One of the Most Unsettling Phenomena of the Human Brain

Summary

This script delves into the profound impact of memories on our identity, contrasting a life with intact memories against one where they are erased daily due to dementia. It explores the reality of Alzheimer's disease, its progression, and the existential questions it raises about selfhood and the fragility of our cognitive existence. The narrative is further enriched by the poignant story of artist William Utermohlen's self-portraits, illustrating the erosion of self-perception through dementia, and the unsettling truth of false memories, challenging our trust in the reliability of our own recollections.

Takeaways

• 🔑 Memories are powerful triggers that can evoke intense emotions and past experiences.
• 🧠 Our identity is deeply tied to our memories and the continuity they provide to our consciousness.
• 👵 Dementia, often associated with Alzheimer's disease, impairs memory and cognitive functions, affecting millions.
• 📉 Alzheimer's is the leading cause of dementia, with a significant increase in cases due to an aging population.
• 🧬 The exact cause of Alzheimer's remains unknown, but it is characterized by abnormal protein deposits in the brain.
• 📉 Dementia progresses in stages, with early signs often going unnoticed and later stages leading to severe cognitive decline.
• 🎨 Artist William Utermohlen's self-portraits illustrate the erosion of self-perception and cognitive function due to dementia.
• 🕊 The fragility of memory is highlighted by the phenomenon of false memories, which can be influenced by various factors.
• 🤔 The reliability of our memories is questioned, as they can be susceptible to distortion and inaccuracy.
• 🌐 Dementia raises profound questions about the nature of selfhood, existence, and the meaning we derive from life.
• 💡 The script challenges us to consider the abstract and delicate nature of our identities, which are constructed from our memories.

Q & A

What triggers the sudden recall of memories?

Memories can be triggered by various stimuli such as a picture, a song, a scent, or a breeze at a certain temperature and force that is familiar to the individual.

How are memories connected to our identity?

Memories are integral to our identity as they provide subjective continuity, allowing us to track our past and have access to it in the present, shaping our sense of self.

What is the choice presented between living for thousands of years with no memories or living for fifty years with intact memories?

The choice is between living a potentially longer life devoid of memories or a shorter life with clear, consistent memories, which most people would likely prefer for a richer, more meaningful existence.

What is dementia and what are its typical symptoms?

Dementia is a group of symptoms that impair memory, thinking, and general functions, often associated with memory loss, and can be caused by various diseases, with Alzheimer's being the leading cause.

How does Alzheimer's disease affect the brain?

Alzheimer's disease is characterized by abnormal protein deposits in the brain, with amyloid and tau proteins forming plaques and tangles that cause brain cells to die, leading to neuron disconnection, brain shrinkage, and cognitive decline.

What are the seven stages of dementia and what happens in each?

The stages range from minor forgetfulness in the first two stages to severe cognitive decline in stages five and six, and finally, in stage seven, the loss of recognition, language skills, and bodily function, resulting in total disorientation and dysfunction.

What is the significance of William Utermohlen's self-portraits in relation to dementia?

William Utermohlen's self-portraits, painted as his dementia progressed, visually depict the internal effects of dementia, showing how self-perception, autonomy, and understanding of the world change and erode over time.

How do memories differ from watching a video?

Unlike a video, memories have no consistent, distinct, and tangible record. They are always in the present and are subject to corroboration with others or external proof, but many are accessible solely through personal recall.

What is a false memory and how can it be formed?

A false memory is a recollection of events or things that never happened or did not happen as remembered. It can be formed through suggestibility, mislabeling information, or projecting current views or desires onto past events.

What does the phenomenon of false memory formation suggest about the reliability of our memories?

The phenomenon suggests that our memories can be fragile and susceptible, raising questions about how much we can trust them, especially in the absence of external validation.

What broader implications does dementia have on our understanding of existence and identity?

Dementia highlights the fragility of our identities, which are constructed within our minds from imprecise memories and synaptic connections, and raises questions about the nature of selfhood and the reliability of our cognitive experiences.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 The Essence of Memory and Dementia

This paragraph explores the power of memories and the profound impact of dementia on identity and self-perception. It poses a hypothetical choice between living a long life devoid of memories or a shorter life with intact memories, suggesting most would opt for the latter. The text delves into the concept of identity being tied to our ability to recall past experiences, which provide continuity and meaning to our lives. It introduces dementia as a condition that impairs memory and cognitive functions, with Alzheimer's disease being the primary cause. The paragraph also discusses the physical manifestations of Alzheimer's, such as protein deposits leading to neuronal death and brain deterioration, and outlines the seven stages of dementia, highlighting the progressive loss of cognitive abilities and the profound existential questions it raises about our sense of self.

