes of addiction and making conscious choices to avoid falling into addictive behaviors. It is exemplified by the exercise where one imagines a miracle resolving their issues, revealing what they truly desire and value.

💡Psychoanalysis

Psychoanalysis is a method of investigating and treating psychological disorders through dialogue between a patient and psychoanalyst, exploring the unconscious mind. The video references Sigmund Freud's 'death drive' theory as a psychoanalytic perspective on why individuals might engage in self-destructive behaviors, like addiction.

💡Neuroscience

Neuroscience is the scientific study of the nervous system and brain functions. The script discusses the distinction between 'wanting' and 'liking' in the context of addiction, explaining how dopamine drives the anticipation of rewards rather than the pleasure derived from them, which is crucial for understanding the persistence of addictive behaviors.

💡Evolutionary psychology

Evolutionary psychology examines the influence of evolution on psychological processes, such as learning patterns of reward and punishment. The video uses this concept to explain how modern addictive substances and technologies exploit our brain's reward circuitry, which evolved in response to different stimuli.

💡Time murdering

Time murdering is a concept where individuals engage in activities to escape the reality of their mortality and the passage of time. The video describes addictions as a form of time murdering, providing an illusion of having unlimited time and serving as an escape from existential fears.

💡Thanatos

Thanatos, in the video, refers to the psychoanalytic concept of the 'death drive,' representing the instinct within humans to seek pain and destruction. It is tied to the idea that addiction might be a form of self-sabotage, driven by an unconscious desire towards self-destruction.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with the brain's reward system. The script explains that dopamine is responsible for the 'wanting' aspect of addiction, creating a strong motivation to pursue rewards, which can lead to a cycle of addiction as the pleasure derived from the activity decreases over time.

💡Withdrawal

Withdrawal refers to the physical and psychological symptoms experienced when reducing or stopping addictive substances or behaviors. The video acknowledges the difficulty of withdrawal as a necessary step in overcoming addiction, where the individual must face and endure the discomfort as their brain rewires.

💡Responsibility

Responsibility, in the context of the video, is the concept of being accountable for one's actions and their consequences. It is posited as a key factor in overcoming addiction, as creating a meaningful life with a sense of responsibility provides reasons to avoid engaging in addictive behaviors.

💡Self-control

Self-control is the ability to regulate one's impulses and emotions in the pursuit of long-term goals over immediate gratification. The video suggests that developing self-control is essential to managing and overcoming addiction, as it allows individuals to resist the short-term allure of addictive substances or behaviors.

Highlights

Proud acknowledgment of viewers battling addiction and encouragement for seeking solutions.

Introduction of three psychological theories to understand addiction: psychoanalysis, neuroscience, and evolutionary psychology.

Personal story of overcoming technology and porn addiction, emphasizing the struggle and eventual success.

Concept of 'time murdering' as an escape from the reality of mortality, linked to addictive behaviors.

Sigmund Freud's 'death drive' theory as a potential explanation for self-destructive addictive tendencies.

Differentiation between 'wanting' and 'liking' in the context of addiction, explained through neuroscience.

The role of dopamine in the 'wanting' system versus the pleasure derived from the 'liking' system.

Evolutionary psychology's perspective on addiction as a learned pattern of reward and punishment.

Discussion on how modern substances and technology hijack our brain's reward circuitry, leading to addiction.

Importance of self-awareness and introspection in identifying the root causes of addiction.

Exercise to envision a 'miracle' where all problems are solved to reveal underlying desires and needs.

The idea that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety but choice, emphasizing personal responsibility.

Creating a meaningful life to provide reasons to resist the pull of addiction.

Strategies for dealing with withdrawal, including Dr. Anna's dopamine acronym (D DATA) for coping.

Crafting a vision for an ideal life to motivate long-term goals and resist short-term addictive behaviors.

Debunking common myths about addiction and setting realistic expectations for recovery.

Encouragement and support for viewers in their journey to overcome addiction, emphasizing the possibility of change.

Transcripts

if you're dealing with addiction of any

sort I just want to say I'm proud of you

because despite you battling this

addiction you still manage to wake up

every morning and live your life so I'm

proud of you for that and I'm also proud

of you for clicking on this video to

help you find solutions to your

addiction that sounds strange I know

because you likely don't feel proud of

yourself for having this addiction but I

know that after this video you'll be

well on your way to beating it no doubt

about it the way this video is going to

work is we're going to cover a brief

story from me to build some Rapport

between us and then we're going to cover

three psychological theories of a

addiction one from psychoanalysis one

from neuroscience and one from

evolutionary psychology and then we're

going to get into the two solutions for

beating any addiction so if you want to

get straight to the solutions and skip

the theory feel free to check out the

timestamps in the description and Skip

straight to them but obviously as the

Creator I would recommend you watch the

whole video because the free theories

will give you much needed context but

first of all and to build a little bit

of Rapport between us let me tell you a

quick story about me since the age of 18

I've experienced Addiction on and off

the two major things I battled with were

technology addiction and porn addiction

when I was 18 I discovered something

called noap and experienced firsthand

the grueling Battle of dealing with a

5-year-old habit it took me about 90

days of continuously relapsing but in

the summer of 2018 I beat the habit for

good and over the next three years I got

into a long-term relationship and really

started to get my life back on track but

then after the relationship ended I

found myself relapsing and just using

the addiction again in order to relieve

stress I was shocked annoyed and a bit

worried that after all these years years

of abstaining I was falling back into

the slope of addiction again so in the

early months of 2022 I found myself in

an existential crisis numbing myself

with what I would put as extreme

technology use i' would be scrolling on

my phone and laptop on YouTube and

social media sites for 8 hours a day

because I wanted to avoid the emotions

that I was feeling inside and the

depression over the years I've seen many

friends succumb to addiction as well

robbing them of physical or intellectual

talents they once had and could have got

them very far in life now they're

smoking their Sorrows a way trying to

numb themselves of living a boring life

and all of these observations sparked my

curiosity to study the topic

academically I frequently read about

addiction and I study psychology and I'm

also incredibly interested in the

Neuroscience behind addiction but within

the past week I've learned some new

things about the topic which have not

only blown my mind but they're very

practical to use so this is what we're

going to turn to

Next in his podcast with Robert Green

Andrew huberman spoke about the concept

of time murdering he described it as the

full Sublime arising from our desire to

escape time and the reality that we're

finite and Mortal beings in other words

addictions no matter what they are give

us the opportunity to escape the reality

that one day we will die and instead

paint the Illusion for us that we have

all the time in the world so why not

just light up another joint spend the

day scroll in or drink your sorrows away

well because one day you'll wake up and

reflect on all the time and health

you've wasted and then your attempts to

slow down time will crumble right before

your eyes cascading you into a

NeverEnding pit of despair depression

and guilt the concept of time murdering

is quite interesting when you consider

we use phrases such as killing time and

it also aligns with an early

psychoanalytic theory from Sigman Freud

in the early 20th century the

psychoanalyst Sigman Freud came up with

an interesting Theory after he noticed

that babies who had experienced trauma

and soldiers who were returning from the

war would reenact their trauma through

their dreams and Visions he coined the

theory death drive or in German Toad

stri and famously said the goal of all

life is death now that's quite a morbid

quote but Freud argued we have two

motivating systems inside us the drive

towards pleasure and avoidance of pain

and also the drive for pain and

destruction the Death Drive theory was

later termed Thanatos and the pleasure

Drive in principle termed Eros by later

psychoanalysts Thanatos being the Greek

mythological representation of death and

AOS being the god of love and

self-preservation the Death Drive Theory

holds weight in the context of addiction

as we try to piece together why we have

such an overwhelming drive to perform a

behavior we know is bad for us something

we know will ruin our lives and wreck

havoc on our health drinking smoking

watching something you shouldn't or Doom

scrolling for the whole day but in the

light of the death drive we can

interpret such drives to do these bad

behaviors as the goal within itself

perhaps a form of self-sabotage and an

indication of an imbalance between our

death drive and our pleasure leure Drive

most interestingly it turns out this old

psychoanalytic theory that we're driven

towards things we don't necessarily like

is compatible with recent discoveries in

Neuroscience I recently read a

mindblowing article on psych.com which

describes how you can want things you

don't like and like things you don't

want let me explain in around the 1980s

a neuroscientist called Kemp ber showed

how we have different mechanisms in our

brain which Drive liking and wanting

lyen and wanting are also driven by

different chemicals in the brain wantin

is described as the motivation or urge

you have to go after a reward whereas

liking is the pleasure from The