05:03

🎨 The Artistic Depiction of Dementia's Toll

The second paragraph focuses on the personal journey of artist William Utermohlen, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and documented his cognitive decline through a series of self-portraits. These portraits, initially detailed and accurate, progressively lose definition and become abstract, reflecting the erosion of self-perception and cognitive function due to dementia. The discussion extends to the broader implications of memory fragility, the phenomenon of false memories, and the inherent unreliability of our recollections. It raises questions about the nature of our existence and the construction of our identities within the confines of our minds, suggesting that we are all, in a way, demented, as our memories are susceptible to distortion and loss, and our sense of self is a fragile construct.

Keywords

💡Memories

Memories are the mental images or experiences of past events that individuals retain. In the video, memories are central to the theme as they are portrayed as the essence of personal identity and continuity. The script suggests that memories can be triggered by simple stimuli like a picture, song, or scent, and they are integral to our sense of self, as seen in the line 'In many ways, we are our memories.'

💡Dementia

Dementia is a group of symptoms that affect memory, thinking, and behavior severe enough to impair daily life. The script discusses dementia as a condition that disrupts the fabric of identity by erasing memories, which is a profound loss for the individual. It is highlighted as a leading cause of memory loss, particularly associated with Alzheimer's disease, as mentioned in 'The term dementia refers to a group of symptoms that impair memory, thinking, and other general functions.'

💡Alzheimer's disease

Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of dementia, characterized by the formation of abnormal protein deposits in the brain. The video script emphasizes its impact on cognitive decline and identity, stating 'The leading cause, however, is Alzheimer's disease. As many as 60-80% of cases of dementia are caused by Alzheimer's.'

💡Amyloid and Tau

Amyloid and tau are two proteins associated with Alzheimer's disease. Amyloid forms plaques outside brain cells, and tau forms tangles inside them, leading to cell death. The script explains this process as 'Two proteins called amyloid and tau form plaques around and cause tangles within brain cells, eventually causing them to die.'

💡Cognitive decline

Cognitive decline refers to a gradual deterioration in cognitive abilities, including memory, attention, and language skills. The video script describes the stages of dementia, where cognitive decline is a significant aspect, as seen in 'In stages five and six, severe cognitive decline takes place.'

💡Identity

Identity is the condition of being a distinct individual, which the script relates to the continuity of memories and cognitive function. It is suggested that identity is not merely physical but also mental, as our memories and experiences shape who we are, as expressed in 'The meaning we form from ourselves—our identity—is, of course, not merely physical.'

💡False memories

False memories are recollections of events or experiences that did not happen or are distorted versions of reality. The script discusses a study by Elizabeth Loftus, where participants formed false memories of getting lost in a shopping mall, illustrating how suggestibility can lead to the creation of false memories, as mentioned in 'A common symptom of dementia is forming false memories.'

💡Self-portraits

Self-portraits are artworks that an artist creates of themselves. The script references the self-portraits painted by William Utermohlen as his Alzheimer's progressed, which visually depict the erosion of self-perception and identity. The portraits serve as a powerful example of how dementia affects one's sense of self, as described in 'Utermohlen painted a now-famous series of self-portraits.'

💡Existence

Existence refers to the state of living or having presence. The video script ponders the implications of dementia on the nature of existence, questioning what it means to be when memory and cognitive functions are compromised. It is explored in the context of the fragility of our identities and the abstractness of self-hood, as in 'What are we without our memories, without the ability to remember accurately, without the ability to form memories, without certain aspects of our brain?'

💡Consciousness

Consciousness is the quality or state of awareness, or of being able to perceive one's own thoughts and feelings. The script touches on how dementia dims the light of consciousness within the affected, suggesting a loss of self-awareness and identity. This is highlighted in the phrase 'Proportional to the degree in which dementia dims the light of consciousness and selfhood within the affected, it illuminates the delicacy and abstractness of these things for the unaffected.'

Highlights

Memories can be triggered by simple experiences like a picture, song, or scent, evoking intense emotions and recollections of our past.

The human identity is deeply intertwined with our memories, which provide a sense of continuity and self-awareness.

A hypothetical choice between immortality with memory loss and a finite life with intact memories highlights the value we place on memory for a meaningful existence.

Dementia, often associated with Alzheimer's disease, impairs memory and cognitive functions, affecting up to 80% of cases.