Experience itself and in the 1980s most

neuroscientists thought that dopamine

was responsible for all pursuit of

reward but barage performed some

groundbreaking experiments on rats where

he blocked the dopamine circuit tree in

their brain meaning they were no longer

motivated to pursue rewards such as food

and sex however in another experiment he

did the exact same so blocked their

dopamine circuitry but started to

monitor the rat's facial expressions

when they were given food because it

turns out rats actually Express similar

facial expressions to us humans when

they like something such as licking

their lips sticking their tongue out or

gaping in disgust when they dislike

something so before he conducted the

experiment ber predicted that the rats

would shift from liking the food to

disliking it because their dopamine

circuitry had been blocked of course

they showed no motivation to pursue the

food and actually eat it but when he

force-fed them the food when it was in

their mouth and they were chewing it the

rats showed Expressions that they liked

what they were eating and it was at this

moment ber realized the way we

understand liking and wanting is

completely wrong to give a brief

explanation about dopamine dopamine is a

neurochemical released in your brain

which is responsible for the drive of

our wanting system through the

anticipation of rewards not because of

our enjoyment of them it's been said

dopamine is like an expert salesman but

it comes without a conscience both

wanting and liking are governed by a

part of the brain called the nuclear

succumb which is comprised of two key

areas one governing motivation and the

other which governs pleasure by

increasing the dopamine levels in a

rat's brain you can basically motivate

it to pursue most rewards even touching

an electric probe but you cannot alter

the degree to whether that rat likes

what they're doing ber coined the term

of the nuclear succumbent which governs

our lying system as honic spots and he

says they take up around 10% of this

brain region whereas the wanting system

is much more robust and it takes up

around 90% of this brain region simply

because from an evolutionary standpoint

which we'll get into next one in AIDS

our survival more than liking so have

you ever noticed you want something even

though you don't like it in the context

of addiction this is exactly how it

plays out as we engage in a behavior

more and more we start to become

desensitized to it and the pleasure we

derive from that thing starts to

decrease however our motivation to

pursue that reward increases resulting

in a mismatch between our liking and

wanting systems so the key thing to

realize here is when you choose to not

engage in something you want you're not

necessarily depriving yourself of

something that you like while we're

working we might feel an overwhelming

urge to smoke drink or scroll on our

phones but with this perspective in mind

we can understand that the anticipation

we have of the potential pay for this

Behavior will likely be underwhelming in

other words the craving is always

misleading conversely we can understand

that when we don't want to do something

that doesn't necessarily mean we won't

like it think for example exercise or

socializing you might not feel like

going for a run but that doesn't

necessarily mean that when you start

running you won't enjoy the experience

you might not want to go to that social

event but that's not to say when you're

there you'll start having a great time

and connecting with people so now we've

covered the psychoanalytic theory and a

bit of the Neuroscience behind addiction

let's see what evolutionary psychology

has to say about

it essentially the pattern of addiction

is a pattern of learning reward and

Punishment as we expose ourselves more

to The Addictive thing our brain learns

to reinforce the behavior which

preceeded the reward we got from doing

that thing and the more something seems

to Aid our biological Fitness otherwise

known as our survival the more likely

we'll do it and there's one Theory from

evolutionary psychology that really

really explains the mismatch we have

between our biology and the things we're

exposed to the dopamine spike in

substances we're exposed to on a Day-Day

basis such as drugs alcohol brain

zapping technology they're all like a

terrorist who dresses up as a pilot and

hijacks a pilot's cockpit in a plane but

the terrorist skips the navigation

systems and goes straight for the

joystick this is what all of the modern

technology and addictive substances due

to our brains reward circuitry what FY

teaches us is there's no wonder why we

fall prey to addictions in the modern

world considering this biological

mismatch between our environment and the

way our brains are wired to illustrate

this again imagine you're stuck in a

small dark 4x4 room and you're told

you'll have to spend the rest of your

days there and then one day imagine

someone slides heroin under the door

which gives your Reptilian Brain the

feedback of biological Fitness

equivalent to having 16 grandchildren

would you take it probably but of course

drugs and brain zapping technology

weren't a problem for our ancestors who

lived thousands of years years ago

because they weren't available so it

seems the two solutions to conquer

addiction from this lens are one remove

the learning system which would be

futile because learning is useful two

return to how our ancestors lived which

is just as useless as the first one in

essence our Evolution didn't account for

Addictive substances it instead made

normal rewards regulated for example

after eating too much you feel satiated

after having sex you feel fulfilled and

after socializing a lot you want to

focus your energy elsewhere Behavior

regular ation systems use carefully

controlled bursts of positive feedback

to shift behavior from one activity to

another reward for the previous activity