Alzheimer's disease is the leading cause of dementia and the seventh leading cause of death in the U.S., with increasing prevalence due to an aging population.

The progression of Alzheimer's involves the buildup of abnormal protein deposits, amyloid and tau, leading to neuronal death and brain deterioration.

Dementia is characterized by seven stages, starting with minor forgetfulness and escalating to severe cognitive decline and loss of self-recognition.

In the later stages of dementia, individuals experience a profound loss of cognitive function, including the inability to recognize loved ones and themselves.

The impact of dementia raises existential questions about identity, consciousness, and the fragility of our self-perception.

Artist William Utermohlen's self-portraits during his Alzheimer's progression visually depict the erosion of self and memory.

Utermohlen's artwork reflects the gradual loss of detail and self-recognition, ending in abstract, unrecognizable forms.

Memories are always experienced in the present, despite being formed in the past, emphasizing their impermanent and subjective nature.

False memories, common in dementia, also occur in healthy individuals, challenging the reliability of our recollections.

Psychological studies, such as Elizabeth Loftus's mall study, demonstrate the formation of false memories through suggestion and cognitive biases.

The mind's susceptibility to false memories and the fragility of our memories question the trustworthiness of our personal history.

Dementia and Alzheimer's disease reveal the vulnerability of our identities, constructed within the imprecise and fragile framework of memory.

The existential implications of dementia force us to consider the nature of selfhood and the precariousness of our existence within our minds.

Transcripts

It doesn’t take much. A picture. A song. A scent.  A breeze at just the right temperature with just  

the right amount of force. Suddenly, memories  flash through our head. Clicked on by the  

cursor of these familiar experiences, old files  open. Often with an intense poignancy, longing,  

regret, delight, or whatever else, we watch them  play. People. Places. Things. Feelings. States  

of who were—at least who we believe we were. In many ways, we are our memories. If you were  

given the choice to either live for thousands of  years but every day, all of your memories would  

be erased, or live for fifty years and all of your  memories would remain fully intact and consistent,  

which would you choose? For most of us, I believe,  the choice is obvious. Fifty years with clear,  

consistent memories provides the richer, more  meaningful life. Perhaps, in this dichotomy,  

it provides the only rich, meaningful life.  But what does this mean about what we derive  

value from? The meaning we form from ourselves—our  identity—is, of course, not merely physical. It’s  

the ability of our mind to retain and provide  subjective continuity—a tracking of our past  

that we ceaselessly have access to in the present. What if an old image of yourself, of your friends,  

or the sensation of a familiar breeze with  the scent of a place you’ve been many times,  

didn’t open anything? No memories—at least  no clear, consistent ones. The files and  

folders have been trashed with no backup. Not  only that, but no new memories can be formed  

either. Who would you be? What would this  mean? Would there be a you? For some of us,  

this isn’t a thought experiment or hypothetical.  It is or will become reality. Our memories will  

be lost—daily, momentarily, from our entire life. The term dementia refers to a group of symptoms  

that impair memory, thinking, and other general  functions. Typically, dementia is associated with  

memory loss. Dementia can be caused by many  diseases and conditions. The leading cause,  

however, is Alzheimer's disease. As many as  60-80% of cases of dementia are caused by  

Alzheimer's. It is also the seventh leading cause  of death in America, in general. According to the  

Alzheimer's Association, 10% of 65-year-olds  have Alzheimer's. That percentage continues to  

increase significantly with age. And due to the  increasing number of older people as a result of  

advancements in medicine and technology, cases  of Alzheimer’s are significantly increasing. 

The cause of Alzheimer’s is still mostly unknown.  The main characteristic, however, is abnormal  

protein deposits in the brain. Two proteins called  amyloid and tau form plaques around and cause  

tangles within brain cells, eventually causing  them to die. As the cells die, the neurons and  

their network become disconnected, and parts of  the brain shrink. The correlated functions of the  

brain deteriorate alongside, and dementia sets in. There are seven stages of dementia. The first two  

go by mostly unnoticed. Minor forgetfulness  and occasional difficulty finding the right  

words. In the third and fourth stages, symptoms  become increasingly noticeable. Significant and  

interfering forgetfulness. Difficulty forming  and completing sentences. Decreasing ability  

to manage daily tasks and keep up with events. And  other general dysfunction. In stages five and six,  

severe cognitive decline takes place. The mind  begins to take the individual from themselves.  

Significant memory loss occurs. Confusion about  oneself and one’s environment. Major personality  

changes. Inability to accomplish basic tasks.  Delusions. And hallucinations. By stage seven,  

dementia essentially takes everything that is  left. The recognition of family members and  

oneself. Language skills. Bodily function. What  remains is total disorientation and dysfunction.  

At this point, the world has lost nearly  all symbolic meaning. The ability to label,  

define, recognize, and recall things is gone. And  these things, from the perspective of the mind,  

is all the world is. The individual is now  completely adrift in a shrinking sea of  

evaporating brain cells until, finally, the  sea dries up enough for no life to remain. 

Putting aside the gruesome, horrible details of  this very real experience for very real people,  

it is both deeply profound and deeply unsettling  to consider dementia’s implications—what it  

suggests about who we are and what it means  to exist and derive meaning from existence.  

Proportional to the degree in which dementia dims  the light of consciousness and selfhood within  

the affected, it illuminates the delicacy and  abstractness of these things for the unaffected. 

In 1995, American artist William Utermohlen was  diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 61. Following  

his diagnosis, over the subsequent five years,  into and throughout the stages of his dementia,  

Utermohlen painted a now-famous series  of self-portraits. In these portraits,  

one can observe the internal effects of  dementia depicted visually—how the affected  

person’s self-perception, autonomy, and symbolic  understanding of the world changes and erodes  

overtime. The portraits start out with detail  and accuracy, but soon, they become abstract,  

containing unusual colors and shaping  until, finally, in the last portraits,  

they dip into nothing more than grungy, shaded  circles with what can maybe be made out to be  

the shadows of what was once a nose or a brow. At some point throughout the process, it can be  

assumed that Utermohlen loses comprehension of  the significance of the portraits. But to the  

outside observer, they reveal the fragility  and abstract underlying nature of self-hood,  

memories, and cognitive function. What are we  without our memories, without the ability to  

remember accurately, without the ability to form  memories, without certain aspects of our brain? 

In general, recalling a memory is, in some  sense, like watching a video. The video,  

though it was produced in the past, is and can  only be watched right now. Memories are always  

in the present. Remembering is always  a present act. Unlike a video, however,  

with memories, there is no consistent, distinct,  and tangible record of them. We can, of course,  

corroborate our memories with others, with  trackable events, or with external proof,  

but for most of life’s events in which there  are no witnesses who can provide a testimony,  

or there are conflicting testimonies, or there are  no clear facts or evidence, our past is accessible  

to us solely through our memories. But if our  memories can be this fragile, this susceptible,  

how much can we trust them in general? A common symptom of dementia is forming  

false memories. These are memories of events and  things that never happened—or didn’t happen in a  

way that one believes they did. But false memories  are not exclusive to those affected by dementia.  

They can and likely do occur in everyone. In a study in 1994 conducted by psychologist  

Elizabeth Loftus, participants were asked  to describe a specific event from their  

childhood—getting lost in a shopping mall.  Participants then proceeded to describe the  

event with great detail. The issue is that none  of the participants had actually ever gotten lost  

in a mall. It was merely suggested to them in a  question asked by the psychologist conducting the  

study. 25% of the participants, however, formed  entire confabulated memories of this event. There  

are many other studies like this—studies that  demonstrate to statistical significance the  

phenomenon of false memory formation as  a result of things like suggestibility,  

mislabeling information, and the projection of  one’s current views or desires onto past events. 

How many of our memories are false  memories? Confabulations generated  

out of our desire for something other than  the truth—out of jealousy, shame, hope,  

confidence, a changing in personal views and  values; out of ineptitude and credulousness;  

out of cognitive biases. There are so many  blind spots in the mind, the mind is more  

like one big blind spot with one tiny spotlight.  Like a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy,  

each instance of remembering a thing  also remembers the previous instance  

of remembering the thing (sometimes solely the  previous instance), each instance potentially  

losing detail and accuracy—connective tissue  to the real experience. We are all playing a  

lifelong games of telephone with ourselves about  ourselves. We are all demented in some sense. 

Alzheimer’s and dementia are so unsettling and  horrifying, not only because of the terrible,  

prospective firsthand experience but also  because of what it reveals about our existence  

in general. We are passengers—to our bodies,  our minds, the universe. We are inextricably  

contained inside the clump of jell-O-like  fat inside our skull, and our identities are  

fragile constructions made within this, out  of the imprecise shapes of memories—synaptic  

connections vulnerable to being ripped apart. The kinds of questions one might ask who  

suffers from later stage dementia aren’t  so dissimilar from the kinds of questions  

one might ask broadly when considering the  implications of dementia, when considering  

the origins and prospects of existing inside a  mind. Where am I? What am I doing? What am I?