plummets while reward for the new one

escalates superc of the sort found in

modern environments can hijack such

systems a potato chip advertisement

challenge is bet you can't just eat one

the company wins the BET our diets lose

lastly Evy highlights how our

susceptibility to addiction increases as

our satisfaction with our life decreases

people whose lives are going badly are

more vulnerable to addiction as are

those who are plagued by depression

anxiety boredom poverty and Trauma so

now we've covered the three theories

time murdering and Freud's theory of the

death Drive the Neuroscience behind how

wanting and liking things are completely

different and some explanations from

evolutionary psychology as to why we get

addicted now let's get into the

practicalities the two reasons why you

haven't beaten your addiction yet

addictions whatever they are all have

one thing in common they reduce our

awareness of self the language people

often use around addiction is spoton for

example I just lose myself in the

addiction or I don't feel like myself

what this suggests is that your

addiction takes on a life of its own

compelling you further into the downward

spiral of the behavior and in order to

do so it hijacks your self-awareness

because if you had enough self-awareness

in the moment you feel tempted to bingi

Doom scroll Smoke Drink You wouldn't

engage in the behavior cuz you would be

able to see the consequences right in

front of you I came across this idea of

unpacking about 2 years ago when Chris

Williamson interviewed Jordan Peterson

and it goes like this imagine you scroll

on YouTube for 3 hours a day but each

time you finish scrolling on YouTube you

turn your phone off put it down and just

busy Yourself by doing something else

and although this seems harmless your

inability to dissect what's actually

going on is what's fueling your

addiction because if you actually sat

down and did some admittedly painstaking

introspection what you would find might

surprise you if you asked yourself why

you're scrolling so much and what

actions preceded you scroll in you might

discover of an evening you feel

incredibly lonely due to a lack of

socializing so scrolling allows you to

escape this uncomfortable feeling or the

actions proceding you scrolling are

fatigue and stress suggesting your

scrolling is a copin mechanism against

further uncomfortable emotions so

solution number one to your addiction

whatever it is needs to be

self-awareness and introspection you

must Purge your life and find out

exactly why you're engaging in this

Behavior do you drink because you're

socially anxious do you smoke weed

because without weed your life would be

incredibly boring and you'd have nothing

to talk about with your friends do you

numb Yourself by watching sexual content

because you're terrified of approaching

a Woman in real life there is a problem

at the root of your addiction which has

likely got hidden from you continuously

engaging the behavior and never

questioning it so there's one exercise

you can do which will help you shed

light on this and it's actually very

optimis Mystic to do first sit

comfortably with no distractions around

you begin to allow yourself to let go of

the history of your addiction forgetting

it almost then imagine this suppose in

the middle of the night when you are

fast asleep a miracle happens and all

the problems that you have today are

solved just like that since the miracle

happened overnight nobody tells you that

the miracle has happened so when you

wake up the next morning how would you

discover that the miracle happened

Everything You Ever Wanted everything

good you could ever imagine for yourself

had actually happened your life had

turned out exactly the way you want it

with that thought still in mind uncover

it by asking what are the first things

you notice what do you and others notice

around you where are you who else could

you be with what do you see what do you

smell what do you hear what do you feel

inside yourself how are you different

now I want you to think back on a

previous time in your life and ask when

have you had had these positive feelings

before when has this experience happened

in the past what was different about you

then what were you doing or thinking

differently at that time what would you

need to happen to do this again how

could you cope with your challenges

effectively are there times when you

expected to engage in this addiction but

remembered something that helped you

calm down what keeps you going who or

what is your greatest support what do

they do that is helpful what could you

do what advice would you give to someone

else who has similar problems then

repeat this imagination technique every

single day until the miracle becomes

true I'll add a PDF in the description

where you can see all of these questions

number two responsibility the opposite

of addiction isn't sobriety it's Choice

as I mentioned at the beginning I've

been battling with technology addiction

for the last seven years of my life and

the reason it's been on and off is

because of responsibility my main

observation over the last seven years of

studying addiction and seeing it in

other people is it's not surprising why

we fall prey to addictions so to resolve

your addiction you need to invert the

problem and ask why doesn't everyone

fall prey to addiction during each

period throughout my life the addiction

served a purpose at the age of 17 porn

and YouTube served the purpose of

helping me escape difficult emotions and

the reality that I felt very lonely and

depressed at the age of 22 the same

addictions distracted me from the fact

that I wasn't socializing a lot and I

was struggling reaiming back to my

culture after living abroad in those

moments of addiction I didn't have

enough responsibility or a meaningful

life which gave me sufficient reason to

not engage in those addictions for

example between the ages of 18 and 21

these addictions had no place in my life

because I was traveling experience in

the world and I was engaged in a

long-term relationship between the years

of late 2022 and late 2023 again these

addictions had no place in my life

because I was building a group of

friends I moved to a new city and I was

performing well in my job so at that the

heart of abstinence is responsibility

during my periods of abstinence I knew I

was responsible for showing up to life

not only for myself but for other people

and I knew if I pmo or I Doom scrolled

it would just ruin everything so the

second solution to battling your

addiction after first highlighting what

purpose this addiction solves is to

create a life of meaning for yourself

which you are responsible for

essentially you need to give yourself

solid reasons to not engage in that

addiction the key is to build a life

you're not trying to escape from but how

do you do that well in the same way as

you cannot instill the habit of waking

up early in the morning if you don't

give yourself a reason to wake up so too

you can't break this habit that you're

currently hooked on if you don't replace

it with a better Habit to move Beyond

addiction your desire to change your

life isn't enough regardless of whether

it's for yourself or others your desire

to change your life and live differently

needs to be integrated with positive

interventions and changes to your habits

that you can make in your life that are

not only sustainable but give you a hope

of a better future there's a common idea

that in order to recover from addiction

you need to hit rock bottom but that

isn't true because there are two steps

you can take to beat it without needing

to hit rock bottom firstly and bad news

you are going to have to gradually wean

yourself off this thing and depending on

how heavily you've been engaged in this

Behavior your withdrawal from it will be

tough during the withdrawal stage you'll

experience the complete opposite of

everything you experience when you're

engaged to in this thing for example

when you feel drunk you feel alive

bubbly and sociable during your

withdrawal you'll feel anxious lonely

and depressed when you scroll on social

media you feel happy engaged and self

forgetful when you go through withdraw

rule you'll feel lonely anxious and

groggy you cannot escape the withdrawal

stage if you want to beat this addiction

you have to go through it and the pain

you feel is literally your brain

rewiring and it will give you so many

last ditch attempts in order for you to

engage in that thing again to positively

engage the process of withdrawal use Dr

analy's framework of the dopamine

acronym D data consider what the

addiction involves what is the addiction

and how does it affect your life oh

objectives highlight your objectives for

using this thing is it to relieve pain

or anxiety for example P problems what

are the problems associated with

continued use a abstinence remove the

addictive thing from your life alog

together this also allows you to find

out if the addiction is causing you

mental disturbance on average withdrawal

can last anywhere from a few days to 2

weeks M mindfulness you need to sit with

the pain and not Escape it I Insight

gather the feedback that the withdraw

rule is given you and notice the

psychological changes that are happening

to you n next steps what is the plan

after your abstinence whether it be two

weeks or a week what are your goals e

experiment then re-enter the world and

test what works and what doesn't can you

reintroduce the behavior but within in

moderation or do you want to eradicate

it completely secondly either during the

time of withdrawal or after it you must

craft a vision for your ideal life you

want to live because again you must give

yourself adequate reasons to not engage

in the short-term pull to this addictive

thing but to prioritize your long-term

goals and dreams consider what would you

like to do what would you like to look

like and feel like how much money would

you like to earn and have in your

savings account what kind of

relationship or family would you you

like to have what experiences would you

like to have and who would you like to

share them with if you only get to live

once what impact do you want to have

while you're here what kind of person do

you want to be for the people in your

life how do you want to interact with

them and contribute to their lives how

would you spend your time differently if

you wasn't focused on your actions

coming to fruition then if you truly

want to beat this addiction and change

you must put all of your energy into

building this life and making the

miracle happen right before your eyes

lastly just to banish some unrealistic

thoughts about addiction you might have

been fed here's what you wish for and

can't have happiness or relief when you

deserve it Freedom From Fear about

life's dangers and the responsibility to

protect yourself the ability to rescue

others from addictions sometimes the

ability to stop your own addictions at

the drop of a hat at least without tons

of struggle here's what you can aim for

and actually achieve you can judge your

sobriety and self-control objectively

manage behaviors you want to to change

rather than attack yourself for having

them ignore shame and respect yourself

for what you're trying to achieve value

a good effort regardless of results

here's how you can do it Define your

standards for sober Behavior decide how

much effort shame and frustration are

worth enduring for the sake of change

accept the limits of your responsibility

for having addictions so you can take

more responsibility for managing them

get help from people who are doing the

same thing but a further along be they

friends or fellow addicts at AA or NA

meetings I truly wish you all the best

and I know that you can do this